Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Name Your Poison Day

June 8 is Name Your Poison Day. It got strangely warm in Portland today so the staff of the Report didn't look too closely at the day we would be reporting on, so it appears that we'll be a bit too literal on the show, reporting on poison itself. We'd be more embarrassed if we hadn't be lazing about all day sipping fruity drinks & pretending it will be like this all summer long.

The poison we name on Name Your Poison Day is poison. Listen to our report on The Dickenbock Report tomorrow, Sunday, June 8, from noon to 1pm, on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, & online at xray dot fm.

The Dickenbock Report - the antidote to poisonous mainstream news!

This Week In Self Help: June 1 2 + 3

Them grilled peppers & onions are about to get ate! While I'm eating I'll tell what I did on the radio this week.

On XRAY on Sunday June 1, it was Dare Day. I played some daring tunes. Or tunes about daring. Listen at the XRAY website. Listen at the Self Help Radio website.

There was no show schedule for the two hours before Self Help Radio on Monday night, so I played a couple hours of electronic music. KBOO doesn't archive sub shows, but you can listen at the Self Help Radio website if you'd like. Here is the Spinitron playlist.

Self Help Radio was a show about onion (hence the pic above). Listen at the KBOO website. Listen at the Self Help Radio website.

The show after Self Help Radio, Corporate Standardized Programming, showcased artists we lost in January of this year. It's the last hour on the KBOO file above, or you can listen at the Self Help Radio website.

In case you need to, if you listen at the Self Help Radio website, please note the username is SHR & the password is selfhelp.

Oh no! All the grilled bell peppers & onions are gone! Into my belly!

Self Help Radio 060325: Onions

Here you go, fans of onions - onionophiles? - a radio show about onions. Featuring lots of onion songs, fun facts about onions, & interviews with onion-related folk. I even daydream about falling asleep in a blooming onion. I don't know if that's a trademarked word. I guess it isn't!

Personally I think we take onions for granted. I for one am going to practice onion appreciation henceforth. By eating more of them! But probably not raw. Hemingway it is said ate onions like apples. Like that & in many other ways I am not like Hemingway.

Okay time to go listen to the onion show! Do so at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website (where you might need the username SHR & password selfhelp) & take a look at all the onion songs I played below.

Bon Appétit!

Self Help Radio Onions Show

"I Love Onions" Susan Christie _Your Hit Parade - Golden Goofers_

"Onions, Onions " The Farmer Boys _Flash, Crash, & Thunder_

"Fried Onions" Lord Rockingham's XI _Jack Good Presents Lord Rockingham's XI_

"Spunky Onions" Johnny Adams _Whip! Wobble & Grind! 1962-1964_

introduction & definition

"Onion Eating Mama" Cliff Carlisle _A Country Legacy Volume 1 1930-1939_

"Onion Breath Baby" Elroy Peace _Rhythm & Blues Goes Rock & Roll Volume 1_

"I'm A Lonely Little Petunia (In An Onion Patch)" Dick 'Two Ton' Baker & His Music Makers _Mairzy Doats 44 Wacky Hits_

"Don't Put Onions On Your Hamburger" The Dellwoods _Fink Along With Mad_

"The Onion Song" Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell _The Complete Motown Singles | Vol. 10: 1970_

interview with the Onion Dude

"Great East Broadway Onion Championship Of 1978" Tom T. Hall _Places I've Done Time_

"Benjamin's Giant Onion" Stackridge _Extravaganza_

"Cheese & Onions" The Rutles _The Rutles_

"The Monkey & The Onion" 10cc _Mirror Mirror_

"The Onion" Elk City _House Of Tongues_

interview with restauranteur Bradley

"The Onion Field" The Jazz Butcher _Cult Of The Basement_

"Bring Me Onions" Miles Hunt _Hairy On The Inside_

"Onion" The Mekons _Existentialism_

"Onions" Andrei Codrescu _No Tacos For Saddam_

"Magic Onion" The Lovely Eggs _This Is Our Nowhere_

interview with comedy writer Darren Borden

"Onions" The Mountain Goats _The Coroner's Gambit_

"Robert Onion" Frank Black & The Catholics _Dog In The Sand_

"Onion Soup" Vic Chesnutt _Is The Actor Happy?_

"Onion" Shannon & The Clams _Onion_

"Glass Onion" Morgan James _The White Album_

conclusion & goodbye

"Dear Onion" Guided By Voices _Strut Of Kings_

"Devils' Onions" Shriekback _Glory Bumps_

"Onions" Cults _To The Ghosts_

Whither Onions?

Self Help Radio tonight is about onions. It's frankly amazing I haven't done a show about onions yet. They're a ubiquitous vegetable. So why do it now? I'll tell you.

There's an all-organic grocery store chain in town at which I shop, I won't tell you what it's called, but it does rhyme with Schmatural Schmocers. Generally speaking I buy produce there. Recently though I've had some issues with their onions. They seem fine on the shelves, & onions tend to keep well. But the last few weeks I've brought home onions that were not fresh. I've had to throw some out.

This is not meant to be a complaint to you about a grocery store & I don't imagine the corporate office will see this - or care - but it did make me think - say! have I done a show about onions before? I checked & I had not. But I will tonight!

Midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland & online at kboo dot fm. It may be a bit pungent & may well make you cry. But I'm hoping it'll also be delicious.

Preface To Onions: I Love Onions

(cartoon by Mr. Lovenstein)

This is true: I don't think I ate many vegetables growing up. It might have been because we were poor. It didn't help that my mother worked in a convenience store & brought home mostly junk food - & when I say brought home, I meant stole. It was a weird thing that everyone at the store my mother worked at stole from there, including the owner - he pocketed a hundred dollars at the end of the day which he never claimed, so got it tax-free. But I digress.

When we did have vegetables, they were never fresh, & probably creamed, as was the Southern way. I do remember corn & green beans from cans, but if I had a sandwich I never added lettuce & I absolutely hated tomatoes unless they were in a sauce, preferably over spaghetti or on a pizza. A pizza with probably no vegetables. When I could, I ate junk food & fast food.

Which made it very hard for me when I became a vegetarian in my eighteenth year. I simply didn't know a thing about vegetables. They're not a staple in fast food. & I had never really been exposed to salads. Until I discovered other cuisines - Chinese & Indian, mainly - I think I ate nothing but potato chips, macaroni & cheese, & peanut butter sandwiches for two years.

Slowly I began to try stuff - it may have been out of necessity - including cooking for myself. The first cookbook I got had onions at the basis for most meals - stews, casseroles, etc. I began to appreciate the onion. I probably didn't appreciate the differences between the different varieties, but I knew what to buy when the recipes called for it. & I started putting them, sliced, on sandwiches too.

When my wife & I lived in West Virginia, we decided to become vegan. I had flirted with it a few times but had been too lazy to commit. My wife was desperately unhappy there, so to help cheer her up - & frankly because the vegan options in Huntington were almost non-existent - I started to cook for her. & I found my friend the onion was back & ready to serve.

Onions are a part of about half of every meal I make - sometimes more. It's nice to celebrate them with a radio show. But it's not my love of onions that's the reason for the show - not entirely. More tomorrow.