Valentine's Day Dating Movies

(image from the IMDb)

This year's Valentine's Day show - which you can totally still listen to at the Self Help Radio website - was about dating - & naturally our resident cinephile Chuck showed up to talk about some movies which had at the very least one date in each of them.

Here is his YouTube playlist of films tagged with 'dating.'
Here is (in his words) a "bonus YouTube playlist of films tagged with 'cult-film' and at least partly in the Romance genre (some just barely)."

Here are a pair of links from the IMDb which show films you can stream elsewhere for free:
films tagged dating
films tagged cult-film + romance

You can read Chuck's Letterboxd reviews of the films he watched here.

Chuck uses the IMDb for keyword searches:
here are the ones tagged dating
here are the ones tagged cult-film + romance

& of course you can find out what he's watching at all times on his Twitter feed.

Maybe there's something here to watch with a date on Valentine's Day!

National Dickenbock Report Caught Without An Umbrella Day

(image from here.)

The Dickenbock Report didn't air this week either.  You'll recall, the show wasn't on the air last week - or else it was, but it was the wrong episode - & it sort of aired this week - well, it started very late - 47 minutes of dead air preceded the show - but of course that meant a good deal of the show wasn't heard.

Like last week, this happened through no fault of my own.  In both cases, I had shows prepared.  In both cases, Freeform Portland volunteers made the mistakes that caused the shows I had prepared to not air.  Oh, & of course I received no apologies from either of them - or even station management!

If I seem a bit angry, it's because I am.  My radio shows are quite shabby, & it's probably a shock to most listeners that I spend a great deal of time on them.  If I had done something as thoughtless & careless as these two volunteers, I would be so very apologetic & I would do something to make it up to them.  Because I imagine that everyone devotes the same if not more time than I do on their shows.  & had I somehow completely disrespected their work - even by accident! - I not only would attempt to make amends, I would also expect to be reprimanded, & I would deserve it.

But from the way things have happened, that does not appear to be the Freeform Portland way.

In any event, you weren't ever going to listen to the show, but in the very small chance you want to hear it, to prove to yourself that I couldn't possibly have spent hours working on it, & maybe even mock me for my outrage, I have put it on the Self Help Radio website.  Yesterday was National Umbrella Day, & so I played lots of songs & talked a lot about umbrellas.  Here is a direct link to the show.  Remember you'll need a username - SHR - & a password - selfhelp - to listen.

Heavy sigh.

Self Help Radio 020822: Dating (Valentine's Day 2022 Show)

(original image here.*)

It's true, Valentine's Day is almost a week away, but this is the closest Self Help Radio can get to the day without missing the day.  & anyway, it's on a Monday, & all the Valentine's Day dates are happening this weekend.  If anything, we're just a tad bit early - anticipating the love fest from Friday to Sunday, as it were.

You can see the playlist below to note that we covered all aspects of dating: first dates, blind dates, double dates, even speed dating & online dating.  & that's just in the songs - we had five different interviews too!

It actually felt a bit like a speed date.  But unlike a date, as I was driving home alone afterwards, I felt all right.  But then I had a wife & five cats & dogs to come home to.  Hey!  That was what I was missing in my dating days!  A romantic partner & pets to return to when the date went bad!

You can listen to the show now at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  You know at the Self Help Radio website you'll need the username SHR & the password selfhelp don't you?  All right.  Have a listen, & see all that happens on the show below.

& happy Valentine's Day!

Self Help Radio 220208: Valentine's Day 2022 - Dating

"First Date" Mark Wynter _The Very Best Of Mark Wynter_

"First Date" Nella Dodds _This Is A Girl's Life: The Complete Wand Recordings 1964-1965_

"First Date" Tijuana Panthers _Carpet Denim_

introduction & definitions

"Gotta Getta Date" Jan & Dean _The Complete Early Years_

"Let's Go On A Date" Andrew W.K. _Close Calls With Brick Walls_

"The Dating Handbook" David Cross _HBO Special_

"Date Night Pt. 2" Bad Idea _I Just Want To Go Home_

"Fear Of Dating" The Nonpareils _Little Darla Has A Treat For You, Volume 4 Summer 1996_

interview with online dating expert Derek Slater

"Date With Destiny" Mental As Anything _Fundamental As Anything_

"Computer Dating" Theoretical Girls _Theoretical Girls_

"Online Dating Material" Aziz Ansari _Buried Alive_

"Blind Date" Chia Pet _Hey Baby_

"Why Do You Have To Go Out With Him When You Could Go Out With Me" The Brilliant Corners _Creamy Stuff (The Singles 84-90)_

interview with Hollywood game show producer Denver Smith

"Got A Date With An Angel" Pat O'Malley _They Called It Crooning: The Smooth Singers Of The 20s & 30s!_

"I've Got A Date With A Dream" Billie Holiday _The Quintessential Billie Holiday, Volume 6 (1938)_

"My Blind Date" Woody Allen _The Night Club Years 1964-1968_

"I Took My Head On A Date" Po! _Horse Blanket Weather_

"I've Got A Date With Jesus" The Magnetic Fields _Quickies_

interview with dating researcher Dr. Phil Nicklin

"Real Date" Insignificant Other _I'm So Glad I Feel This Way About You_

"Blind Date" The Boomtown Rats _Tonic For The Troops_

"Horny Priests (Dating Service)" Jim Florentine _Terrorizing Telemarketers Vol. 3_

"Girl I've Got A Date" Alton Ellis _The Story Of Jamaican Music: Forward March 1958-1967_

"Expiration Dating" Future Teens _Hard Feelings_

interview with Steve Roper, who hasn't had a date in twenty years

"Too Young To Date" D-Day _Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Hits Of The '80s, Vol. 1_

"The Lighter Side Of Dating" The Monochrome Set _Strange Boutique_

"The Top 10 Things To Never Say On A First Date" MC Lars _The Zombie Dinosaur LP_

"Crazy Date" The Crazy Teens _Rockabilly Red Hot & Rare - Volume Three_

"Dream Date" Ida _Ten Small Paces_

cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about films featuring dating

"Date Bait" Blue Smitty _The Chess Story 1947-1975_

"Everybody's Got A Date But Me" Gene Vincent _The Best Of Gene Vincent_

"My First Big Date" Terri Robbins _They Sang In Pittsburgh - Vol. 1_

"Blind Date" Lancelot Link & The Evolution Revolution _Lancelot Link & The Evolution Revolution_

"I Have A Date" Simpletones _I Have A Date_

"Guitar Date" The 5.6.7.8.s _Bomb The Twist_

at this late date, a definition of terms

"We Got A Date" Hasil Adkins _Out To Hunch_

"Secret Date" The Bobbyteens _Young & Dumb_

"Dating Batman" Cars Can Be Blue _All The Stuff We Do_

"Worst Date Ever" The Charles Edward Cheese Band _Let's Eat Pizza!_

"Order For Date" Dan Mintz _The Stranger_

"Speed-Date" Arab Strap _The Last Romance_

conclusion & goodbye

"Is She Really Going Out With Him?" Joe Jackson _DIY: Starry Eyes - UK Pop II (1978-79)_

"Date With An Angel" Game Theory _Blaze Of Glory_

"I Hate Dates" The Side Eyes _So Sick_

"San Francisco Dating Life" Hot Flash Heat Wave _Soaked_

* "Dates?" by .::RMT::. is licensed under

Whither Dating (Valentine's 2022 Show)?

(image from here.)

Valentine's Day is one of those days that I like to make radio shows about but which I like to find different themes for - so far on Valentine's Days past, I've explored love, hate, crushes, jealousy, boyfriends, girlfriends, love songs, lovesick, "love is...", valentines, famous lovers, heartbreak, sweethearts, roses, flirting, the heart, & the phrase "make you mine." (Those links will go to show playlists, not actual shows - although perhaps the last couple are still available.)

In any event, just like with Halloween, I like to come up with a different theme for the Day each year, & this year I've settled on "dating."  It came to me like a lot of the ideas I get for these shows - I was thinking too hard about it, & fretting about it - I left the theme off the front page for two weeks - it just said "Valentine's Day 2022" - until I was not thinking about it, & it came to me.  Dating.  Why the hell not?

Myself, I haven't been on a real date ever - but certainly not since I've been married - I don't really count going out with one's spouse a date - so I am no expert, but there will be guests & songs that may inform the theme.  Will the show get you a date?  It will not.

Listen! Tonight! Almost a week away from Valentine's Day! Midnight to 3am on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland, online at kboo.fm.  At the very least it will be romantic.

Preface To Valentine's Day 2022: Online Dating

(image from here.)

Dating is hard & I was terrible at it.  I didn't date at all in high school, when I had a car, & I didn't have a car most of the time I lived in Austin, when I would have had most opportunities for dating.  The truth is, I'm not sure that I ever had a proper date, opting instead to "hang out" with someone in the hopes that there might be romance.  Almost certainly anything that might have been construed as a date in my past was advertised & presumed to be just two friends spending time together.  If it ended with something romantical, it was always a surprise to me.

One thing is true: I never went on a blind date.  I met potential partners through work, or the radio, or in class.  I met two of the women I've had long-term relationships with - including the one I married, with whom I've been in a relationship for two decades - at a bus stop.

In the mid-90s though a few of my friends, unlucky in love, began meeting prospective matches in chat rooms online.  These seemed less expensive & slightly less weird than arranging a date through what were called "personal ads" in the back of alternative weekly periodicals.  I did myself do some online chatting, & wrote emails to strangers I met online, but although I was somewhat awkwardly flirty, I never encouraged anything romantic because of the same reason I never had a blind date - I did not want to have any expectations shattered, as they almost certainly would be.

Listen: a few times girls called me on my radio shows & asked me out.  I would tell them to come by the show.  More often than not, meeting me in person was a huge disappointment for them.  They could easily leave because I had a show to do; sitting across from me at a restaurant would have been torture for them.

But I was paired up & on my way to marriage when dating apps started being a thing.  I probably would have avoided them, too.  Not because I have some weird judgment about them - I don't!  If I thought I had the slightest physical attractiveness, I would've done everything the way the people I knew did them: invited people to visit me from chat rooms across the country; went on blind dates; even made a dating profile for the personals.  I just knew that I make terrible first impressions.  What might be interesting about my musical choices is not reflected in my ugly mug.

Whether online dating is a good or bad thing depends on the user - I have no opinion.  It's such a big part of so many people's lives now, though!  I am impressed.  & also glad I don't have to use it.  Because like I said, I wouldn't.  & people would think I felt too good for it or something.

Maybe if there were an app for meeting people at bus stops...

Some Sunsets

Here are two sunsets & one picture of the sun which I have taken on February 5ths past.

On this day, last year: an apocalyptic sunset as seen from our neighborhood.

From three years ago today: an invisible winter sun.

From five years ago, the clouds lead the way to the end of the day.

The first two (on this page, not chronologically) were taken in Portland, the last in Fort Worth.  I'm not sure why I like winter sunsets - certainly you don't always get to see the sun set in rainy Portland.  But I was a little surprised at the photos of the sun I've taken on this day.  So I thought I'd share.

National Missing Dickenbock Report Day

(image from here)

You might not know this, but I do another weekly radio show besides Self Help Radio, & it's called The Dickenbock Report, & it airs Thursdays from 8-10am on Freeform Portland.  Unlike Self Help Radio, the show isn't live - I record it at home, & per Freeform Portland policies I have to turn it in three days early so it can be "cleared" (ie, made sure there weren't any FCC violations) before airing.  Freeform Portland is run entirely by volunteers, & so it's a volunteer that does that.  We get a note from whoever "clears" the show that it's been approved, & I expect to listen to it Thursday morning so I can live tweet it like I do Self Help Radio (which I do live, however).

Like SHR, The Dickenbock Report is theme-based, but it's in the corny form of a fake newscast, usually organized around a National Day, like yesterday's show, which was based on National Missing Persons Day, which is February 3rd.  The show cannot be re-run, you see - it would make no sense to have that show airing on a different, unrelated say.  So I make sure that I get the show in on time, or else the Freeform Portland automation would either run the previous week's show (bad) or another show (which is called "an evergreen") in its place (which wouldn't be so bad).

My luck at Freeform Portland has been okay.  Sometime last year, the server would go down right before my show with such regularity that I joked about it on the show.  But lately I have been surprised & pleased that the show is airing at the right time, no problems, & I am able to live tweet the show, & I feel all right about the work I put into the show, which is close to what I put into Self Help Radio, mainly because of recording my airbreaks.

Oh I understand no one listens - that's a given.  But I feel a small sense of accomplishment.

Except the National Missing Persons Day show didn't air this week.  The volunteer who "cleared" the show made a mistake that led to a previous show airing.  It was a show that happened to be on my birthday, which is January 20.  So somehow a show from two weeks was placed where the show that the volunteer had "cleared" was supposed to be.

By the way, the volunteers who "clear" the episodes don't sign their names.  I have no idea who did it.  & I'm almost certain that that person isn't aware of the mistake they made.  Which means they might do that regularly.  This is the joy of a volunteer-run station.

Sorry to be complaining about this.  I spend some time on these shows - even if it's not obvious because of how shabby they are - so it's both disappointing & frustrating that it won't get to air.

& so I put it on the Self Help Radio website.  Here's the direct link.  You'll need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to listen.

Yes, you wouldn't have otherwise listened, & you certainly won't now.  But the case of the missing Dickenbock Report on National Missing Persons Day has been solved.  & it wasn't at all exciting.

Self Help Radio 020122: Tambourines

(Original image here.*)

It was sad, all my tambourines were confiscated at the doors of KBOO before I could go in.  Otherwise I would've played tambourine live on the radio along with all the tambourine songs I played.  Because a tambourine is fun to play & infectious!

Instead, the show contained lots of tambourine songs, including some interviews (detailed below) as well as a set dedicated to the most famous tambourine song of all time.  If you didn't like it, if you don't enjoy a set of covers of the same song, I will just say this: it was my wife's idea.  If you did enjoy it, it's also my wife's idea.  Credit where it's due!

Please play your tambourine along when you listen!  & you can do that both at the show's page at KBOO & at the show's website.  If the latter - if at the show's website - make sure you note the username & password required to listen.  They are SHR & selfhelp respectively.

Enjoy!  Enjoy it like you don't normally enjoy the tambourine!

Self Help Radio Tambourine Show

"Tamborine" The Why-Nots _Back From The Grave Volume 9_

"My Tambourine" Chuck Berry _Rock & Roll Music - Any Old Way You Choose It (The Complete Studio Recordings ... Plus!)_

"Soul Tambourine" Bettye Lavette _Souvenirs_

introduction & definitions

"Tamborine" Prince & The Revolution _Around The World In A Day_

"Dance And Shake Your Tambourine" Universal Robot Band _Dance & Shake Your Tambourine_

"Glass Tambourine" Wild Flag _Wild Flag_

"Tambourine" Flannery Brothers _Love Songs For Silly Things_

"Tambourine Day" The High Llamas _Buzzle Bee_

interview with master tambourine player Chaz Richter

"Tambourine" Ambarina _El Sonido Del Río Hablador Vol. 1_

"Tambourine" Ambitious Beggars _Beg!_

"Tambourine" Nice Man & The Bad Boys _The Art Of Hanging Out_

"A Zillion Tambourines" Ammoncontact _With Voices_

"Harmonicas & Tambourines" Hot Hot Heat _Happiness Ltd._

interview with tambourine player organizer Chrissy Locks

"I Am Your Tambourine" Tift Merritt _Tambourine_

"Velvet Like A Tambourine" Susan Voelz _13 Ribs_

"Black Tambourine" Withered Hand _New Gods_

"Toy Tambourine" Aberdeen _It Was The Rain: Lost Recordings 1993-1995_

"Funky Tamborine (Parts I & II)" C & The Shells _Funky Tamborine_

interview with Roger The Tambourine Maker

"Green Tambourine" The Lemon Pipers _The Best Of The Lemon Pipers: Green Tambourine_

"Texas Tambourine" Don Lang & His Frantic Five _Introducing The Hand Jive & Singles Compilation_

"Rockin' Tambourine" Frankie Lymon _Complete Recordings_

"Shake Your Tambourine" Bobby Marchan _Soulin' Volume 2_

"Glass Tambourine" The Green Pajamas _Strung Behind The Sun_

a brief history (disputed) of the tambourine

"A Rolling Tambourine" Kelley Stoltz _Natural Causes_

"Tambourine Girl" Ringo Deathstarr _Colour Trip_

"Tambourine" Happy Hollows _Spells_

"Tambourine" Book Of Love _Lovebubble_

"Black Tambourine" Lo Carmen _The Peach State EP_

"Rockers Tamborine" Shorty The President _Reggae Bloodlines_

a brief discussion of the song "Mr. Tambourine Man"

"Mr. Tambourine Man" Bob Dylan _The Real Royal Albert Hall 1966 Concert!_

"Mr. Tambourine Man" Melanie _Born To Be_

"Mr. Tambourine Man" William Shatner _Spaced Out: The Best Of Leonard Nimoy & William Shatner_

"Mr. Tambourine Man" Con-Funk-Shun _How Many Roads (Black America Sings Bob Dylan)_

"Mr. Tambourine Man" Johnny Johnson & The Bandwagon _Breaking Down The Walls Of Heartache_

"Mr. Tambourine Man" Flatt & Scruggs _1964-1969, Plus_

conclusion & goodbye

"Sixteen Chickens & A Tambourine" Roy Acuff & His Jug Band _The King Of Country Music_

"Shake That Tambourine" Elvis Presley _The Complete Elvis Presley Masters_

"Tambourine" Tapes & Tubes _Retroactive_

"Tambourine" Groovy Movies _Groovy Movies_

* "It's a Tambourine, Man!" by MarkyBon is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Whither Tambourines?

(image from here - where you can listen to a different radio show about tambourines!)

It's time once again for a Self Help Radio show about a musical instrument - we've done shows about drums & guitars, for example - in which we play songs about the instrument & not necessarily songs featuring the instrument.  You might expect the latter but you'll get the former!

We've have guests & we'll have a very annoying part of the show (it'll be at the end) but mainly it'll be groovy tunes about the tambourine & yes there'll be tambourine sounds.  I feel like saying more would be overselling.  It's a show about tambourines.  I thought it might be fun.  & it may yet be!

Tonight on 90.7fm KBOO + kboo.fm from midnight to 3am.  I will not bring a tambourine into the station with me.  You're welcome.

Howard Hesseman, RIP

It would be incredibly dishonest for me as someone who spends as much time as I do on the radio to not want to place some of the blame on the great Howard Hesseman & his portrayal of Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP In Cincinatti.  I was an avid listener to the radio, not really caring much about the personalities thereon - it wasn't until I first heard community radio that I realized that a lot of the commercial radio voices were cookie cutter & inauthentic - but Hesseman's Johnny Fever made it look like so much fun.

& you know what - he was right!  It's the most fun thing I've ever done.

So thank you, Howard Hesseman, for being perfect & funny in that role - & of course the many other things you did as well.  You may be gone but you're not leaving behind dead air.  Your inspiration sparked an untold number of people to want to play on the radio, too.

(Sorry, I don't remember where I found that photo!)

Sleeping On The Street

When I started taking pictures with a crappy digital camera - it's only been about eight years - I really just wanted to capture things that engaged me in some way.  What has happened is that they're serving as a kind of memory aid - I will remember where I was when I took the picture sometimes, & the circumstances surrounding the event will come rushing back to me.

This is a picture I took in Dallas on this day in 2017.  The houseless problem there wasn't as bad then as it probably is now, but what the hell do I know.  I saw this fellow - & if his face had been visible, I wouldn't have taken the picture - as I was trying to find my way to a venue where there was a KNON benefit planned.  It was the first benefit I think I volunteered at - & I was tasked with putting food on the plates of the people who came to the benefit, one of the benefits of which was free food.  I actually have never worked in the food industry in my life, & I was terrible at it.  But I wanted to help the station & most of all I wanted a show.  I might get one in a year?  I forget when I got the show there.  Of course I didn't stay in Dallas long.

My wife hates when I take pictures like this.  Perhaps I shouldn't share it.  There is I hope a great deal of empathy in this picture.  There but for fortune go you & I.

My Unwanted Opinion

(from an article on BBC news)

Welcome to a new portion of this blog where I give my opinion, which has no weight anywhere, & which is no better than yours.  Unlike other people, who might share their opinions on social media, where someone might actually read them, I am sharing this on my blog, which is read by a negative number of people.  Work that one out.

Apparently there were some feathers ruffled when bona fide British pop star Damon Albarn gave his opinion about bona fide world-wide pop star Taylor Swift.  She got mad, he apologized, people took sides, I'm sure someone somewhere tried to find a way to burn their Gorillaz mp3s in protest, something to get excited about online.

Now, I don't care if you share the same opinion as I do.  It doesn't threaten me in the least.  & generally speaking, I don't judge you for it.  I understand that people approach music in myriad ways, & myself used to listen to commercial radio.  I don't anymore, & it's a fact it's not a kind of indie boasting when I say that I don't think I've ever listened to a Taylor Swift song.

It's not that I haven't heard a Taylor Swift song.  There was one of her songs during the end credits of some movie we watched, & my wife pointed out to me that it was Taylor Swift.  It wasn't the kind of music I enjoy, & I didn't listen to it.  This is a skill I've developed over time - finding a way to keep things I like out of my head by not subjecting myself to repetition.

Anyway, the opinion I have has really nothing to do with Damon Albarn's comments or Taylor's Swift's reaction, or even her music in particular.  It's one of bewilderment, & here it is:

Personally I am surprised that any pop star is allowed to write their own songs.  Someone like Taylor Swift is a paycheck to literally thousands of people, & the idea that the corporation that promotes her & sells her music would take a chance with not getting a tested & true songwriter, producer, etc., to work on her songs would seem incredibly irresponsible to the corporation making money off of her.

& maybe I'm right - there's usually another name on her songwriter credits, but I don't really have any more details or a desire to research if that person is someone hired by the corporation to guarantee that the songs are hits.  It's not really the point.  I can't believe any money-making pop star's future would be left to chance by the people who have invested in them.  It doesn't sound like good business practices.

That's it!  No judgment about the music or the artist or anything.  It isn't really about the situation at all - just my own vague understanding of a corporate music industry which I don't really pay much attention to.  My unwanted opinion.

Also, probably dumb.  Maybe this series going forward will be called "my unwanted dumb opinion."

Self Help Radio 012522: Darkness

In the chilly darkness of a Portland Monday evening, I sat in my car & waited for the defroster to melt the thin layer of ice that had accumulated on the windshield.  It was thirty minutes before the show.  It takes me about fifteen minutes to drive up to KBOO.  Though there were lights on in the car, & the porch light on outside my house, I was surrounded on all sides by darkness.

The drive is dark, too.  I commented yesterday that there don't seem to be as many streetlights in Portland, & maybe that's so.  I do know that as I drive to KBOO, I drive parallel to the Willamette, & it's a dark, black stretch of nothing between me & the other side of Portland.  That's the kind of darkness where you know something's there.  & you know it's dangerous & cold.  You could easily imagine that nightmares emerge from that kind of darkness.

On the air at last, I lie & say I'm sitting in the dark.  My eyesight is poor, I need all the light I can get - the young deejays at other radio stations would often come in at the end of my show - & the beginning of theirs - & say, "Mind if I turn off some of these lights?"  I did an entire radio show about darkness in the brightest part of the station!

Oh dear, I'm rambling because I'm sleepy.  Listen to a show about darkness either at the Self Help Radio KBOO Page or at the show's website at Self Help Radio dot net.  You know if you use the latter, you'll need a username - try SHR - & a password - try selfhelp.  What happens on the show is mentioned below.

Self Help Radio Darkness Show
"Darkness" Gamith _Carolina Funk_

"Darkness" Leonard Cohen _Old Ideas_

"Darkness" The Hussy _Galore_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"A Darkness Rises Up" Broken Records _Let Me Come Home_

"Darkness Descends" Laura Marling _I Speak Because I Can_

"Slipping Into Darkness" Carl Bradney _Darker Than Blue: Soul From Jamdown 1973-1980_

"Prince Of Darkness (12" Version)" Bow Wow Wow _Your Box Set Pet (The Complete Recordings 1980-1984)_

"Heart Of Darkness" Pere Ubu _Datapanik In The Year Zero_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by to talk about books about darkness

"Dear Darkness" PJ Harvey _White Chalk_

"Beware Of Darkness (Demo)" George Harrison _All Things Must Pass_

"World Of Darkness" David Ruffin _My Whole World Ended_

"Even In The Darkness" Rue Royale _Rue Royale_

"Darkness To Light" Julie Doiron _I Thought Of You_

interview with follower of darkness Matt Snail

"Darkness & Cold" Purple Mountains _Purple Mountains_

"Flower Of Darkness" Earth Girl Helen Brown _Four Satellites Vol. 1_

"Turn Away From Darkness" Joyce Dunn _Lost & Found: The Blue Rock Records Story_

"Reach Out Of The Darkness" Friend & Lover _Reach Out Of The Darkness_

"In My Hour Of Darkness" Gram Parsons _Grievous Angel_

interview with proponent of darkness Jesse Thorne

"Darkness" King Khan & The Shrines _Idle No More_

"Let Darkness Fall" Raymond Listen _Licorice Root Orchestra_

"Reachin' Out In Darkness" Norma Jenkins _Patience Is A Virtue_

"Heart Of Darkness" Sparklehorse _Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot_

"Darkness" Sweet Trip _You Will Never Know Why_

interview with servant of darkness Jerry Harris

"Darkness On The Edge Of Town" Bruce Springsteen _Darkness On The Edge Of Town_

"Only Darkness Has The Power" The Mekons _The Mekons Rock 'N' Roll_

"Let There Be More Darkness" Robyn Hitchcock _Invisible Hitchcock_

"Our Own Darkness" True Moon _True Moon_

"Screaming In The Darkness" Pauline Murray & The Invisible Girls _Pauline Murray & The Invisible Girls_

"Darkness Too" Kelley Stoltz _Ah! (Etc)_

a discussion about a single darkness idiom, with a memory attached

"Children Of Darkness" Richard & Mimi Farina _Reflections In A Crystal Wind_

"Little Miss Queen Of Darkness" The Kinks _Face To Face_

"My Daddy Walked In Darkness" Gil Bateman _Knock You Flat! (The Northwest Battle Of The Bands Volume Two)_

"The Darkness Was On Me" Wild Billy Childish & CTMF _Last Punk Standing... & Other Hits!_

"American Darkness" Chelsea Wolfe _Birth Of Violence_

conclusion & goodbye

"Right On For The Darkness" Curtis Mayfield _Back To The World_

Whither Darkness?

(Portland after dark - found here.)

Well if you're going to do a radio show about darkness, it helps that the show happens in the middle of the night, right?

You might surprised at how many musicians have written songs about darkness.  I was.  The idea for the show came during a late-night dog walk - during the winter, there aren't many hours of daylight in Portland, & oftentimes we must walk our dogs in the darkness because we're otherwise occupied in the brief hours of sunlight.  The wife & I were commenting on just how dark it seems to get in Portland as opposed to other places we've lived.  It could be a combination of many things - fewer street lights, larger trees, lower-sitting clouds - but it just seems a different kind of darkness, more intense, more consuming, than the relatively bright darkness of Texas, as an example.  It made me think, what would a radio show about darkness be like?

Tonight you'll find out!  Self Help Radio's show about darkness airs from midnight to 3am tonight (or Tuesday morning however you'd like to calculate the day) on 90.7fm in town & kboo.fm everywhere - & certainly everywhere in the contiguous United States, it will indeed be dark.

Don't count on us for light tonight!

Preface To Darkness: The Way Things Change

(image from an article about why darkness is important in our lives)

There was a time when I preferred the darkness.  I hated mornings - school happened in the mornings! But when the lights went out, with everyone else asleep, I could read what I wanted to, & listen to the radio, & watch old movies on the television - darkness was a kind of loneliness that I retreated into when I was young.

& it lasted into my college years.  In fact, I was stunned I could schedule my own classes so I didn't have to wake up in the morning.  I worked the night shift - 11pm to 7am - at convenience stores in both Garland & Austin for a time.  I liked to stay awake nights, when it was dark.

Then something changed.  I had my heart almost totally broken, betrayed by people closest to me.  Darkness became terrifying, especially since I couldn't sleep.  I came to crave sunlight.  As soon as I could, I'd be outside in the sunlight, sometimes sitting for hours under a tree just glad it was bright.

Though I have reclaimed some of my love of darkness - I love to do radio in the middle of the night, & have since the very beginning - I still feel so happy when there's sun.  & not necessarily the punishing sun of Texas - today was a lovely day in Portland, it's been quite rainy, there's something about the contrast that makes the sunny days that much more special.

A part of me wonders if the devastated me of thirty years ago would appreciate a radio show about darkness.  I think mainly the devastated me of thirty years ago would be surprised I was still here.  & then he might say, "& I have a radio show?"

Movies Of 1986

(image from the IMDb)

Though this past week's show was mainly about music from 1986, our resident cinephile Chuck did stop by to talk a bit about his favorite films from 1986.  Despite thinking it wasn't a very good year from movies, he happened to talk about eight of them, including his favorite movie of the year, & spoiler alert, it's the one in the picture above.

If you haven't already, go listen to the dang show!  At either kboo.fm or selfhelpradio.net!

Explore Chuck's thought & resources in these places:

His Twitter feed.
His Letterboxed Reviews.
His YouTube Playlist.
The IMDb list.
& the IMDb list of films available to stream for free elsewhere.

As always, we hope you discover something fun, & we encourage you always to watch more movies!

 

Books Of 1986

(images on this page from Goodreads.)

On this week's show - which mainly focused on my favorite music from 1986 - we had a visit from our favorite librarian Carole, who talked about some notable literary releases of 1986.  Like the one above.

She also discussed the first book of the Redwall series by Brian Jacques, the cover of which is below:

She talked at length about Gary Paulsen's book Hatchet, the cover of which is below:

So beloved is this book, Carole asked me to share a couple of obituaries of Gary Paulson: one & two.

Finally, she discussed the first book of the Babysitters Club series, called Kristy's Great Idea, published in 1986.  It looks like this:

Carole sent me a few links about the endurance of the Babysitters Club, focusing on:

An interview with author Ann M. Martin

An article about the series' legacy

A discussion about the series & the Netflix show

& fun facts about the series.

It goes without saying if you want to hear the segment, you should do so by listening at kboo.fm or selfhelpradio.net.  & be glad we have someone as smart as Carole around.  Otherwise this show would have no culture at all!

Self Help Radio 011822: 1986

(All cover images from Discogs.)

& here it is: three hours of music from 1986.  It was a very important year of music for me (as I keep saying) & playing it & experiencing it for three hours was quite emotional for me.  & still I didn't play all my favorites!  I'm planning to revisit this in six months or so, there is so much more great music from 1986.

Anyway, the less I yammer on about it, the better.

You can listen to the show at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  As usual, if you choose the latter, remember the username (SHR) & the password (selfhelp) to access the files.  The things that happened on the show are noted below - songs & all.

Happy birthday to me!  I think I had a decent eighteenth year.  The soundtrack was aces.

Self Help Radio 1986 Show
"Greetings To The New Brunette" Billy Bragg _Talking With The Taxman About Poetry_
"Head Full Of Steam" The Go-Betweens _Liberty Belle & The Black Diamond Express_
"Haunted" The Pogues _Sid & Nancy: Love Kills (Music From The Motion Picture Soundtrack)_

introduction

"I Know It's Over" The Smiths _The Queen Is Dead_
"But Not Tonight" Depeche Mode _Black Celebration_
"I Want To Live" This Mortal Coil _Filigree & Shadow_
"If You Leave" Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark _If You Leave_
"Bizarre Love Triangle" New Order _Substance_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by to talk about books from 1986

"Jack Of All Parades" The Costello Show _King Of America_
"Kim The Waitress" Green Pajamas _Kim The Waitress_
"Paper Wraps Rock" Momus _Circus Maximus_
"Hate My Way" Throwing Muses _Throwing Muses_
"I Want You" Elvis Costello & The Attractions _Blood & Chocolate_

our resident cinephile Chuck talks about his favorite movies of 1986

"Soul In Isolation" The Chameleons _Strange Times_
"U.S. 80's-90's" The Fall _Bend Sinister_
"Rise" Public Image Ltd. _Album_
"Cities In Dust" Siouxsie & The Banshees _Tinderbox_
"Some Candy Talking" The Jesus & Mary Chain _Some Candy Talking EP_

people were born in 1986?!?

"Sad Waters" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _Your Funeral... My Trial_
"Star Power" Sonic Youth _Evol_
"Love's Easy Tears" Cocteau Twins _Love's Easy Tears_
"Gunning For The Buddha" Shriekback _Big Night Music_
"Gather Up Your Wings & Fly" Felt _Forever Breathes The Lonely Word_

a discussion of the C86 movement

"You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends" The Wedding Present _You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends_
"I Don't Wanna Be Friends With You" Shop Assistants _Shop Assistants_
"Really Stupid" The Primitives _Really Stupid_
"I Could Be In Heaven" The Flatmates _I Could Be In Heaven_
"Beatnik Boy" Talulah Gosh _Steaming Train EP_
"Going To Heaven To See If It Rains" The Close Lobsters _Going To Heaven To See If It Rains_

conclusion & goodbye

"Love Affair With Everyday Living" The Woodentops _Giant_
"Life's What You Make It" Talk Talk _The Colour Of Spring_
"All In My Mind" Love & Rockets _Express_
"City Of Dreams" Talking Heads _True Stories_

Whither 1986?

(But this is a music show! Image from here.)

Why am I doing a radio show featuring music from 1986?  It's actually quite straightforward, which is not an adjective regularly used around here.

This is my birthday week - my birthday is on Thursday.  Self Help Radio began in October of 2002, & when the first Self Help Radio aired on my birthday week - it was January 22, 2003, which was after my birthday, & I've never done a birthday show after my birthday since then - I thought it might be fun to play music from the year of my birth, which was 1968.  & it so happened that every year after that - except one, 2004, when I had a guest program the show the week of my birth - I've moved a year up.  Last year for example I played my favorite music of 1985.  Next year it will be 1987.

1986 was a very important year for me musically.  In the fall I went away to college & I experienced freedom for the very first time.  That meant buying lots of records with grant & scholarship money, & listening to them in my room as often as possible.  So there's way too much music from 1986 to fit into a single radio show.  I'm sure I'll continue the show later in the year like I did 1985.

Also, many of the songs I love from that year are quite long.  What up with that?

Come back to my eighteenth year with me tonight on 90.7 fm & kboo.fm.  Midnight to 3am.  Maybe you were eighteen then too?

Preface To 1986: My Eighteenth Year

That image up there - which I found here - is a page from my high school yearbook with my picture on it.  I actually don't have many pictures from when I was 18, which is what I was in 1986.  & though I do have that yearbook mouldering in a box somewhere, I have very little desire to open it & scan a doubtless embarrassing picture of me for this dumb blog.  & the site where I found it wants money for something I have in a box.  So squint, you might make me out!  It's all you're getting.

For the past few years, I've been using this blog as a way to talk about my past around the time of my birthday, but lately I've just been committed to other projects - including another radio show, which is recorded, not programmed live - to spend writing about my dumb life.  It's a shame though - I think I enjoyed my eighteenth year, although if I could do it all over again, I would've done it without person I called my "best friend" & with a lot more humility.  I was an arrogant ass more often than not.  For no real reason.  With no real achievements or accomplishments to back it up.  Just absolutely full of shit.

Two major things happened to me when I was eighteen - I got my first kiss, & I left home to go to college.

The first was almost a fluke.  I fell in love with a girl in the high school library.  I introduced myself.  She seemed to like me.  Then a week later it was over.  & then she moved away.  In truth, I was wholly unprepared, but it did give me a chance to pine for her for two years.  I was already pretty good at being lovelorn.  & of course my favorite music was made by broken-hearted boys.

Going to college was almost an accident.  No one talked to me about it.  No teachers or guidance counselors & no one from my family, none of whom had attended college.  I kind of just went along with folks.  I took the SATs & I think my high school teacher recommended I send the results to several colleges (I think this is in the application).  Three of those colleges I would never have been able to afford.  I did apply to the University Of Texas At Austin, & I got in (it wasn't hard in those days, especially if you were a resident of the state) but I didn't know about getting on-campus housing so I missed that window.  If a classmate I only barely knew hadn't called me out of the blue in the summer & asked if I wanted to live with him, I would've been fucked.

No one told me about financial aid, either - I was in line at UT (this was long before computers) when someone asked if I had applied for any.  She was kind & saw my application through the different steps.  & I am so glad this nameless heroine did - because I was very poor, & in the 1980s the government still gave you free money to go to college.  Even though I did take out loans, I wasn't left with tremendous debt after college thanks to work study & Pell grants.

What ended up happening is that I lived with two fellows that I barely knew, who weren't very much like me, while the person I called my "best friend" - who not very secretly despised me & belittled me at every opportunity - lived in the dorms.  It was classic behavior from him - we talked regularly - every day! - in high school, & yet he never said a thing about living together in the dorms.  Anyway, it wouldn't have mattered, he dropped out after a couple of weeks, but because I loved him, & this wouldn't be the first time, I offered to let him live in my apartment.  He did for a few months.  Then he moved back to Garland.  Oh how I wish I hadn't stayed in touch with him!  When I write about my life in a few years - assuming I'm still doing so - you'll understand why.  His utter contempt of me allowed him to betray me on the most fundamental of levels, in a way that almost destroyed me.

Oh & the third thing that happened in 1986 was I became a vegetarian.  Yes, it's because I got into the Smiths.  I got way into the Smiths.  I don't know if I loved a band as much as the Smiths before.  I had been gaga about Bowie, & I adored the Beatles, & I thought Elvis Costello brilliant, but nothing resonated with me on a personal level like the Smiths.  So I paid attention.  & the song "Meat Is Murder" had a profound effect on me.  I've not eaten meat intentionally since - I'm happy to say it's been decades!

The show tomorrow will have lots of music that I discovered in 1986.  It was almost like every album I grabbed off the new release rack at Record Exchange on Guadalupe in Austin was an album I would love.  That seems almost impossible to think of, but once I was able to buy records with money I should've been spending on things like food & my rent, I did so.  There was no one to stop me!

One foolish thing I didn't do is open a bank account in Austin.  I trusted my sister Pat to deposit my checks into my bank account in Garland.  & I was stupid & imagined just mailing them made it okay, & I bounced a lot of checks.

There are so many things I could talk about with me in 1986 but they would probably only be of interest to me.  I discovered six weeks before the school ended that there was something called "class rankings" & was stunned to see I was number 8.  A blond girl whose name I don't remember failed an AP Calculus test & I got moved up to 7.  She wept openly at graduation at her academic misfortune.  I told her that if it would make her feel better, I'd go back to 8, but I think she thought I was mocking her.

That summer I didn't work or do anything.  I would often spend the night walking around with my "best friend."  My car died that summer, & I didn't have any money to - or really any interest in - getting it fixed.  I sold it to my brother-in-law for a hundred dollars, which I promptly spent on comic books.

At college, I was immediately surprised how unsupervised we were.  Taking twelve hours a week meant you were actually in class for just twelve hours a week - what the hell were you supposed to do the rest of that time?  I learned I could just drop a class if I didn't like it.  & I learned how to read a syllabus & to attend study sections so you could figure out if you needed to go to class at all.

But I remained alone & unlucky in love.  I wrote letters to people who didn't really want to write letters to me.  I tried hard to be friendly & asked for phone numbers of people with whom I thought I could get along, but I stopped doing that when one of them called me, just to sell me something.  It hurt my feelings.

& I did some stalkery things of which I am not proud.  I was never going to cross any lines, but at least one girl made it clear she didn't want anything to do with me & I discovered where she lived on campus & sent her letters.  I hope she threw them away.  It was dumb & creepy & I should have known better.  Now that I think about it, that was crossing a line.  I truly hope she wasn't afraid in any way.  I truly do.

All in all, there was the excitement of discovery & the chaos of freedom along with the desperation of being lonely, & young, & completely unsocialized, & also fat & ugly.  That's some of what I could say about my eighteenth year, in 1986.