Whither Split?

One day I split in two.  Was it mitosis?  Was it meiosis?  Was it youosis?  I have noosis idea.

I said to the new me, "Now there's two of us, we can work twice as long on each Self Help Radio show!"

But I looked horrified & said, "Screw that!  There's two of us!  Now we'll have enough time to do all the things that we've been wanting to do!"

I asked, "What are all the things we wanted to do?"

I replied, "Wait.  Don't you have a bucket list?"

I said, "No.  No, I don't."

"But," I said back to me, "isn't there something we've wanted to do our entire lives?  Exciting places to go?  Amazing things to see?"

I chuckled.  "You're new," I said.  "You haven't quite remembered how frightened & defeated we are."

"Oh," I replied.  "Well."

"Want to work on this week's Self Help Radio with me?" I asked.

"Sure, I guess," I said.  "What's the theme?"

"Split is the theme."

"How appropriate!" I said.  & we both laughed.

Sad, sad laughter.