This Week In Self Help: September 26 28 + 30

Though I am not in Portland - I'm visiting San Francisco - in fact the picture of that gate above was taken in the city - my wife said, "I like ornate gates, take a picture of it" so I did - I have a moment for my weekly rundown of the radio I've done. It'll be short & sweet.

September 26. I subbed a show on XRAY. Just playing music & saying dumb stuff.
Listen at XRAY. Listen at Self Help Radio.

September 28. The Dickenbock Report on XRAY reports on National Chewing Gum Day.

Listen at XRAY. Listen at Self Help Radio.

September 30. Self Help Radio on KBOO has a show about deadbeats.

Listen at KBOO. Listen at Self Help Radio.

September 30. Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO plays all new releases.

Listen at KBOO (after Self Help Radio). Listen at Self Help Radio.

At the Self Help Radio website you may need the username SHR & password selfhelp to listen.

That was all. Back to my regularly scheduled vacation.

Self Help Radio 093025: Deadbeats

A show that neither condemns nor condones the deadbeat. It's just a lot of songs, you know.

There are also conversation & some information imparted. But mainly lots of songs. One person called in & wondered if he were a deadbeat. As we were discussing it, he told me, "You know a lot about deadbeats!" I said, "Well, I'm doing a show about them."

Listen to that show now or anytime at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. At the latter you may need a username & password - user SHR & selfhelp respectively. Lots of stuff happened on the show - most of it is listed below.

The rest of this day I will play the deadbeat.

Self Help Radio Deadbeats Show

"Deadbeat" Wyldlife _Out On Your Block_

"Deadbeat" Lightning Love _Blonde Album_

"Deadbeat" Cato Salsa Experience _A Good Tip For A Good Time_

introduction & definitions

"Deadbeat Club" The B-52's _Cosmic Thing_

"Dead Beat Descendent" The Fall _Seminal Live_

"From A Deadbeat To An Old Greaser" Jethro Tull _Too Old To Rock & Roll: Too Young To Die!_

"Deadbeat Daddy" Gungadin _Introducing_

"Deadbeat" Pardoner _Peace Loving People_

interview with deadbeat mom Nancy Dean

"Dead Beat Dance" The Damned _The Return Of The Living Dead (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)_

"The Deadbeat" That Petrol Emotion _Manic Pop Thrill_

"Deadbeat" The Ocean Party _The Sun Rolled Off The Hills_

"Deadbeat Girl" Day Wave _Hard To Read_

"Deadbeat" Mint Royale _On The Ropes_

interview with my deadbeat friend Jarvis

"Deadbeat" Charts _Love You To Death_

"Deadbeat" Prismatic Shapes _Deadbeat_

"Deadbeat Boy" Avalon Lurks _Deadbeat Boy_

"Deadbeat Shiver" Generationals _Reader As Detective_

"Deadbeat Summer" Neon Indian _Psychic Chasms_

a discussion about deadbeat parents

"Deadbeat Heart" The Graves Brothers Deluxe _Gonna Happen To You_

"Playin' In Time With The Deadbeat" Slug Guts _Playin' In Time With The Deadbeat_

"Deadbeat" A Place To Bury Strangers _Exploding Head_

"Deadbeat Party" Soho _Thug_

"Deadbeat" Revenge _Gun World Porn_

conclusion & goodbye

"Deadbeat" Lizzie No _Halfsies_

"Deadbeat Hits" Futurebirds _Hotel Parties_

Whither Deadbeats?

(image from here)

After confessing yesterday that my own father was a deadbeat, you might think I myself might be on the verge of an admission that I too am a deadbeat. But far from it! I am mostly responsible & honor my commitments - I do three radio shows a week & sometimes more. I am a bit lazy, true, but if I promise to do something, I do it. & I have financially supported myself & others - some of whom were probably deadbeats. No, this show is neither a celebration nor indictment of the deadbeat in me. Or really of any deadbeats.

It came into my head earlier this year when I was putting together my 1989 show. Two records released that year - the Fall's Seminal Live & the B-52's Cosmic Thing - featured songs with deadbeat in the title. I wondered if that might be something that would be a good theme for the show. It wasn't something I thought about until just recently when a remastered version of Seminal Live was released. I was like, Oh yeah, didn't I want to do a radio show about deadbeats? & now I shall.

Tonight from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in town & kboo dot fm everywhere. I wonder - with the show on so late - how many people who might be listening are deadbeats?

Preface To Deadbeats: Deadbeat Dad

That's an old picture of my father. I don't recognize that person. It was taken probably over a decade before I was born. When I show this picture to people who know me, they say, "You got his ears."

My father was a deadbeat dad. The Wikipedia dictionary defines a deadbeat dad as "A man, especially one who is divorced or estranged from his partner, who fails to provide monetary child support when he is legally required to do so." My father got a head start on being a deadbeat dad before his marriage ended. He proved unable to provide for his family.

Why was that? Because he was a drunk. An alcoholic. Drink began to control him long before I came along, & drink caused my mother to leave him around the time I was four years old. After the divorce he was ordered to pay child support for me, my sister, & my brothers, but he never did. My mother complained about it, but she knew he didn't have the money so didn't fight it - she despised him but didn't want him to end up in jail.

One of my greatest regrets is that I never really talked to him about his life. Not that he would've been terribly forthcoming but who knows. What I know about him I know mainly from conversations I have had with my sisters. My mother was something of an unreliable narrator - he hurt her quite deeply. The stories my sisters have told me have some degree of unreliability too - he preferred them to his sons & they returned his adoration - but neither of them - my late sister Pat or my sister Karin - had any illusions about his disease. So while I take their stories with a grain of salt, I understand they're told with a modicum of love my mother or brothers couldn't muster.

For myself, I didn't feel any resentment about the lack of child support because I don't think I knew I was owed it. My sister Pat in around 1986 or 1987 - or maybe later - negotiated a deal with my father that he would loan me some money I needed for college. I think we understood he was giving it to me, not loaning it. I certainly did not worry about repaying it. I simply had to go to his tiny apartment - he had been sober for some years at this point - to get it myself. It was a weird & uncomfortable moment.

My father died in 1991. He was 64. Years of alcohol abuse took their toll. My fundamental feeling about him is one of regret. I simply never knew him. & I feel a little guilty calling him a deadbeat dad but. You know. By definition, he was.