August 27th Is Weird

It's been about eight years since I happened upon a digital camera & started taking pictures when I was out & about.  I've had no illusions that I was creating art or collecting historical data or whatever.  I was just taking pictures of things I was interested or amused by, & also lots of pictures of my pets, whom I love more than anything else.

Here's something strange: I took almost no pictures on August 27th. Or, maybe, I should rephrase that. If I took a lot of pictures on August 27th, from 2014 to 2021, I didn't save many of them.  Here is one of the few that I have saved:

It's from last year, & of course the context is the fact that for a couple of year right-wing fucknuts kept coming to Portland to - I dunno, "protest"? - cause problems? - who the fuck knows why they showed up.  I was never around any of these situations - didn't attend protests, didn't attempt to stop demonstrations. 

But though I realize it's futile, I am glad some people showed up & stood up to them.

That's an existentialist position, isn't it.

Perhaps it's that it's the end of the summer, perhaps I was simply not inspired for year after year, but for whatever reason, I don't take a lot of pictures on this date.  Except!  Spoiler alert!  I went for a walk in a new neighborhood tonight & took lots of pictures.  Maybe next year I'll share them.  Maybe it'll break whatever losing streak this is.  If it is.

Plans Are Like Pants

(image from here)

One of the almost certainly not amusing things I do is often deliberately confuse the words "plans" & "pants."  Like, I'll say, "I have no pants for the weekend."  Or I'll sing that Close Lobsters song* incorrectly, "Let's make some pants 'cause they can go wrong."  Oddly enough, I don't change the word "plans" for "pants."  Like, I don't say, "I spilled mustard all over my plans."  It's always "pants" for "plans."

Since I overthink most things, I was beginning to overthink this, probably after my wife stared blankly at me when I said "pants" instead of "plans," as in, "What are your pants for the weekend?"  I understood that I might not use that construction often enough for it to become familiar & even possibly endearing to her, so I explained what I meant, & she continued to start blankly at me.  But since I am used to being ignored by her (& nearly everyone else), I began to wonder (or "overthink") if I thought this dumb thing up myself or if I heard it first somewhere else.

To the search engine!  I wrote, "plans are like pants" & I got - well, I got the image above.

It's a quote from Blackadder II, episode 1.  It was said by Rik Mayall's character, Flashheart.  You can hear & see him deliver it right here.  Blackadder is a show I've watched multiple times (well, I've only watched the first season once, I didn't enjoy it that much, but the other seasons multiple times) so I have probably heard that line & laughed at it a lot.

Did it inspire my not amusing & even dumb sometimes habit of confusing the words "pants" & "plans"?  Is it fair to blame such a thing on an innocent television show from more than thirty years ago?  Isn't it a bit disrespectful of the memory of the great Rik Mayall?  To go backwards - it's certainly disrespectful, but it seems somewhat likely & I'll say that maybe it was a factor in me saying this dumb thing.

Anyway.  What are you pants for the weekend?

* I want to point out that at least one lyrics site - genius.com - has the line as "Let's make some plans 'cause they can't go wrong."  Maybe those are the correct lyrics.  But they make much more sense if they're "Let's make some plans 'cause they can go wrong."  The act of planning often helps lessen the chances of something going wrong, but it also increases the chance of something you hadn't thought of going wrong.  It seems to make much more sense to me to make plans knowing full well that they can go wrong instead of making them because you think the planning will therefore be free from any problems.  Anyway, if someone knows a Close Lobster, please tell them not to contradict me.  & add: This is what you get for not including lyrics sheets in your albums!

Self Help Radio 082322: Turquoise

(original image here.)

Here it is. A radio show about turquoise. Which is a mineral which is prized as a gem which gives its name to a color. When I was a child in the late 1970s, turquoise was quite the fashion - I seem to remember not only seeing some pieces in my mom's room but many more in the convenience store where she worked. I don't see it that much anymore. I had hoped the show might encourage listeners to come to the station & leave turquoise offerings to me. Alas, that did not happen.

What did happen was lots of turquoise songs & lots of turquoise conversations with some funny people pretending to be other people. Three hours of songs & interviews. Seriously, that should've encouraged at least one generous jeweler to drop a ring in the KBOO mailslot. Why didn't it?!?

The show is available to be listened to now & whenever (turquoise accoutrement not required but strongly encouraged) at both the KBOO web page & at the Self Help Radio website. You know at the show's website, you need a username & a password, right? Those are SHR & selfhelp respectively. It may seem like a pain but you can download the show there. Yay?  Everything that happened on the show is below.

Please enjoy. & I'll still gladly take any turquoise off your hands. I love it!

Self Help Radio Turquoise Show

"Turquoise" Ken Nordine _Colors: A Sensuous Listening Experience_

"Turquoise" Donovan _Fairytale_

"Turquoise" Gaze _Mitsumeru_

introduction & definitions

"Turquoise" The Rooks _The Quill Records Story (The Best Of Chicago Garage Bands)_

"Turquoise Tandem Cycle" Jason Crest _A Place In The Sun: The Complete Jason Crest_

"On A Turquoise Cloud" Duke Ellington & His Orchestra _The Duke Ellington Carnegie Hall Concerts, December, 1947_

"Turquoise Boy" Sonic Youth _Rather Ripped_

"Turquoise Hand" Death Of Samantha _Strung Out On Jargon_

interview with turquoise vendor Billy Gilmore

"Turquoise Days (John Peel Session)" Echo & The Bunnymen _The John Peel Sessions 1979-1983_

"Les Yeux Turquoise" Manu Chao _Siberie M'Etait Contéee_

"Turquoise" Calexico _El Mirador_

"Lady Of Turquoise" Cary Grace _Lady Of Turquoise_

"Turquoise Fins" Pere Ubu _Ray Gun Suitcase_

interview with transformative life coach JT Grounded

"Living In The Future" John Prine _Storm Windows_

"Turquoise Jewelry" Camper Van Beethoven _Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart_

"Man On A Turquoise Cloud (For Edward Kennedy Ellington)" Anthony Davis _Lady Of The Mirrors_

"Does Turquoise Work?" Eleanor Friedburger _New View_

"Turquoise Walls" Laura Veirs _My Echo_

interview with Major General Bettina Calvin, founder of Turquoise Squad

"Turquoise Blue" The Incredible String Band _No Ruinous Feud_

"Turquoise Blue" Mutton Gun _Mutton Gun III (With Wood)_

"Turquoise Blue" Marc Ford _Holy Ghost_

"Rosanna's Turquoise" Trio Globo _Carnival Of Souls_

"Turquoise Island" Axiom Of Choice _Unfolding_

interview with musician Philip Kind

"Turquoise" Babe Ruth _Babe Ruth_

"Dancing Through The Turquoise" Alex Izenberg _Caravan Château_

"Turquoise" Sam Rivers _Hues_

"Turquoise & Blue" Anjali _Anjali_

"Turquoise Dream" Sparta _Trust The River_

interview with entrepreneur Telly Fibs

"Turquoise" The Pansies _Purple Red Indigo Blue_

"The Turqoise Castle" The Dentists _Dressed_

"Turquoise House" Jim White _Transnormal Skiperoo_

"White Turquoise" Jonathan Wilson _Frankie Ray_

"Turquoise Lake" Ohbijou _Metal Meets_

conclusion & goodbye

"Turquoise Hexagon Sun" Boards Of Canada _Music Has The Right To Children_

"Turquoise" Paul Bley _Sweet Time_

Whither Turquoise?

(image from here.)

The story of a turquoise radio show is a bit circuitous but perhaps it's interesting. It begins with a memory & an unwritten policy of this dumb show.

In general, I hate general themes. Many have asked me to do shows about things like "cars" or "cities." & all that I can see is the hours before me listening to endless songs that could fit that theme. I know I don't have to do that, but I would feel weird if I just picked, you know, a couple hours of my favorite car or city songs. I want to make a diverse show & discover music too! Besides, every general theme can be broken into many more specific themes.

But occasionally something happens & I am stuck with a general theme. A few years ago, someone asked me very sweetly if I could do a show about the color green. I said sure. I kinda cheated though - I crowdsourced the songs by asking friends of mine on Facebook (half of which are deejays) to pick their favorite "green" song.  This was the result. It made the listener happy, my deejays friends got to program a show, & I didn't have to listen to three thousand green songs.

A few weeks ago, flashing on this memory (which it turns out happened almost exactly four years ago!), I wondered if there were a color which for whatever reason did not lend itself to too many songs. & for some reason I thought about turquoise. It might have been because I was listening to Heaven Up Here. In any event I settled on turquoise & began to gather tunes.

The results of that musical foraging happen tonight on KBOO from midnight to 3am. That'll be on 90.7 fm here in Portland & everywhere at kboo.fm. I guess it's Pacific time. I don't specify that enough. But it's the middle of the night pretty much everywhere in the country so what the hell.

Preface To Turquoise: Has This Ever Happened Before?

(image from here.)

This week's Self Help Radio has the theme turquoise. But why? I'll tell you that tomorrow.

Something interesting has happened however while I have been gathering songs about turquoise & turquoise things.  I have found, in almost equal number, both vocal tracks & instrumentals.  Um.  Okay.  But why is it interesting?

It's common for me these days to put instrumental tracks under my voice during airbreaks.  Usually I reserve them therefore for that.  I guess there's also a part of me that's always felt, for a theme-based show, that an instrumental is kind of cheating.  Is a song entitled "turquoise" about turquoise? I'm the sure the writer of the song would think that, but if the song has a singer going on & on about turquoise, it feels to me like that song is more about turquoise than the instrumental song.

But this turn of events feels unprecedented - I mean, I could fill more than half the show with instrumentals tomorrow! & certainly with some of the jazz tracks, they're songs I like as much as the ones with vocals. I can't say if this has happened before. I wonder what it is about turquoise that lends itself to more wordless songs than perhaps any other color?

So what I'm going to have to do is incorporate more instrumentals into tomorrow's show. Half of the songs I've found would otherwise be left behind! & that would be unfair.

Where We Met

(All images on this page courtesy of Gurple Merps)

On this day in 2001, twenty-one years ago, at a bus stop at Duval & 48th in Austin, Texas, I met the woman I would marry.  It was a very hot day & there was a small tree at the corner which we stood under to find relief from the oppressive sun.  She talked to me.  I talked to her.  We rode the bus to the University together - I worked there, she was a graduate student there.  We had no idea that we had a future together.

Unfortunately there are no pictures online of that little tree, but Gurgla Marps has pictures that go back to 2007.  That's the picture above.  Come with me, let's look how that corner has changed.

By 2009, the year we left Austin, the tree was large & gorgeous.  If there had been that much shade on that day in 2001, I wouldn't have stood that close to her, & we may never have spoken.

It charms me that in March 2011, when this picture was taken, there is a couple sitting there.  Maybe they met there too?

In May of 2013, the tree is serving as shade to a bunch of folks doubtless going to school.  I am sad to see that the folks in the house have abandoned their ostentatious cacti in the front.  I liked those.

In October 2014, the corner seemed completely happy to have that wonderful tree standing guard & looking majestic there.  But...

By August 2016, it was gone.  You can see the stump, it must have happened relatively close to when this picture was taken.  I guess it lived maybe sixteen years?  Was it just cut down?  Did some weather event cause it to break & possibly endanger someone?  I don't know.

Here's the corner in May 2018.  The yard looks zeroscaped, & the corner looks quite bare.

A little under a year later, February 2019, & it's downright bleak.  I used to joke with the woman who's now my wife that as the tree grew, our love too would grow.  I guess it's nice we didn't know it was chopped down while we were in Kentucky!

February 2021.  Grim, lonesome, sterile.

April of this year.  The wife & I just talked about how maybe the owners took down the tree to discourage people from waiting at that particular bus stop, if there were more trees at the other nearer spots.  I of course can't say.  But I find it weird that anyone would chop down a tree in its prime.  & I'm glad the little tree under which I met my love grew as beautiful as it did.  It certainly encouraged us when it was small.

Wasting Time At The Movies

(image from the IMDb)

Did you know that on lucky weeks Self Help Radio's resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about movies related to the week's theme?  It's true!  This past week, on the show about "wasting time," I challenged him to share with us some films about time travel (arguably a "waste" of time) & he responded with several films that he enjoyed which were perhaps lesser-known.

If you didn't listen, his was the first interview on the show, & you can find it at both the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website.  Then check out the following links!

Here's the IMDb keyword list he organized his viewing around.

Here is a Letterboxd list of the films he watched (which you may notice contains many of the same links I'm going to share here because I am fond of redundancy).  His Letterboxd reviews are here.

Want to see some of these movies?  Check out Chuck's YouTube playlist as well as the IMDb list of films you can stream elsewhere for free.

& to keep up with what Chuck is watching, please follow him on Twitter.  Real time commentary & reviews!

Never say Self Help Radio doesn't give you plenty of ways to waste your time!

Self Help Radio 081622: Wasting Time

We at Self Help Radio know that the world is designed to maximize the amount of time you can waste at any given moment.  With that in mind, with our show about "wasting time," we have chosen both music & interviews which on the surface may not seem as much a waste of time as you have come to expect from this show but which, when taken with the show in toto, represent a more profound waste of time than usual, perhaps too much of a waste of time, one that might cause one to reconsider one's entire life &/or seek out a new therapist.

We certainly hope, if a sincere attempt at time-wasting is what you are looking for, this one is as wasteful as your expectations of it.  If not, at least it was a waste of time, even if it wasn't the wastiest waste of time imaginable.  Reality television has everyone beaten in that competition.

Listen to this show - which I'm not kidding is quite a waste of time - at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  At the Self Help Radio website, you'll need a username (which is SHR) & a password (which is selfhelp) but you can download the show to waste your time when you don't have an internet connection.  What happens on the show is below.

Self Help Radio Wasting Time Show

"Wasting Time" Jackie Ross _Jerk & Twine: The Complete Chess Recordings_

"Wasting Time" James Phelps _Windy City Soul_

"Wasting Time" Tashaki Miyaki _Castaway_

introduction & definitions

"Wasted Time" Meshell Ndegéocello _Bitter_

"Time Wasted" Banditos _Right On_

"Wasted Time" Best Coast _California Nights_

"Wasted Time" Idle Bloom _Flood The Dial_

"Time Wasted" Shopping _Why Choose_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by the talk time travel movies

"Wasting My Time With You" The Lodger _Cul-De-Sac Of Love_

"Wasting Time" Reading Rainbow _Prism Eyes_

"Wasting My Time" Klaus Nomi _Klaus Nomi_

"Wasting Time" Juliana Hatfield _There's Always Another Girl_

"Why Did You Waste My Time" Screamin' Jay Hawkins _The Whamee 1953-55_

interview with performance artist Jay Arvis

"Sin Of Wasting Time" Zander Schloss _Song About Songs_

"Waste Your Time" Jackson+Sellers _Breaking Point_

"I Wanna Waste My Time On You" The Crookes _Lucky Ones_

"I'm Just Wasting My Time" J.D. Short _The Sonet Blues Story: A Last Legacy Of Blues From A Pioneer Delta Singer_

"I Ain't Gonna Waste My Time" Wiley Barkdull _Hillbilly Rock_

interview with author Dan Spock about his book Wasting Time In Fandom

"I'm Wasting Your Time & You're Wasting Mine" Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton _Porter Wayne & Dolly Rebecca_

"Waste Of Time (feat. Therese Johansson)" Elias & The Wizzkids _Just Do It!_

"Time's A Wasting" The Fuller Brothers _The Golden Torch Story (A Collection Of 30 Classic Northern Soul Shakers)_

"Time Wasting" Baby Charles _Soulshaker Vol. 5_

"Am I Wasting My Time" Eli "Paperboy" Reed & The True Loves _Roll With You_

interview with heavy metal guy Robin Shank about his Youtube series "Wasted Time"

"Don't Waste My Time" The Sinceres _The Deepest Soul_

"Wastin' My Time" Creation _Creation_

"Baby, Baby Don't Waste My Time" Gladys Knight & The Pips _Touch_

"Don't Waste My Time" Jerry Washington _The Northern Soul Of Miami_

"I Love Wastin' Time With You" The Brecker Brothers _Back To Back_

interview with columnist Millicent Post about her book Don't Waste Time

"Don't Waste My Time" The Daughters Of Eve _Girls In The Garage Vol. 1_

"Waste Of Time" The Turncoats _The Fridge Freezer EP_

"Why Waste Time" Caramel _Punkpopgaragemods_

"Waste Of Time" Dropper _Don't Talk To Me_

"The Time You Wasted" Chicpeas _Summerbaby EP_

conclusion & goodbye

"Don't Waste Your Time" The Five Stairsteps _The Five Stairsteps_

"Waste Of Time" Eddie Spaghetti _The Value Of Nothing_

"Don't Waste My Time" Cy Dune _Against Face_

"Wasting Time" The Glazzies _Kill Me Kindly_

Whither Wasting Time?

(image from here)

Self Help Radio's theme this week is "wasting time."  Is it because listening to Self Help Radio is a waste of time?  Or is it because in general listening to the radio is a waste of time?  Could it be that listening itself is a waste of time, what with all the thoughts that consume you that demand your complete attention?

Further, what possibly can be accomplished listening a show about wasting time?  Isn't that by definition wasting time?  Aren't we at this moment wasting time just talking about wasting time, promoting something that promises to focus exclusively on wasting time?  Do we have the time to waste wasting time on something that's going to be three hours of wasting time?

Please waste your time answering all seven questions above in "short response" format - no more than a paragraph please - & have your papers ready to turn in when the show airs, tonight from midnight to 3am, on 90.7fm in Portland, & online at kboo.fm.  We will accept your assignments no later than 2:50am.  & as for grades, well, I probably won't waste time grading them.  Sorry.

Preface To Wasting Time: Top Wastes Of Time

(Wish I knew where I found this! Schulz would not be pleased.)

We conducted an informal poll amongst ourselves, my pets & I, to determine things we do that are a waste of time.  These are they, in no particular order, because it was hard enough agreeing on the whole thing with them, I didn't dare try to rank them.

The first two: Interacting with the cats (say the dogs)/Tolerating the dogs (say the cats).

They're mortal enemies & pretending anything different is, according to them, a waste of time.

Next: trying to get one's life organized.

What a waste of time!  Just put post-it notes everywhere & hope they don't fly away.  Spending hours each week to organize an online calendar is a waste of time.  The pets ask me what time is, anyway.

Next: doing anything other than eating meals.

It was unanimous that the time spent between eating, sometimes including sleep, is a waste of time.  I am aware that if I ate all the time, it would lead me to be even more unhealthy than I already am, so I do my best not to eat all the time, but this logic is lost on the animals.  Who tell me at the moment they are fucking hungry.

Plus: making radio shows.

Yes, I have fun doing this, but virtually no one listens to the radio shows I make, & almost certainly they find when they listen it's a waste of time, so naturally I am wasting an extraordinary amount of time putting these fuckers together.

Penultimately: writing in this blog.

If no one listens to my shows, a negative amount of people don't read this blog.  It's true!  No one has read my last two entries.  Perhaps no one will read this one.  It certainly feels like a waste of time.

Finally: everything but eating & sleeping.

The animals talked it over, & they've decided that everything but eating & sleeping is a waste of time.  So I need to feed them now because they need their twelve hours' beauty sleep.

The Welcome Back

On August 13, 2016, we'd been back in Texas for less than two weeks.  It had not been a happy return - my wife hated the house we rented & we were unaccustomed to the heat - the high on August 13, 2016 (which was also a Saturday) was 95 degrees.  We had gotten into the habit of waking early to walk the dogs before the heat became too punishing - & the concrete too hot for their delicate paws.

But one thing I noticed - even more than in Kentucky - was the gun culture.  Not only would I see more people carrying guns - you know, in holsters, on their belts - but there were constant threats of gun violence, like the one above, taken on this day in 2016 - it's trying to be cutesy, but it's actually terrifying.  "We don't call 911."  Not even if someone in the house is having a health emergency?  You just shoot them?

We were both hopeful things would work out in Texas.  I was hoping to help a little with my mother, who was still living alone.  My wife was hoping she'd enjoy her new department.  We both were glad to leave Kentucky, a place which we enjoyed living in but was, you know, Kentucky.  We were willing to try.  & to be fair, we gave it almost three years.  Fort Worth did not deserve three years of my life.

Spring Was Lovely This Year

Over on my personal Facebook page but also on the Self Help Radio Tumblr I've been sharing some of the lovely pictures of spring that I took this year.  It's a bit dry in Portland town these days, it's nice to go back & see some of the pretty things that populated my walks starting in late February.  Enjoy a few of these:

Maybe more soon?

Self Help Radio 080922: Attics

What might happen on a radio show about attics?  I mean, you know, besides all the songs about attics?  Might a phrogger be hiding in the attic above?  Might someone who cleans attics send you some cookies (ginger snaps)?  Might a friend living alone in an attic suddenly seem hopelessly out of reach?  Might a ghost call in?  Might a slam poet slam?  Might these things happen?  Might they?

Or is it "may"?  I can never remember.

Self Help Radio had a show about attics this Tuesday morning.  Sadly, it wasn't programmed from an attic.  But it was as if it had been programmed from an attic.  So.  There's that.

You can listen now at the KBOO website.  You can listen & also download the show at the Self Help Radio website.  Remember the username SHR & the password selfhelp.  Nearly everything that happened on the show is listed below.  Now.  Where's that ladder?  Hey!  Someone took the attic ladder!

Self Help Radio Attics Show

"The Attic" Woo _Whichever Way You Are Going, You Are Going Wrong_

"Attic" Swoon 23 _The Legendary Ether Pony_

"The Attic" Paul Weller _Sonik Kicks_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"With My Daddy In The Attic" Dory Previn _On My Way To Where_

"Problem Attics" The Gist _Embrace The Herd_

"Attic Room" Casiotone For The Painfully Alone _Twinkle Echo_

"Attic" Furry Things _The Big Saturday Illusion_

"The Attic" In Camera _13 (Lucky For Some)_

interview with attic cleaner Marybeth Campbell

"Attic Of My Mind" Deanna & The Here & Now Singers _Isolation_

"I'm A Dirty Attic" Cate Le Bon _Crab Day_

"Attic" Talking About Flying _Shipwreck Day (A Knw-Yr-Own Compilation)_

"Flowers In The Attic" The Jezabels _Synthia_

"Hero In Attic" R. Stevie Moore _State Of Affairs_

interview with phrogging expert Qourtney

"She Means Everything To Me" Louis Philippe _A Kiss In The Funhouse_

"Rats In The Attic" Juliana Hatfield _Made In China_

"Toys In The Attic" R.E.M. _Dead Letter Office_

"Attics" Soul Merchants _1985-1987_

"In The Attic" Attrition _Demonstro: 1982-85_

interview with attic show promoter Jarvis Giorgio

"The Attic" Van Dyke Parks _Song Cycle_

"Attic Plan" The Pastels _Illumination_

"The Attic Walk" Adventures In Stereo _Adventures In Stereo_

"Devil In The Attic (feat. MC Chris)" MC Frontalot _Question Bedtime_

"In Hope Of Witchless Attics" Alias _Habitat_

interview with my friend Chad

"Toys In The Attic (feat. The Paulette Sisters)" Dennis Regor _Toys In The Attic_

"In The Attic" Wendy Flower _New_

"The Attic" The Marshmallow Ghosts _The Marshmallow Ghosts_

"Pigeons In The Attic Room" Everything But The Girl _Like The Deserts Miss The Rain_

"Expensive Attic" June Panic _Hope You Fail Better_

interview with attic realtor Louis Zahn

"Toys In Her Attic" The King's English _Psychedelic States: Ohio In The 60s Vol. 1_

"Attic" Arcwelder _Xerxes_

"Mrs. Vaughn's Attic" Steve Cook _The Haunting Of Northwest Michigan_

"Into The Attic" Run On _On/Off_

"Parent's Attic" Carnivores _If I'm Ancient_

conclusion & goodbye

"Attic Lights" Atlas Sound _Logos_

"A Light In The Attic" Shel Silverstein _A Light In The Attic_

"Attic Fan" The ACBs _Little Leaves_

"The Attic" Smile Smile _Truth On Tape_

"Attic" Harrys Gym _Harrys Gym_

Whither Attics?

Attics are delightful & creepy. They're mysterious & a bit frightening. I wish I had grown up with an attic to play in. & I wish at some point, like in college, I had lived in an attic that was drafty in the winter & stifling in the summer.  Chatterton died in an attic, you know.

The reason for doing an attic show is because I felt it was time to return to a place - I had enjoyed making the apartment show I did a couple months back - & specifically I wondered - were there lots of songs about attics?  Plus, I had already done a show about basements a couple of years ago.

Are there enough songs about attics to fill a three hour show?  Are there interesting people I can talk to about attics as well?  Is there someone locked in an attic who needs a show about attics right now?  I can't answer the last question, but for the first two, find out tonight from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in Portland & online everywhere at kboo.fm.  Just watch out for the cobwebs.  & did you hear something squeak?

Preface To Attics: I Once Had An Attic

& it looked like that.

This was when we lived in Huntington, West Virginia, from the summer of 2009 to the summer of 2010.  It was quite a big attic - it was used by the previous owners as a family room - basically it was the third floor of the house - but as you can see, it had a wall unit for air conditioning & as far as I can remember no heating.  Plus, you know, it was the third floor of the house.  I stored my records & CDs up there & it was a fucking pain to climb two flights of stairs to get to them.  & I don't think the wi-fi worked up there either.

Initially, though, it felt kinda cool to have an attic.  I might have liked it more if I had been a kid & it was my room.

One thing, though: I'm glad it was free of bats & spiders & all that.  That might mean it wasn't quite a proper attic, but as probably the only attic I'll ever have in my lifetime, that suits me fine.
 

Three Snapshots Of August 6, 2017

Five years ago, I was living in Fort Worth, Texas.  Summers in Texas are brutal.  Possibly on our morning walk, I took this picture, which I titled, "It's Hot."

At some point that day, a ruckus in the backyard (ie, my dog Pauline barking like crazy) alerted me & caused me to come take a look.  I found a possum which I thought might be dead but also, it might be - that thing they do - when they pretend they're dead - I know we call it "playing possum" but I forget what they call it.  Anyway, here's one of them completely fooling Pauline:

Yes, I checked later - it was gone.

Finally, on this very hot day - according to the internets, the high was 99 degrees that day - but weather in Texas was quite volatile - I took this picture from our front window as the sun fell.

It's lucky to have these pictures.  August 6, 2017, was a Sunday & I have no real memories about that day.  These remind me of something at the very least.

Fire On My Street

Behold! A page from a neighborhood newspaper called The Bee, which is online here, reported on a fire that happened ON MY STREET it's true, on July 1, over a month ago.  The report in the print version is reproduced above, & my wife told me she couldn't find an online version.  She didn't look around enough, because the web version is here.

When it happened, I was a little hungover & chose to sleep through it all.  I regret it now - but in my defense how could I have known it would be the most exciting thing to happen on my street in years?  I mean, even with the fire engines & ambulances?

At this point, I'd like to focus on the fellow who wrote the article - David F. Ashton.  There is surprising little about him online.  There's a Twitter page - with no content - just this alluring photo:

Holy shit, why don't we know more about this news legend?  I regret missing him as he grilled the fire people & the local folk for his article!

Recently a moving pod thing has appeared in the driveway of the house - the garage is basically a mosaic of boards - the aluminum cans have been removed - maybe redeemed? - so it appears the renters must leave.  It's a shame.  They have a grumpy rottweiler I always wanted to befriend.

But more importantly - can I get David F. Ashton on my show?  Does he search himself on search engines?  Wouldn't that be excellent?

Self Help Radio 080222: The Middle

(I tried to get the bear right in the middle...)

Thinking about the middle things that are not represented on this show - the Middle Way (in Buddhism), the Middle Passage (in the horrors of history), the Middle Ages (maybe not as horrible as we were led to believe?), I realize that this week's show, an exploration of "the middle," might not have done too terribly good a job.  But what can we do now?  It's already happened!  & in the middle of the night!

Best be satisfied with middle schools in the middle of the road, middle names stuck or caught in the middle, the middle class finding themselves in the middle of nowhere.  I even managed to sneak in a song about the Mediterranean Sea, whose name (Mediterranean) can be understood to mean "the sea in the middle of the world."  But what we focused on most were middle children - all the guests on the show were middle kids!

You can listen to the show - maybe you should start somewhere in the middle - at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  As always, if you choose the latter, remember the username (SHR) & password (selfhelp).  Everything that happens on the show is below.

Now! To take a nap in the middle of the day!

Self Help Radio The Middle Show

"Welcome To The Middle" The Grates _Secret Rituals_

"Bump'n From The Middle" Act 1 _Act 1_

"Sad Middle" Islands _Ski Mask_

introduction & definitions

"Smack Dab In The Middle" Ray Charles _Genius & Soul: The 50th Anniversary Collection_

"In The Middle Of A Kiss" Julie London with Pete King & His Orchestra _London By Night_

"Middle Is Gold" Mates Of State _Team Boo_

"Middle Of" Melkbelly _Nothing Valley_

"Game Is My Middle Name" Betty Davis _Betty Davis_

interview with former child actor Oliver Castle, star of "The Middle Child"

"Both Ends Against The Middle" Jackie Moore _Crème De La Crème Two_

"Monie In The Middle" Monie Love _The Message - The History Of Rap_

"Lost In The Middle" Secret Shine _Under The Bridge_

"Middle Of The Road" Denim _Back In Denim_

"Middle Of The Road" The Pretenders _Learning To Crawl_

interview with middle child Tabitha Little

"Piggy In The Middle" The Rutles _The Rutles_

"Stuck In The Middle" Astropupees _You Win The Bride_

"The Message In The Middle Of The Bottom" Chaka Khan _Chaka_

"In The Middle Of It All" Arthur Alexander _Arthur Alexander_

"Middle Man" John Prine _Common Sense_

interview with therapist of middle children Maury Rovitch

"Middle Class Revolt" The Fall _Middle Class Revolt_

"Middle-Class Heroes" The Divine Comedy _Casanova_

"Middle Class Hero" Dave Derby _Even Further Behind_

"In The Middle Of The Night" Ben E. King _Seven Letters_

"Love In The Middle" Ruthie Foster _The Truth According To Ruthie Foster_

interview with middle child Christopher Bridger

"Caught In The Middle" Alex The Astronaut _The Theory Of Absolutely Nothing_

"The Loneliness Of A Middle-Distance Runner" Belle & Sebastian _Push Barman To Open Old Wounds_

"Hotel Marquis De Sade" Momus _Monsters Of Love: Singles 1985-90_

"Middle School/Quiet Coyote" Andy Beningo _Quiet Coyote_

"Middle School" Ting Tang Tina _Love Is Trippy_

interview with middle child Jeff Jarvis

"In The Middle Of The House" Alma Cogan _Hello Children Everywhere_

"In The Middle, In The Middle, In The Middle" NYS Department Of Safety _TeeVee Toons: The Commercials_

"In The Middle" Lavender Diamond _Now Is The Time_

"Middle Of Nowhere" Brothers In Law _Raise_

"Middle Of Nowhere" Hot Hot Heat _Elevator_

conclusion & goodbye

"My Middle Name Is The Blues" Abner Jay _Last Ole Ministrel Man_

"Middle Child" Sallie Ford _Soul Sick_

"Middle Of Life" Eleanor Underhill _Land Of The Living_

"Middle Of The House" French For Rabbits _The Overflow_

"Middle Eastern Potentate" The Cannanes _Witchetty Pole_

"Middle Of Next Week" The Rosehips _The Rosehips_

Whither The Middle?

(image from here.)

Tonight's Self Help Radio on KBOO has the theme "the middle."  What might that mean?  Middle of the road (as pictured above)?  Middle school?  Middle age - or the Middle Ages?  Middle children?  (Yeah, definitely that one.)  Middle names?  The Middle East?  (Probably not a lot of that.)  The middle of the night?  Caught in the middle?  Stuck in the middle?  In the middle?

All this & perhaps more, although one doesn't want to overpromise.  The middle is the average, the middle is not the extreme, so we'll play it safe & say it will be a middling show.  Fair to middling.  In fact, the show is on in the middle of the night!  & that's where the idea for the show came from.  Someone asked me if it was hard to do a show in the middle of the night & then suggested "middle of the night" would be a good theme.  & I said, "Maybe just middle?"  & the seed planted then bears fruit tonight.

In you're in Portland, it's on 90.7 fm - not really the middle of the dial, sorry - & online at kboo.fm - which might just be in the middle of the world wide web.   It's on midnight to 3am - hey! I said the middle of the night didn't I?

Preface To The Middle: Middle School

(My old middle school is no longer a middle school. Image from Gurple Marps.)

Memorial Middle School was my middle school, which I attended for three grades, 6th, 7th, & 8th, from I think 1979 to 1982.  I've talked about some of my experiences previously on this blog, I think you can search "middle school" to find those posts if you want.  I know you don't want.  I also don't want to link to those posts.

When I was in high school, I was sort of friends with my American History teacher sort of.  Ultimately I don't think he liked me much, nor understood me, & he definitely hated lots of aspects of my personality.  He took a couple other students under his wing & changed their lives - mostly I think in religious thought - but he never tried that with me.  Around the time I started at Memorial, it had recently changed the nature of the grades there.  According to this historical report:

In the 1970s the educational trend to combine grades sixth, seventh, & eighth into a middle school was instrumental in the first name change for Memorial. As a result, ninth grade students were moved to the high schools, & grade six was moved away from elementary schools. Subsequently, the name for the school became Memorial Middle School.

The reason I brought up my old American History teacher is that he hated that decision.  He felt that ninth graders - you know, fourteen years olds - should emphatically not be in high school.  They were too immature.  They were still being tossed & turned by their hormones.  I guess he was happiest when middle schools were grades seven through nine.

My own memories are that seventh grade was a particularly awful year for me.  But on the whole I don't know if I had any really good years at Memorial.  I know only one thing: teachers who choose to teach at middle schools seem to me either incredibly brave or incredibly masochistic.  We were awful, all of us.  To a child.  Our bodies were changing, no one was explaining anything to us, & even if someone had, most of us couldn't have really understood it.

When I have met middle school teachers, I always ask them, right away, "Are you okay?"  I assume they're suffering from PTSD or something.

There will be middle school songs I think on the show tomorrow.  But it won't be my focus.  It was just that the first "middle" I thought of was school - when really, you know, it should be "middle age."