Movies About Bees

(image from the IMDb)

Bees are a big part of life & naturally they show up in many movies - only some of which are documentaries!  Our resident cinephile Chuck came by this week to take with us about some (non-documentary) movies that feature bees, & it happened on the show, so - well, if you didn't listen, you can do so now at either the Self Help Radio website or the KBOO website.  I believe Chuck shows up around the end of the second hour.

Wait!  Chuck has shared some helpful links as well!

Here is the IMDb keyword list Chuck used to find films tagged with "bees."

Here is his YouTube playlist of films featuring bees.
Here is the IMDb list of some films available for free elsewhere.

Chuck commented on the films he watched on Letterboxd & we always encourage you to follow him on Twitter to keep up with what he's watching.

Chuck will be back in less than two weeks when we explore the theme "honey"!  Meanwhile - since bees are the theme - maybe help KBOO out during our Spring Membership Drive?  The bees will thank you - otherwise they may swarm!

Books About Bees

(All images from Goodreads)

This week on the show - which was about bees - our favorite librarian Carole came by to talk about books featuring bees.  The covers of the three books she talked about are above, but here are the books with links to their Goodreads page:

Gives Bees A Chance by Bethany Barton
Bee-Wigged by CC Bell
Why I'm Afraid Of Bees by RL Stine

You want to know what she said?  Why, then, listen to the show at both the Self Help Radio website or the KBOO website.  Carole's interview is at the end of the last hour.

Go ahead!  Be literary for once!  Open a book!  You can't just listen to the radio all the time!

Self Help Radio 041922: Bees (The Third Time)

Third time's the charm?

This week's episode of Self Help Radio is the third time I've explored the theme "bees," but the first time I've done so on KBOO & certainly the longest bee show I could've done.  Three hours of bee songs & five interviews too.  But wait!  There's more!  I plan to do a honey show in a couple of week so I withheld honeybee songs.  That's right - the show could've gone longer.  Because bees are awesome.

You can listen to this show now & whenever at either the KBOO web page or at the Self Help Radio web page.  It's the same show.  If you listen at the show's page, you'll need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp).  I guess you can download from the show's page.  If you're some kind of strange person.

Lots of interviews & lots of songs about bees!  All the details are below!  & remember - this is in honor of the KBOO Spring Membership Drive which has a bee theme - so if you can please donate to the station today!

Self Help Radio KBOO Bee Show
"Bees" The Hepburns _In The Mean Time_
"Bees" Animal Collective _Feels_
"The Bees (The Bees)" His Name Is Alive _Stars On E.S.P._

introduction & definitions

"Bumble Bee" The Wave Pictures _If You Leave It Alone_
"Eric The Half-A-Bee" Monty Python _Monty Python's Previous Record_
"Bee Kind To The Bugs" Culture Abuse _Bay Dream_
"Flight Of The Psychedelic Bumble Bee" The Peanut Butter Conspiracy _Spreading From The Ashes_
"When The Bees Are In The Hive" Bill Monroe _Bluegrass 1959-1969_

interview with biologist Dr. Dominic Siegel

"Me & The Bees" The Softies _Holiday In Rhode Island_
"The Birds & The Bees" Rowan & Martin _The Humor Of Rowan & Martin_
"Queen Bee" Middle Of The Road _Acceleration_
"Bumble Bee" LaVern Baker _The Complete Singles As & Bs 1949-1962_
"Beehive (feat. Tony Allen, Akenya Seymour, & Isaiah Oby)" Chicago Afrobeat Project _What Goes Up_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by to talk about books about bees

"Beeside" Tintern Abbey _Beeside (The Complete Recordings)_
"Beekeeper" Salem 66 _Down The Primrose Path_
"One Bee At A Time" Negativland _True False_
"Happy Yellow Bumblebee" Of Montreal _The Bedside Drama: A Petite Tragedy_
"Beeswing" Richard Thompson _Mirror Blue_

interview with beetronica musician Oscar Maize

"Be A Bee" Air _Love 2_
"Humble Bee" John Wesley Harding _The Confessions Of St. Ace_
"Bees" Laura Cantrell _Humming By The Flowered Vine_
"Leisure Bees" Tacocat _Lost Time_
"A Sleepin' Bee (from House Of Flowers)" Diahann Carroll _American Musical Theatre: Shows, Songs, & Stars_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about movies involving bees

"Back Biting Bee Blues (feat. Leola Wilson)" Blind Blake _All The Published Sides_
"Yellow Bee" Bertha Lee _Charley Patton: Complete Recordings 1929-1934_
"Little Queen Bee" Slim Harpo _The Best Of Slim Harpo_
"Maude Frickert Explains The Birds & The Bees" Jonathan Winters _Wings It!_
"Birds & Bees" Weaves _Weaves_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Busy Bee Boogie" Hal Serra & Carol Mark _Animal Hootenanny_
"The L.S. Bumble Bee" Peter Cook & Dudley Moore _We Can Fly, Vol. 1_
"Ohio Town Saved From Killer Bees By Hungry Vampire Bats" Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo _Strange But True_
"Beehive" Boss Hog _Boss Hog_
"Because Of The Bees" We Are Enfant Terrible _Explicit Pictures_

conclusion & goodbye

"Flight Of The Bumble Bee" Harry James & His Orchestra _Swingin' The Classics_
"Dance Of The Bees" Lisa Germano _No Elephants_
"World Of Bees (Live)" Sleepy Township _Library Records 1998-2003_

Whither Bees (Again & Again)?

Why is the show today about bees?  Bee-cause it's KBOO's Spring Membership Drive & there's a theme this time around: the hive drive.  In fact, during most of the shows this spring, Self Help Radio will explore themes related to bees - but today's show is all about the bees.

Please listen from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm here in Portland (where the bees have begun to come do their work!) & online everywhere at KBOO dot fm.

& should you feel moved to help pollinate our station - that actually sounds equal parts dirty & sexy - you can do so by visiting our donations page.  Like the workers in the hive, everyone's contributions are equally important!  Though we'd prefer you to be a worker & not a drone!

Preface To Bees: What, Again?

For the purposes of this particular post, I'm going to pretend you pay attention to my shabby radio show.  Because the mythical person who does that might be thinking, "There's going to be a show about bees?  Hasn't there already been a Self Help Radio episode about bees?  & also another later Self Help Radio show about bees?"

That hypothetical perceptive listener is absolutely true.  There was a Self Help Radio episode about bees in 2016.  I wrote about it at the time.  I thought it was a delightful episode which in no way conflicted with my previous show, from 2013, with the theme buzz.

(How bee came after buzz I can't explain.)

But then, when I was doing Self Help Radio on Freeform Portland, I was asked by the fellow whose show followed mine if I might do a show about bees.  I said I had already done one, but for him?  Ah, heck.  I'd revisit it.  I wrote about that after the show.

That deejay, by the way, took a break after that cycle, & then the pandemic hit, & you know the rest of that story.  I haven't seen or spoken to him in over two years!  I hope he's well.

This will mark the first time, I believe, I have explored the same theme three times.  Not counting holidays like Christmas or the more important holiday My Wife's Birthday.

So why do it?  If you pay attention to KBOO, you know the answer.  If you don't, I'll tell you tomorrow.

Scary!

Here's a picture from a year ago.  A bubble designed to let the dog in the yard look out turns into something terrifying when the dog barks at me.

Otherwise I haven't much to say.  I haven't really been much on the internet today.  Is anything going on?

Janey

Today I had to say goodbye to a friend I usually saw on our walks.  Her name was Janey & she was a very sweet girl, with a friendly & chatty mother who was amenable to me giving Janey treats.  Janey initially would bark when she saw or heard us down the street, but when we got to the fence, she would be a little shy.  But she very much liked treats, & the few times I ran into her when she was on walks, she was very waggish & happy to see me - treats are a powerful tool for making friends with dogs.

How old Janey was I haven't asked but I think definitely older than ten.  She suffered a little from arthritis I think & maybe was a bit overweight.  She loved behind outside & even in the rain she'd come to get treats from me.  In her bed on her covered porch, often under a blanket, she'd rise to come to the fence - sometimes dragging the blanket behind her.

This is the face I'd see, looking down at her as she waited patiently for a treat.  We'd visit her on what I call our "neighborhood walk."  Our other three regular walks take us to parks, so the walks are named after the park.  But when we visited Janey, we'd simply make a stroll through the neighborhood.  When I gave her treats, I'd also give my dogs treats, so it was a nice stopping place for everyone involved.

When we first met Janey, she was actually recovering from an attack by a pit bull.  Someone in the neighborhood had a dog which had assaulted Janey.  I don't think you can tell from the pictures but one of her ears was the worse for wear from the encounter.  It might be why she was so shy at the fence.  I told Lisa, Janey's mom, when we found out she was gone, I told her that Janey stopped being shy at some point & boldly demanded treats from me.  I felt like that was a kind of acceptance.

Janey had been feeling unwell & had a tumor on one of her organs that was causing her pain.  It's always a difficult decision to decide when to say goodbye to one of your non-human friends.  Janey was not going to get better, & it had become obvious.  Janey would've stayed around as long as she was needed.  I've experienced that time & again.  When we walked by her house today, her family was outside, all of them grieving.

One day I took a supercool picture of Janey that I need to print out for Lisa, it is how I think of her, she was a good thing with nothing but sweetness in her.  She was bigger than our dogs but she was a cuddler, & I would have gladly cuddled with her if I had had the chance.  Alas, all I got was a sweet friendship from someone who was the highlight of the walk.  I'm glad she's not in any pain anymore.  I want to remember all the good vibes she sent out.

Self Help Radio 041222: Outlaws

(original image here*)

Everyone's a little bit of an outlaw, in their own heads at least.  Here's a show for the little bitty outlaw in you.

In addition to songs about outlaws in general, the show features sets about specific outlaws: Robin Hood, Jesse James, Billy The Kid, Bonnie & Clyde.  Plus interview with experts about those & other famously infamous men & women.  It was such a celebration of criminality that for a brief moment, the show dreamed of being on the FBI's "Most Wanted" list.  Then of course it realized it would never survive in prison.

You can listen to the show at both the Self Help Radio KBOO page as well as at the Self Help Radio website.  I'm not breaking the law telling you that, at the latter site, you'll need a username - SHR - & a password - selfhelp - to listen.  But I wish I was!  All the stuff that happens on the show is below.

Let's hope this ends well.

Self Help Radio 220412: Outlaws

"Outlaw Blues" Bob Dylan _Bringing It All Back Home_

"Outlaw" Ruthie Foster _Promise Of A Brand New Day_

"So You Wannabe An Outlaw" Steve Earle & The Dukes _So You Wannabe An Outlaw_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"Ladies Love Outlaws" The Everly Brothers _Chained To A Memory_

"England 1747 Dennis Moore" Monty Python _Monty Python's Previous Record_

"Outlaw" War _The Very Best Of War_

"I'm An Outlaw" Kurt Vile _B'lieve I'm Goin Down..._

"Dennis Moore (Part 2)" Monty Python _Monty Python's Previous Record_

"Outlaw" Sarah Shook & The Devil _Seven_

interview with Robin Hood expert (?) Sir Archibald Von Poesy

"True Tale Of Robin Hood" Wallace House _Robin Hood Ballads_

"Robin Hood" Dick James _Hello Children Everywhere_

"Robin Hood" Louis Prima & His Orchestra _Jumpin' With The Big Swing Bands_

"Robin Hood" The Mekons _So Good It Hurts_

"Robin Hood" Momus _Otto Spooky_

interview with Jesse James expert (?) Ned Dry

"Jesse James" Woody Guthrie _Some Folk_

"Jesse James" The Pogues _Rum Sodomy & The Lash_

"I'm Bad Like Jesse James" John Lee Hooker _Boom Boom_

"Just Like Jesse James" The Mooney Suzuki _Guilt By Association_

"Jesse James" Freedom Fry _Summer In The City_

interview with a Billy The Kid expert
phone call from someone claiming to be Buckee The Bandit

"Billy The Kid" Ry Cooder _Into The Purple Valley_

"Me & Billy The Kid (feat. Peter Rowan)" Ramblin' Jack Elliott _Friends Of Mine_

"Billy The Kid" John Hartford _Good Old Boys_

"Billy The Kid" Jonathan Winters _Here's Jonathan_

"Billy The Kid's Dream Of The Magic Shoes" The Mountain Goats _Protein Source Of The Future...Now!_

interview with action movie star Dan Cash

"A Day In The Life Of Bonnie & Clyde" Mel Torme _A Day In The Life Of Bonnie & Clyde_

"The Ballad Of Bonnie & Clyde" Georgie Fame _The Third Face Of Fame_

"Bonnie & Clyde (feat. Anita Lane)" Mick Harvey _Intoxicated Man_

"The Legend Of Bonnie & Clyde" Merle Haggard _Down Every Road (1962-1994)_

"The Story Of Bonnie & Clyde" Flatt & Scruggs _1964-1969, Plus_

"Pair Of Bonnie & Clydes" Early To Bed _Early To Bed_

interview with historian Jarvis Brezing

"Belle Star (feat. Bill Miller)" Michael Martin Murphey _Cowboy Songs III (Rhymes Of The Renegades)_

"Belle Star" Emmylou Harris & Mark Knopfler _All The Roadrunning_

"Butch Cassidy" My Morning Jacket _The Tennessee Fire_

"Pancho & Lefty" Townes Van Zandt _The Late Great Townes Van Zandt_

"John Wesley Harding" Thea Gilmore _John Wesley Harding_

conclusion & goodbye

"Hard To Be An Outlaw" Willie Nelson _Band Of Brothers_

"Outlaws" Rose Melberg _Homemade Ship_

"Outlaw For A Day" Lame Drivers _Chosen Era_

"The Cowboy Outlaw" Brian Dewan _Tells The Story_

"Outlaw" Mission Of Burma _Signals, Calls, & Marches_

* "Wanted poster" by gorbould is marked with CC BY-NC-ND 2.0. 

Whither Outlaws?

(image from here.)

Outlaws have an enduring popularity - from Robin Hood down to the "outlaw country" stars of the 1970s, many people seem to find something good in being actually quite bad.

A few months ago, I found myself doing a deep dive with the song "Jesse James." I kept hearing several versions in quick succession, from the first recording by Bentley Ball to the Pete Seeger version to re-discovering that the Pogues covered it on Rum, Sodomy, & The Lash.

But I certainly didn't think I could fill three hours of a radio show with songs about Jesse James - & I didn't just want to play version after version.  I've heard other radio shows do that, & I think I'd be as bored as the listener would find it tedious.

Thus began the idea of a show not just about Jesse James, but other outlaws.  Once I included Robin Hood, & Billy The Kid, & Bonnie & Clyde, & others - & of course just songs about outlaws - I figured I might have a decent show.  Tonight you'll get to decide if that is the case.

Self Help Radio airs from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm KBOO in Portland & everywhere at kboo.fm.  As an honest, law-abiding citizen I cannot condone the bad deeds in the songs I'll play.  But like everyone else I can succumb to the mythology & live vicariously through them!

Preface To Outlaws: Goody Two Shoes

(image from here - the story too!)

This blog post was supposed to feature a mild confession from me that - unless you count shoplifting when I was a kid, or running red lights, or sometimes using torrents to find movies I really want to see, I have never really broken the law.  Certainly I would never be called an "outlaw."  Indeed, I was going to say, an outlaw would called me with disgust a "goody two shoes."

That was the plan until I discovered that the phrase "goody two shoes" - which seems self-explanatory - actually lent itself to a story with that name.  Here's how the Wikipedia summarizes it (you can also click the link below the image to read a longer version):

Goody Two-Shoes is a variation of the Cinderella story. The fable tells of Goody Two-Shoes, the nickname of a poor orphan girl named Margery Meanwell, who goes through life with only one shoe. When a rich gentleman gives her a complete pair, she is so happy that she tells everyone that she has "two shoes." Later, Margery becomes a teacher & marries a rich widower. This earning of wealth serves as proof that her virtue has been rewarded, a popular theme in children's literature of the era.

The Wikipedia notes - as does the blog linked under the image - that the phrase was used long before the story.  But while "goody" to us seems a so-sweet-it's-insulting thing to call someone, it was actually short for "goodwife," a kind of precursor or synonym to missus.

The Wikipedia also tells us that, "The story popularized the phrase 'goody two-shoes' as a descriptor for an excessively virtuous person or do-gooder."  I guess Margery Meanwell was an excessively virtuous person.  It's strange that it's become something of a pejorative.

The truth is, I think I was thought of as a goody two-shoes as a kid, & sometimes used it to good advantage.  A teacher might let me take a make-up test in an empty classroom & not suspect I might cheat.  When I sometimes did.  & when I was in my shoplifting phase - which didn't last long - I was often overlooked as a nicer kid while my more unsavory fellows were watched like hawks - which left me to steal things unobserved.

But I would also probably tell on you if you did something really bad.  & most probably I'd be called a "narc" more than a "goody two-shoes" at that point.

In any event - I was never an outlaw.  Never really aimed for it, but had I done so, I would've missed spectacularly.

Obligatory Cartoon Mentioning "Self-Help" Presentation

By the brilliant Tom Gauld. 

If only my radio show were as clever!

Drowning In Films Featuring Drowning

(image from the IMDb)

It will come as no surprise to you that, just as drownings happen in real life, they happen in the movies too.  Our resident cinephile Chuck came by this week to talk about films - thrillers, specifically - in which drownings occurred.  You can listen to that show if you missed it at either the KBOO website or the Self Help Radio website.

Chuck has shared some helpful links for you.

Here is the IMDb keyword search list Chuck used to find thrillers tagged with "drowning" & "murder."

Here is his YouTube playlist of films with drowning within.
Here's a list of some films available for free elsewhere.

Chuck used Letterboxd to comment on some of the films he watched.

Chuck watched way more films than he talked about on the air, but he did talk about them on Twitter.  Maybe follow him to see what he's watching?

Be safe out there!

Self Help Radio 040522: Drowning

(Original image here*.)

This is true: a listener called me to tell me that, as a child, he lived in Germany & his father fished in the North Sea.  He said he had nightmares that his father would drown regularly.  I worried that a show about drowning might be triggering for him, but he said no - he actually now dreamed regularly about being rescued from drowning by aliens in spaceships that looked like transparent cubes.

It's true, I fretted aloud that this particular show's subject matter might be too gruesome, & in fact another listener told me that he fully expected the show to be way more sad than it actually was.  Which, come to think of it, is a little triumph for Self Help Radio, which in its way is always way more sad than it means to be.

In any event, if you can stomach a radio show about drowning, which features music & interviews, you can listen now at the KBOO website, or at the show's website at Self Help Radio dot net.  If you choose the show's website, make sure you remember the username is SHR & the password is selfhelp.  All the things that happen on the show are below.

Be safe out there!

Self Help Radio 220405: Drowning

"Drowning" The English Beat _Wha'ppen_

"Drowning" New York Dolls _'Cause I Sez So_

"Drowning" The Luxembourg Signal _The Luxembourg Signal_

introduction, definitions, statistics

"Drowned In My Own Tears" Mitty Collier _Shades Of A Genius_

"Drowning On Dry Land" O.V. Wright _The Soul Of O.V. Wright_

"Drowning In Berlin" Mobiles _The Edge Of The Eighties_

"The Drowning Man" The Cure _Faith_

"Fear Of Drowning" British Sea Power _The Decling Of British Sea Power_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about movies featuring drowning

"Drown" Black Tambourine _By Tomorrow_

"Drown" Even As We Speak _Feral Pop Frenzy_

"Drown" Beliefs _Leaper_

"Drown" Chastity Belt _Chastity Belt_

"Drown (feat. Kirin J Callinan)" Genesis Owusu _Smiling With No Teeth_

interview with & performance by storyteller Noah Swimmer

"Duck Before You Drown" Dinah Washington _Back To The Blues_

"The Drowned Girl" David Bowie _Baal_

"Drowning Butterflies" Cleaners From Venus _Under Wartime Conditions_

"Drowned Rats" Melbourne Cans _Moonlight Malaise_

"Drown In The Now (feat. Matisyahu)" The Crystal Method _Divided By Night_

interview with lifeguard Jarvis Garvis

"Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning" Morrissey _Vauxhall & I_

"Drowning In You" Pluramon _The Monstrous Surplus_

"Watery (Drowning Is Just Another Word For Being Buried Alive Under Water)" A Sunny Day In Glasgow _Scribble Mural Comic Journal_

"Drowning In Plain Sight" The Delines _The Sea Drift_

"The Drowned Lovers" Nic Jones _Penguin Eggs_

interview with lifeguard & instructor Steve Gunter

"Pouring Water On A Drowning Man" James Carr _Beg Scream & Shout! The Big Ol' Box Of '60s Soul_

"I'm Drowning" Viki Adams _Casino Classics: The Forgotten Floorshakers_

"Ha Ha I'm Drowning" The Teardrop Explodes _Kilimanjaro_

"Drown With The Monster" White Lung _Deep Fantasy_

"Drown Me Out" Pity Sex _Feast Of Love_

"Drowning" Green Pajamas _Narcotic Kisses_

how to tell when someone is drowning - & what to do

"Drowning Head First" Adam Green _Sixes & Sevens_

"Drown" Westkust _Last Forever_

"I'll Try To Ignore The Fact That You're Drowning" Lux _We Are Not The Same_

"Death By Drowning" The Boys Next Door _Hee-Haw_

"Drowning In The Sea of Love" Joe Simon _Drowning In The Sea Of Love_

conclusion & goodbye

"Time Goes Slowly When You're Drowning" Television Personalities _Fashion Conscious_

"Mermaid Drowning On Dry Land" Miles Dethmuffen _Clutter_

*"Drowning In Bricks" by Walter Benson is marked with CC BY-SA 2.0.

Whither Drowning?

(image from here.)

A long time ago, back in Austin, when I first started this show, someone at KOOP, which aired the show, came to me & asked about the show.  They said, "Your recent topics or themes seem very negative."  They had a touch of concern in their voice.

Now, I can't remember when this happened exactly - in the show's first year? or the second? I recall I did a show with the theme "broken" & a caller told me I had cursed her entire day with the show.  But I did wonder if I found "negative" subjects more interesting than whatever the opposite was.  Looking back, though, I see no clear pattern either way.

All of this is just to say I wonder what that volunteer would make of a show about drowning of all things.  & I'm not sure how I would explain exactly why the show today is about drowning, except that I came across a few songs recently that were about drowning - not in a physical sense, generally speaking.  & a cursory glance at my collection revealed I had a whole lot of songs involving drowning.  & that's usually how my shows take shape.

But I certainly hope this isn't triggering for anyone!  If so, please don't listen tonight from midnight to 3am on 90.7 fm in Portland or online at kboo.fm everywhere.  It does seem like a horrible way to go.

Preface To Drowning: What A Bleak Subject!

(no idea where I found this sorry)

Drowning is a gruesome thing, & a horrible way to die.  & lots of people drown to death - the World Health Organization says 236,000 people are lost in death related to drowning.  (Read all about it.)  Since humans have generally lived near water - & many of them throughout history have had to cross bodies of water regularly, sometimes on unsafe or shabbily made crafts - it's safe to say people have been dying by drowning for a long, long time.

But does that make it a suitable topic for a radio show?

Perhaps if I reassured you that drowning as a metaphor would make up the bulk of the song choices, would that help make the theme a bit more respectable?  After all, one can drown one's sorrows, or even drown out the bothersome noise around them.  Ray Charles famously sang he would drown in his own tears, & Joe Simon sang of drowning in a sea of love.  & it makes sense - in a world were drowning is so terrible, using drowning as a metaphor for how one is feeling can be quite powerful.

Besides, did you really think I'd get so lurid as to focus on death on this week's show?  To be fair, some of the songs will mention death, just as I have mentioned death in this discussion.  But we won't linger on it.  It won't be exploitative.  We're a not a true crime drama on the Netflicks or anything.

One confession: I haven't found a song that corresponds with a particular meaning I found on the Urban Dictionary:

Drowning, adjective:

You are beyond desperate & thirsty. You would hook up with anyone. It is not good to be drowning.

Jessica : hey Sally what are you looking at

Sally : ohh just the guy over their in the yellow

Jessica : umm I think he is ten. That is half our age not to mention the mud on his pants. Well I hope it's mud!

Sally : I don't care ima go and work my magic. Bye.

Jessica : your drowning

Because I would totally play that song.

The Uncertain Fate Of Bojangles

A year ago on this date, we were walking our dogs in the afternoon & a tiny animal - pictured above - wandered toward us.  He was not frightened nor threatening - he weighed less than our dog Yoko - he was sweet & friendly & he let me pick him up.  I gave him a treat & I looked around for his owner - but there was no one around to claim him.  So I walked him home & eventually we gave him a bath & fed him & I went through all the channels that I could to find his owner.  I posted on Next Door & I also posted on Facebook.

Almost immediately I got a message from someone who wanted to adopt him.  I was cautious & said I'd wait a bit.  I can't recall if I waited for twenty-four hours but that sounds like me, but I did despair that his owner(s) weren't looking for him.  But right before our afternoon walk the next day, I received a message from someone who knew who he was & to whom he belonged.

This means that he spent a day with us.  He was a sweet, sweet fellow.  Not overly concerned with food - very different from our pack - but with a need to be close to someone.  I think we made him sleep in the garage overnight so as not to either cause any issues with our dogs nor give him any sense our home might be permanent.  He was very chill.  He was cool with whatever.  Look at that sweet face!

The message was from someone who lived in a halfway house in our neighborhood.  Bojangles belonged to a woman there who was beside herself with worry.  We said we'd bring him by - & that's how we learned his name.  When we returned him to her, I knew he was home - he showed such affection to her that I was convinced this was her owner.  I was glad to see him home but sad to see him go.

One of the people who had wanted to adopt him followed up with Bojangles' owner.  She was retired military with many issues.  She was a recovering addict & believed that someone in her house had deliberately set Bojangles free.  (I should note we found him several blocks from the house - he certainly had gone a-wanderin'.)  This person attempted to help Bojangles' owner but was rebuffed until, I assume, she just gave up.

At some point, my wife & I went back to the halfway house & clipped the nails of some of the pets there.  (We had bathed & clipped Bojangles' nails when he was with us.)  But we didn't stay in contact with any of the residents & it was not on our normal dog walk path.  I have not seen Bojangles since the day I handed him back to his owner.

A couple of days ago, we happened to walk past the halfway house & it appeared to be undergoing renovation.  I couldn't see if it was occupied but there was a giant dumpster in front & people wandering about in work clothes.  Perhaps it's no longer a halfway house.  Perhaps Bojangles & his owner no longer live there.

Here's what I know: when his owner took him from me, she expressed the joy I feel with my animals.  I had no doubt he was hers, & she his.  I can't begin to imagine what she has experienced & continues to go through.  I can only hope she has Bojangles to help her, wherever she may be.

It Bit

You won't believe I took this gorgeous picture of this terrifying creature - because why would you? I've shown no talent for photography!  Even I can't believe I took it.  Or that I got close enough to take it because I am deathly afraid of insects.  I just remember that my wife wanted to touch it, & it bit her.  It did!  Her finger swelled up.  Maybe some errant entomologist will happen by this blog one day & comment on what kind of bug it is.  As it stands, I have written it a poem.

Oh biting caterpillar!
We must fetch now the painkiller.

As my wife's hand did linger

You bit her on the finger.

She still thinks you're pretty

Despite what you did - which was shitty.

Though this was awful business

She's shown you forgiveness.

Someday I'll hurt her in some manner
(Not something I'd put in a planner)
But I think of how she forgave you
So there's hope that she'll forgive me too.

Although I shouldn't show her this poem.  It's pretty much unforgivable.

Self Help Radio 032922: The Saddest

This was the saddest sunflower I ever met.

Self Help Radio this week was in its own way two different shows.  The first featured artists telling us what they thought was the saddest thing - the saddest stories, the saddest songs, the saddest words.  During that portion of the show, we also talked to guests.

But as you might have noticed I asked on Twitter & Facebook for listeners to submit what they thought was the saddest song they ever heard - & I asked on air, too.  Honestly, it probably could have been an entire show.  As it happened, I just got to songs requests by Anne, Connor, Dave, two Erics, Gretchen, Hayden, Jamie, Keith, Kevin, Leah, Leslie, Michael, Patrick, Russell, & Tommy.  Except for the live requests, I completely randomized what I would play, so I just didn't have the time to play requests by Avalon, Christopher, Crystal, Damian, David, George, Jeff, Jeffrey, John, Jon, Liza, Matthew, Molly, & Suzi.  My apologies - I should've planned better.  I loved hearing all of your saddest songs!

Just a note - Conner called in to request the same song Jamie has requested, so I felt I had to play it!  & someone named Boosiph requested a Tom Waits song, which Keith also requested, so I flipped a coin, & Keith's choice one.

You can listen to the show any time at either KBOO's web site or at the Self Help Radio website. Login info for the Self Help Radio site - username SHR password selfhelp.  All the songs & what happens in-between are below.

You helped make the saddest show into one of my happiest!  Thank you!

Self Help Radio's Saddest Show
"Saddest Tale" Billie Holiday _The Legacy (1933-1958)_
"Saddest Night In The World" The Walker Brothers _The Walker Brothers Collection_
"The Saddest House In Stockholm" Marty Willson-Piper _Spirit Level_

introduction & explanation

"The Saddest Story Ever Told" The Magnetic Fields _The Wayward Bus_
"The Saddest Story Ever Told" The Charade _The Best Is Yet To Come_
"The Saddest Place In The World" Maria Bamford _How To Win!_
"My Saddest Hour" The Five Keys _The Aladdin Years_
"The Saddest Thing" Melanie _The Good Book_

interview with "Saddest Thing I've Ever Seen" columnist Cliff Turnbull

"Na Na Is The Saddest Word" The Stylistics _The Very Best Of The Stylistics_
"Goodbye Is The Saddest Word" Manhattans _There's No Good In Goodbye_
"The Saddest Snack" Matt Koff _Who's My Little Guy?_
"The Saddest Day" Vitesse _A Certain Hostility_
"The Saddest Song I've Got" Annie Lennox _Bare_

interview with composer of "the saddest music ever written" Edgar Jarvis

"The Saddest Lyrics I Have Ever Written" W-X _W-X_
"The Saddest Lullaby" I'm From Barcelona _Let Me Introduce My Friends_
"The Saddest Sentence" Hodera _First Things First_
"Saddest Quo" The Pernice Brothers _Discover A Lovelier You_
"Small Deaths Are The Saddest" Múm _Summer Make Good_

interview with Bummer, the saddest clown in Portland

"Saddest Summer" The Drums _Summertime!_
"Saddest Girl In The World" Alpaca Sports _From Paris With Love_
"Saddest Day" Brilliantine _My Life & The Beautiful Game_
"The Saddest Song" Morphine _Good_
"The Saddest Song Of All" Doug Ashdown _The Age Of Mouse_

interview with healer of the saddest people Sebastian Holder

"Drown In My Own Tears (Live)" Ray Charles _Genius & Soul: The 50th Anniversary Collection_
"Long Ride Home" Patty Griffin _1000 Kisses_
"Holocaust" Big Star _Third/Sister Lovers_
"Tonight" Sibylle Baier _Colour Green_
"Alone Again" Biz Markie _I Need A Haircut_

we just heard what Michael, Leslie, Eric, Patrick, & Tom say are the saddest songs they've ever heard

"I Remember Me" Silver Jews _Bright Light_
"At Seventeen" Janis Ian _Between The Lines_
"Pictures Of You (Remix)" The Cure _Pictures Of You_
"Box Of Cedar" Marissa Nadler _Ballads Of Living & Dying_
"Suffer Little Children" The Smiths _The Smiths_

we just heard what Hayden, Anne, Dave, Eric, & Leah say are the saddest songs they've ever heard
also - conclusion & goodbye!

"In A Lonely Place" New Order _Substance_
"Soldier's Things" Tom Waits _Swordfishtrombones_
"Mad World" Gary Jules _Trading Snakeoil For Wolftickets_
"The Chalet Lines" Belle & Sebastian _Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like A Peasant_
"Baltimore" Randy Newman _Little Criminals_

(those are what Kevin, Keith, Jamie, Connor, Gretchen, & Russell say are the saddest songs they've ever heard)

Whither The Saddest Show?

(I don't remember where I found this image but it was titled 'The Saddest Beer Ever.')

In typical predictable Self Help Radio fashion, this week's show is more focused on songs talking about the saddest things - stories, songs, etc. - than itself being the saddest show.  However!  As I discussed yesterday, I did ask listeners & friends about the saddest songs they heard, & I got a few responses, so at least some of the show - maybe even half! - will be actual songs that someone thought was the saddest they'd ever heard.

This means that while I don't believe the typical predictable Self Help Radio portion of the show would overall make you sad, the sad songs chosen by listeners actually may.  So consider this a warning!  There may be a part of Self Help Radio tonight that might be sad - & "sad" meaning "affected by unhappiness or grief," & not, as is the usual way people describe the show as sad, meaning "deplorably bad."

That's tonight, midnight to 3am, on 90.7 fm KBOO in Portland & online everywhere at kboo.fm.  We certainly hope it'll be the best saddest show you'll ever hear.

Preface To The Saddest Show: Requests

(image from here.)

My very first experience with radio - that is, communicating with a deejay who had a radio show - involved requesting a song.  I told that story on the blog a while back.  If you don't want to read it, here's the show version: I requested a song, the deejay did not play it, & when I called to request it again, he lied to me & said he'd already played it.

Requests have almost certainly been a part of radio since the beginning.  Early rock & roll deejays measured the success of a song by how many times it was requested.  & it certainly is something I have experienced in my many years of deejaying.  I can usually tell when the listener hasn't really been paying attention - or has never heard Self Help Radio before - & requests a song which has nothing to do with the theme.  In general, though, if I have access to a library, & if I can find the song, I will play it for a listener.

There are always caveats.  Many's the time I'm on the air during the day & can't play songs with bad words.  & I've mentioned, if the show has a theme, & the requested song doesn't fit the theme, I also won't play it.*  & of course if I can't find it, I won't play it.  Some folks will tell me "it's on Spotify" & some even send YouTube links, but I worry about quality from such sources.  I prefer to browse through a physical library, not the treacherous digital ones.

There was one listener in Kentucky who seemed so fearful I might not play his request that he referred to them as "suggestions."  "Thanks for the request," I'd say, & he'd quickly correct me: "It's not a request, it's a suggestion."  I would always wonder which deejay had hurt him so much.

The radio culture has changed since I started in 1994 & it seems that calling a show for requests is not a common thing - or maybe I should just say, not in Portland.  One listener called last week to ask if I'd played a certain song that fit the theme.  I said I hadn't, but if he'd like to hear it, I'd try to find it.  He said, "Oh no, don't interrupt your programming for me!"

That kind of humility seems to me ill-suited for the tradition of radio.  As it was, I looked for his song but could not find it.  Perhaps the number of requests has fallen as the number of fulfilled requests have fallen.  Or maybe my experience has been the anomaly - & most people, like eight-year-old me, are lied to by deejays who simply don't want to take requests.

Well, for tomorrow's show, the saddest show, I asked for requests.  I asked for them early, I asked on the Facebook & the Twitter.  I asked, "What's the saddest song you've ever heard?"  & I got nearly thirty responses.  & I'm going to devote part of tomorrow's saddest show to a selection of the saddest songs that some people have heard.  I'm going to ask again on the air.

Because requesting songs on the radio is not dead.  I'd like to make the suggestion that it become a common practice again.  As long as it doesn't hurt you too terribly much if I can't find what you're looking for.

* The most common request I get that I can't play on Self Help Radio is for a band that fits the theme, not a song.  For example, I might be doing a show about zombies & someone requests the Zombies.  But since the Zombies don't have a song about zombies, I won't play that request.