'Twas five days before Christmas, Self Help Radio's on the air,
But Lexington was shopping - less they could not care.
Still Gary was deejaying, playing holiday tunes
When he felt a strange presence right there in the room.
"Damn those moths & cockroaches!" he cursed, shaking his fist -
Until he thought he heard a slight "Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Holy shit! It was Santa! This could not be!
It was the last time Gary'd do radio after dropping LSD!
"I am not a figment," said the jolly old dude,
"Of imagination, as you previously construed.
I am dear old Nick, & I wanted to say
Despite your humbuggery & atheist ways
That I appreciate you & your radio shows…"
Then he put his fat finger right up to his nose
& blam! he crashed right up through the ceiling
Into his waiting sleigh - Gary was reeling.
"If that wasn't real, I'm insane," he said on the air,
"Plus he talked in rhyme - I swear I swear!"
After his show, a show no one listened to
He drove home in the cold, he was sleepy too.
But at his front door, what's this he did see?
A present from Santa - the new Fall LP!
So Gary was muttering as he bid the evening farewell
"Happy Christmas to all - but especially listeners of WRFL."
Self Help Radio on tonight from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, & also online wherever Santa may be on wrfl dot fm. Christmas tunes!
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