Preface To Swans: These Swans, Not Those Swans

There are a few rules that I've followed from day one with Self Help Radio, & those rules are as arbitrary as the show, & they're not rules I've publicized or otherwise written out - I've just known I would do the show this way & I have.

One of them is this: the themes are about the songs, not the bands.  Or, to put it another way, I don't allow the name of the band (or any of the people in the band) to qualify for a show's theme.  For example, there was a fellow in Austin who always wanted me to do spectacularly easy themes - he once said I should do a show about "cars" - & he called in when I did a show about zombies.  "Are you going to play the Zombies?" he asked.

If the Zombies did a song about zombies, I would play them, I told him.  It seemed just too lazy to say, "Since this show is about the living dead, here's an unrelated band that happens to have the same name as today's theme, let's listen to 'She's Not There!'"

Which is my long-winded way of saying I won't be playing the band Swans during the show.  Unless they have a song about swans I don't at this moment know about.

I did one time want to do a show about songs about bands.  You know, people singing about the Beatles or what-not.  It turns out that another show the day I thought of it had just completed that show.  That was in 2002.  I am still trying to make sure there's a safe enough distance between our two shows so that it won't seem like I am copying the other show.

Oh, & I also one day will do a show about bands who have songs that are the band's name.  Like, you know, Belle & Sebastian have a song called "Belle & Sebastian."  I have hesitated because I am unsure whether I can count songs like "Bob Dylan's 115th Dream."  Can I?

Boom! goes the Boomslang

I happened to be in the WRFL offices today just in time to overhear (that's a nice way to say "eavesdrop on") a discussion about the station's annual music festival, which is called Boomslang (not this boomslang - that would be scary, but this Boomslang), & there are some exciting things happening when the event takes place in September.  Maybe I wasn't supposed to overhear  & therefore I shouldn't talk about the "unconfirmed" guests, but I can say you should keep an eye on the official Boomslang website because there might be a reason to visit in September.  I got an extra room.

If anything, one contributing factor to a visit has to be the weather.  It's been really hot (by Kentucky standards) the last few days - over 100 degrees Fahrenheit today, & I don't think it's been that hot in this region in the three years I've been here.  But I took the dogs for a walk just now & it feels fine out there.  For one, there's usually a nice breeze.  In Texas, the breezes get trapped by the dead trees, who suck the life out of them.  The boys were panty & I got a little sweaty, but 8 pm in Lexington on a late June day is different than Austin, even when the highs are the same - it's ten degrees cooler here than there at that time.  Although the humidity is the same.  So maybe it wasn't honest sweat.

But in September, ah!  There was a discussion about an outdoor event at last year's Boomslang & I recall it was decided not to have it at night because "it would be too cold."  Too cold at night!  In September.

That's a thing to like about living in the midwest.

Twitter Pimping

I just wrote this ("tweeted") on my Twitter account:


"That's it! If Canada gets reelected I'm moving to Obamacare!"


That is just the sort of hard-hitting political observational humor you'll get from me, as well as short sentences that mean not a whole lot, if you "follow" me on Twitter.  It's @SelfHelpRadio.  You can read my ridiculous twits here.


Oh!  If you go there, you'll see I have only a handful of "followers."  That is appropriate but it makes me sad.  Why don't you "follow" me?  I'm not really going anywhere, but, you know.  It's something to do.


I'm really bad at this, aren't I?

Pressure Suits Me

Finally!  A searing exposé into the high-pressure world of non-commercial radio!  Listen as the deejay plays music on an empty college campus!  Overhear in the background the sound of a computer idling with disuse!  Sense the horrible regret almost forming as the deejay tells the caller ONE MORE TIME that he's pretty sure No Doubt never wrote a song about pressure!  It may break you!  It may shake you!  It may take you ninety minutes to listen to it!

The pressure-filled songs are listed below.  Hurry, before the pressure gets too great - & I'm not even talking about the peer pressure - & listen to the show over at the Self Help Radio website.  If you must have instant satisfaction - & in this high pressure high stakes world, who has time for satisfaction that takes longer than an instant - you can listen to part one here & you can listen to part two here.

I can't take this pressure!

(part one)

"Pressure's On" Red C _Flex Your Head_
"The Pressure's On" Rudi _Babylon's Burning - The Rough & Ready Rise Of Punk Rawk 1973 - 1978_
"Pressure Zone" Beat Union _Disconnected_

"Under Pressure" Xiu Xiu _Women As Lovers_
"Too Much Pressure" Selecter _Too Much Pressure_
"Pressure Drop" Toots & The Maytals _The Harder They Come_
"The Pressure" A Tribe Called Quest _Beats, Rhymes & Life_
"The Pressure Of Life (Takes The Weight Off The Body)" Fun Boy Three _Waiting_

"Inna City Pressure" Dr. Israel _Inna City Pressure_
"Inner City Pressure" Flight Of The Conchords _Flight Of The Conchords_

(part two)

"How Much Pressure (Do You Think I Can Stand)" Roscoe Robinson _The Sweet Sound Of Success_
"Get Up Offa That Thing (Release The Pressure)" James Brown _Star Time_

"Pressure Suit" Adult. _Resuscitation_
"High Blood Pressure" Bobby Marchan & The Clowns _Huey "Piano" Smith's Rock & Roll Revival_
"Can You Stand The Pressure" Bobby Freeman _Double Shot Of Soul_
"Pressure" The Kinks _Low Budget_
"Peer Pressure" The Defekts _Red Snerts_
"No Pressure" Secret Cities _Strange Hearts_

"Pressure" Neil Young _Landing On Water_
"Pressure" Bram Tchaikovsky _Pressure_
"Of Pressure" Mirah _You Think It's Like This But Really It's Like This_
"The Intolerable Pressures Of Modern Life" The Otto Show _The Otto Show_

Whither Pressure?

Do you think you know pressure?  Do you?

Today while I was working on the pressure show for tomorrow, my computer shut down.  It wasn't just my computer - the electricity in the entire house turned off.  I went outside - fearing I might not have paid a bill recently - & everyone was walking outside, asking what happened?

The power was off for six hours.  My phone was at less than 20% battery power.  I realized late into the process I could charge it in the car but I didn't want to sit in a hot garage.  Why sit in a hot garage? We have an electric garage door opener.  Oh I figured how to open the damn garage "manually."  It didn't charge the phone fast enough.  It wasn't fun, sitting in a car.  I played sudoku.  I tried to call the power company to get information about the outage.

No one answered at the power company.  I was on hold for half an hour.  I gave up.  I tried to nap.  I read an entire issue of Harper's.

I was stomping around outside, wondering if I could drive somewhere with my computer - which had my show on it, remember - & work on it in a coffee shop with free wi-fi or something.  Then the neighbors said, "Hooray!"  I looked in one of my windows.  The ceiling fans were turning again.

Six hours!  I nearly went mad.  We still don't know what happened.  Will we ever?

Think I'll talk about this on the show?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

The show is on tomorrow morning from 7:30 to 9:00 am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  Online it's a-streaming everywhere at WRFL dot FM.  I feel a lot of pressure to put it up later in the day at the Self Help Radio website.  It's the sort of pressure that never goes away.

Preface To Pressure: High Blood

Here are some facts about high blood pressure.

One in three adults in the United States have high blood pressure.  Much of this is probably related to the fact that one in three adults is also obese.  (I think I've mentioned this before, but being obese is the notch above being overweight - & something like 2 in 3 Americans are overweight.)

I confess I have high blood pressure, & I take medication to deal with it.  I'm not in the best of physical shape - I never have been - but when I found out, I stopped putting salt on my food & I gave up caffeine.  My doctor also suggested I stop drinking, to which I said, "Ho ho, you're funny!"

Most, if not all, of my siblings have high blood pressure, & I've been told it's genetic.  One of my sisters even told me how she lost a lot of weight & still had high blood pressure, all the while puffing on a cigarette.  I personally think it's probably more related to our health than our genes.

I take stumbling, half-assed steps to try to get in better shape in order to one day lose the pills, but I lack commitment & follow-through.  But I was raised by a fearful mother to take fear very seriously, & my reptile brain is kept alert by reading things like "high blood pressure greatly increases the risk for heart disease & stroke, the first & third leading causes of death in the United States."

A stroke!  Parts of your brain dying!  That should make everyone go see a doctor!

Look Ahead In Anger

There are things you can do to make sure you're not angry all the time.  I have several myself.

I don't watch local news, or any show about celebrity gossip.  Unless you count the Soup, which makes fun of shows like that but also sometimes makes me angry.

I don't listen to commercial radio.  Classic rock or pabulum rock stations ensure that shitty songs that are stuck in my head because I listened to radio when I was younger are more permanently etched in my brain; modern stations remind me how sad & soulless the music industry really is.

I mean, the same songs that I loathe now that I had to listen to over & over when I was ten are not only still being played, but if you're a ten-year-old & your parent is listening to whatever godawful radio station plays the ordure that you might see at a Grammy or American Music Awards ceremony, you're now, years later, in the same boat we all are: we know all the words to fucking Billy Joel songs.  There's got to be some way to make our parents pay for that.

I don't engage in any online discussions ever.  About two years ago I had a simple question I asked a conservative friend & she decided to respond by shitting vitriol into my eyes.  It's already a cliché that people are bigger assholes behind their screen names than they would actually be in real life.  But Christ, why even bother?  Have you ever been swayed by a rational argument on a message board?

I don't always tell people my opinion about something.  It's much easier to smile & nod while someone talks to you about a transcendent experience at something they did which was so obviously horrible that you wouldn't wish Gitmo detainees to experience it.  Oh, & I hope they do the same for me.

I do try not to be so negative.  I try not to say "don't" all the time.  Especially in lists.

I mean...  Oh hell.

But Is It Art?

I had to sit at a table today while incoming freshmen & freshwomen were accompanied by their always-embarrassing parents during - I guess it's orientation? - & student groups were showing off what they were & what they do.  I was of course at the WRFL table.  We had very little swag - unlike the Student Government table next to us which was giving away UK sunglasses, lip balm, & even hand sanitizer.  That was popular with the always-embarrassing parents.  They scorned us for not even having a pen to snag!

Really, there were horrible-looking women from some holler in Kentucky with bags just throwing things in them as if it were some kind of Halloween buffet.

The thing is, incoming students at this or any other university are not very likely to even know what radio is.  When my co-tabler, the station's Program Manager, told a parent we played "alternative music," the parent turned to his couldn't-have-cared-less kid & said, "You like alternative music, right?  You listen to that channel on Sirius!"

I'm not really in any position to advise the station on how to do outreach but it was a big waste of time. It's best to either have a station-centric event - which could have food or music or some other kind of incentive or enticement - or to let people find the station on their own.  Radio is not something kids really think about.

This made me think of a friend I have recently reconnected with.  When he knew me, I wanted to be a writer.  If you've read any part of this blog, you have had the same realization that I did many years ago: I'm not very good at it.  He seemed to think that me saying, "I'm not a very good writer," was some manifestation of low self-esteem, & tried to tell me that, no, I was a good writer, & I inspired him as well!

(This conversation was all texted, by the way.  What a shitty way to communicate.)

I shut him up by saying, "I never loved writing like I love radio.  Radio is my art form."

If radio is an art form - it may not be, but it can be a means of expressing oneself - it's certainly becoming something as rare as the fine arts of sculpture & painting & etc.  Which is why the WRFL table at the college orientation wasn't very successful - it was as successful as someone in a beret wearing a smock asking people to join a sculptor's club would be.

I think you can teach people to be tolerably good deejays, but you can't teach them to love & appreciate good music.  I know that fully 99.9% of the people in that building at any given time had terrible taste in music.  & that's because 99.9% of everyone has terrible taste in music.  Have you heard what people like recently?

She Said What?

What did she say?  Did anyone get that?  Should I have been listening?  Was it important?  Why am I asking you?  Did you even hear what she said?  Don't you think if what she said was serious she should've said it louder?  Maybe cleared her throat or something beforehand, like people do when they want to get someone's attention?  Will anyone tell me what she said?  Or do I have to listen to an entire radio show to find out?

Bingo!  Find out what she said at the Self Help Radio website.  If you want direct links to what she said, she said this first & then she said this second.  A preview of what she said is below.

Seriously, she said that?  Wow.

(part one)

"She Said" Hasil Adkins _Out To Hunch_

"She Said" Holly Golightly _Truly She Is None Other_

"She Said" Yeah Jazz _She Said_

"What She Said" The Smiths _Meat Is Murder_

"What She Said" The Feelies _Time For A Witness_

"She Said" Longpigs _The Sun Is Often Out_

"All The Things She Said (Peel)" Cinerama _Peel Sessions, Vol. 3: Holiday_

"He Said She Said" Bruce McCulloch _Shame-Based Man_

"She's Sad She Said" The Judybats _Down In The Shacks Where The Satellite Dishes Grow_

"She Said She Said" The Beatles _Revolver_

"She Said Yeah" Larry Williams _Bad Boy_

(part two)

"Just A Girl She Said" Dubstar _Stars: The Best Of Dubstar_

"Molly's Lips" The Vaselines _The Way Of The Vaselines: A Complete History_

"My Baby Said She Loved Me This Morning" Chris Hills/Everything Is Everything _Comin' Outta The Ghetto_

"She Said Goodbye" Billy Hambric _Nitty Gritty_

"Jennifer She Said" Lloyd Cole & The Commotions _Mainstream_

"Sylvia Said" John Cale _The Island Years_

"Melody Said" Bill Pritchard _Happiness & Other Crimes_

"Ooh, She Said" The Wonder Stuff _The Eight Legged Groove Machine_

"She Said" Scratch Acid _The Greatest Gift_

"She Said" Red Lorry Yellow Lorry _Nothing Wrong_

"Drive, She Said" Julian Cope _Peggy Suicide_

"She Said" Gang Of Four _Content_

"She Said Go" Private Dicks _The Heartbeat Singles Collection 1978-1981_

Whither What She Said?

It's really because of this song:



But it has become a lot more!  Tune in tomorrow morning from 7:30 to 9:00 am in Lexington on the 88.1 fm frequency, or online anywhere at wrfl dot fm to find out "what she said."  I'll archive the show later at the Self Help Radio website, but what if doing that destroys some of the magic?

Assuming there is magic.  How would I know?

Preface To What She Said: That's NOT What She Said

This week's theme, "What She Said," was something I had planned to do before the wife started watching "The Office" (the American version) on The Netflix in the evenings.  Though I wasn't really paying attention - the first episodes are really just pale versions of the superior British series - I confess, over time, I got sucked in.  The characters really drew me in.  & then the wife & I scrambled to watch the entire series.  In all of this, I forgot about this show I had vaguely planned with the theme "what she said" & never even thought about it when I heard Steve Carell's character's oft-repeated punchline: "That's what she said!"

It's such a character trait that it is (spoiler alert!) the last thing the character says (or mouths, really) as he leaves the show to be with his perfect love in Colorado.

That's not on this (unfortunately unembeddable) Youtube collection of slightly out-of-sync clips from the series, featuring Carell & others using the line.

This has happened before, & it's the fault of planning things in advance - the weird coincidence of culture coinciding with my dumb little radio show.  Although to be fair, Carell left the show over a year ago - I can't recall if people use the line as much or as often anymore.

That's what I say, anyway.

The Neighbor No One Likes

There's a man in the neighborhood whom I call the neighbor no one likes, not because no one likes him, because he's very likable, but because he acts like no one likes him.  I think he might be more proud than offended to be called "the neighbor no one likes."

The other day, he asked me about the my radio show, since I mentioned WRFL.  & since Lexington is still really a small town, he asked me about people he knew at the station.  He didn't really want to hear about my show unless he had actually heard of it.  Which of course he hadn't.  But that didn't stop him from telling me about people he knew at the station.  I listened patiently & I said, "Wow, Lexington is a small town!"

That same day I was fretting about not mowing the lawn in a while.  It wasn't crazy overgrown, but it was unkempt - the sort of unkempt that invites people in beat-up pick-up trucks with lawn care equipment piled in the back to come to your door & ask to mow your lawn.  It only suffers in comparison with the well-manicured lawns that our neighbors have.

The "neighbor no one likes" listened to me & gave me his advice.  He said, "Let it grow until it's really crazy.  That'll piss 'em off."

That's why I call him the neighbor no one likes.  Maybe he's more the neighbor who doesn't care if anyone likes him.  Hey!  I know two things about him: he sits & watched fireflies in the dusk & drinks white wine while he does it.

I wrote a truncated version of this helpless anecdote on my Twitter page.  I still have hardly any followers.  I need to synch my Twitter with my Facebook.  Maybe that will encourage people to follow me.  I expect it'll end in tears.  & those tears will be mine.

Man, What A Manifesto!

I like the word sobriquet.  I've never had a nickname.  At least not one that was not derogatory, but technically, that would be an epithet, not a proper nickname.  For example, I knew a kid in middle school whose name was Larry, but everyone called him Rocko.  That's a nickname.

Interestingly, a person I see on my dog walks is named Rocco, but that's a proper Italian name & not a nickname at all.

The closest I've had to a nickname was my last name.  Because in middle school & in high school pretty much everyone had to take a P.E. class, & because the coaches in "physical education" classes called everyone by their last name, I was usually called "Dickerson" by my classmates.  These did not include my closest friends, or the high school equivalent (I am currently in touch with only a few of the people I went to high school with, &, tellingly, none of them were in my graduating class).  My teachers also called me "Gary."  But it's enough that, if someone were to say "Dickerson," I'd respond as if they called me by my first name.

What would I have liked my nickname to have been?  How the hell should I know?

I do know what I am glad it isn't.  My father, who had the awesome named Everett Ray Dickerson, had a nickname, & not a very inventive one: people (including my mother) called him "Dick."  I'm sure the word had the same double meaning at the time (it's what people have called a penis for centuries I bet) but it was common enough that, rather than being called by the lovely name Everett, my father preferred "Dick."

As did his brother, my uncle Harold.  It's true!  One time I happened to be with both of them at their work - they worked together at that point in their lives - & someone said, "Dick!" & both of them turned around to answer.  That was freaky.

The Toast Was Not Burnt

I've never been more hungry while doing a radio show.  & WRFL's toaster is on the fritz!

Delicious songs are listed below.  The show of course is at the Self Help Radio website but if you're too impatient, you can listen to the show directly by clicking the links here: part one | part two.  Make sure you have a working toaster & a lot of bread handy!

(part one)

"Toast & Jelly" Poi Dog Pondering _Poi Dog Pondering_
"Doc Clock (The Breakfast Time Friend)" Sylvia & Murray Winant _It's Fun To Eat_
"Toast" Heywood Banks _If Pigs Had Wings_

"More Than Toast" The Mr. T Experience _Big Black Bugs Bleed Blue Blood_
"She Don't Use Jelly" The Flaming Lips _Transmissions From The Satellite Heart_
"At The House Of Toast" Bob & Ray _Classic Bob & Ray, Vol. 2_
"Toast" Archers Of Loaf _Icky Mettle_
"Guava Jelly" Johnny Nash _The Harder They Come_

"Cheese & Toast" BMX Bandits _My Chain_
"Jelly" The Bagdads _Double Shot Of Soul_
"Coffee & Toast" James _The Collection_
"Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast" Pink Floyd _Atom Heart Mother_

(part two)

"Toast" Streetband _Toast_
"I'm A Poached Egg (Without Toast)" Ella Fitzgerald _Jukebox Ella_

"Scraping The Toast (with George Murphy)" Alice Faye _The Ultimate Collection_
"It Must Be Jelly ('Cause Jam Don't Shake Like That)" Glenn Miller _Glenn Miller - Army Air Force Band_
"Peanut Butter & Jelly" Beastie Boys _Hello Nasty_
"Jam Up & Jelly Tight" Tommy Roe _Greatest Hits_
"Bread & Butter" The Newbeats _Golden Classics Collection_
"Smoky Toast" Space Ghost _Yeah, Whatever_
"Crazy Ellen's Home Made Blueberry Jam" Reneri's Raiders _Lost Jukebox, Vol. 80_
"Black Raspberry Jam" Fats Waller _1936_

"Toast & Marmalade For Tea" Tin Tin _Super Hits Of The '70s: Have A Nice Day! Vol. 16_
"Jelly Dancers" Bruce Haack _Listen Compute Rock Home: The Best Of Dimension 5_
"Jelly Belly" The Electric Company _The Electric Company/Original Cast_
"Jelly Covered Cloud" Scaffold _Lily The Pink_

Whither Toast & Jelly & Jam?

I was hungry damnit!

I am writing now about the history of toast & the history of jam.  I will read about them on my show tomorrow.  You must listen to find out.  7:30 to 9:00 am in Lexington at 88.1 fm on the dial.  You can listen live anywhere (as long as you adjust for the time zone difference) at WRFL dot fm.  I will archive it later at the Self Help Radio website.

A toast to you!  With toast & jelly & jam!

Preface To Toast & Jelly & Jam: Breakfast For Dinner?

Hell yeah!

In the past couple of years I've been doing most of the cooking in the household.  It is something one needs to turn to when one is vegan & lives in a town with few vegan/vegetarian options.  I've heard of vegans who can't cook but I believe being a passable cook (if I am that) is mostly a matter of time & will.  If you want to cook something well, you probably can - but you did need to want it & you need to have the time.

I have no idea how housewives of yore - & today - manage it.  A tasty meal, night after night?  Astounding.

Being vegan, I don't eat eggs, & as such I miss one of my favorite Tex-Mex dishes: migas.  You can click the link to see what those are.  In the United States, I haven't been able to find migas outside of Texas.  Vegans often make a similar dish - really, though, they're just trying to make a version of scrambled eggs - called tofu scramble.  The ubiquitousness & mundanity of tofu scramble makes some people feel the need to update it or zazz it up.

With my knowledge of both migas & tofu scramble, I've created a hybrid which would be great for breakfast - though I make it usually for dinner.  I call it scrapple.

But wait! you say.  There's already something called scrapple - & it ain't vegetarian.

Sue me.  That's what I call my tofu scramble/migas mash-up.  I fill it full of vegetables - green bell peppers, onions, carrots, jalapeños (pickled & fresh) - I add tofu & I add potatoes - I even crumble up tortilla chips in it like they do in migas - I add tomatoes at the end so they're extra fresh - mmmmmm.

There's spices & oats & nutritional yeast, too, but this isn't a cooking blog.  It's for a radio show.  Silly.

& one day I'll master pancakes & make them for dinner too!

Are You Or Someone You Love Afflicted With Homophobia

Now there's a website to help!

Hooray!

Twitster

So I listen to Marc Maron's WTF podcast a lot - not obsessively, since sometimes I don't know the guests or they're just not interesting to me - & he's always going on about Twitter.  I really don't know a whole lot about it, but it seems to work for him (of course, he's a famous comedian - I'm just a guy in Kentucky who does a little radio show) & he talks about how everyone should be on Twitter.  He's talking about comedians, not guys in Kentucky who do little radio shows.  It just kinda got into my head.

You know what that means: I've started a Self Help Radio Twitter account.  It's @SelfHelpRadio.  It's going to end badly.

I know I just started it today, but I so far have only two followers, both people who happened to read my post on the Facebook, & I've "followed" many more.  That's the trick, I am told: have a lot of people you're following, re-tweet stuff, be active.

A few years ago, pretending it was ten years before, I added a "guestbook" to my web site.  I hoped people would write nice things about my show.  But bad things happened, which I talked about here.  Eventually the guestbook had to go.

Will bad things happen with the Twitster account?  Oh, I am expecting them to.

But  I suppose I'll be trying to write clever & witty every day or so.  Do you want maybe to follow me?  If you, I'll follow you.  Seriously.  Anywhere.

A Show Full Of Ups & Downs

Self Help Radio's possibly inappropriate exploration of elevators & escalators had several double entendres of the sort one might expect when talking about things that go up & down.  Being run by a naive fellow who's really only a danger to himself, Self Help Radio apologizes for "sexing it up" on Monday mornings without properly contacting a ratings authority.  In case such things exist.

The show has its ups & downs, ho ho ho.  The show is stuck between floors at the Self Help Radio web site.  Should you wish to access the mp3 files directly, the first part is on the up escalator & the second part is on the down escalator.  The list of the songs on each level are below.

(part one)

"Elevators & Escators" PBNJ Buchanan _Ups & Downs_
"Elevator Hopper" Kid Koala _Some Of My Best Friends Are DJs_
"Elevator Love Letter" Stars _Heart_

"Elevator Man" Roy Nelson _Northern Soul Fever, Vol. 2_
"Elevator" Hannibal Buress _Animal Furnace_
"The Elephant Elevator Operator" Sesame Street _Sesame Street: Silly Songs_
"Escalator Of Life" Robert Hazard _Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Hits of the 80's, Vol. 5_
"Elevator Baby" Frankie Starr _Western Dance, Vol. 1_
"Up The Down Escalator" The Chameleons _Script Of The Bridge_

"Elevator Papa, Switchboard Mama" Butterbeans & Susie _Please Warm My Weiner: Old Time Hokum Blues_
"Elevator Girl" Rainbow Red Oxidizer _Recorded Lies_
"The Crystal Escalator In The Palace Of God Department Store" Bill Nelson _The Love That Whirls (Diary Of A Thinking Heart)_

(part two)

"I'm Gonna Be Your Elevator" The Fresh & Onlys _Grey-Eyed Girls_
"Elevator Operator" Gene Clark _Echoes_

"Escalator Over The Hill" Talulah Gosh _Backwash_
"Elevator À Go-Go" Die Fünf Freunde _Inspektor, Inspektor_
"Hit H" Bitesize _The Best Of_
"Escalator" Holly Golightly & The Brokeoffs _Medicine County_
"Elevator" Eugene Mirman _God Is A Twelve-Year-Old Boy With Asperger's_
"Hippy Elevator Operator" W.C. Fields Memorial Electric String Band _Where The Action Is! (Los Angeles Nuggets 1965-1968)_
"Elevator Boogie" Bill Johnson & His Musical Notes _The Jive Is Jumpin': RCA & Bluebird Vocal Groups, 1939-52_

"Elevator Boy" Laid Back _Keep Smiling_
"Elevator Man" British Road Runners _The Super K Kollection, Volume 1_
"Elevator" Grapefruit _Lost Jukebox, Vol. 8_
"Elevator Man" AstroPuppees _Little Chick Tsunami_

Whither Elevators/Escalators?

The place I used to work - at the University of Texas - sort of doesn't exist anymore.  It's called Batts Hall & while this is what it looks like from the front, the inside is totally different because of a renovation that happened a few years ago.  The halls I used to walk down every day for a decade no longer look the same, & the rooms in which I worked are not there.

I miss two things most of all.  One is the marble foyer that stood outside an old auditorium.  I had several classes in that auditorium when I was a UT student.  In one psychology class, I fainted.  In another government class, I slept - a lot.  The teacher had to stand at a lectern at the stage right - there was a stage there - & I enjoyed, when there were no classes, wandering through the barely-used-anymore dressing rooms backstage.  The auditorium was fine, but that foyer was lovely.  I liked walking through to get to my office.

That's all gone.

& the old Otis elevator is gone too.  Toward the end, I seem to remember seeing the Otis repairman around several times a year.  The building had four stories (I suppose it still does) & the elevator went up to the third.  I used the elevator most days - some days I felt I should take the stairs (I worked on the second floor) - & I loved one thing about the elevator: you could stop it, pry open the doors without much trouble, & then get out (after opening the doors at the floor) & leave the elevator stuck.

I know, it's a little dickish, but I only did it once.  In some cases, it's just nice to know that something is possible.

That elevator, of course, is gone.  The one that replaced it is as impersonal as all new stuff invariably is.

Speaking of impersonal, Self Help Radio is of course having a show about elevators & escalators tomorrow morning from 7:30 to 8:00 am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & you can of course listen online at wrfl dot fm.  I don't use any elevator at the University of Kentucky, but assuming I don't get trapped in an elevator, I'll post the show later on at self help radio dot net.

Going up!