Purposeful Criticism In Highly Reactive Media

My dog Pauline turned ten today.

It affects you not at all.  It affects a radio show not at all.

When I was growing up, I encountered a few people now & then obsessed with "the apocalypse."  Mostly I didn't have conversations with them. I wasn't in their religion & nothing that said seemed to make sense to me.

It seems weird to me that they have long been predicting the end of the world & it seems very likely that in the near future it'll be very hard for humans to live on this planet so it might well be considered the end of the world & these people are like, "No! The end of the world we envision involves bloody things in the sky!"

Mostly I hope Pauline stays alive for a few more years because I love her.  She's very pretty.  She looks like this:

She also likes to meet new people.  It's kind of embarrassing.  It makes me feel she doesn't love me very much, the way she's so emotional with strangers.  Anyway, it doesn't make me love her less.

As you might imagine, I met a Christian obsessed with the apocalypse today.  We didn't see eye-to-eye.

But hey!  Pauline was very sweet to him.

Films Of 1970/Books Of 1970

(image from the IMDb)

On this past week's show - wherein I not only revisited the theme of my favorite music of 1970 but also celebrated the show's 20th anniversary - you should go listen, it was a lot of fun - at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website - but also our resident cinephile Chuck talked about his favorite films of 1970.  They were, in the order he talked about them:

The Dunwich Horror.
Multiple Maniacs.
Tell Me That You Love Me, Junie Moon.
Joe.
The Projectionist.
& finally, his favorite, Brewster McCloud.

Follow Chuck on Twitter to keep up with what he watches for the show!

Also our favorite librarian Carole stopped by to talk about five of the most significant children's books from 1970.  They were (in the order she discussed them):

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume.
The Trumpet Of The Swan by E.B. White
Runaway Ralph by Beverly Cleary
Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl
& Frog & Toad Are Friends by Arnold Lobel

During the show, someone called & asked me what my favorite movie from 1970 was.  Well!  I keep a poorly-updated list of my favorite movies & the only one from that list from 1970 is M*A*S*H.  I got to see it in the theater a few years ago & find it immaculate.

& no one asked but if I had to say which book from 1970 I enjoyed the most, I'd probably have to be the geek I am & admit it was Ringworld by Larry Niven.  It's a book I've read more than once!

Although I did read the Judy Blume book when I was a kid just to see what the fuss was about, & found it very helpful for understanding girls.  Not that that did me any good!

Self Help Radio 100422: 1970 Revisited - The 20th Anniversary Show!

(all album art from Discogs.)

There it is.  Three more hours of music & fun from 1970 plus me reminiscing about the show as well as the voices of friends of the show past & present.  Who stopped by you might wonder?  Gosh, let me see - Chuck, Chris, Carole, Russ, Allen, Clayton, Denver, Jon, Jerome, & Kevin I believe!

Other than that, the show's about the music.  Lots of music.

& you know I'm fully aware that Self Help Radio is mostly a dumb show but if you ever listened, thank you!  Thank you to the stations that let me play on their airwaves: KOOP, WMUL, WRFL, WLXU, Freeform Portland, & now KBOO!  I probably won't do twenty more years of this but I've had so much fun, I hope at least to keep doing it for a bit longer.

You can listen now & whenever at both the KBOO website or the Self Help Radio website.  At that last one, user SHR as a username & selfhelp as a password please.  The songs I played are below. You'll have to listen for the guest appearances!

Again - thank you for 20 ridiculous years!

Self Help Radio 20th Anniversary Show - 1970 Revisited

"Theme De Yoyo" Art Ensemble Of Chicago _Les Stances À Sophie_

"Across The Universe" The Beatles _Let It Be_

"Parallelograms" Linda Perhacs _Parallelograms_

"Worried Worried" Mayo Thompson _Corky's Debt To His Father_

"Your Key Don't Fit It Anymore" Marie Queenie Lyons _Soul Fever_

"Blue Nile" Alice Coltrane _Ptah, The El Daoud_

"Pressure Drop" The Maytals _Monkey Man_

"Completeness" Minnie Ripperton _Come To My Garden_

"Preciso Urgentemente Encontrar Um Amigo" Mutantes _A Divina Comédia Ou Ando Meio Desligado_

"Exuma, The Obeah Man" Exuma _Exuma_

"My Only Child" Nico _Desertshore_

"Sugar Man" Rodriguez _Cold Fact_

"Greenfield Morning I Pushed An Empty Baby Carriage All Over The City" Yoko Ono _Plastic Ono Band_

"Jones Comin' Down" The Last Poets _The Last Poets_

"Conversation" Joni Mitchell _Ladies Of The Canyon_

"Blistered" Johnny Cash _Hello, I'm Johnny Cash_

"Free Your Mind & Your Ass Will Follow" Funkadelic _Free Your Mind & Your Ass Will Follow_

"I Have Learned To Do Without You" Mavis Staples _Only For The Lonely_

"Willie & Laura Mae Jones" Clarence Carter _Patches_

"Apeman" The Kinks _Lola Versus Powerman & The Moneygoround, Part One_

"Get Me Back On Time, Engine Number Nine (Parts I & II)" Wilson Pickett _In Philadelphia_

"Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)" Melanie _Candles In The Rain_

"My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama" The Mothers Of Invention _Weasels Ripped My Flesh_

"Sunday Coming" Alton Ellis _Sunday Coming_

"The Ghetto" Donny Hathaway _Everything Is Everything_

"I Don't Like You" Bo Diddley _The Black Gladiator_

"Gator Tail" Lee Dorsey _Yes We Can_

Whither 1970 Revisited?

(image from here.)

Self Help Radio had its first episode on October 9, 2002. It was a Wednesday in Austin, at 2 in the afternoon.  I've told the story about the weird hoops I had to jump through to get on the air on KOOP many times before, so I shan't again, but I will say that I had no idea I'd be doing the show twenty years later.  I wasn't sure I'd be doing the show a year later, to be honest.

The show aired on KOOP from 2002 to 2008. It didn't exist except as a podcast for a year, then it aired from 2009 to 2010 on WMUL in Huntington, West Virginia. We moved to Lexington, Kentucky, where it aired from 2010 to 2016 on WRFL. Though we moved to Fort Worth, Texas, in the summer of that year, it continued to air in Kentucky on WLXU in Lexington for a couple more years. It was a lonesome podcast again after that until it found a home on Freeform Portland in 2019, just a few months after we arrived, & it moved to KBOO in 2020 in the middle of the pandemic, where it has been ever since. I myself have done shows on a few more stations that never aired Self Help Radio though I tried doing the show there! For different reasons, they wouldn't let me.

Once upon a time, I counted all the themes I've covered. I won't do that right now. It's been a lot. There's a list on the website, actually. One of the things I started to do for my anniversary shows - it looks like in 2008, on the show's sixth anniversary - is to revisit an old theme. & I decided this year to revisit my favorite music from 1970, a theme I first explored in 2006. I explained yesterday how I'll do this & I've been sharing music videos of the songs I previously played this past week on the show's Facebook page.  I won't play any of those releases tonight.

& you know what? I have much more music I love from 1970 than even the music I'll play tonight. It's maddening how much music is out there that I love to listen to. I'm glad I have a radio show so I can share it with you!

Celebrate twenty years of Self Help Radio (if you can) tonight on 90.7fm KBOO Portland. We're online everywhere at kboo.fm. Oh yeah. It's on midnight to 3am.

Preface To 1970 Revisited: 1970 Again

(image from here.)

Every year around the time of the show's anniversary, Self Help Radio revisits an old theme.  This week's show is the 20th anniversary show (!!) so I looked back & decided I would find some more of my favorite songs from 1970 & play them.  Looking back at that old playlist, I am struck by one thing that unnerves me: the musicians featured are all men (unless you count the two women in the Free Design, who sing with the men in the group) & all but three are white.  I am saddened & disturbed by that.  I knew I loved a more diverse range of music from that year.

The original 1970 show aired the week of my birthday, like I do, & I usually write on the blog about things happening to me that year.  This blog started in late 2006, so I wasn't writing anything about the show when it first happened, but also, I was two years old in 1970.  I have almost no memory about anything that happened that year of my life, & what memories I do have come from stories my mother or my older siblings told me.

What I do know is that it was a pretty great year for music - even if I almost certainly don't like most of the music love from that year.  So I am glad to get a chance to revisit it.

Hope I don't fuck it up!

Movies Of All Sizes

(image from the IMDb)

We had a delightful visit this week from our friend Chuck - Self Help Radio's resident cinephile - who, apropos this week's theme, "sizes," talked to us about movies featuring kaiju - which the Wikipedia tells us means "a Japanese genre of films & television featuring giant monsters. The term kaiju can also refer to the giant monsters themselves."

You didn't listen?  There's no excuse for that.  Do so now at either the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website.  Then, if you want more information, here are some links that can help!

Here's Chuck's IMDb keyword list from which he chose what to watch.

Chuck made a Letterboxd list of the films he watched, & here are his reviews.

Chuck wants you to see these films!  So, here is a YouTube playlist & an IMDb list of films you can stream elsewhere for free.

Follow Chuck on Twitter!  So you know when he's on next!  Spoiler alert - he's on next week's show too!

The Size Of Books

(images from Goodreads)

If we're very lucky, our favorite librarian Carole stops by Self Help Radio to talk to us about some books relating to this week's theme.  She was here for this week's show, which had the theme "sizes," & which you can listen to at either the Self Help Radio website or at the KBOO website - Carole's interview happens early in the show, just past the first half hour I believe - & you should listen because she talked about the three books above!

Once you've listened, find out more at these links!  Here are the books she talked about:

I'm The Biggest Thing In The Ocean! by Kevin Sherry

Capybara Is Friends With Everyone by Maddie Frost

(The capybara is the largest rodent, you see.)

Ninita's Big World: The True Story Of A Deaf Pygmy Marmoset by Sarah Glenn Marsh with illustrations by Stephanie Fizer Coleman

(The pygmy marmoset is the smallest monkey.)

Thanks to Carole, you can grow your library by listening to the radio!

Reflections On The Number 4,000

(image from here)

Oh no, you're thinking, is he going to start writing in this blog six days a week? That's just so much more to ignore! I am not. No, I've been thinking about what I mentioned in this post, which is, I have past four thousand posts on this blog.  It seems like a lot.

But is it?  Four thousand days is just under eleven years (if there were no leap years, eleven years would count as 4,015 days).  Self Help Radio turns 20 next week, & this blog began in 2006, so if I wrote in this blog every day, I would've hit four thousand posts around 2017 or so.

But four thousand years is a lot of years.  Look at that map up there of the what the world looked like around 2000 BCE.  (Four thousand years ago would be 1978 BCE or maybe 1979 BCE since there wasn't a year 0. I have simply forgotten how to properly math.)  That is astonishing.

Human were everygoddamwhere except New Zealand & some very northern places.  (I don't know about Polynesia though & am too lazy to look that up.)  It was the Bronze Age & that would last until around 1200 BCE.  & you can see most of the world was not really working with bronze.  & good for them!

There were only a few Bronze Age cultures, many of which I am ashamed to admit I don't know much about - they're in orange up there.  Fewer still were "state societies" - the Norte Chico in the Andean area, the Egyptians, the Minoans, the Syrians, the folks in the Indus Valley, & Ur III.

According to the Wikipedia page about 2000 BCE, we seem to know most about Egypt, probably because their records were saved in the desert environments, but two things stick out:
1) "The last woolly mammoth goes extinct on Wrangel island."
2) "Horses were tamed & used for transport."
Both seem a bit sad in their way.

Would I like to visit back then?  Hell yeah.  But only if I could bring my own food & drink.  I'm sure I'd get cholera right away from the water.  & I'm sure I'd be very sad to see the abject misery.  & of course everyone would smell terrible. But there's so much about that time we'll never really know. Like, what did their music sound like? Hearing someone sing back then & play music would be incredible.

& it was just four thousand years ago. That's mind-blowing, isn't it? Like, we know quite about about what happened two thousand years ago. But double that? Precious little.

That's what the number four thousand made me think of. Stuff much more interesting than almost anything written in the over four thousand posts on this blog!

Self Help Radio 092722: Sizes

Like the graphic above (which features a picture of the Willamette in the background that I took on a very cold day this past winter), Self Help Radio came in all different sizes this week.  It's like someone said, "Hey! Pick on someone your own size!" & Self Help Radio said, "But I am all sizes!"

Just a point of clarification: the radio show can't actually talk back to you. I've had a caller or two in my time who seemed to want to argue with a song I've just played, but generally speaking recordings can't communicate with you unless your brain is wired to receive such things, & we think of that as a form of mental illness.  I was only speaking with my revoked poetic license.  Also, I wanted to use the phrase "pick on someone your own size," maybe because I've never used it ever in my life.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, lots of sizes.  That was what the show was about.  Sorry, I used all my brainpower this morning/afternoon creating that dumb graphic up there, so I simply can't think of anything else to say.

Except!  You can listen to the show now at its KBOO page or at the Self Help Radio website.  If you go to the show's website, remember you'll need to use SHR as a username & selfhelp as a password.  But you can download the show there!  Everything that happened is below.

Sighs.  I mean, size.

Self Help Radio Sizes Show

"He's Just My Size" Lillie Mae Kirkman _Raunchy Business (Hot Nuts & Lollypops)_

"She's Just Good Huggin' Size" Tommy McClennan _Big Joe Williams & The Stars Of Mississippi Blues_

"Large Size Mama" Ruth Wallis _For Sophisticates Only_

introduction & definitions

"Giant Sized Baby Thing" Bow Wow Wow _Your Box Set Pet (The Complete Recordings 1980-1984)_

"The Size Of A Cow" The Wonder Stuff _Never Loved Elvis_

"It's Not Just The Size Of A Walnut" The Soft Boys _1976-81_

"A Girl Your Size (How Could I Not Miss)" Martin Mull _Martin Mull & His Fabulous Furniture In Your Living Room_

"Love Comes In All Sizes" The Chi-Lites _A Letter To Myself_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by

"Size 12" Don Cornell _The Hits Collection 1942-58_

"King Size Papa" Julia Lee _I'm A Bad, Bad Girl - Seven Dozen Dusky Divas 1939-1953_

"Try On My Love For Size" Chairmen Of The Board _Everything's Tuesday: The Best Of Chairmen Of The Board_

"Dogs Come In All Sizes" George Carlin _More Napalm & Silly Putty_

"Shoesize Of The Angel" Momus _Ping Pong_

interview with shop owner Josie Little

"King Size" The Trials Of Jayson Hoover _King Size_

"Kingsized" Dressy Bessy _Kingsized_

"King Size" Peach Kelli Pop _Gentle Leader_

"It Ain't The Size Of The Ring Finger" Dave Foley _Relatively Well_

"Size 9" Alpinestars _B.A.S.I.C._

interview with shop owner Karen Hardy

"Man Sized Job" Denise LaSalle _Making A Good Thing Better: The Complete Westbound Singles 1970-76_

"Man-Size" PJ Harvey _Rid Of Me_

"The Size Of Our Love" Sleater-Kinney _The Hot Rock_

"Plus Size Models" Andy Kline _Vintage_

"Super-Size It" Half Japanese _Hello_

interview with tallest person in American Jasper Johnson

"I'm Looking For A Saxophonist Doubling French Horn Wearing Size 37 Boots" The Artwoods _Steady Gettin' It: The Complete Recordings 1964-67_

"My Size Side" The Homosexuals _Astral Glamour_

"House The Size Of Mars" The Dentists _If All The Flies Were One Fly: A Collection Of Rare & Unreleased Dentistry 1984-1995)_

"Three Different Sizes" Sarah Silverman _Songs Of The Sarah Silverman Program - From Our Rears To Your Ears!_

"Kingsize (You're My Little Steam Whistle)" Haircut 100 _Pelican West_

"You're Just The Right Size" The Salsoul Orchestra _The Salsoul Orchestra_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by

"Medium-Sized" Jerold Crews _Drive In Presents: Easy Tune Vol. 3_

"Half The Size Of Nothing" The Bluetones _A New Athens_

"High Rise Towers In Medium Size Towns" Darren Hayman & The Secondary Modern _Pram Town_

"Pocketsize" Voice Of The Beehive _Monsters & Angels_

"In A Town This Size (with Dolores Keane)" John Prine _In Spite Of Ourselves_

conclusion, phone call with Mr. Spellman, goodbye

"My Size" Jackie Cohen _Zagg_

"Super Size Me" Magnapop _The Circle Is Round_

"Just My Size" Tuscadero _The Pink Album_

"Your New Twin Sized Bed" Death Cab For Cutie _Narrow Stairs_

Whither Sizes?

 (image found here.)

Self Help Radio listeners come in all sizes (I'll assume).  But are they - are you - interested in a show about size itself?  I'll find out tonight!

My last foray (I think) into the world of sizes on the show was the "giant show" from a little over two years ago.  As I said on the blog about that show,

Quite simply, it means a show about giants & giant things.  Quite complicatedly, it means that the original intention was songs about giants but at some point in the collection of songs about giants the songs about giant things had also amassed & some of them were really good & it was like, "Why exclude these things because they're giant too just not giants."  Quite Germanly, ich kann wirklich kein Deutsch. Ich habe einen Online-Übersetzer verwendet, um dies zu schreiben. Meine deutschen Vorfahren würden sich zutiefst schämen. Naja. Darf ich auch hinzufügen, daß ich drei schöne Hunde habe?

Something in me - thankfully it doesn't appear to covid - because I tested! - told me it was time to do another show about scale.  But just "scale"?  Should it be "a tiny show"?  "A fat show"?  "A medium show"?  I began to feel I was developing a kind of antipathy - maybe even a prejudice - for all sizes, including my own, which is "large & unpleasantly lumpy."  I was becoming size-ist!

To keep me from going down difficult roads, I settled on a show about size.  All sizes!  Because while it's true that one particular size doesn't matter, size itself matters.  Plus, it doesn't mean in the future I can't do a tiny, fat, medium, or even large & unpleasantly lumpy show.  Why use up all possible words & themes?  I mean, English has so few of them as it is.

Listen! Tonight! Midnight to 3am Portland time! KBOO! 90.7 fm! kboo.fm! It's just your size!

Preface To Sizes: How Tall Or Fat Is 4000?

(image from here.)

The show this week will have the theme "sizes."  Which should be fun.  But guess what?  I missed a milestone a couple of days ago, which was: the four thousandth post on this blog!

My first post was written Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - approximately sixteen years ago.  The show was almost four years old, I was 38 years old, & I had no idea that I would still be doing Self Help Radio in 2022 or if I would even be alive.  Almost all the animals I had at that time are gone - only my good friend the black cat Bolan remains from that beautiful menagerie.  I was single then, living with a woman who I think just had a master's degree but no PhD.

Since I didn't take many pictures back in the day, I don't have any specifically from September 12, 2006, but my girlfriend & I had just come back from visiting Chicago, & this is a picture from then:

There's very little gray in that beard. The next couple of years at KOOP would change that!

Anyway, I didn't mean to hijack this post, I just felt like I should note - sixteen years of nonsense on this blog, four thousand posts, & next month it'll be twenty years of Self Help Radio.  Someone needs to make me a cake or something.

Or I'll just do it.

Self Help Radio's Own Mr. Fix-It

(image from here)

You don't listen to Self Help Radio, which is cool, I probably wouldn't either if I didn't have to be there, but if you don't listen, you don't get to hear my mostly embarrassing attempts to be funny.

This week, thanks to the theme "fixes," I created a few interstitials featuring a "Mr. Fix It," who is supposed to be helping you fix things around the house.  I am not usually amused by my attempts at being amusing, & I wish I had had a little more time to polish them, but there's always a deadline.

But I present to you with only a little shame the six Mr Fix It segments I made for the show. If you ask, I'll tell you the particular bit I am sort-of emulating or have been inspired by - but I wanted to make sure they were only a minute long so wouldn't outstay their welcome - & yes, they're a little silly.

Mr. Fix It # 1

Mr. Fix It # 2

Mr. Fix It # 3

Mr. Fix It # 4

Mr. Fix It # 5

Mr. Fix It # 6

Will Mr Fix It return?  Oh god let's hope not.

Fixing In The Movies

(image from the IMDb)

This week our resident cinephile Chuck stopped by to talk about a specific kind of fix in movies - the fix that is "a dose of a narcotic drug to which one is addicted," in particular heroin.  So he talked about movies that featured heroin - although not necessarily fixing with heroin.

He talked to us in the first hour, so if you haven't listened already (?!?) you can do so at both the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website.  The following links will supplement the segment:

Here's the IMDb keyword list from which he chose what to watch.

Here is his Letterboxd list of the films he watched, & here are his reviews.

Where can one see these films?  Here is a YouTube playlist & an IMDb list of films you can stream elsewhere for free.

Keep up with what Chuck is watching by following him on Twitter.  He'll be on next week too!

But stay away from heroin, kids.  That stuff is awful.

Self Help Radio 092022: Fixes

It took me way too long to make that image up there.  Too bad it's not very good.

The show about fixes is done & I am not sure it fixed anything.  That being said, it makes me think I can safely say Self Help Radio is a fixture on KBOO.  I can't say that?  It's just a kind of fixation with me?  An idée fixe?  Oh I do love it when you talk French to me!

If you're fixing to listen to some radio, maybe listen to this show?  It's at both the KBOO website & the Self Help Radio website now.  At the latter, please use the username SHR & the password selfhelp to listen.  Everything that happened on the show is below.  Well, not everything.  Most everything.

How are you fixed for radio?

Self Help Radio Fixes Show

"The Fix" Elbow _The Seldom Seen Kid_

"Fixe" Ora Cogan _Bells In The Ruins_

"Everything Is Fixed" Mick Harvey _Two Of Diamonds_

introduction & definitions

"Fixes" Plush _Please_

"Fixing A Hole (ft. Electric Würms)" The Flaming Lips _With A Little Help From My Fwends_

"Mr Fix-It" Darlene Love _So Much Love: A Darlene Love Anthology 1958-1998_

"How Do Ya Fix A Broken Part?" Iggy Pop _New Values_

"Fix My Sink (feat. Bear Who?)" DJ Sneak _Housekeepin_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about a certain kind of fix in the movies

"Cheap New-Age Fix" Julian Cope _Interpreter_

"Fix" Hazel English _Just Give In / Never Going Home_

"A Fix On You" Dead Moon _Stranded In The Mystery Zone_

"Fix Me" Rah Rah _Vessels_

"Jesus Will Fix It" Al Green _Soul Survivor_

interview with restauranteur Basil Jefferson

"Fixed" Stars _The Five Ghosts_

"Fix You" Robyn Hitchcock _Love From London_

"Hell Of A Fix" Marion Jarvis _Hell Of A Fix_

"Mr. Fix It" The Mad Lads _Their Complete Early Volt Recordings_

"A Terrible Fix" Rocketship _Thanks To You_

interview with Tiktok creatore Anna Rose

"Fix Me Up" Katy J Pearson _Return_

"Fixing Motorcycles" Chime School _Chime School_

"Fixed Grin" Shop Assistants _Will Anything Happen_

"I Won't Try To Fix You" Spearmint _Holland Park_

"Fix" The Sisters Of Mercy _The Reptile House E.P._

interview with political commentator Dr. Quentin Borden

"Fixina" Sad13 _Slugger_

"Fix Your Eyes On" Sharesprings _Popkiss Single_

"Fix Me Now" Garbage _Garbage_

"Fix It" Bob Mould _Beauty & Ruin_

"Mr. Fixit" Thelma Jones _Second Chance: The Complete Barry & Columbia Recordings_

interview with former fixer Bugsy Ricotta

"Awful Fix Blues" Buddy Boy Hawkins _The Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order (1927-1929)_

"Fix It" Georgia Tom & Jane Lucas _Famous Hokum Boys Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order Volume 2 (1930-1931)_

"We Got To Get That Fixed" Speckled Red _Complete Recorded Works 1929-1938 In Chronological Order_

"Fixin' To Die Blues" Bukka White _The Complete Bukka White_

"My Heart Is Fixed" Reverend Gary Davis _Pure Religion & Bad Company_

"How Are Ya Fixed For Love (with Keely Smith)" Frank Sinatra _The Capitol Years_

conclusion & goodbye

"Fix To Fall" Loop _Heaven's End_

"To Fix The Gash In Your Head" A Place To Bury Strangers _A Place To Bury Strangers_

"Fix Bayonets!" Preoccupations _Arrangements_

Whither Fixing (Or Fixes)?

(image from here.)

You might have guessed, if you read yesterday's blog entry, why the theme this week is "fixing." Or "fixes." I sometimes go with the gerund (or participle, I forget which sometimes) when the theme is a verb, although "fix" is also a noun.  Anyway, I thought "fixing" would make the theme clearer so that's what it says on the website, but the show really has multiple fixes so it should be "fixes."

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  I was looking something up in the dictionary - it was basically when the word "fix" came to mean to "a dose of heroin" - which by the way comes from the previous usage "fix up," having to do with an alcoholic drink, first used in the mid-1800s - that's what Etymology Online says anyway - & it struck me that there were so many different meanings for this one, little, three-letter word.  It kinda blew my mind.  & so I thought, why not make an episode of Self Help Radio about "fix."  Maybe call it "fixing."  When it should be "fixes."

Howsoever I chose to fix it, the fix is in tonight from midnight to 3am on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland & online at kboo.fm.  Some people say self-help of all kinds, including that on the radio, can help fix you.  Alas, Self Help Radio is not a self-help radio show.  But maybe it'll suffice as your nighttime radio fix.

Preface To Fixing: Fixed It!

That snotty picture was taken six years ago somewhere & entitled "Fixed It!"  Because, you know, we all have the money to get things broken on our cars fixed right away.  If this had happened to me when I had my first car - well, I probably wouldn't have been so creative.

The word "fix" is fascinating.  It means different things in each of these sentences:

You really need to fix that dent on my car.
I like it when you fix your hair in a bun!
The owner fixed the price for the goods; she would not haggle.
Hope you're not moving soon - you've fixed that poster to the wall!
He fixed his eyes on the faraway island.
Let's fix the meeting for Tuesdays at two.
You're fixed for money since your aunt gave you that loan.
How did he win? He fixed the game, that's how.
Oh, I fix dinner every night around suppertime.
She was a dastardly foe who has the upper hand, but I'll fix her!
That dog will calm down after we get him fixed.
The junkie was in a fix because she didn't know when she'd get her next fix.
It's a puzzler - what is the fix for a show like Self Help Radio?

Thirteen sentences with fourteen meanings of fix.  & I didn't cover them all!

It'll make a pretty good radio show, though, right?  Right?

91.7

(my Austin loves, KVRX & KOOP)

The other night, on the air on KBOO, I gave the legal ID, like you do, but I said this: "You're listening to K-B-O-O Portland, 91.7 fm."  I quickly corrected myself - we're on 90.7 fm - but it's a mistake I'm sure I've made before & will doubtless make again.  Because the 91.7 frequency is where I lived on the radio for more than a decade.

My first radio experiences were on KVRX, from 1994 to 1999.  I volunteered & did a show on KOOP (it's where Self Help Radio started!) from 2001 to 2008.  You might be thinking, hold on.  Were both of these stations in Austin?  How do they have the same frequency?  It's because they share the frequency.  You can read that story on KOOP's Wikipedia page.  I'm not going to tell it here.

This is about the number 9 & 1 & 7.  Because today is 9/17.  I don't have a record handy of radio shows I did at KVRX, & I can't be sure that my records of my time at KOOP are all that complete, but according to them, I only did one radio show from 2002 to 2008 on September 17, a Membership Drive show in 2003 about monkeys.

But I do remember, when I did my show on KVRX on Mondays from 9 to 11pm, I liked to make sure I was either talking by 9:17pm (so I could mention it) or I'd do my first airbreak at 9:17pm.  I'm not a numerologist, but I liked that I was on when the station's frequency was mentioned.

The last time I was in Austin, I actually did a radio show on KVRX, because at the time they very kindly allowed alumni to do shows in the interim between semesters.  I may even have been on from 9 to midnight but I don't really recall.  That was in late 2017 I think.  Austin had changed very much & I didn't think that I wanted to ever go back again.  I was happier in that town when it wasn't as crowded & had so many skyscrapers.

But should you visit Austin, do spend some time at that frequency, 91.7fm.  I know no one now at KVRX but still have a few friends who are excellent programmers at KOOP, but the different things that made both stations magical are still in evidence.  & maybe someone else there who has a 9 o'clock show - either at 9am or 9pm - kinda thrills to say "it's 9:17 & you're listening to 91.7fm."  If they don't, they should!

Or else they're simply not as big a geek as I am.

Show Woes

(At the Aladdin Theater last spring, right before the Magnetic Fields came on.)

Back in Austin, in the late 80s, I would visit a record store called Sound Exchange (it was called Record Exchange until 1987) & in the front, as you walked in, on metal racks were the new releases - all on vinyl, they didn't have much of a CD selection yet.  New records were $3.99.  They had a red or orange sticker that told you that.  So much good stuff was coming out at that time I would sometimes buy a record just because it looked like it might be good.  This is how I acquired Strange Times by the Chameleons.

Initially I think I bought it because it a) had a bonus record with it (!) & b) that bonus record had both a Bowie & a Beatles cover (!!).  I did sometimes buy records I didn't like but I fucking hit the jackpot with that one.  Holy shit.  It's one of my favorite records ever.

The Chameleons came to the states to tour for the record but never made it down to Texas.  They broke up in 1987 when their manager died - two of the members of the band apparently disliked each other.  But they managed to re-form from 2000 to 2003 - all the original members - but never even toured the U.S. during that time, as far as I know.

When I lived in Kentucky, I found out that Mark Burgess, the bassist & lead singer, was touring as ChameleonsVox.  He was coming as close to Lexington as Columbus, Ohio, about three hours away.  It had taken almost thirty years but I was going to get to see the band.  & I did.

That's a picture I took of someone taking a picture of Mark Burgess.  With great luck, I saw them again - as ChameleonsVox - here in Portland in 2019.

They'll be in town in a week - I've found out that original guitarist Reg Smithies is touring with the band, which apparently makes them the Chameleons again.  They were supposed to be at the Doug Fir Lounge on the 27th.  The show has been rescheduled to the 26th at a bigger venue.  But that's a Monday night.  I have a radio show that night.  I guess I could prerecord...

It's funny, I've seen a few shows since the long slow ending (still happening) of the pandemic.  I am usually one of a handful of people wearing a mask.  I feel very old at these shows, more out of place than when I was a shy boy sitting next to the stage for a couple of hours before the openers even came on.  I used to bring a book to read when I'd go to shows back then.  Now I just doomscroll Twitter on my phone.

So there's something unpleasant about seeing live music plus I've seen the Chameleons (at least their lead singer) twice more than I ever thought I would.  I know this is a rationalization but I also know it's not working.  I'm quite bummed that I don't get to see them this time around.  Unless I go ahead & prerecord my dumb show.  Which I just might do.  Now that I think about it.

Self Help Radio 091322: Satisfaction

(Original image here.)

Well I'm satisfied that the Self Help Radio satisfaction show rates a "satisfactory" grade.  Remember those?  That's how I learned the word, from the elementary school grading system, which for some reason was more complicated than later grades which gave out As, Bs, Cs, etc.  One website defines them like this:

S – Satisfactory; I – Incomplete; N – Needs Improvement; P – Pass; U – Unsatisfactory; F – Fail

But wait! I remember an E for excellent! Anyway, I'd give this show an S with a side order of N.  Plus, every Self Help Radio feels a bit I.  Maybe that's a U going on F?

So many songs about satisfaction, feeling satisfied, & the act of satisfying!  Also, lost of covers of the Rolling Stones song.  I meant to play the Residents' version, but someone requested the Devo version.  What could I do?

The show is now at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  At the show's website, you'll need a username (which is SHR) & a password (which is selfhelp), but you can download the show if you want.  Everything that happens on the show is below.

& I certainly hope you're satisfied!

Self Help Radio Satisfaction Show

"Satisfaction" Errol Dunkley _Black Man's Pride 3 (None Shall Escape The Judgement Of The Almighty)_

"Satisfaction" Smokey Robinson & The Miracles _One Dozen Roses_

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction (live 1965)" The Rolling Stones _On Air_

introduction & definitions

"I'm Qualified To Satisfy You" The Dirtbombs _Ultraglide In Black_

"Satisfied" Rufus _Rufus_

"Satisfied" Fat White Family _Songs For Our Mothers_

"You Think You're A Man" The Vaselines _The Way Of The Vaselines - A Complete History_

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" Otis Redding _The Complete Stax-Volt Singles 1959-1968_

interview with author Lothario Casanova Valentino

"A Satisfied Mind" Ella Fitzgerald _The Singles_

"Satisfaction" Echo & The Bunnymen _Crystal Days 1979-1999_

"Satisfy" Mo-Dettes _The Story So Far_

"I Don't Know (Satisfaction)" Sly & The Family Stone _Fresh_

"Keine Klasse (I Can't Get No Satisfaction)" The Dorados _Pop In Germany, Vol. 3_

interview with ghost rider Ernest Chestinsworth III

"I'm Not Satisfied" The Fall _Cerebral Caustic_

"I Can't Get No Satisfaction (Thank God)" Talulah Gosh _Backwash_

"Do It ('Til You're Satisfied)" B.T. Express _Give Up The Funk (The B.T. Express Anthology: 1974-1982)_

"Quick Reaction & Satisfaction" Etta James _Etta James Sings Funk_

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" Phyllis Diller _Golden Throats 2 (More Celebrity Rock Oddities!)_

interview with guru Jarvis The Water Guy

"Anything But Satisfied" The Manhattan Love Suicides _More Heat! More Panic!_

"Qualify & Satisfy" Funkadelic _Funkadelic_

"Satisfied" Krystal Generation _Eccentric Soul: Twinight's Lunar Rotation_

"Satisfied" Tom Waits _Bad As Me_

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" The Incredible Bongo Band _Bongo Rock_

interview with memoirist Dennis Jagger

"I'll Be Satisfied (When My Soul Is Resting In The Presence Of The Lord)" Rev. J. M. Gates & Congregation _The Rise & Fall Of Paramount Records 1917-1927, Volume 1_

"Satisfied" Barbara & Ernie _Prelude To..._

"Leave Here Satisfied" Robert Forster _Danger In The Past_

"(Keep Me) Satisfied" Antietam _Tenth Life_

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" Devo _Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!_

interview with former Cosmo editor Vanessa St. John

"Got The Blues, Can't Be Satisfied" Mississippi John Hurt _1928 Sessions_

"Praise God I'm Satisfied" Blind Willie Johnson _Dark Was The Night_

"Satisfaction Blues" Rufus & Ben Quillian _Rufus & Ben Quillian 1929-31: Complete Recordings In Chronological Order_

"Satisfied" Harold Burrage _The Cobra Records Story_

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" Alien Sex Fiend _Another Planet_

conclusion & goodbye

"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" Cat Power _The Covers Record_

"I'm Satisfied" Earl Johnson & His Dixie Entertainers _Hard Times Come Again No More Vol. 2 (Early American Rural Songs Of Hard Times & Hardships)_

"Dissatisfied" Riverside Ramblers _Black & White Hillbilly Music: Early Harmonica Recordings From The 1920s & 30s_

"I Can't Be Satisfied" Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys _San Antonio Rose_

Whither Satisfaction?

(I wish I knew where I found this!)

The eternal conundrum: can a mostly unsatisfying radio show properly cover the theme "satisfaction"?  Why do I torture myself in this manner?

Maybe we won't get to this tonight, but etymonline.com tells us that the original definition (from the early 14th century) of satisfaction was "performance by a penitent of an act set forth by a priest or other Church authority to atone for sin."  Which is not a meaning that we use even think about today. The same site tells us, "The sense of 'action of gratifying' (an appetite or desire) is from late 14th century; that of 'gratified or contented feeling or state of mind' is from the late 15th century."

For my part, it was as you suspected, I happened to become fascinated with covers of the Rolling Stones song which led to the germ of the idea of this show.  & yes, I'll play several of those covers tonight.  I will not be able to help myself.

Listen! It may be satisfying! From midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in town & online at kboo.fm.  & no, not "satisfaction guaranteed or your money back" - because it's free!