Saturday, May 15, 2010

Preface To What Happened?: What Prefaced?

"Preface" is one of the those words, like "ascertain," that I read & knew the meaning of long before I heard it spoken, so when I myself first spoke it, I pronounced it wrong. (Yes, I said pre-face, not prefiss.) The same with "metropolis," now that I think about it (met-ro-pol-is, not me-trop-o-lis). Or "reprise," which I pronounced like in "reprisal." (I still do, in my head.) That's the astonishing thing about reading - though you're encouraged to look words up, but many times you simply suss meanings from context &, before you know it, you've added a word to your own vocabulary that "sounds" like it "sounds" in your head & whose "formal" meaning you've never actually cracked a dictionary to read. I remember the above words because someone corrected me, just like, recently, I corrected some kid at the radio station who referred to a band (it was the La's) as "the L-A's" (like you'd shorten Los Angeles) simply because no one had ever said their name out loud to him. Who knows how many words I learned that way?

I know I am not using the word "preface" entirely correctly, because of course a preface is technically an introduction to a book or other written work, not a radio show. I beg your indulgence. I also am grateful you haven't called me on it in - what - eight hundred some odd blog posts? Your restraint is appreciated. Or are you just ignoring me? You know who also ignores me? Little robots.

In fact, I have more to say about little robots but it's time to walk to doggins. Can we talk about little robots some more later? Or should I preface that with a more general discussion about robots of all sizes?

Friday, May 14, 2010

How To Successfully Rescue A Cat In This Day & Age

Do you know how you constantly see posters people put up for missing pets? They're so heart-breaking, & I can't even imagine what the statistics are about animals lost versus animals found. I find myself so saddened by each new flyer.

About a week ago, a neighbor went around & put a flyer in everyone's mailboxes (at least on our street) for this fellow:



The flyer said he was a male Maine Coon. He certainly is a handsome fellow, yes?

Last night, after my wife had worked all day & I had been sitting around all day listening to music & gaining weight, & specifically after dinner, I said to the wife, "I missed you today. Why don't we take the dogs out for a walk before it gets too dark & you can tell me extremely interesting stories of your academic world." Maybe I didn't say that last part, but I think that's what she heard, because that's what happened.

At the end of the walk, night already fallen, I saw a tiny cat on the fence of someone's house, & said hello to it, like I do. I didn't recognize it from the flyer, but the wife did. She made me drag the boys home (which was a chore, because of course they wanted to be with their mother, & oh boy a cat!) & try to find the flyer. We put the little kit in a cat carrier & I found the craigslist entry while she walked up the street & stole a flyer from an empty house's mailbox.

We were pretty sure it was Teddy, the cat in the flyer, but we called the number & we responded to the craigslist listing. Since the story has a happy ending, you know the cat made its way home, although the owner this afternoon (she was out of town last night) was still skeptical until she saw him. Teddy himself stayed in our guest room & availed himself of room service, as he was very hungry from being out in the world for over a week.

So how do you successfully rescue a cat in this day & age? Pay attention to the flyers! Pay attention to strays! Be more like my wife, not like me - don't just say hello to neighborhood cats, but look them in the eye & say, "Didn't I see your picture on a telephone pole?"

The owner of Teddy wanted to give a reward, but I told her the only reward we wanted was to make sure he stayed indoors. I told her if we found him out & about again, we'd keep him. He was a very sweet little cat.

I'm glad he's home.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Case Of The Inflammable Pajamas!

If you want to solve this case, just remember, the words "inflammable" & "flammable" mean the same thing!

The clues are sprinkled all over this week's episode of Self Help Radio with some extra clues kinda shoved difficultly into this week's episode of Sugar Substitute. Sure, the shows purport to be parts 27 & 28 of the "Indiepop A To Z" series but surely you know that things aren't always what they seem!

You can solve the crime in no time (well, ninety minutes each) by listening to either show exclusively at selfhelpradio.net. Do it soon! Or else the bad guys get away with it!

Monday, May 10, 2010

But What If I Can't SEE Tonight?

Y'see, I had an eye exam today. I am getting older & it's getting hard to read when I am in my bed at night. So I went & during the exam, my eyes were hella dilated. If the wife hadn't brought me some sunglasses, I don't think I could've made it home in the bright afternoon sun.

It's better now, though, so I don't know what I was worried about. I do a radio show at night! It's dark! Dilated pupils are perfect for that.

Did I say tonight? I'd better get crackin'! Midnight, 12 o'clock am, WMUL, 88.1 fm in Huntington. Will you miss it? Don't worry! It'll be archived on selfhelpradio.net. I promise.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 27?

Also, since Sugar Substitute will be following, I'll be doing Indiepop A To Z # 28.

But let's talk today about motherfuckers. Because, according to my Ziggy desk calendar, that's what today is. That Ziggy, he's so outrageous. I just think, wow, that's weird, because you'd think, with the number of motherfuckers you meet all the time, that every day is Motherfucker's Day.

I can see, however, that some people might be offended by this. Bad Ziggy! Still, they might also be offended by the full story of Anna Jarvis, the West Virginian who founded Mother's Day, who came to hate how people celebrated it. (You know, like they celebrate every holiday.)

As for the indiepop stuff, look. I started it, I'll try to finish it. At least we're in the Fs. It could be worse. We could be stretching this out longer than it should be stretched out. A show every other year. Now there's a smallish chance it may one day be finished. Probably not, but still.

Onward.