Oh no! There's a bump on my knee! Better get to Web MD!
First I have to check my symptoms.
It's asking me my age & gender. That's easy!
Main symptom? All right! "Lump on knee."
Medications? Oh, they won't let me put "whiskey." Oh well.
"Conditions that match your symptoms:
Oh no! Oh no!
My wife: "You fell down & hit your knee the other day, moron. It's a swelling. Do you see the bruise?"
Okay, adding "bruising." The same results!
My wife: "I'm going to take the internet away from you if you keep this shit up."
Oh all right. Sigh.
My wife: "& stop touching it!"