Self Help Radio 060615: Start

(Original image here.

I started doing Self Help Radio on Saturday mornings today.  How did it go?  Have you ever started something & it went swimmingly the first time?  I thought so!  Give me a break.

I'm really beat because I woke up early because I was stressing about the show because even after over twenty years of doing this I get nervous because I somehow invest my radio show with feelings about my self-esteem because probably something in my childhood because isn't that how we all are?

You can listen to the show now, later - really whenever you feel like starting down the Self Help Radio road - at the Self Help Radio website.  Please pay attention to password/username information.  It's easy to find.  But you can always ask me if you can't figure it out.  I am understanding.

The playlist is below.  The summer has started for Self Help Radio!  I am easily startled!  Or wait - am I oversharing?

Thanks for listening!

(part one)

"This Could Be The Start Of Something" Ray Charles Singers _Something Special For Young Lovers_
"Stop Before You Start" Sandie Shaw _The Best Of Sandie Shaw_
"I'll Start Over" Poets In Motion _I'll Start Over_
"Starting A New Life" Van Morrison _Tupelo Honey_

"Start!" The Jam _Sound Affects_
"Just Like Starting Over" John Lennon _Double Fantasy_
"Miss The Start, Miss The End" Sparks _Indiscreet_
"Start From The Start" Nervus Rex _Nervus Rex_

"Back To The Start" Nikki Sudden _The Last Bandit: The Best Of Nikki Sudden_
"Don't Let's Start" They Might Be Giants _They Might Be Giants_
"I Started Something I Couldn't Finish" The Smiths _Strangeways, Here We Come_
"My Life Is Starting Over Again" Daniel Johnston _The Late, Great Daniel Johnston: Discovered Covered_
"Right Back Where We Started From" The Cat's Miaow _Songs For Girls To Sing_
"Starts With A Handshake" Shirts _Street Light Shine_

"Start Again" Artisans _Why Popstars Can't Dance_
"Start Anew" Céleste _The Unheard Pleasures Of Inane - Somewhere In Europe, 1972 Vol. 1_

(part two)

"Start Again" Spearmint _A Week Away_
"This Could Be The Start Of Something Small" Airport Girl _Honey, I'm An Artist_
"Start Anew" Acid House Kings _Mondays Are Like Tuesdays & Tuesdays Are Like Wednesdays_
"Good Start" The Danny Says _Summer Bliss_

"Start" The New Year _The End Is Near_
"Start To End" Sons & Daughters _Love The Cup_
"A Shaky Start" Nothing Painted Blue _The Future Of Communications_
"The Start" The Bees _Free The Bees_

"Getting Started" Ashby _Looks Like You've Already Won_
"This Is The Start" Friends _You'll Never See That Summertime Again EP_
"The Start Of Something" Voxtrot _The Kids At The Club: An Indiepop Compilation_
"Start Again" Look See Proof _Between Here & There_

"Start New" Cloud Cult _Advice From The Happy Hippopotamus_
"The Day We Started" Afternoon Naps _Parade_

Whither Start?

I am re-starting my show.  Get it?  With a show about starting.  Starting anew.  Starting again.  It'll be on at the same time, just one day later.  How exciting is that!

Perhaps it bears mentioning that I'll also be on the air the hour before with a show playing random music.  I will play - & I'm probably the first person in Lexington to do so - the brand new Close Lobsters single - their first in two years, since they reunited after over twenty years! - & I'll play the new single by Katie Smokers Wedding Party, an awesome German indiepop band.  Plus, you know, the regular stuff I play.

That starts at 6am.  Self Help Radio starts at 7am.  As I mentioned yesterday, the live stream is probably down, so you can't listen at wrfl dot fm, but unlucky folks in Lexington can listen in real time at 88.1 fm.  I will attempt to record the show & place it on the Self Help Radio website or I will present an unreasonable facsimile.

There you have it.  What a way to re-start the show!

Preface To Start: Lowered Expectations

This morning I was on the radio for three hours.  The show went to outer space & vanished into the ether because the temporary set-up at the temporary studio doesn't have a way (that I could find*) for me to record the show.  The webstream is currently down, so I couldn't record it from home, either.  This concerns me, because I require a recording of the show to put on my website for anyone who might want to listen to my show at some other time than crazy early on Saturday mornings in the Eastern Time Zone.

I stumbled around the temporary space - marveling, truly, at the great RFL volunteers who moved a radio station lock, stock, & music library across the UK campus - & also getting the stinkeye from the wary custodial staff, who apparently work all night - which is something I sort of remember from my days at the University of Texas, except it seems to me the staff there usually went home around 3am - anyway I have lost my train of thought - let me look at this paragraph again to see what I might have wanted to say - oh yeah - I stumbled around the place looking for some way to record the show, trying not to forget that I was also programming a radio show.  Nothing.  I could find nothing.

At which point, I had a few reactions.  They were, as follows:

1) Fuck this! If I can't share my radio show, I'll only do a half-assed one**.
2) Well, I guess I can do the show, & then re-record it at home afterwards.
3) If I have to re-record the show, I will, but I'm going to make sure the show that airs is as good as I can do.

This happened over the course of seconds, but, irritatingly, it happened over & over all the morning long.  I had been awake, at 3am, for around twenty hours, & there was a good chance that many things that were happening to me were some form of sleep-deprivation-induced hallucination.  Actually, I think I had one of those on the way home, in the car, but luckily I was at a traffic light.  I closed my eyes for a second.  The world looked different when I opened them.

Even now, after a few hours of sleep, it seems to me that I am viewing the world through a kind of murky film.  But I have seven animals who are constitutionally incapable of respecting my wishes.  So I slept what little they'd let me.  I wish I never gave up caffeine!

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  So - here's what looks like will happen Saturday morning:

1) I'll be on the air from 6am to 9am.  6am to 7am will be a freeform show.  I will revive my old show Sugar Substitute for the summer.
2) Self Help Radio will be on the air from 7am to 9am.  There's a very good chance the internet stream will be down, so I will just be doing the show for the Lexington community, who, I'm sure, wake up on Saturdays around 9am.  Damn it!
3) If I can't find another way to record it, I'll re-record my airbreaks for you.  So it'll be as shabby as a podcast, but will more or less be the same show that aired that very morning.

Sound good?  No?  Sound tolerable?  No?

I know!

* It might have had one, but never underestimate how dumb I am.  I'll ask before Saturday.
** Well, more half-assed than usual.

What Does WRFL Stand For?

Look at this:

In Australia, WRFL stands for "Western Region Football League."  & of course, it's not American football, it's Australian Rules Football.  The league's website is here.

How did I come to discover this?  View the crooked path I took to write today's dumb blog entry:

--> You may have heard WRFL has moved!  This is true!  The Student Center where the station has lived since its exciting birth over two decades ago is being renovated.  That meant everything had to be packed up & carried elsewhere!

--> To my shame, I didn't help with the move at all.

--> In my defense, while WRFL folk were putting things in boxes, so was I - my things, to be moved all the way to California.

--> Jesus, Gary, can't you just let it go?

--> Sorry.

--> The station moved from the corner of the Student Center to the basement of the White Hall Classroom Building.

--> The White Hall Classroom Building, says the UK web site, was built in 1969.  & boy!  Does it look like it.  See:

--> WRFL is now in the basement, next to the Post Office.  We have no windows, so we can't even see bad public art.

--> But, you know where we are now.  If you wanna stop by.

--> What does this have to do with Australian football?

--> I'm getting to that!

--> I wanted to mention that I will be on the air from 3-6 am tomorrow morning just playing songs & stuff, & I thought, "Hey! I'll announce it & somehow tie it in with you know the move."  Since it'll be my first time in the "temporary space."

--> So I Googled WRFL in Google image search to see if there were any pictures of the outside of the station at the Student Center so I could place such a photo side-by-side with a picture (like the one above) on this blog page.

--> The Western Region Football League banner came first.

--> Mind blown.

--> Anyway.  I'll be on the radio early Thursday morning.  In case, you know.

New Intro Time Again Again Again!

Every year - around this time - I make a new intro for the show.  Normally, I do it in May.  That's when the new season starts at KOOP, & it's when the summer semester starts at WRFL.  However, as you might recall, I thought I would be traveling in May, to (sigh) the west coast.  So I thought I'd wait until my first episode out there.

But!  As you know!  I'll be on WRFL this summer starting on Saturday, so I had to make a new intro.  & so I did.  Here's the intro you'll hear on Saturday morning around 7am:

The Self Help Radio 2015-2016 Intro!

&, of course, here are the intros from shows of self help past:

You can listen to the 2002 intro (my first!) here.

You can listen to the 2003 intro here.

You can listen to the 2005 intro here.

You can listen to the 2006 intro here.

You can listen to the 2007 intro here.

You can listen to the 2008 intro here.

You can listen to the 2009 intro here.

You can listen to the 2010 intro here.

You can listen to the 2011 intro here.

You can listen to the 2012 intro here.

You can listen to the 2013 intro here.

And this is the intro from the past year.

I hope you like the new one!

Last Monday Blog Entry?

Yes, last Monday blog entry.  At least for a while.  Who knows?

But why?

I'm starting a new Self Help Radio experience, which will happen now on Saturdays.

I will write five blog posts a week, per my doctor's orders*.  Since I will most probably be posting my show on Saturday afternoons, I will be posting on Saturday.  I don't post on Saturday.  Usually I don't get out of bed on Saturday.  Now I have to.  Whose fault is that?  Mine.  Shut up.

Will Self Help Radio stay on Saturdays?  Look, I don't know, I'm just glad the radio station has kindly taken me back.  If the RFL powers-that-be thought I should do SHR on Tuesdays between four & four-fifteen a.m., I'd be a grateful fuck.

We went to Dallas this past week, the wife, the hounds, & I.  The wife & I (the hounds couldn't care less) talked about the alternate reality version of us, who were settling in to living in Los Angeles.  Actually, in that alternate universe, she would be traveling back to Lexington, & I'd be living the bachelor's life in Los Angeles, which is famously known as "Bachelor City"**.

Instead, I am sitting here, writing to you, boringly discussing rearranging my schedule.  We should talk about something else.  Jeez, didn't Game Of Thrones kill last night?  Holy crap.

Okay, I have written enough, according to my doctor.  I am working on my new intro, which will premiere Saturday.  But wait!  It may premiere tomorrow, too!  We'll see.

* My doctor is a weirdo.

** I think.

I Lived In The Dallas Area The First Eighteen Years Of My Life

I believe it's rained more there in the past month than it did during my childhood & adolescence.

I hope everyone's safe!

Why There Won't Be A Self Help Radio Podcast This Week (Excuse # 4)

I know that doing the sort of radio show I do is an inherently (& obviously) narcissistic pastime, but boy! this week's blog offerings have been some serious navel-gazing shit.  My god.

All right.  If you will recall.  On Monday, I proffered four excuses to explain the absence of a promised Self Help Radio podcast this Friday.  I gave those excuses as:

Excuse # 1) I am going to visit my mother in Dallas.
Excuse # 2) I got sick.
Excuse # 3) I am a terrible planner in general.
Excuse # 4) What the hell was I thinking?  (The self-pity excuse.)

The truth is, I really wanted four excuses so I could fill up four days but it turns out that there were just three.  Maybe two, but yesterday's, though something of a stretch, was tolerably valid.  I am a bad planner.  My first couple of years of Self Help Radio were haphazard affairs.  But I am of the opinion I've never really gotten the show right, so I'm naturally hard on myself.

Anyway, the fourth excuse I pulled out of my ass.  I never had four excuses.  I plan poorly, I was going to be away a week, & I had a minor cold that was the nail in the coffin of an impossible idea.

Do you know what I've seen in Dallas that I've never really seen before?  Pick-up trucks hauling dumpsters.  Let me paint a picture.  These are rather well-used (though not beaten-up) Ford pick-up trucks with a small trailer attached on which is an average-sized dumpster.  I have seen three of these, & all of the dumpsters have been branded with the same dumpster company logo, so I assume the company has contracted out individuals with Ford trucks to move garbage receptacles around the Metroplex.  One truck had the end-times slogan "Prepare To Meet God!" painted on the truck's cab window, which made me wonder if the dumpster in tow was some kind of punctuation.

It's been humid as hell here, but it's also been more rainy here than is natural, which is good, as the lakes are filled & the city can delay the inevitable talk of drought until mid-July.  I've seen more family than I usually do, which has been a little exhausting, but I always eat well here.  I've having Ethiopian for lunch.  That means it will be a good day.

But there won't be a Self Help Radio podcast tomorrow.  My excuses are lame.  I'll get back on the horse next week.  Promise!

No really, I promise.  I do.  You can trust me...  Oh never mind,

Why There Won't Be A Self Help Radio Podcast This Week (Excuse # 3)

Are you tired of these yet?

On Monday, I whined out four excuses why there won't be a Self Help Radio podcast this week.  To remind you, they were:

Excuse # 1) I am going to visit my mother in Dallas.
Excuse # 2) I got sick.
Excuse # 3) I am a terrible planner in general.
Excuse # 4) What the hell was I thinking?  (The self-pity excuse.)

Today I will talk about excuse three.

Look.  If you're me, & you've done the same radio show thing for years & years (this October it'll be THIRTEEN years), it's natural to develop a system.  An average show takes weeks, sometimes months, to make, usually because they start as an idea & then slowly grow until I think they're ready to be an actual radio show.

& yeah - lots of shows never happen.  I can't make them happen.  They don't seem to want to happen.

& I know some of the best radio programmers grab a bunch of stuff & decide what to play the second they're on the air.  I've done that before - it's thrilling!  But I've found I can't do Self Help Radio that way.

Like, once I was doing a show about - oh I don't know.  Let's say it was a show about lotions*.  A person called & said, "I hear you're looking for songs about lotions."  I responded - I didn't want to be mean - but I responded by saying, "I have plenty of songs - why would I come up to the radio station to do a show about lotions & not have two hours of songs about lotions?"  The caller seemed a bit insulted anyway.

The point is: I have a system.  It's designed to work over long periods of time.  When it's disrupted, it just doesn't work.

Because aside from this, I don't plan well at all.  I honestly thought I could gather enough songs, make a few funnies, record some airbreaks, & get it all together in less than three days.  I thought this completely aware that, even if I worked on the show during all my waking hours, it was probably not enough time.

Seriously, what was I thinking?  I'll beat myself up about that tomorrow.

* My friends in the excellent Austin band Luxuriator actually have a great song about lotions.

Why There Won't Be A Self Help Radio Podcast This Week (Excuse # 2)

Yesterday I listed four excuses why there won't be a Self Help Radio podcast this week.  To remind you, they were:

Excuse # 1) I am going to visit my mother in Dallas.
Excuse # 2) I got sick.
Excuse # 3) I am a terrible planner in general.
Excuse # 4) What the hell was I thinking?  (The self-pity excuse.)

Today I will explain excuse number two.

As soon as I finished Friday's show (still available at the SHR website), I set to work on the next week's show.  I had already recorded an interview with David Fruchter, & I had about eighty to hundred songs I had gathered to listen to, some of which I did in fact listen to on Friday.

But I don't just work on my radio show - that would make me a duller boy than I already am.  No, I oftentimes cater to the needs of my dogs.  On Saturday we drove to Shaker Village to take the dogs on a nice long walk down to the Kentucky River.

Here's something that I've heard about living in Kentucky: if you don't have allergies when you get here, you'll probably have them before you leave.  During the walk, I sneezed a lot.  My nose ran.  I began to get the sneaking suspicion that I was, in fact, the unhappy recipient of the Bluegrass State's gift of allergies.  But as we made our way back to the car, after a delightful walk, I began to feel tell-tale congestion in my head.  Oh no!  I was getting a cold!

It made sense.  Back in Texas, I always got a cold in the spring when the temperature was erratic.  My body hates it when it's 50 degrees one day then 90 the next.  (In Texas, that happens in the summer when it's 100 outside & 65 degrees indoors.)  When we got home, I prepared myself for my personal cold remedy: take lots of sudafed-type drugs, & sleep.

I basically slept 24 hours.  How could I work on a podcast during that time?

I'm better now - my cold remedy works, & I was lucky this was a mild case & I caught it at the beginning.  But surely if I had planned better, I'd still be able to make a podcast, right?  Right?

I'll have more to say about that tomorrow.

Why There Won't Be A Self Help Radio Podcast This Week (Excuse # 1)

I am always full of excuses.  But this week, I had planned to go ahead & make another Self Help Radio podcast because - why the hell not?

There are four (4) reasons why the hell not.  I will explore them this week.  But in the interest of not keeping you in suspense (like you care), here they are:

Excuse # 1) I am going to visit my mother in Dallas.
Excuse # 2) I got sick.
Excuse # 3) I am a terrible planner in general.
Excuse # 4) What the hell was I thinking?  (The self-pity excuse.)

Today, I will talk about excuse # 1.  I am going to visit my mother in Dallas.

My mother, about whom anyone who has read this blog will know I have incredibly mixed feelings, is in her mid-80s.  When I lived in Austin, feeling as though it were somehow my duty as her son, I would visit my mother every couple of months.  Dallas is about three hours away from Austin.  I would drive up, sit for a while, perhaps take her to lunch, & then drive home.  It felt exactly like a duty.  It made her happy, I guess.  I would get Ethiopian food from our favorite Ethiopian restaurant in town & then drive home to my hungry wife.  It made her happy, I know.

Now that I live farther away from my mother, I try to make it back there once a year.  She always says, "I'm glad you're coming home," but I don't really feel like it's home.  It was barely home while I lived there - now that it's been decades since I've spent longer than a couple of days in Dallas, it's just another place where I stay in a motel & try to find good vegan food.  It just so happens my mother lives there, which is what makes it different from Memphis or Atlanta.

The upshot is, I'd have no time during the week to do a podcast (or even a radio show) because I'll be driving to Dallas, staying in Dallas, & then heading back.

Why schedule it then?  Well, my plan was to make the podcast this weekend, & then upload it on the road from wherever I am on Friday, & voila!  It's like brand new!

But other things interfered.  Stay tuned for updates as we have more excuses all this week!

Self Help Radio 052215: The Unhappy Show

(Original image here

Well, here's the first podcast I've done in a while - & the first time you've heard from me since my "last show on WRFL" - & frankly, it's a mess.  For one, I recorded my "airbreaks" last night while the wife was asleep, so it sounds exactly like I'm trying to keep my voice down.  For two, I had no idea how long I should make the show so it came out around ninety minutes long.  For three, as I mentioned yesterday, I didn't feel the same sense of urgency I feel when I have to have a show prepared to be on the air, so I cobbled it all together late, late, late.  Oh well, at least the music's all right.

Plus, I talk to Dr. David Fruchter about unhappiness!  & the Reverend Dr. Howard Gently also takes my call, & tells me why I'm so spiritually unhappy!  & the music - everything I played is listed below.

It's now at the Self Help Radio website.  Username/Password?  SHR/selfhelp!  I hope it's worth listening to.  It'll be good to get back on the radio where I can screw up in real time & it feels a lot better than muttering into a microphone at my desk at midnight.

Thanks for listening!

"Glad To Be Unhappy" Helen Grayco _After Midnight_
"Little Unhappy Boy" Nancy Wilson _Nancy Wilson/Cannonball Adderley_
"I'm So Unhappy" The Uniques _Blast From The Past, Vol. 1: Rare Teenage Classics 1960-1965_
"So Unhappy" Detroit Jr. _Chicago Urban Blues_

"Unhappy Girls" The Searchers _Sugar & Spice_
"Unhappy Boy" Twinkle _Golden Lights_
"Unhappy Girl" The Doors _Strange Days_
"Unhappy Girl (demo)" The Ramones _Subterranean Jungle_
"My Poor Unhappy Son" Tochigi _Tochigi_
"Plain Unhappy" Mussolini Headkick _Themes For Violent Retribution_

"Happy To Be Unhappy" Leroy Van Dyke _Walk On By_
"Ain't Got Time To Be Unhappy" Bob Luman _10 Years (1968-1977)_
"It Was Always So Easy (To Find An Unhappy Woman)" Moe Bandy _Honky Tonk Amnesia: The Best Of Moe Bandy_
"One Big Unhappy Family" Isaac Hayes _The Isaac Hayes Movement_
"I Hope You'll Be Very Unhappy Without Me" Esther Phillips _Anthology_

"Please Don't Make Me Unhappy" The Groove Farm _Plug (The Story Of Pop So Far)_
"Not Happy" Bruce McCulloch _Shame-Based Man_
"Unhappy Song" Lloyd Cole _Love Story_
"Lips Are Unhappy" Lucky Soul _The Great Unwanted_

"Lucky & Unhappy" Air _10000 Hz Legend_
"You Don't Have To Be Unhappy" Onward Chariots _Onward Chariots_

Whither The Unhappy Show?

I am a more or less depressive person, & I've been a little unhappy that a big life change I had been planning for for months got waylaid.  It makes sense I would celebrate it/attempt to work through it with a radio show.

I usually take much of the day Thursday to work on the show - to gather all the songs that I might play, to edit my stupid skits + fake ads, to edit the interviews with my funny friends for radio airplay - & there's a sense of urgency because I have to be on the air & I need to get things done.  Frankly, I don't much like Thursdays, since there's so much work to do.  & also: I haven't had to do it for a couple of weeks.

Tomorrow's show will be a podcast & it'll be available at noon.  Well, I hope!  My brain can't get into the groove.  I've done my recordings & I've edited most of them, but obviously I'll need to put the show together & then upload it, etc.  Putting the show together means recording airbreaks, those things I normally do as the show is happening in real time.  My brain refuses to acknowledge that I under pressure to get those done as fast as the other stuff.  Right now, it's in a kind of bargaining/denial phase that's saying, "Eh, we can do them tomorrow."  Tomorrow, when the show needs to be available by noon?!?

Let's hope it doesn't come down to the wire.  I crumble like soft rock under pressure.  I will also probably turn to drink.  Or maybe crime.  Or maybe stone, which will then crumble under pressure.  Because, let's face it, if I were a mineral, I'd be a pretty soft one.

Tomorrow! Noon! Self Help Radio website!  A very unhappy show.  Because, why not?

A Fellow Programmer Makes A Kind Offer

There's a fine programmer at WRFL who goes by the name "Uncle Foddy" (tho I call him Steve, which is all right because it's his real name).  He came to the station maybe a year & a half ago, but he has had tons of radio experience. You've probably heard him as he helps out on the Percy Trout Show.  & doubtless you've heard his show Great Great Grandmusic, which goes back as far as recorded sounds go.

He's been doing the latter show this past month on the air from seven to nine a.m. on Saturdays.  When he found out that I was staying in town, he so generously offered to let me "have" the timeslot for Self Help Radio.

I of course initially declined.  I couldn't take someone else's timeslot when I had given mine up because I thought I wouldn't be here to do it!  But he was insistent.  He does a lot of work for the station's music department & he is alternating with Kenn on Mondays on the Percy Trout Show.  He felt he could easily leave his Saturday morning gig because he had so much else to do.

How could I say no to such magnanimity?  I couldn't.  I just couldn't.  I said yes.

I feel so ridiculously selfish & greedy!  But it's so kind of Steve to offer, & the powers-that-be at the station are fine with the move, so I guess it's as done a deal as I'm allowed to have these day.  I'll be visiting my mother next week so I told them I'd take over the first Saturday in June.

& there you have it: Self Help Radio returns to the Lexington airwaves in about two weeks.  I'm not making a big deal about it, though.  I've learned my lesson when it comes to making a big deal about things.

I'm Tired/It's Entirely My Fault

I decided - after doing my last-ever late night shift on WRFL last week, to do another late night fill, this morning from three to six a.m.

Long ago, I realized that, if you're going to do a radio show at three in the morning - or at four in the morning - or at two in the morning - it's best just to stay up instead of trying to get to sleep at a normal time which, in my case, is usually after midnight.

In my later adult years, I have mastered the art of "fake naps," which is to say, if I have to, I can close my eyes for a couple of hours, but I consider them fake as I derive no real benefit from them.  But those usually work best during the day - in the case of night time hours, my brain can't correctly comprehend why the hell, if we just went to bed a couple of hours ago, we have to wake up again when almost literally everyone else is asleep.  My brain will overrule any other decision, which is a bad thing if you're supposed to be at a radio station in the middle of the night.

Staying awake is the key, so yesterday I was up from early in the morning, minus a short nap-like experience in the afternoon, until around the same time this morning, when I returned home from playing around on the radio one more time after my previously announced last time.

What did I do when I got home?  Did I go to sleep?  Oh hell no.  I waited until my wife was awake, & then went to sleep.  I slept for around two hours, when I had to wake to feed the animals.

Realizing I was quickly resembling one of the walking dead, I went back to sleep for a couple more hours, but had to wake then to record an interview with my friend David for this week's SHR podcast.  (Spoiler alert: he's hella funny!)

Back to sleep I went a little after that, but was wakened by the wife coming home from work.  I've been up since then - hell, I made dinner & went for a dogwalk!

All told, I slept around six hours today.  Which isn't that unusual for me, unless you consider that it's been maybe eight total hours of sleep in a thirty-eight hour period.  That's no healthy.  I'm tired!  But it's all my fault.

I had something important to tell you today.  But.  It'll have to wait until tomorrow.

It Rains Every Day

It seems like since we decided to stay (in Lexington) it rains every day.

Not like the rains in my home turf (in Dallas) which have carried house & families away.

But like the rains in swampy climes, as when, as a child, I spent the summer in Albany, Georgia.

I sat on a friend's porch yesterday, under some kind of giant Costco gazebo, as rain poured down.

It was noon, the gazebo leaked.  The friend was more amused than irked.

At the end of the day, the world was dry, we walked the dogs, it was cool but 85% humidity.

85% humidity & I was covered in moisture like sweat.  The wife, the dogs, unaffected.

Did I mention I saw Stephin Merritt on tour in Columbus, Ohio, on Saturday?

We drove there to see him, ate a nice dinner here, then saw the show.

Then we drove back.  Dead deer littered the roadside between Columbus & Cincinnati.

I think I have finally learned to spell Cincinnati properly.  It took four years.  To ns, one t.

Columbus has some kind of dying river coursing through it.  It smelled terrible.

Merritt was fabulously grumpy.  I had never heard him sing "100,000 Fireflies" before.  It was wonderful.

The wife & I walked the dogs this morning so we wouldn't have to worry about rain tonight.  There's a small chance it will rain.

& then, perhaps I spoke too soon, a week without rain.  Or I spoke too late, we'll have a week without rain.

I am not happy with the Mad Men finale.  I seem to be alone in this.

I did my last WRFL Sub Show about a week ago.  Then things changed.  I'll do my next last WRFL Sub Show Tuesday morning.

Self Help Radio RERUN: May 14, 2012 - Bows & Arrows

I tried to find a show I had done on May 15 - I've done Self Help Radio since 2002 - but for some reason, never a show on May 15.  I did find a show that I did on May 14, 2012 - three years ago - & it was on WRFL!  So it's not completely unfamiliar to anyone unfortunate enough to have heard this show since I came to Lexington.  (There's even an old write-up about the show on this here blog!)

I did the show on Monday mornings then, & it was only ninety minutes long.  The show is very music-heavy - I hadn't yet had the bright notion to invite my funny friends onto the air with me - & rather diverse, as it's not too terribly easy to find songs about archery, bows & arrows, stuff like that.  I didn't completely hate listening to the show - but I'm glad there'll be a new Self Help Radio next week, as it makes me really uncomfortable to revisit old episodes.  It baffles me that anyone would want to listen to my radio show!

For the next week, the show will be at the top of the Self Help Radio website.  Remember to look for login/password information!  The songs I played almost exactly three years ago are listed below.

Remember!  A new Self Help Radio next week!

(part one)

"Arrows & Baloons" Robert Pollard _Moses On A Snail_
"Cupid's Bow" Rodney Allen _Take The Subway To Your Suburb_
"Quiver (Arrows In My)" Bow Wow Wow _When The Going Gets Tough The Tough Get Going_

"William Tell Overture" Sounds Incorporated _Hazy Memories Vol. 2_
"Arrow In A Bow" The Go-Betweens _Send Me A Lullaby_
"Arrow Of Love" Six Teens _A Casual Look: The Flip Recordings_
"Fallen Arrow" Ida _Ten Small Paces_
"Arrow" Jeffrey Lewis with Jack Lewis & Anders Griffin _It's The Ones Who've Cracked That The Light Shines Through_
"The Flint Arrowhead" Johnny Cash _From Sea To Shining Sea_

"Broken Arrow" Neil Young _Neil Young Archives, Vol. 1: 1963-1972_
"Broken Arrows" Jose Gonzalez _Veneer_
"Broken Arrow" Chuck Berry _Johnny B. Goode/His Complete '50s Chess Recordings_

(part two)

"Days Of The Broken Arrows" The Idle Race _Nuggets II: Original Artyfacts From The British Empire & Beyond, Vol. 3_
"Slings & Arrows" The Wooly Ones _Scarey Business_

"Robin Hood" John Strachan _Songs From Aberdeenshire_
"Robin Hood" Dick James _Hello Children Everywhere_
"Little Arrows" Leapy Lee _Little Arrows_
"Me & My Arrow" Harry Nilsson _The Point!_
"Blue Arrows" Mick Harvey _Two Of Diamonds_
"Love Is An Arrow" Aberfeldy _Young Forever_
"Arrows" Mitch Hedberg _Mitch All Together_
"Zen Archer" Todd Rundgren _A Wizard, A True Star_

"Poison Arrow" ABC _Lexicon Of Love_
"Poison Arrow" Sonic Youth _The Eternal_
"Love Is Swift Arrows" Be Bop Deluxe _Axe Victim_

Change Of Plans

Well.  I guess I knew there was a chance of this.  But.

Before I say anything, please consult your favorite adage or proverb or quote about plans.

"Unless commitment is made, there are only promise & hopes… but no plans."

"The best laid plans of mice & men often go awry."

"Plans can fall through as so often they do."

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

& then there's this:



"Let's make some plans, 'cause they can go wrong."

Which is a goofy-ass way of saying that all the plans my wife & I have made for the past couple of months - plans to move from Lexington, plans to live in Los Angeles, plans to find a new radio station for Self Help Radio, even plans for the summer Self Help Radio podcast - they've all gone for naught.  My wife has decided not to take the job in Los Angeles for reasons both of us thought were good.

I apologize for all the bombast - for the "last shows" - for my sentimental need to say goodbye in the most maudlin of fashions.  I understand I will have to sit out the summer on WRFL - I wouldn't have left if I hadn't had a degree of certainty.  I regret that now, but it wasn't until this week that our plans, as I emphasize above, changed direction so dramatically.

I apologize to Lexington & all of Kentucky that I'll be sticking around.  Your loss is California's gain!

I'll post one more Self Help Radio "rerun" tomorrow, & there's be a new episode next week.

Preface To… Another Rerun?

I asked the other day on this radio show's Facebook page if anyone listened to the "rerun" I put up last Friday.  Honestly, if you didn't listen to it, I understand - I listened to it myself & was deeply embarrassed about the whole thing.  According to my web hosting provider, a total of four people clicked the link - which doesn't guarantee that the show was listened to.  Just that it was clicked on.  Maybe downloaded & never listened to.  Maybe download just to be thrown away!  Okay, I did that.  What is wrong with me?  Masochism.

I was hoping that I had previously done a Self Help Radio episode on another May 15th.  I mean, I've done hundreds of these damn shows, & there are only 365 days in the year*, so surely I've done a show on the fifteenth of May.  Have I?

I haven't.  I don't know what it is about the fifteenth of May, but for some reason, despite doing Self Help Radio on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, & Fridays, I've managed to avoid that date.  I did, however, do a show on the fourteenth of May twice.  One of those times, I did a show about children.  It was in 2003, & although I am certain that I have a copy of the show on cassette tape, I don't have a digital copy.  (& if I am certain that I have a copy on cassette tape, I'm not certain I know where that tape is.)

I did another show on May 14, 2012 - just three years ago, so on WRFL - about bows & arrows, & I just listened to it, & it doesn't suck nearly as bad as the previous "rerun," so I think I will feature it at the top of my page on Friday.  Will anyone listen to it?  Nah.

But I gotta do something!

* Fun fact: I've done a show on February 29.

Kids Are Clumsily Mean To Me

I was just hanging with the dogs in the backyard when I was called by the kids at the day care next door.

"Mister! Mister!" they cried.

"What?" I said.

One of them excitedly called to me, "If frozen water, if frozen water is iced water, what is frozen ink?"

Before I could try to make some sort of ridiculous response to this old childhood trick-insult, one of the other kids just screamed, "YOU STINK!"

& they ran away laughing.