Smoky 2020

In Portland two years ago today, smoke from nearby wildfires turned the skies orange.  That's a picture of the sun up there.  Being outside was like standing right next to a barbecue pit with all the smoke coming at you.  It was so unpleasant & if I recall we were trapped in the house for three days - maybe more.  We'd take the dogs out - they'd act as though it wasn't a big deal - but I couldn't be outside for very long.  When we decided to go somewhere to get food, we didn't last three blocks.

This morning I woke to a somewhat yellowish sky.  I had heard that in addition to it being quite warm - in the mid-90s - there would be smoke from nearby wildfires.  Indeed, a neighbor told me her parents in Salem had been evacuated. According to this website ("Current Wildfire Situation"), the nearest fires to me are at Hagg Lake to the west & Vitae Springs (the one threatening Salem) to the south.  It doesn't appear that they will come close to Portland, but they can apparently make the skies yellowish & smokey.

There was a gathering for a neighbor who's moving, it happened in someone's backyard a few days ago, & I innocently asked if 2020 was a fluke or if it happens regularly, if it takes a year off, why we hadn't had the same experience in a couple of years - & this morning happened.  I should learn to keep my big mouth shut.

Soon

(image from here)

The image above is from Tumblr, where many blogs are looking forward to Halloween, but when I saw it today, I thought it was a image of death reminding me that life's short.  Because it is.

When have a neighbor who's in his late eighties.  We met because he & his wife have a corner house & they were always working on their property, planting flowers, weeding, etc., when we talked by on dog walks.  They'd say hello & our dogs would be happy to see them.  The husband in particular loved our pups.

Until a month ago, he was a double cancer survivor.  He successfully beat prostate cancer at some point in the past, & recently finished chemo for a mass they discovered, which shrunk after weeks of treatment.  I guess it's been maybe three weeks since he complained of pain, was taken to the hospital, & it was discovered he had more cancer elsewhere - & he was too weak to get treated for this one.

When I go by the house now - we stop to see his wife, who updates us on his condition - I think about that moment when he was taken to the hospital because he was unwell.  Did he know it was the last time he'd see his home - the place he raised his kids, where he lived longer than I've been alive?  Because from the hospital he's been taken to hospice, from where he will leave our sad world.

We visited him there yesterday.  His wife says that he doesn't say much, but he smiled a little petting the dogs, who were very kind to him.  I confess I don't think he likes me all that much, but he adores my wife & the dogs.  We plan to take the pooches to visit him again next week if we can.

My train of thought is a little trackless, I was going to say, he's not talking much, & I wonder if it's because he knows he's dying, or if it's because he is just simply in so much pain that it takes all his attention.  Or if dying takes all one's attention.  He won't - & maybe can't - say.

The thing is, I am not generally a person who dwells on death.  I plan very poorly, I have my sights mainly set on the next radio show.  But we're approaching the second anniversary of my mother's death, & we're watching in real time as a neighborhood friend prepares to go.  It's hard not to think of such things at this point in time.

Sorry this is so morbid & a bummer.  It's not anything to do with the radio show at all.  He once told me, looking at his yard, "I don't know what's going to happen to all this when I'm gone."  He never seemed to be afraid of death, he's a religious fellow, I think he finds comfort in that.  I said, "You won't have to worry about it at that point, since you won't be here."  He said, "Yeah," & looked around.

That was really the only time he & I discussed death.  It honestly didn't seem like it was coming for him any time soon.

Self Help Radio 090622: Excitement!

The theme of this week's show was excitement & I wondered "Is a show about excitement by definition an exciting show?"  The answer is probably no, but I was excited to think I could make an exciting show just by making it about excitement.

Not being the excitable sort, I was probably the wrong person to host a show about excitement (also I'm not all that exciting) but here it is & here we are.  In addition to songs about excitement, being excited, excitation, & exciting things, I talked to four people who were excited about specific stuff - carnivals, rescuing exotic animals, renaissance fairs, & paintball, to be exact.  & also a song about being excited was ruined live in the studio.  Now doesn't that all sound exciting?

Listen to the show on the KBOO web page.
Or listen to the show on the Self Help Radio web page.

(You'll need a username - SHR - & a password - selfhelp - but you can download the show if you want!)
Everything happened on the show - the songs & the airbreaks - are detailed below.

Are you excited?

Self Help Radio Excitement Show

"Excitement" Ivor Cutler _A Flat Man_

"Excitement" Chris Stamey _It's A Wonderful Life Containing Instant Excitement & More_

"Excitement" Admiral Tibett _Excitement_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"I Get So Excited" The Equals _First Among Equals: The Greatest Hits_

"I'm Not Getting Excited" The Beths _Jump Rope Gazers_

"Mr. Xcitement" They Might Be Giants _Mink Car_

"Miss The Excitement" Maria Bamford _The Burning Bridges Tour_

"So Excited" B.B. King _Completely Well_

interview with Trevor Jarvis - who's excited by carnivals

"Sad, Free, Excited, & Empty" The Hepburns _How The Fallen Are Mighty_

"So Excited" Cola _Deep In View_

"Something Exciting" Patsy _In A Briefcase_

"Get Excited!" Pizza! _We Come From The Swamp (Tenth Anniversary Edition)_

"So Exciting" Quando Quango _Pigs + Battleships_

interview with Charlotte Twill - who's excited by rescuing exotic animals

"The Exciting Life" Julie London _London By Night_

"Too Excited" Tilly & The Wall _O_

"So Excited" Ranking Roger _Radical Departure_

"Excitable Boy" Warren Zevon _Excitable Boy_

"Don't Get Excited" Bottom & Co. _Rock Bottom_

interview with Sir Ossus Of The River - who's excited by renaissance fairs

"You Excite Me, Baby" Big Charles Green _Wild Life (& All About Love)_

"I'm So Excited" John Lee Hooker _I'm John Lee Hooker_

"Wild & Exciting" Earth & Fire _Earth & Fire_

"Don't Get Excited" Graham Parker _Squeezing Out Sparks_

"Excited (feat. Anita Lane & Kid Congo Powers)" Die Haut _Head On_

interview with Serena Williams (no relation) - who's excited by paintball

"Five Get Over Excited" The Housemartins _The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death_

"Excitement" Hard-Fi _Killer Sounds_

"I Get Excited" Mija _Desert Trash_

"Excited Ones" Guided By Voices _Crystal Nuns Cathedral_

"I Get So Excited" Ian Hunter _Ian Hunter_

Ned Dry & Captain McCheese ruin the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"

"It's So Exciting" The Exciters _The Leiber & Stoller Story, Volume 3: Shake 'Em Up & Let 'Em Roll - 1962-1969_

"The Exciter" The Reputations _Electric Power_

"I Get Excited" David Ruffin _So Soon We Change_

"Exciting" Marc Sadane _Exciting_

"Excited" The Meditations _Ghetto Knowledge_

conclusion & goodbye

"What's The Most Exciting Thing" Moondog _Moondog 2_

"Excitation" The Rear Exit _Crystalize Your Mind_

"So Excited" The Incredible Kidda Band _Too Much, Too Little, Too Late!_

"Excitement = Change" I'm So Hollow _Emotion / Sound / Motion_

"Nullerregung" Schwarze Bewegung _Schwarze Bewegung_

"Excitement" The Production Club _Excitement_

"Exciting Cut" Illicit Experiment _Early Works_

Whither Excitement?

(big promises)

Is it possible that an almost terminally-unexciting program like Self Help Radio could take the theme of excitement & make itself exciting?  Is it?

Or is it more likely that Self Help Radio might pick excitement as a theme but in the show's mostly unexciting way explore it in such a manner than it sucks all the excitement out of excitement?  Is it?

This reminds me of the days before consent when I, as a careful young lad, would ask a girl, before I kissed her, if it were all right if I kissed her.  I didn't collect data at the time, but it seemed like about every other answer wasn't quite "no" but was something like "ugh I can't believe you asked it takes all the romance out of it!"

Luckily that's not a problem anymore for the unexciting young Garys out there but perhaps there remains a group of people who dislike those of us who enjoy taking things apart to see how they work - even when we know we can't put them together again.  & perhaps that's what Self Help Radio's show about excitement will be.

But does that sound exciting?

Please listen & find out tonight on KBOO - that's 90.7fm in Portland & online everywhere at kboo.fm.  It's happening from midnight to 3am.  If it turns out to be three hours of excitement, then, I'm sure you'll be glad you tuned in!

Preface To Excitement: Outside Of My Comfort Zone

(Absolutely terrifying. It's from here.)

One thing is true: I'm not a very exciting person.  This is not meant to be self-deprecating.  It's just a fact.  I'm not high energy.  I am not the person you invite out to get the crowd amped.

Have I ever mentioned this story before?  It was a weird experience.  I got a call one day when I was doing my radio show in Huntington.  I don't know if I had ever gotten a call during my time there before.  It was a woman who was asking if I ever did live events.  Specifically, she wanted me to emcee a community event.  I don't know now if she was calling me specifically, or the radio station in general, but she appeared to have heard my show before, & she told me she liked it in the follow-up call.

The day of the event - which was in my neighborhood, so my wife & I walked over - I had a hard time finding the contact person, & also didn't quite know what my role was.  What I eventually discovered was that I would be introducing some acts for a talent show & reading information for when things like the raffle were happening.

What she didn't tell me is that I'd have a partner, a fellow who introduced himself as a poet, who was very thin & excitable, & who was really looking forward to reciting his poetry onstage.  I didn't really have an opinion about how we should do stuff, so he went out first, bounding out & getting the attention of the milling crowd.  He was the very picture of the emcee, asking for applause, & saying things like, "Do you want to hear one of my poems?"

They did.  & they loved that his poems were about Jesus.

In fact, much of the performances seemed of a religious nature.  Choirs of children sang Christian songs, dancers danced to Christian pop, & there were a couple of people - including my co-emcee - who really wanted everyone to know about their god & how this god worked in their lives & how this god had helped them.

When I went out, I read what was given to me & said a couple of things about the radio station I was at.

At some point - very early on - I realized I was redundant.  The organization was a mess & the few acts spaced out unevenly so my co-emcee took that opportunity to recite (or probably make up) poems & testify about his religious conversion.  I guess that's called witnessing.  He had done lots of drugs.  He had not been a good person.  But now he had Jesus & also poems!

Please don't get the impression there was much of a crowd - I doubt more than a hundred people attended the event, there were other things happening, including some indoors at a community center, & in general the people at the makeshift stage only came to see their children/friends/family perform & then left.  But my co-emcee enjoyed performing, & I didn't, & I figured I'd head home.

One of the reasons I did this is because my wife had walked me there, then walked down to her office at the university, & had returned.  When there was another act on stage, my co-emcee came down & my wife told him how great he was.  She said, "You're certainly doing better than Gary!"

He looked at me like I should be wounded that my wife would say such a thing.  I said, "No, she's right."  Then I asked, "Is it cool if I take off?"

This may have happened fourteen years ago, but if anything I am less inclined to be energetic or exciting in public.  Therefore a show about excitement is, as it says above, way outside my comfort zone.  Then why do it?  Maybe I'll answer tomorrow.

Helping & Donateing Rules

Three years ago today, I snapped this picture in my neighborhood.  Where we live is more densely populated than anywhere we've lived before, & so while I'm sure there were some children (not many) in our neighborhood in Fort Worth, & definitely lots in our neighborhood in Lexington, there seems to be so many more in our neighborhood in Portland.  We are actually within walking distance of at least three schools, & we see signs of kiddos - toys, for example - as well as their creativity - lots of chalk art & writing on sidewalks - & things like this.

What is the context?  I don't know.  & I'm not sure I ever knew.  But it makes me wish my mother had given me a piece of poster board from time-to-time & told me I needed to write out some random rules.  I would've had a lot of fun.  & probably would have left it out on the sidewalk when I was done for some smart-ass with a camera to take a photograph of it.

Pig Graffiti

Voila!

So... This week's show was a continuation of the Indiepop A To Z series.  I began the series way back in 2005 (after an earlier attempt) & have now finished 69 episodes.  I haven't counted but I'll bet it's now hundreds of bands & songs.  & although you can find each episode on the Self Help Radio website linked on the "Table Of Contents" page, you can't easily access them - they really should be on their own page.

& truly I'd love to have that, & I have prepared the page, I just wanted to also link to all the shows.  I thought that maybe I didn't have recordings of all the shows, but it turns out that was wrong.  I do indeed.  All except the first show, & I don't even have the playlist for that for some reason.

It's been relatively easy copying the playlists into one document.  The big challenge has been finding the original recordings & then uploading them onto the web server.  Because I delete my files from there after about a year.

See, I had the notion to reveal, today, that very page - where all 69 episodes of Indiepop A To Z (except the first one) could be accessed.  But I now have to upload a lot of shows.  So I will have to work on that before I present that page.

Instead, have a picture of some pig graffiti I took under the highway early this year.  & stay tuned!

Self Help Radio 083022: Indiepop A To Z # 69

(all images from Discogs)

Some said it couldn't be done.  Others said it shouldn't be done.  Most didn't care one way or another.  But against all odds, or at least because I haven't died yet, Self Help Radio this week finished the letter P, managed to find a few bands & musicians in the letter Q, & began the letter R.  This was Indiepop A To Z # 69!

It's exactly what you think it is, so go listen at your leisure at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  If at the latter, please use the username SHR & pass the password selfhelp for access.  You can download the show though if you want!

All the songs played are listed below in glorious alphabetical order (I hope)!

Self Help Radio Indiepop A To Z # 69
"Nag Nag" Puffin _Medium Cool EP_
"Holiday" Pullover _A Gift From Sing-Sing_
"Common People" Pulp _Different Class_

"Jesus" The Pumpkin Fairies _Love Me_
"The Motorcycle Song" The Puncture Repair Kit _EardrumsPop 100_
"Century Of Time" Punky's Dilemma _Remote Sensing_
"Mirrors" Purdey _Mirrors_
"Aspidistra" Pure _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Volume 3_

"Little Devil" The Purelove _King Pop_
"All My Happiness Is Gone" Purple Mountains _Purple Mountains_
"Not Fair" The Purple Tulips _Something's Burning In Paradise_
"That Girl" Pussy Crush _Tormenting The Emotionally Frail_
"Turn Her Down" The Pussywillows _Spring Fever!_

"Hot Bed" Pussycat Trash _Plink Plonk Pink Punk_
"Crazy" Pylon _Chomp_

"California" Quasi _Featuring "Birds"_
"Take It All Back" The Quentins _Take It All Back_
"Crumbling Town" Queue Dance _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Volume 9_

"Bluebird" The Quiet Hearts _Between Two Waves: The Second Wave_
"Ringing In My Ears" Quigley _A Kind Of Loving EP_
"Stupid Thing" Paul Quinn & The Independent Group _Stupid Thing_
"Once Upon A Day" Quinn The Eskimo _The Mountain Is A Dandy_

"Postpartum & The Albatross" Rabbit In Red _Rabbit In Red_
"Coming Like Summer" Rabbits Wedding _Coming Like Summer_
"Shanghaied!" Racecar _LemonLime Volume Two...A Pop Compilation_
"Let Go" The Radio Arts _This Morning Makes Me Okey_
"Brilliant Books" Radio Bangkok _Brilliant Books_

"The Worst Taste In Music" The Radio Dept. _Pet Grief_
"Falling Into Darkness" Radio Ghosts _Messthetics # 105: DIY 77-81 Scotland I_
"Logstar" Radioflyer _Millefeuille_
"Last Matinee" Radiolaria _The Last Matinee_
"Student Wiccans" Radstewart _Wiccans & Beatlemancers_

"SPF-100" Ragazzi _Little Darla Has A Treat For You Volume 3, Spring 1996_
"Orange Juice Star" Raggedy Ann _Periscope: Another Yoyo Compilation_
"Brighter" The Railway Children _Reunion Wilderness_
"Tom Paine" The Rain _To The Citadel_
"Carolyn's Song" Rain Parade _Emergency Third Rail Power Trip_

"Bad Luck" Rain Refrain _Bad Luck_
"Fairytale In The Supermarket" The Raincoats _The Raincoats_
"Is That Yoo?" Raining Pleasure _Try A Little Sunshine: A Greek Indiepop Compilation_
"Just An Idea" The Rainkings _Sictransitgloriaswanson EP_
"Cool Forever" The Rainpals _A New Day_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 69?

(In the name of twee, please enjoy this unbearably cute cartoon by Liz Climo.)

Ah yes, it has been four months (give or take a week) since the last installment of my never-ending series, Indiepop A To Z.  I have had five full episodes (& one partial episode) covering the letter P, & am happy to announce we will have covered it as well as I can by tonight.  I expect to be able to spend nearly the same amount of time on the letter Q.

Kidding!  I think I have like nine bands.  There are of course more than nine bands (& artists) out there whose names (last names in the case of artists) start with the letter Q (there's even a 1970s disco group called Q) but I didn't think they were influential to or part of the genre of indiepop.  Sorry fans of ? & The Mysterians!  Sorry fans of Quando Quango!

One thing I have done, which I reveal on Friday, is made good on a promise I made maybe a year ago, maybe a few months ago, but I'll say more at the end of the week.

In the meantime, enjoy the last of the indiepop Ps - Puffin to Pylon - a few indiepop Qs, & the beginning of the indiepop Rs.  That will happen tonight on 90.7fm KBOO Portland from midnight to 3am.  If you're not in our signal range, you can listen online at kboo.fm.  It will only sometimes be as cute as that cartoon above.

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 69: Under Construction

(Image from here.)

It's strange, I was starting to feel nostalgic for those "under construction" signs that used to be on every damn website in the very early days of the Web.  Then I saw the image above.  They're so awful!

What I was missing was an image I used to use which I got from an old psychology textbook which showed an old building with holes in the windows.  I probably just used Photoshop to put "under construction" on the image, but it appeared mainly on the KVRX website, which I maintained in the mid-1990s.  However, I never backed up that site, & that image is probably gone forever.  Or else I named it something else & can't find it now.

Darn it, I just thought I could find it with a different name but couldn't!

The reason I thought about this is that at one point, maybe earlier this year, I promised I would make a stand-alone page with all the Indiepop A To Z shows on it, & I'd re-upload all the episodes as well (the ones I've digitized).  But of course I didn't get to that today.  I probably did more, unimportant things.  I might be able to get to it tomorrow?

But there's no space for it currently on the Self Help Radio website, so there's no "under construction" image.  Wow, I can't believe how terrible all of those are.  Thankfully none of them are animated gifs!

August 27th Is Weird

It's been about eight years since I happened upon a digital camera & started taking pictures when I was out & about.  I've had no illusions that I was creating art or collecting historical data or whatever.  I was just taking pictures of things I was interested or amused by, & also lots of pictures of my pets, whom I love more than anything else.

Here's something strange: I took almost no pictures on August 27th. Or, maybe, I should rephrase that. If I took a lot of pictures on August 27th, from 2014 to 2021, I didn't save many of them.  Here is one of the few that I have saved:

It's from last year, & of course the context is the fact that for a couple of year right-wing fucknuts kept coming to Portland to - I dunno, "protest"? - cause problems? - who the fuck knows why they showed up.  I was never around any of these situations - didn't attend protests, didn't attempt to stop demonstrations. 

But though I realize it's futile, I am glad some people showed up & stood up to them.

That's an existentialist position, isn't it.

Perhaps it's that it's the end of the summer, perhaps I was simply not inspired for year after year, but for whatever reason, I don't take a lot of pictures on this date.  Except!  Spoiler alert!  I went for a walk in a new neighborhood tonight & took lots of pictures.  Maybe next year I'll share them.  Maybe it'll break whatever losing streak this is.  If it is.

Plans Are Like Pants

(image from here)

One of the almost certainly not amusing things I do is often deliberately confuse the words "plans" & "pants."  Like, I'll say, "I have no pants for the weekend."  Or I'll sing that Close Lobsters song* incorrectly, "Let's make some pants 'cause they can go wrong."  Oddly enough, I don't change the word "plans" for "pants."  Like, I don't say, "I spilled mustard all over my plans."  It's always "pants" for "plans."

Since I overthink most things, I was beginning to overthink this, probably after my wife stared blankly at me when I said "pants" instead of "plans," as in, "What are your pants for the weekend?"  I understood that I might not use that construction often enough for it to become familiar & even possibly endearing to her, so I explained what I meant, & she continued to start blankly at me.  But since I am used to being ignored by her (& nearly everyone else), I began to wonder (or "overthink") if I thought this dumb thing up myself or if I heard it first somewhere else.

To the search engine!  I wrote, "plans are like pants" & I got - well, I got the image above.

It's a quote from Blackadder II, episode 1.  It was said by Rik Mayall's character, Flashheart.  You can hear & see him deliver it right here.  Blackadder is a show I've watched multiple times (well, I've only watched the first season once, I didn't enjoy it that much, but the other seasons multiple times) so I have probably heard that line & laughed at it a lot.

Did it inspire my not amusing & even dumb sometimes habit of confusing the words "pants" & "plans"?  Is it fair to blame such a thing on an innocent television show from more than thirty years ago?  Isn't it a bit disrespectful of the memory of the great Rik Mayall?  To go backwards - it's certainly disrespectful, but it seems somewhat likely & I'll say that maybe it was a factor in me saying this dumb thing.

Anyway.  What are you pants for the weekend?

* I want to point out that at least one lyrics site - genius.com - has the line as "Let's make some plans 'cause they can't go wrong."  Maybe those are the correct lyrics.  But they make much more sense if they're "Let's make some plans 'cause they can go wrong."  The act of planning often helps lessen the chances of something going wrong, but it also increases the chance of something you hadn't thought of going wrong.  It seems to make much more sense to me to make plans knowing full well that they can go wrong instead of making them because you think the planning will therefore be free from any problems.  Anyway, if someone knows a Close Lobster, please tell them not to contradict me.  & add: This is what you get for not including lyrics sheets in your albums!

Self Help Radio 082322: Turquoise

(original image here.)

Here it is. A radio show about turquoise. Which is a mineral which is prized as a gem which gives its name to a color. When I was a child in the late 1970s, turquoise was quite the fashion - I seem to remember not only seeing some pieces in my mom's room but many more in the convenience store where she worked. I don't see it that much anymore. I had hoped the show might encourage listeners to come to the station & leave turquoise offerings to me. Alas, that did not happen.

What did happen was lots of turquoise songs & lots of turquoise conversations with some funny people pretending to be other people. Three hours of songs & interviews. Seriously, that should've encouraged at least one generous jeweler to drop a ring in the KBOO mailslot. Why didn't it?!?

The show is available to be listened to now & whenever (turquoise accoutrement not required but strongly encouraged) at both the KBOO web page & at the Self Help Radio website. You know at the show's website, you need a username & a password, right? Those are SHR & selfhelp respectively. It may seem like a pain but you can download the show there. Yay?  Everything that happened on the show is below.

Please enjoy. & I'll still gladly take any turquoise off your hands. I love it!

Self Help Radio Turquoise Show

"Turquoise" Ken Nordine _Colors: A Sensuous Listening Experience_

"Turquoise" Donovan _Fairytale_

"Turquoise" Gaze _Mitsumeru_

introduction & definitions

"Turquoise" The Rooks _The Quill Records Story (The Best Of Chicago Garage Bands)_

"Turquoise Tandem Cycle" Jason Crest _A Place In The Sun: The Complete Jason Crest_

"On A Turquoise Cloud" Duke Ellington & His Orchestra _The Duke Ellington Carnegie Hall Concerts, December, 1947_

"Turquoise Boy" Sonic Youth _Rather Ripped_

"Turquoise Hand" Death Of Samantha _Strung Out On Jargon_

interview with turquoise vendor Billy Gilmore

"Turquoise Days (John Peel Session)" Echo & The Bunnymen _The John Peel Sessions 1979-1983_

"Les Yeux Turquoise" Manu Chao _Siberie M'Etait Contéee_

"Turquoise" Calexico _El Mirador_

"Lady Of Turquoise" Cary Grace _Lady Of Turquoise_

"Turquoise Fins" Pere Ubu _Ray Gun Suitcase_

interview with transformative life coach JT Grounded

"Living In The Future" John Prine _Storm Windows_

"Turquoise Jewelry" Camper Van Beethoven _Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart_

"Man On A Turquoise Cloud (For Edward Kennedy Ellington)" Anthony Davis _Lady Of The Mirrors_

"Does Turquoise Work?" Eleanor Friedburger _New View_

"Turquoise Walls" Laura Veirs _My Echo_

interview with Major General Bettina Calvin, founder of Turquoise Squad

"Turquoise Blue" The Incredible String Band _No Ruinous Feud_

"Turquoise Blue" Mutton Gun _Mutton Gun III (With Wood)_

"Turquoise Blue" Marc Ford _Holy Ghost_

"Rosanna's Turquoise" Trio Globo _Carnival Of Souls_

"Turquoise Island" Axiom Of Choice _Unfolding_

interview with musician Philip Kind

"Turquoise" Babe Ruth _Babe Ruth_

"Dancing Through The Turquoise" Alex Izenberg _Caravan Château_

"Turquoise" Sam Rivers _Hues_

"Turquoise & Blue" Anjali _Anjali_

"Turquoise Dream" Sparta _Trust The River_

interview with entrepreneur Telly Fibs

"Turquoise" The Pansies _Purple Red Indigo Blue_

"The Turqoise Castle" The Dentists _Dressed_

"Turquoise House" Jim White _Transnormal Skiperoo_

"White Turquoise" Jonathan Wilson _Frankie Ray_

"Turquoise Lake" Ohbijou _Metal Meets_

conclusion & goodbye

"Turquoise Hexagon Sun" Boards Of Canada _Music Has The Right To Children_

"Turquoise" Paul Bley _Sweet Time_

Whither Turquoise?

(image from here.)

The story of a turquoise radio show is a bit circuitous but perhaps it's interesting. It begins with a memory & an unwritten policy of this dumb show.

In general, I hate general themes. Many have asked me to do shows about things like "cars" or "cities." & all that I can see is the hours before me listening to endless songs that could fit that theme. I know I don't have to do that, but I would feel weird if I just picked, you know, a couple hours of my favorite car or city songs. I want to make a diverse show & discover music too! Besides, every general theme can be broken into many more specific themes.

But occasionally something happens & I am stuck with a general theme. A few years ago, someone asked me very sweetly if I could do a show about the color green. I said sure. I kinda cheated though - I crowdsourced the songs by asking friends of mine on Facebook (half of which are deejays) to pick their favorite "green" song.  This was the result. It made the listener happy, my deejays friends got to program a show, & I didn't have to listen to three thousand green songs.

A few weeks ago, flashing on this memory (which it turns out happened almost exactly four years ago!), I wondered if there were a color which for whatever reason did not lend itself to too many songs. & for some reason I thought about turquoise. It might have been because I was listening to Heaven Up Here. In any event I settled on turquoise & began to gather tunes.

The results of that musical foraging happen tonight on KBOO from midnight to 3am. That'll be on 90.7 fm here in Portland & everywhere at kboo.fm. I guess it's Pacific time. I don't specify that enough. But it's the middle of the night pretty much everywhere in the country so what the hell.

Preface To Turquoise: Has This Ever Happened Before?

(image from here.)

This week's Self Help Radio has the theme turquoise. But why? I'll tell you that tomorrow.

Something interesting has happened however while I have been gathering songs about turquoise & turquoise things.  I have found, in almost equal number, both vocal tracks & instrumentals.  Um.  Okay.  But why is it interesting?

It's common for me these days to put instrumental tracks under my voice during airbreaks.  Usually I reserve them therefore for that.  I guess there's also a part of me that's always felt, for a theme-based show, that an instrumental is kind of cheating.  Is a song entitled "turquoise" about turquoise? I'm the sure the writer of the song would think that, but if the song has a singer going on & on about turquoise, it feels to me like that song is more about turquoise than the instrumental song.

But this turn of events feels unprecedented - I mean, I could fill more than half the show with instrumentals tomorrow! & certainly with some of the jazz tracks, they're songs I like as much as the ones with vocals. I can't say if this has happened before. I wonder what it is about turquoise that lends itself to more wordless songs than perhaps any other color?

So what I'm going to have to do is incorporate more instrumentals into tomorrow's show. Half of the songs I've found would otherwise be left behind! & that would be unfair.

Where We Met

(All images on this page courtesy of Gurple Merps)

On this day in 2001, twenty-one years ago, at a bus stop at Duval & 48th in Austin, Texas, I met the woman I would marry.  It was a very hot day & there was a small tree at the corner which we stood under to find relief from the oppressive sun.  She talked to me.  I talked to her.  We rode the bus to the University together - I worked there, she was a graduate student there.  We had no idea that we had a future together.

Unfortunately there are no pictures online of that little tree, but Gurgla Marps has pictures that go back to 2007.  That's the picture above.  Come with me, let's look how that corner has changed.

By 2009, the year we left Austin, the tree was large & gorgeous.  If there had been that much shade on that day in 2001, I wouldn't have stood that close to her, & we may never have spoken.

It charms me that in March 2011, when this picture was taken, there is a couple sitting there.  Maybe they met there too?

In May of 2013, the tree is serving as shade to a bunch of folks doubtless going to school.  I am sad to see that the folks in the house have abandoned their ostentatious cacti in the front.  I liked those.

In October 2014, the corner seemed completely happy to have that wonderful tree standing guard & looking majestic there.  But...

By August 2016, it was gone.  You can see the stump, it must have happened relatively close to when this picture was taken.  I guess it lived maybe sixteen years?  Was it just cut down?  Did some weather event cause it to break & possibly endanger someone?  I don't know.

Here's the corner in May 2018.  The yard looks zeroscaped, & the corner looks quite bare.

A little under a year later, February 2019, & it's downright bleak.  I used to joke with the woman who's now my wife that as the tree grew, our love too would grow.  I guess it's nice we didn't know it was chopped down while we were in Kentucky!

February 2021.  Grim, lonesome, sterile.

April of this year.  The wife & I just talked about how maybe the owners took down the tree to discourage people from waiting at that particular bus stop, if there were more trees at the other nearer spots.  I of course can't say.  But I find it weird that anyone would chop down a tree in its prime.  & I'm glad the little tree under which I met my love grew as beautiful as it did.  It certainly encouraged us when it was small.

Wasting Time At The Movies

(image from the IMDb)

Did you know that on lucky weeks Self Help Radio's resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about movies related to the week's theme?  It's true!  This past week, on the show about "wasting time," I challenged him to share with us some films about time travel (arguably a "waste" of time) & he responded with several films that he enjoyed which were perhaps lesser-known.

If you didn't listen, his was the first interview on the show, & you can find it at both the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website.  Then check out the following links!

Here's the IMDb keyword list he organized his viewing around.

Here is a Letterboxd list of the films he watched (which you may notice contains many of the same links I'm going to share here because I am fond of redundancy).  His Letterboxd reviews are here.

Want to see some of these movies?  Check out Chuck's YouTube playlist as well as the IMDb list of films you can stream elsewhere for free.

& to keep up with what Chuck is watching, please follow him on Twitter.  Real time commentary & reviews!

Never say Self Help Radio doesn't give you plenty of ways to waste your time!

Self Help Radio 081622: Wasting Time

We at Self Help Radio know that the world is designed to maximize the amount of time you can waste at any given moment.  With that in mind, with our show about "wasting time," we have chosen both music & interviews which on the surface may not seem as much a waste of time as you have come to expect from this show but which, when taken with the show in toto, represent a more profound waste of time than usual, perhaps too much of a waste of time, one that might cause one to reconsider one's entire life &/or seek out a new therapist.

We certainly hope, if a sincere attempt at time-wasting is what you are looking for, this one is as wasteful as your expectations of it.  If not, at least it was a waste of time, even if it wasn't the wastiest waste of time imaginable.  Reality television has everyone beaten in that competition.

Listen to this show - which I'm not kidding is quite a waste of time - at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  At the Self Help Radio website, you'll need a username (which is SHR) & a password (which is selfhelp) but you can download the show to waste your time when you don't have an internet connection.  What happens on the show is below.

Self Help Radio Wasting Time Show

"Wasting Time" Jackie Ross _Jerk & Twine: The Complete Chess Recordings_

"Wasting Time" James Phelps _Windy City Soul_

"Wasting Time" Tashaki Miyaki _Castaway_

introduction & definitions

"Wasted Time" Meshell Ndegéocello _Bitter_

"Time Wasted" Banditos _Right On_

"Wasted Time" Best Coast _California Nights_

"Wasted Time" Idle Bloom _Flood The Dial_

"Time Wasted" Shopping _Why Choose_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by the talk time travel movies

"Wasting My Time With You" The Lodger _Cul-De-Sac Of Love_

"Wasting Time" Reading Rainbow _Prism Eyes_

"Wasting My Time" Klaus Nomi _Klaus Nomi_

"Wasting Time" Juliana Hatfield _There's Always Another Girl_

"Why Did You Waste My Time" Screamin' Jay Hawkins _The Whamee 1953-55_

interview with performance artist Jay Arvis

"Sin Of Wasting Time" Zander Schloss _Song About Songs_

"Waste Your Time" Jackson+Sellers _Breaking Point_

"I Wanna Waste My Time On You" The Crookes _Lucky Ones_

"I'm Just Wasting My Time" J.D. Short _The Sonet Blues Story: A Last Legacy Of Blues From A Pioneer Delta Singer_

"I Ain't Gonna Waste My Time" Wiley Barkdull _Hillbilly Rock_

interview with author Dan Spock about his book Wasting Time In Fandom

"I'm Wasting Your Time & You're Wasting Mine" Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton _Porter Wayne & Dolly Rebecca_

"Waste Of Time (feat. Therese Johansson)" Elias & The Wizzkids _Just Do It!_

"Time's A Wasting" The Fuller Brothers _The Golden Torch Story (A Collection Of 30 Classic Northern Soul Shakers)_

"Time Wasting" Baby Charles _Soulshaker Vol. 5_

"Am I Wasting My Time" Eli "Paperboy" Reed & The True Loves _Roll With You_

interview with heavy metal guy Robin Shank about his Youtube series "Wasted Time"

"Don't Waste My Time" The Sinceres _The Deepest Soul_

"Wastin' My Time" Creation _Creation_

"Baby, Baby Don't Waste My Time" Gladys Knight & The Pips _Touch_

"Don't Waste My Time" Jerry Washington _The Northern Soul Of Miami_

"I Love Wastin' Time With You" The Brecker Brothers _Back To Back_

interview with columnist Millicent Post about her book Don't Waste Time

"Don't Waste My Time" The Daughters Of Eve _Girls In The Garage Vol. 1_

"Waste Of Time" The Turncoats _The Fridge Freezer EP_

"Why Waste Time" Caramel _Punkpopgaragemods_

"Waste Of Time" Dropper _Don't Talk To Me_

"The Time You Wasted" Chicpeas _Summerbaby EP_

conclusion & goodbye

"Don't Waste Your Time" The Five Stairsteps _The Five Stairsteps_

"Waste Of Time" Eddie Spaghetti _The Value Of Nothing_

"Don't Waste My Time" Cy Dune _Against Face_

"Wasting Time" The Glazzies _Kill Me Kindly_

Whither Wasting Time?

(image from here)

Self Help Radio's theme this week is "wasting time."  Is it because listening to Self Help Radio is a waste of time?  Or is it because in general listening to the radio is a waste of time?  Could it be that listening itself is a waste of time, what with all the thoughts that consume you that demand your complete attention?

Further, what possibly can be accomplished listening a show about wasting time?  Isn't that by definition wasting time?  Aren't we at this moment wasting time just talking about wasting time, promoting something that promises to focus exclusively on wasting time?  Do we have the time to waste wasting time on something that's going to be three hours of wasting time?

Please waste your time answering all seven questions above in "short response" format - no more than a paragraph please - & have your papers ready to turn in when the show airs, tonight from midnight to 3am, on 90.7fm in Portland, & online at kboo.fm.  We will accept your assignments no later than 2:50am.  & as for grades, well, I probably won't waste time grading them.  Sorry.

Preface To Wasting Time: Top Wastes Of Time

(Wish I knew where I found this! Schulz would not be pleased.)

We conducted an informal poll amongst ourselves, my pets & I, to determine things we do that are a waste of time.  These are they, in no particular order, because it was hard enough agreeing on the whole thing with them, I didn't dare try to rank them.

The first two: Interacting with the cats (say the dogs)/Tolerating the dogs (say the cats).

They're mortal enemies & pretending anything different is, according to them, a waste of time.

Next: trying to get one's life organized.

What a waste of time!  Just put post-it notes everywhere & hope they don't fly away.  Spending hours each week to organize an online calendar is a waste of time.  The pets ask me what time is, anyway.

Next: doing anything other than eating meals.

It was unanimous that the time spent between eating, sometimes including sleep, is a waste of time.  I am aware that if I ate all the time, it would lead me to be even more unhealthy than I already am, so I do my best not to eat all the time, but this logic is lost on the animals.  Who tell me at the moment they are fucking hungry.

Plus: making radio shows.

Yes, I have fun doing this, but virtually no one listens to the radio shows I make, & almost certainly they find when they listen it's a waste of time, so naturally I am wasting an extraordinary amount of time putting these fuckers together.

Penultimately: writing in this blog.

If no one listens to my shows, a negative amount of people don't read this blog.  It's true!  No one has read my last two entries.  Perhaps no one will read this one.  It certainly feels like a waste of time.

Finally: everything but eating & sleeping.

The animals talked it over, & they've decided that everything but eating & sleeping is a waste of time.  So I need to feed them now because they need their twelve hours' beauty sleep.