Self Help Radio 030921: Victory!

(Original image here.*)

At long last, a victory for Self Help Radio!  Oh, it may be a temporary victory - or more likely a Pyrrhic victory - but after the year we've had, this show will take what it can get.

Yes, this week Self Help Radio - almost certainly the losingest show in the history of radio - celebrated victory after victory.  It may have seemed hard-fought, but really it was just a bunch of songs.  & also a couple of interviews.  & also way too much silliness.

Listen if you need a little victory in your life at the show's website.  Remember that you'll need a username & a password to listen.  All the stuff that happened on the show is below.

Congrats on your victory!

Self Help Radio Victory Show

"Victory" Curtis Mayfield _Heartbeat_
"Victory" PJ Harvey _Dry_
"Victory" The Walkmen _Lisbon_

introduction & definitions

"Paths Of Victory" Odetta _Odetta Sings Dylan_

"Sweeter The Victory" Gregory Isaacs _In Person_

"Till Victory" Patti Smith Group _Easter_

"Just One Victory" Todd Rundgren _A Wizard, A True Star_

"A Relatively Famous Victory" Ballboy _I Worked On The Ships_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently (part one)

"Forces Of Viktry" Linton Kwesi Johnson _Forces Of Victory_

"Sansa (Victory Song)" Yma Sumac _Legend Of The Jivaro_

"Victory" News From Babel _Sirens & Silences/Work Resumed On The Tower_

"There's No Such Thing As Victory" Felt _The Final Resting Of The Ark_

"Another Victory" Big Daddy Kane _It's A Big Daddy Thing_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently (part two)

"Celebrate Your Victory" The Shirelles _Lost & Found (Rare & Previously Unissued)_

"The Last Performance Of The Royal Regimental Very Victorious & Valiant Band" The Syn _Original Syn (1967-69)_

"Haggling Victory" Adam Newman _Not For Horses_

"Victory Horns" Strange Parcels & Jesse Rae _Pay It All Back (Volume 4)_

"Victory (Remix)" Caveman _Positive Reaction_

interview with writer Victoria Verbena

"Victory" Three Finger Cowboy _Kissed_

"Victory Lane" Komeda _KoKoMeMeDaDa_

"Victory Rally" Pat Paulsen _Pat Paulsen For President_

"Victory Is Mine" Sounds Of Blackness _The Apostle (Music From & Inspired By The Motion Picture)_

"Road To Victory (feat. Hugh Augustine & Alex Nester)" The Urban Renewal Project _21st Century Ghost_

interview with spelling bee victor Andy Nominous nope!

"Rare Victory" The Go-Betweens _G Stands For Go-Betweens: The Go-Betweens Anthology, Vol. 1_

"Little Victories" Oh, Atoms _You Can't See The Stars From Here_

"Victory Walk" The Boy Bathing _A Fire To Make Preparations_

"Victory Is Coming" Joseph Spence & The Pinder Family _The Spring Of Sixty-Five_

"Chant Jah Victory" Errol Alphonso _Yabby You: Jesus Dread 1972-1977 Volume Two_

"Victory Is Near" Judy Mowatt _Rock Me_

a discussion of idioms using "victory"

"What Price Victory?" The Outcasts _Acid Visions: The Complete Collection, Vol. 2_

"You're The Victor" Q65 _Revolution_

"Victory!" Jay & The Techniques _Apples, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie_

"The Lost Victory" Lilys _The 3 Way_

"Savage Victory" Thee Oh Sees _Drop_

"A Vain Victory" Kissing Party _Looking Back It Was Romantic But At The Time I Was Suffocating_

conclusion & goodbye

"Victory (with Uhuru-Yenzu)" Ebo Taylor _Life Stories (Highlife & Afrobeat Classics 1973-1980)_

"Set The Tone/Victory" Bernie Worrell _Pieces Of Woo: The Other Side_

"A Victory Dance" Julian Cope _Self Civil War_

* "Peace, Victory, Two Fingers - featuring the hand of the originator of the Sustainability Symbol (3 fingers) - Philip McMaster" by Philip McMaster PeacePlusOne_\!/ is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Whither Victory?

(image from here)

According to this site, there is a difference between a "victory" & a "win" is this:

"Victory" means that you have been victorious or you have gained in some form of direct competition, as could be a battle. In the beginning this term was only used in the context of wars & battles (now its use is more common & generalized).

"Winning" is can have a more subjective character. To succeed, it does not necessarily require that an opponent be defeated; since the win depends on what is what the person considers success, & success is something quite subjective; everyone has a particular idea about what it is.

One can win by overcoming a fear, being the best in a competition, setting up the business you have always dreamed of, getting the desired job, etc.  But a victory requires one to act directly with regard to the matter you occupy. A win can be achieved by indirect means.

In my opinion, a victory is more impressive than a win.  To win a battle may be a good thing, but to achieve victory in a battle is the stuff of history books.  I mean, they didn't have "WE Day" or "WJ Day" at the end of World War II, did they?  Nope, we didn't just win in Europe & in Japan - we had victory in Europe & in Japan.

Plus, "win" can be both a noun & a verb.  "Victory" can only be a noun.  Also, Self Help Radio has already explored the theme of "winning," almost ten years ago.  I think it was during the dramatic drug-fueled downfall of Charlie Sheen, but no one remembers that guy, not even me.

If you need some victory in your life - some victories - listen to Self Help Radio tonight on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland, online at kboo.fm, from midnight to 3am.  Three hours of victory.  You will emerge victorious!

Preface To Victory: A Lifetime Of Losing

On a dogwalk today I talked to the wife about how my family's insane competitive spirit basically cured me of finding any joy or really anything good in winning, in wanting to win, in competing at all.

My mother, who believed that boys were basically stupid creatures driven by the most base instincts, & who also believed women were superior but flawed because they couldn't get along (or outright despised one another), & who therefore believed women let boys ostensibly run the world because it kept them busy & let women have time to themselves, she favored her sons over her daughters.  She thought her daughters were inherently better & would get by with a minimal amount of attention.  Her sons, however, were weak, inept creatures who need constant attention, much of which (in her mind) was keeping them away from danger.  She made me & my four brothers into consummate cowards by teaching us to fear & avoid conflict.  But!

She also wanted us to believe we were special.  She found a way to make each of us believe that we were her favorite - & not only that, that were somehow better than the others.  I can't say any of this was a conscious decision - my own sense is that she learned almost all of this from her mother - but what ended up happening was that my brothers & I began to see ourselves as rivals for her attention & affection.  For my mother, having five boys fighting over her must have been quite a thrill.  For us, it absolutely destroyed any brotherly feelings we might have for one another - after all, who feels sympathy, empathy, or affection for his antagonist?

For a kid growing up in this milieu - I was the fourth of five children, & my oldest brother was nearly eighteen years older than I was - it led to things I found quite baffling.  I remember playing tennis with my brother Steve, who is eleven years older than I am, when I was just a kid.  I was either in the last years of elementary school or the first years of middle school - let's just say I was eleven.  That meant he was twenty-two.  He was a grown man, naturally better at any sport than I was, & yet he absolutely destroyed me on the tennis court.  His taunting & his aggressive playing reduced me to tears.  He was however full of joy & triumph.  An outsider might judge it one of the happiest moments of his life.

The idea of simply batting a tennis ball around with his much younger brother would never have occurred to him.

Here's another example, with my little brother, who is a year younger than I am.  We lived in apartments & at one point, he & I were the oldest children there.  One autumn afternoon found us playing a game of football on the lawn of a nearby church.  I was probably 13, my brother Chris was 12.  Most of the other kids were 10 or younger.  I wasn't in any way athletic (I never have been) but I was bigger than Chris & able to tackle him.  He found this intolerable, & got the kids to complain I was "too big" to play.  That it was "unfair."  They basically refused to play unless I quit.  As I walked away in a huff, I noticed my brother was now unstoppable, & he ran circles around the other kids.

In both these cases, it's important to note it wasn't a simple game being played; it was a contest, one in which the victor had to be the kind of superior being my mother told us we were.  Cheating & humiliation were never off the table, because winning was everything.

Of course my brothers would disagree completely with this.  But I would point out that most of them never really achieved any real status or lofty goals in life, with the possible exception of reproducing, & their children seem to be fond of them.  But for people who have toiled their entire lives in mostly low-paying jobs, with broken relationships & marriages, with all of them having to return home to live with my mother when life laid them low - they have extraordinary self-esteem.  It's almost supernatural.

It probably seems self-serving to say that somehow I broke the spell.  It was a gradual process, & it involved many experiences, including terrible encounters with competition in school which I found just painful.  Perhaps because I did have outside validation, aside from my mother - I did very well, grade-wise, & my brothers did not (two of them dropped out) - I could look into my family situation from a unique perspective.  But I would recognize in the greedy, desperate way people wanted to win in school functions - from spelling bees to a college-bowl-like group I was in in high school - the same demeanor I saw in my brothers.  & I didn't like it & I want any of that.

Honestly, I don't like the person it turns me into.  Because I know that feeling's in me.

To bring this back to my wife: we used to have friends over for game night.  I found it nice to have people over but my wife was a terrible loser & an even worse winner.  She claims much of it was bravado, & maybe it was, but it reminded me too much of my childhood.  I don't do game night or play games like that anymore.  The few online games I played, I refuse to play with other people, preferring to play the game's AI.  It is a wound my mother left me that just doesn't heal.

So in some ways for me to do a radio show about victory, which is this week's theme, is silly - I don't have any interest in victory.  To my brothers, I am the consummate loser - & certainly luckier than most losers they've known.  Which makes what I've lived a lifetime of losing.  & I have no problem whatsoever with that.

What To Do At This Hour

In case you know what time it is.  If not, time is available on your electronic device.  Which is not to say it's actually time.  It's telling the time.  How weird it would be to not know the time.  Although for most of history most humans didn't know the time.  & if you knew the time & wrote it down, most humans could not have read the time.  We didn't know how to read or how to tell the time.  Most of the time.

It seems like it was important at one time to teach children how to tell the time.  Do they still do that?  Or has that technology gone the way of dialing a telephone?  It seems we should keep analog clocks around just so a child knows how to tell the time - the way at radio stations you should teach an aspiring disc jockey how to play a record even if they just want to use their laptops.

Not to brag, but I know how to tell the time.  & seeing what time it is, I think I might finish this book about swear words I've been reading.  Because I also know how to read.  Imagine that.

Picture Of The Place Where I Currently Live

(I have better pictures of my home but I can't find

them right now, so this is from Google Maps.)

So ends this series of pictures of places I've lived in my little more than a half-century on planet Earth.  This is the 23rd place I've lived in since I was four.  I could probably quiz my family to find out how many places I lived in before that - it's probably three, but it could be two or four - my mother in her old age couldn't really remember, either, that's how chaotic life was at the time with my alcoholic father.

In previous installments, I've made a list of my favorite places to live.  In general, this list is limited to houses we've owned - I don't know if I think about any rental (with the exception of the places on Depew & Red River) as spaces I would call "favorite."  But here is my list of the places we've owned as my favorites:

1. Bal Lake (Fort Worth)

2. Insley (Portland - where I live now)

3. Southbend (Lexington)

4. Ridgemont (Austin)

5. Neel (Huntington)

That appears to be it - oh my! We've owned five houses in around sixteen years!

The reason the Fort Worth house is my favorite is that it was the perfect size for us & for our animals.  It had a lovely back yard & lovely neighbors.  In many ways, my wife designed it for us - she gutted the place & built it up according to her specifications.  She designed the kitchen for me.  She knew where everything needed to be.

She did very much the same for the Lexington house, but it was way too big for us.  Too many rooms, too much space.  I loved the place, but the yard, the house, the space - too big.

Both of those houses also suffered from where they were located: in Fort Worth, in Lexington.  We were never going to be happy there.

The Austin house benefitted from being in Austin - & from my initial belief I'd be living there the rest of my life.  But looking back, while I loved it, I kinda wish we'd had the money to make it closer to my wife' vision - I trust her completely.  & the Huntington house - it was three floors, in a dying city, which held no future for us.

As for where I live now - why is it second?  Portland has been awesome so far (pandemic notwithstanding).  But this house wasn't built for us.  We liked its layout - else we wouldn't have bought it!  & we saw some homes that we thought we'd have to compromise for - some real screwy layouts & that bane of weird purchases, the unfinished basement.  No, the house we currently inhabit feels like we chose it because it's what we like - or at least what my wife likes.

Seriously, when we first saw the house, I was struck by house perfect it was for her - & she acted completely unimpressed.  She later said it was the price that turned her off - but it blinded her to what was the most perfect for her home we had seen as we were looking.  & we almost didn't go see it.  So - had we not gone - had she stuck to her guns & felt it was too expensive - we might be living in a "compromise house" - worried about the weird smell coming from the unfinished basement.

But nope!  This is a good place to live.  & it's my second favorite in my favorite city in which I've lived.  That seems a kind of victory. 

Not that I'm trying to tie this into next week's theme or anything.

Self Help Radio 030221: Lords & Ladies

(original image here)

Welcome to Self Help Radio Castle. We hope you understand you'll have to leave your subjects (servant & vassal) outside the moat, preferably in the stables.  Lords & ladies only.  We have our own staff who will take care of your every need.  A sumptuous radio feast has been prepared, & for three hours you will hear a celebration of all you are.  Because if there's one thing the nobility lack in history, it's attention.

Therefore please enjoy this week's Self Help Radio, which is about lords & ladies.  Sometimes specific ladies & lords, sometimes metaphorical lords & ladies.  What is important is that they are lords & ladies & not those of the lower, or "working," classes.  It's good to hear music & talk about one's betters.

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  For those of an aristocratic bent, the show is free to listen to; if you are not, it will ask you for a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp).  In addition to music, there were conversations & reports - the details are below.

More wine, dogsbody!

Self Help Radio Lords & Ladies Show

"Milord" Mo-Dettes _The Story So Far_

"M'Lady" Sly & The Family Stone _Life_

"Royalty Capes" De La Soul _And The Anonymous Nobody_

introduction & definitions

"Little Lord Fontleroy" Quasi _The Sword Of God_

"Lady Macbeth & Miss Havisham" Hiccup _Imaginary Enemies_

"Lord Byron" Carl Reiner & Mel Brooks _2000 & Thirteen_

"Lady Fancy Knickers" Momus _Otto Spooky_

"Lord Of The Manor" Dan Melchior's Broke Revue _Lords Of The Manor_

interview with Lady Penelope of the Portland House Of Westmoreland

"Lady D'Arbanville" Cat Stevens _Mona Bone Jakon_

"Lord Lovatt" Jeannie Robertson _The Queen Among The Heather_

"I Saw My Lady Weeping" W. H. Auden _An Evening Of Elizabethan Verse & Its Music_

"Lord Randal" Abner Jay _Folk Song Stylist_

"Lady Boston" The Good, The Bad, & The Queen _Merrie Land_

interview with castle architect Claud Douglas

"Day Of The Lords" Joy Division _Unknown Pleasures_

"Lady MacBeth" The Rock*A*Teens _Sixth House_

"Lord Stockton" Peter Cook _Obsolete Rubbish From The Peter Cook Appreciation Society_

"Lady Montego" Ayers Rock _Big Red Rock_

"Lord Of Alaska" Shannon Shaw _Shannon In Nashville_

interview with the Lady Daniela Black

"Lady Blue" Wild Nothing _Life Of Pause_

"Lord Of All I Survey" The Chills _Snow Bound_

"Lady Jane" Paddy Roberts _Songs For Gay Dogs_

"Lord Maxwell's Last Goodnight" June Tabor _An Echo Of Hooves_

"Lady Waters & The Hooded One" Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians _Element Of Light_

Ned Dry interrupts to talk of Lady Godiva

"Lady Godiva" Pooh & The Heffalumphs _Laurie Vocal Groups: Lost Masters & Hidden Treasures, Vol. 5_

"Lady Godiva" Peter & Gordon _The Ultimate Peter & Gordon_

"The Ballad Of Lady Godiva" King Khan & The Shrines _What Is?!_

"Lady Godiva's Diary" Soul Merchants _1985-1987_

"Lady Godiva" Kristin Hersh _Possible Dust Clouds_

"Lady Godiva's Operation" The Velvet Underground _Peel Slowly & See_

Marge Most reports from Lord&LadyCon

"There Was An Old Lord" Ewan MacColl & Peggy Seeger _The Long Harvest (Record One)_

"Lady Of Carlisle" Ian & Sylvia _The Complete Vanguard Studio Recordings_

"Lord Lucan Is Missing" Black Box Recorder _England Made Me_

"The Ballad Of Lady Yarmouth" The Harvest Ministers _Orbit_

"Lord Anthony" Belle & Sebastian _Dear Catastrophe Waitress_

"Lady Sunshine" Tamam Shud _Golden Miles (Australian Progressive Rock 1969-1974)_

conclusion & goodbye

"Royal Screw Up" Soccer Mommy _Color Theory_

"Lord Gregory" Judy Collins _Judy Collins' Fifth Album_

"Things That A Lady Ain't Supposed To Do" The Four Dynamics _Atlanta Soul: The Peachtree Records Story_

"New Lord" Elf Power _In A Cave_

Whither Lords & Ladies?

(image from here)

You are cordially invited a regal gathering of the finest in songs celebrating the aristocracy, those of very high birth.  Lords & their ladies, ladies & their lords.  Quite a few ladies alone, as well as several unaccompanied lords.  Possibly some servants doing their jobs & skillfully remaining unseen, but almost certainly no peasants.  None of that.  No.  Not allowed.

Rumors that Self Help Radio is celebrating lords & ladies in order to obtain a patronage are without merit.  The truth is, we hadn't thought about it until we heard the rumor.  So should some deep-pocketed member of the peerage see fit to shower the show with financial support, we would gladly move into the dungeon, wear the court jester outfit, & attempt to amuse our betters.  But that was not our intention.  Honestly, we just thought it would be a fun show.

Listen tonight (Monday) at midnight (which is actually Tuesday) till 3am.  In addition to truly noble songs, we'll talk to a Lady in Portland, a castle builder, & an actual member of British royal family.  You can listen at 90.7fm if you're in the fiefdom of Portland, & at kboo.fm all over the kingdom.

Please listen!  It may turn your blood blue.

Preface To Lords & Ladies: Happy Valley

Before I watched Monty Python's Flying Circus, I listened to their records & I looked at their books.  Since their records & their books often were recreated (for their particular medium) from sketches that had appeared on the show, I often felt a weird familiarity when I saw the shows the first few times.  It's like I had listened to an audiobook or something of an episode of Star Trek, & finally saw the show.  Especially if Shatner & Nimoy did the voices in the audio book.

The reason I read the books & heard the records before seeing the shows is that my older brothers had them, & they were around, & I was a kid who loved to read & play records.  I didn't understand a lot of it - probably most of it - the Travel Agent sketch was a real mystery to me - but it was compelling enough that I would return to it again & again.  The books were even better - they were like Mad Magazine translated from a foreign language & delighted in being inscrutable & incomprehensible.  I love that.

There is a sketch I believe on Monty Python's Previous Record - imagine an album with that as a title! - called "Happy Valley" & it never appeared on any episode of the show I ever saw.  I loved it so.  A long form fairy tale with weird singing & a completely nonsensical story.  What a delight.

The reason I am bringing this up is I thought about playing it tomorrow night on the show, but it's really about a king & princess, & not necessarily about lords & ladies.  I guess I am trying to describe how stupidly rigid I can be when deciding content for the show.  That's not worth four paragraphs & minutes of your time, & I'm sorry, but wait, there's more!

The Pythons did film the "Happy Valley" sketch (it's much more like their long-form work in their last season) & but strangely enough for German TV & it never aired.  But of course there's Youtube.  & I just watched it for the very first time.  Imagine.  & you can watch it now too!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/o0LUUFQ4MNM" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

You're welcome.

A Little Leftover Attitude

During the show I have a text line & three or four dedicated texters who like to send me stuff (well, I ask for stuff too) related to the show.  A fellow named Zaki sent me this photo on Tuesday morning:

He wanted me to say "photo by Zaki."  He texted: "This was my grandma's Attitude Adjuster.  She had it hanging above the door to her library office."

There was no way for someone on Twitter to know about this photo, but this happened Tuesday:

Here's a little leftover attitude for you.  & hey!  Look at how much fun it is to text the show & to interact on Twitter.  Why aren't you doing that?

(I hope Zaki doesn't get mad I didn't specifically name him on Twitter.)

Some Films With Attitude

(image from the IMDb)

This week on Self Help Radio - did you miss it? - it was our show about attitude.  Hey!  Don't take that attitude with me!  You can still listen to it over on the Self Help Radio website.  & when you do, you'll hear another installment of Chuck's Happily Unsophisticated Cinema Korner in which our resident cinephile explored some films featuring characters with built-in bad attitudes: juvenile delinquents.  You can listen to the episode to hear Chuck's thoughts, but:

He has prepared a Youtube playlist, two IMDb lists, & some Letterbox reviews.  Check it out:

The Youtube Playlist

The IMDb list of films tagged "juvenile deliquent"

The IMDb list of films tagged with "psychotronic"* & "juvenile delinquent"

Chuck's Letterboxd reviews

Keep up with the films Chuck is watching on his Twitter feed - he'll let you know what films he'll discuss the next time he's on the show!  If this doesn't change your attitude, you might need an attitude adjustment.  Use these films as an attitude check.

*If you're like me, & have never heard the term "psychotronic" before, try this link: toward a definition of psychotronic film.

Self Help Radio 022321: Attitude

(The "attitude color palette" in the background is from here.)

Self Help Radio copped an attitude this week.  Deal with it!  Or is that a "toxic attitude"?  Because if it is, according to this website, the first thing you should do to deal with a toxic attitude is "offer an ear to listen."  Which is exactly what a radio show wants from you, attitude or not!

So do listen.  After all, as one texter remarked to me during the show, "I think you have a good attitude, but you put yourself down a lot, which is humble & humorous!"  Seriously, it's the first person to ever suggest I might have a good attitude.

Listen now at the Self Help Radio website, selfhelpradio.net.  Please remember you'll need a username (it's SHR) & a password (it's selfhelp) if you visit.  You can also listen at kboo.fm although you'll have to listen to spots at the beginning & the show will fade out during the last song.  The vagaries of radio!  Everything that happened on the show is detailed below.

Self Help Radio Attitude Show

"(I Can Have) Attitude" Romanovsky & Phillips _I Thought You'd Be Taller!_

"Attitude" Pablo Moses _The Itinuation_

"Stretch The Attitude" Hula _Cut From Inside_

introduction & definitions

"Don't Take That Attitude To Your Grave" Ben Harper _Welcome To The Cruel World_

"I Got An Attitude" Antoinette _Hurby's Machine: The House That Rap Built_

"Attitudes" Norma Loy _Attitudes_

"Attitude Check" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_

"Bad Attitude" Lisa Germano _Happiness_

Chuck's Happily Unsophisticated Cinema Korner discusses films featuring those attitudinal brats, juvenile delinquents

"Attitude Dance" Tower Of Power _Monster On A Leash_

"Attitude" A Place To Bury Strangers _Pinned_

"Attitude" The Slickee Boys _:30 Over D.C. - Here Comes The New Wave!_

"Kill Your Attitude" Darwin Deez _Double Down_

"Bitch With A Bad Attitude" Saffire - The Uppity Blues Women _Old, New, Borrowed, & Blue_

interview with self-help author Scott Raymond mountain climber Giorgio Franklin

"Negative Attitude" Lloyd Cole & The Negatives _The Negatives_

"Dig Your Attitude" The Booby Traps _Makin' It With The Booby Traps_

"New Attitude" The Babe Rainbow _Double Rainbow_

"Angel With An Attitude" The Ditty Bops _Moon Over The Freeway_

"Rude Attitude" The DJ Producer _The Cosmic Forces Of Mu_

interview with professional wrestler Mr Attitude

"Change Of Attitude" Bourgie Bourgie _Careless_

"Nasty Attitude" Walter Brown _The Chronological Walter Brown 1947-1951_

"Attitudes" Bar-Kays _Flying High On Your Love_

"Attitude" Brass Construction _Attitudes_

"Serious Attitude" Twin Hype _Twin Hype_

interview with high school guidance counselor Andy

"Common Attitude" Thomas Edisun's Electric Light Bulb Band _The Red Day Album_

"The Attitude" The Sugar Shoppe _The Sugar Shoppe_

"Romantic Attitude" John Fitch & Associates _The Rubble Collection 8_

"Practising Attitudes" Brian Protheroe _Brian's Big Box_

"The Girl With The Attitude Problem" Dead Famous People _Arriving Late In Torn & Filthy Jeans_ "Attitude" The Kinks _Low Budget_

a discussion of the "punk" attitude

"Attitude" Misfits _Collection II_

"Attitudes" Marie & Les Garçons _Kid Loco: AnotherLateNight_

"Attitude" Bad Brains _Black Dots_

"Bad Attitude" Testors _Complete Recordings 1976-79_

"Attitudes" The Brat _Attitudes_

"Bad Attitude" The Joneses _Tits & Champagne_

"Drop The Attitude Fucker" The Queers _Beat Off_

"Attitude" Chit Chat _Chit Chat 7"_

"Attitude" Mika Miko _666_

conclusion & goodbye

"The Attitude" NTNT _PDX Pop Now! 2013_

"Attitude Up" Lamont Dozier _Inside Seduction_

"Attitude" Hardknox _Hardknox_

Whither Attitude?

(image from here)

Isn't it time a nineteen-year-old self-help radio program had a show about attitude?  Just look at some of the quotes about attitude you can find online:

"A bad attitude is like a flat tire. If you don’t change it, you’ll never go anywhere." (attributed to Joyce Meyer)

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." (Lou Holz)

"Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude." (Zig Ziglar - & do not let him choose the pilot if you're flying with him!)

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." (Khalil Gibran)

"When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude." (Richard Pryor)

That's as self-helpy as Self Help Radio gets.  Though tonight we will talk to a self-help author!

Yes, tonight!  Self Help Radio is on for three long hours from midnight to 3am on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland.  Technically it's Tuesday morning but for most of us, it's Monday night.  If it were up to me, I'd have every new day start around 5am.  But it's not up to me.  So.  You know.

Midnight to 3am!  90.7fm!  kboo.fm!  It's all attitude tonight!

Preface To Attitude: Preceding Essence

There's an old argument you get to learn about in first-year philosophy classes.  It's debating the answer to this: "Does existence precede essence?"  The answer "existence precedes essence" is the subject of a Wikipedia page focusing on existentialism.  It says, in part, "The proposition that existence precedes essence is a central claim of existentialism, which reverses the traditional philosophical view that the essence (the nature) of a thing is more fundamental & immutable than its existence (the mere fact of its being). To existentialists, human beings - through their consciousness - create their own values & determine a meaning for their life because the human being does not possess any inherent identity or value. That identity or value must be created by the individual. By posing the acts that constitute them, they make their existence more significant."

The Wikipedia page mentions Kierkegaard but I almost certainly encountered the thought in the writings of Jean-Paul Sartre (& before college philosophy class!).  I agree with them for the most part, since it would make absolutely no sense for someone to have any qualities before they existed - like an essence - though I don't know if I generally follow through with existential conclusions.  I just know as someone who doesn't believe in anything supernatural - primarily because I have never seen any convincing evidence that such things exist - it only follows that essence simply cannot precede existence.  How would it do so outside of supernatural explanations?*

This is on my mind because of an exchange that happened in my high school days with my "best friend" - the fellow with whom I spent a great deal of time but who, it turned out, was never really much of a friend.  His reasons for spending time with me remain murky, but almost certainly the entire time he held me in a great deal of contempt, as his later actions would demonstrate.  But let me attempt to diminish the hateful, truly cruel things he would do to me in the future that revealed to me how he completely despised me, & let me instead remember a moment from those days, when something he said struck me as wise.

He probably doesn't remember this at all, but since I loved & admired him, I tended to pay attention to things he said.  The context was that someone had accused me of having a bad attitude.  I'm not sure who had done that - probably someone at school - but it was something that weighed heavily on me.  I didn't even know what an attitude was, I wasn't even sure how to delineate between a good & bad attitude.  But I had definitely had discussions with him about the essence & existence chicken-egg situation.

So I asked him, "How important is one's attitude?"

He said, pithily, "Attitude precedes essence."

Even now that seems both very clever & quite wise.  To know such a thing at eighteen, well.  There was a reason that I admired him.  & the truth is, had I stayed a quiet & reverent disciple, we might have stayed close.  But of course I wanted & needed a friend.  & friends shouldn't & obviously can't openly despise their friends, right?

Still: "Attitude precedes essence."  That's good, right?  Credit where it's due.

* Perhaps in a genetic sense.  But that's not what the "essence precedes existence" crowd generally postulates.  As far as I know.

Photographs Of Places I've Lived # 22: SE 62nd Ave.

(image from Google Maps)

We've come to the end of this series.  Not counting the places the family lived before my mother left my father in 1972 - which may have been as many as three different homes, but no one in the family can tell me addresses for sure - I have lived in twenty-three different places.  As I am now 53, that averages out to about two years & four months per home.  I'm not sure how that compares to most people - or even to the rest of my family!  From around 1989 until 2017, for example, my mother lived in the same place.  During that time, I have lived in about fifteen or sixteen different places - & before that, she & I lived in the same place from the time I was born until 1986.

This is the rental we lived when we first moved to Portland.  That picture is from August 2019, so we were living in this house when it was taken.  I used to sit on that chair to change shoes when we went for walks in the rain.  The little room to the right of the front door was where my computer & music collection was, so I would've been in there most of the time (unless you count sleeping) (& since the car is not in the driveway, we were probably not home when the Google car drove by).

The place was too big - three or four bedrooms (if you count the little room in the front, it was four), three bathrooms, two floors.  Two of the rooms we basically used for storage.  One of our dogs is geriatric, so the stairs were a problem.  Oh, & we paid way too much for rent - because we had three dogs.  We never told the landlord about the cats.  We learned that trick back in Kentucky.  We rented the house two months before we moved - we visited in March, & didn't want to repeat the Fort Worth experience where we came to a place sight unseen.

Still, we loved the neighborhood & we had excellent neighbors, whom we met the day we drove in.  The wife began looking for a place to buy almost immediately - & in fact the place we did buy is about a third of a mile away, although we did look elsewhere.  On the whole, we were happy here - by the time we left, I was doing two shows on the Portland airwaves & volunteering at three excellent stations.

This series ends because the 23rd place I used to live is currently the place I live.  Like a paraphrase of the Mitch Hedberg joke, "I used to live on Insley Street.  I still do, but I used to, too."  Maybe I'll talk about it next week.  But if you've been paying attention, last week I said that the house is Fort Worth was my favorite place to live, & I think I said that the house in Lexington (the one we owned) was my third.  The place I currently live is my second favorite place to live.

The one up there?  It was okay I suppose for a stopover.  I felt bad because it didn't have much of a yard, so I felt my sweet pup Pauline was missing her excellent Fort Worth backyard, & we started walking them twice a day to make up for it.  We continue to do that even though she has a much better yard now.  Maybe it turned out we needed those walks, too.

Souvenirs Of The Souvenirs Show

At some point during the souvenirs show on Tuesday morning, I asked listeners (assuming there were any) to send me pics on the show's text line (which is 971 319 4847) of their own collections of souvenirs.

One person chose to humor me - & I asked his permission to share them on the blog.  He said yes as long as I credit them to "Jerome Zone In The Jerome Zone."  So, here are the souvenirs by Jerome Zone In The Jerome Zone:

He wanted me to make sure I let you know that the Ramones pick above is actually one that Johnny Ramone used, which makes it officially cooler than any souvenir I currently have.

You can share your souvenirs in photos in the comments to the blog, if you want.

Thanks Jerome Zone In The Jerome Zone!

Self Help Radio 021621: Souvenirs

(Original image here.)

You've visited.  You had your experience.  Now it's time to get a souvenir!  What kind of souvenir do you want?  There's a shop with some things.  Also there are craftspeople who make stuff, they're over there.  Oh! A tee shirt!  I'll bet you can find a tee shirt!  Or there's one of those people who'll draw you in a grotesque manner.  That's fun!  They're all souvenirs.  They're all keepsakes, mementos to remember that you were here.  Things to display or show.  Just pick one!  Or two!

Or you know what?  Why not just listen to a radio show about souvenirs?  There are lots of songs about souvenirs & there are interviews with people who run souvenir shops & stuff like that on the very same show!  It turns out that this week's Self Help Radio is about souvenirs!  What?  No way!  It's true!

The show is in two handy places depending on where you want to listen.  You can go to the Self Help Radio KBOO page, it's there.  You can also listen at the Self Help Radio website, where you'll need a username & password, which are SHR & selfhelp.  There are playlists at both places but below are details about what you'll hear in-between the songs.

Sorry we don't have any keychains with your name on them!

Self Help Radio Souvenirs Show

"Souvenirs" John Prine _Diamonds In The Rough_

"Souvenirs Of A Heartbreak" Thelma Jones _Second Chance: The Complete Barry & Columbia Recordings_

"Souvenirs" The Concretes _Hey Trouble_

introduction & definitions

"Souvenir From A Dream" Tom Verlaine _Tom Verlaine_

"From Souvenirs To Souvenirs" The Three Degrees _A Toast Of Love_

"Souvenirs" Architecture In Helsinki _Fingers Crossed_

"Lembranças" As Mercenárias _The Beginning Of The End Of The World: Brasilian Post-Punk 1982-88_

"Souvenir Of Mexico" The Silvertones _Silver Bullets_

interview with Graceland souvenir shop proprietor Daniel Black

"I Always Get A Souvenir" Tommy Collins _Blackcat_

"Among My Souvenirs" Judy Garland _Alone_

"Souvenir Of Summer" Bill Pritchard _Jolie_

"Tears & Souvenirs" The Stylistics _Thank You Baby_

"Souvenir" Saxophone _Souvenir_

interview with local entrepreneur Regis Regis

"Sad Souvenirs" The Four Tops _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 5: 1965_

"Souvenirs" The Drifters _Let The Boogie-Woogie Roll (Greatest Hits 1953-1958)_

"Souvenir d'Afrique" Boulpik _Konpa Lakay_

"Souvenir" Almadrava _All You Left Us_

"Souvenirs" Gretchen Peters _Trio_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Souvenir Souvenir (Part 1)" Kuruki _TV Scape_

"A Terrible Souvenir" Bricolage _Bricolage_

"Souvenirs Of Stefan" Dana Gillespie _Foolish Seasons_

"Souvenir" Pink Martini _Je Dis Oui!_

"Souvenir" AgesandAges _Alright You Restless_

interview with souvenir skeptic Dr. Frederick Smoot

"(Thanks For The) Summer Souvenirs" Bill Haley & His Comets _The Decca Years & More_

"Les Souvenirs Les Souvenirs" France Cartigny _France Cartigny_

"Souvenir Souvenir" Stereo Total _Oh Ah_

"Le Temps Des Souvenirs" Françoise Hardy _Françoise Hardy_

"Souvenir D'Italie" Connie Francis _The Italian Collection Volume Two_

"Souvenir" Valley Below _Running Rites_

three souvenir haiku from Polish poet Jadwiga Lukasz

"Broken Heart For A Souvenir" Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys _Faded Love 1947-1973_

"Souvenirs & Californian Memories" Billie Jo Spears _Faded Love_

"Goner w/ Souvenir" Richard Buckner _Since_

"Pictures Are My Only Souvenirs" Peter Courtney _Guys Go Pop! Volume II 1966-1967_

"Souvenirs Of Summertime" The Rays _30 Original Golden Oldies_

"Souvenirs" Shout Out Louds _Ease My Mind_

conclusion & goodbye

"Les Portes Du Souvenir" Les Nubians _Princesses Nubiennes_

"Souvenir Souvenir" Oswald Kouame _Gninfangui_

"Tristes Souvenirs" Molly Johnson _Messin' Around_

"Souvenirs" J Fernandez _Many Levels Of Laughter_

"Souvenir Of 1969" The Thieves _Soul Thief 12"_

"Souvenirs" Barbara Evans _Rockin' Boppin' Girls_

Whither Souvenirs?

(image from here.)

Do you like souvenirs?  Do you collect souvenirs?  Do you have a cabinet or other place in your home where you show off souvenirs?  Or are you a reluctant gatherer of souvenirs?  Are they forced upon you by person with whom your travel?  Do you sometimes acquire them out of obligation but imbue them with no real meaning?  Does it sometimes feel like the process of getting souvenirs is a memory you'd rather not have of a journey?

These seven questions form the basis of this week's Self Help Radio, which is a show about souvenirs.  In fact, if those questions were an essay test, this week's Self Help Radio would be the actual three-hour essay composed during the exam.  Although it probably won't be as depressing as a test.  Though it might be as depressing as watching someone taking a test.  Or listening?  Probably more like listening.

With that, I remind you that Self Help Radio's show about souvenirs airs tonight on KBOO from midnight to 3am.  That's on 90.7 fm & online at kboo.fm.  Afterwards you can keep or throw it away!

Preface To Souvenirs: Power Off

(Image from the Portland General Twitter account.)

Power went out tonight.  Ice covers everything.  Phone on low-power mode.  Might not be able to live tweet Dickenbock Report in the morning.  Of course!  This is a souvenir of the weird cold ice snow we've been having!  Because it's all about Self Help Radio.

Photographs Of Places I've Lived # 21: Bal Lake Dr.

That's not the greatest picture of the house we owned in Fort Worth, Texas, but it's a picture I took one night when I took the trash out.  It was a lovely house.  It is the best place I ever lived.  I miss it a great deal.

If you've been keeping up with this series, you'll know there's a common occurrence in home buying: my wife finds a place, I don't like it, she sees something in the place, she fixes it up to make it magic.  This is certainly true for the house on Bal Lake Drive.  It was a weird, claustrophobic home whose charm eluded me.  When my wife was done with it, it was a magnificent place to live.

When we moved in, in late 2016, we had a menagerie of four cats & four dogs.  When we left, in May of 2019, we were down to three of each.  My sweet loves Ringo & Beatrice died in that house - we had a doctor come to end their suffering, not all at once, when it was their time.  I would have stayed there for the rest of my life just in honor of them, they were so amazing & great.  But the house was in Fort Worth, in Texas, in a place where I & my wife had no future.

We had amazing neighbors, don't get me wrong.  We lived in a lovely subdivision.  We were comfortable.  But we had no future.

It occurred to me when thinking about this today, that even though I was able to do radio while living there - I had a show on KNON - I never did Self Help Radio live while I lived in this house.  Imagine!  I recorded a show to be aired on WLXU in Lexington for a time, & after that did the show as a podcast.  I sat in that house, which I loved, & recorded so many fake interviews, & put together so many shows, & they were never live.  Three years of Self Help Radio not live.

Some friends in Kentucky couldn't believe we'd leave the house we had there.  They're still in Kentucky, they don't seem to share my apprehension of that state.  The house in Kentucky on Southbend was sublime but it was too big for us.  The house on Bal Lake was perfect.  Okay, the yard might have been too big (though not for Pauline, who loved it).  The pecan trees were a pain in the ass (though the dogs did love crunching all the nuts that fell).  & Texas is just way too hot for too many months of the year.  & let's not forget the fucking Trump & Ted Cruz signs we had to endure.

But the house itself.  Unbelievably perfect for us.  I can't believe I'll never step foot in it.  We were barely there for what, two & a half years?  Yet it's imprinted on my DNA.  I think there's a part of me that still moves around it like a spirit.  I can see outside its every window.  I know every step to take, I can find anything - anything - you need me to find in that place.  I cooked meals, I fed animals, I watched television & films, I danced, I drank too much, I cleaned up, I made a mess, I turned all the lights off at night in that house.

It seems nice folks bought it.  They for some reason painted the brick exterior white.  Ah well.

One last thing.  There was a great oak in the front yard.  A gorgeous thing.  When workers were in the neighborhood, they had lunch under that tree.  I sometimes watched them.  & I understood.

Here's a picture from Google Maps.  This is from 2018.  I think we scandalized some of our retired elderly conservative neighbors with our Beto sign:

To jump ahead - the place I live in now in Portland is my second-favorite place I've lived.  I'll get to why it's second in a couple of weeks.  But let me just say, gosh.  That was a great house.  I loved that place.  I really did.

-----

As a postscript, I'd like to point you to the posts I wrote about Ringo - that's a link - & about Beatrice, also a link (the names).  In case you care.

Valentine's Day Films

(Image from IMDb.)

If you heard this week's Valentine's episode of Self Help Radio - & if you didn't, you can do so at the Self Help Radio website! - you heard another installment of Chuck's Happily Unsophisticated Cinema Korner featuring two specific kinds of Valentine's movies: a selection of "psychotronic + love" films; & a selection of films in which hearts are ripped out of bodies.  Chuck is nothing if not a romantic.

He has prepared Youtube playlists & IMDb lists for each!  The links for those are:

Psychotronic + Love Youtube | Psychotronic + Love IMDb
Hearts Ripped Out Youtube | Hearts Ripped Out IMDb

If you're like me, & have never heard the term "psychotronic" before, Chuck has provided as link: toward a definition of psychotronic film.

Chuck is our resident cinephile & you can keep up with his film watching on his Twitter feed, & read his Letterbox reviews right here.  He keeps adding to these even after the show!

Happy Valentine's Day!  Hopefully there's something here for you to watch.  Especially if you, like me, are a bit snowed-in this holiday weekend.

Self Help Radio 020921: Valentine's Day 2021 - Make You Mine

(Original image here.)

Oh boy!  Just in time for Valentine's Day!  Well!  A bit early for Valentine's Day!  You will have likely forgotten all about this show when Valentine's Day rolls around!  Still!  A Valentine's Day episode of Self Help Radio!  Here it is!

Whew.  It's hard being so excited.  Especially about a collection of songs that feature the phrase "make you mine."  Or "make him mine."  Or "make her mine." Though looking at that playlist below, that's forty-five songs.  Why so possessive, o insecure lover?  Why must one be made yours?  Or his?  Or hers?  It's stunning that love needs to be owned in ways that aren't quite the same as experienced.

You can listen to the show now & on Valentine's Day & whenever you want at the show's website, Self Help Radio dot net.  (You can also listen to the show at the KBOO website.)  At the Self Help Radio site, there's a username & a password you'll require - those are SHR & selfhelp, respectively.  In addition to music, there are interviews, both of which are noted below.

Happy Valentine's Day!  Make it yours.

Self Help Radio Valentine's Day  Show 2021

"Make You Mine" Honey & The Bees _Dynamite!_

"Make You Mine" Question Mark & The Mysterians _Question Mark & The Mysterians_

"Make You Mine" The Drums _Summertime!_

introduction

"Gonna Make You Mine" Betty & The Bops _Pin-Up Confidential_

"Gonna Make You Mine" Brenda Holloway & Jess Harris _The Early Years: Rare Recordings 1962-1963_

"(She's So Fine) I Just Gotta Make Her Mine" Syl Johnson _Complete Mythology_

"I Can Hardly Make You Mine" Cults _Static_

"Make You Mine" Buju Banton _Rasta Got Soul_

interview with matchmaker Cory Cupid

"Can't Seem To Make You Mine" The Seeds _The Seeds_

"Gonna Make You Mine" The Red Button _She's About To Cross My Mind_

"Wanna Make Him Mine" The Emeralds _The Girl Group Sound Volume 2_

"Mind Over Matter (I'm Gonna Make You Mine)" The Pirates _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 2: 1962_

"(I Wanna) Make You Mine" MC Trouble _Gotta Get A Grip_

a talk with my youngest friends Alyssa & Jason

"(I Can't Seem To) Make You Mine" The Clientele _Strange Geometry_

"If I Could Make You Mine" The Love Notes _Rumble_

"I'm Gonna Make Her Mine" Billy Butler _Sugar Candy Lady_

"I'm Gonna Make You Mine" Little John _Ghetto Youth_

"Make You Mine" The Stems _Buds_

Chuck talks Valentine's movies for Chuck's Happily Unsophisticated Cinema Korner

"Gonna Make Him Mine (Tonight)" Pookie & The Poodlez _Young Adult_

"Make Him Mine" Susan Maughan _The Best Of Susan Maughan_

"I'm Gonna Make You Mine" Lou Christie _Glory River: The Buddah Years, 1968-1972_

"Make You Mine" George Jackson _In Muscle Shoals_

"Gonna Make You Mine" Anglo Saxon Brown _Songs For Evolution_

interview with my friend Edgar

"I'm Gonna Make You Mine" Johnny Daniel & The Soul Malibu's _Lost Soul Oldies: Rare & Hard To Find Oldies, Vol. 1_

"Make You Mine" Greatest Hits _Danse Pop_

"I'm Gonna Make Him Mine (Tonight)" The Donnas _The Donnas_

"Gonna Make Him Mine" The Orchids _Go Girl (Dream Babes Volume Four)_

"Make You Mine" Side Effect _Portraits_

a terrifying airbreak without background music!

"Gonna Make You Mine" Frank Frost _Jelly Roll King_ 

"I'm Gonna Make You Mine" The Shadows Of Knight _Nuggets (Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era 1965-1968)_

"I'll Make Her Mine" The Valiant Trio _Detroit Undercover: 30 Classic "Lost" 45s From The Motor City_

"Gonna Make You Mine, Girl" The Excels _Gonna Make You Mine, Girl_

"Gonna Make You Mine" Crimson Shadows _Declaration Of Fuzz_

the boring penultimate airbreak

"Gonna Spend My Time (To Make You Mine)" Orella Myers _Candy Doll_

"Gonna Make You Mine" Fabian _The Fabulous Fabian_

"I'll Make You Mine" Johnnie Ray _Cry_

"I Can Make You Mine" The Originells 4 _Nights_

"Make Her Mine" The Hipster Image _The Mod Scene_

"To Make You Mine" Robert Dobyne _Can't Get Along Without You_

conclusion & goodbye

"Got To Make You Mine" Pure Silk _Pure Lovers, Vol. 1_

"Make Her Mine" Mayer Hawthorne _A Strange Arrangement_

"Gotta Make You Mine" Velvet Crest _Gotta Make You Mine_

"I'm Gonna Make You Mine" The American Breed _Pumpkin, Powder, Scarlet, & Green_

"I'll Make You Mine" Thee Headcoats _Headcoats Down!_

"Make You Mine" Mellowmen _Tomorrow's Sound Today

Whither Make You Mine (Valentine's Day 2021)?

(This is the cover of a book. Read about it here.)

Yes, I am aware that Valentine's Day is nearly a week away.  The problem with only having a show on once a week is that, when you plan holiday shows, you run the risk of having a show that's chronologically nowhere near the actual holiday.  It's something that happens.  It's happening this week because the Self Help Radio Valentine's Show is five days before Valentine's Day.  & no one wants to think about Valentine's Day until it's looming over them like a calamity.

& what's with this theme "make you mine" anyway?  Surely this show doesn't believe love is possessive!  Or does this show not endorse its own themes?  Listen, argument I am having with myself, we explore themes without prejudice.  & it turns out there are more songs in which someone wants to "make you mine" than there are varieties of chocolates in the biggest box of chocolates you can buy online.  & that includes "make him mine" & "make her mine" songs too.

Don't believe me?  Fine, just tune in to 90.7 fm KBOO tonight at midnight (Portland time) to listen to three hours of Valentine fun on this week's Self Help Radio.  You can listen in town at the frequency above & you can listen online at kboo.fm.  It probably won't melt your cynical heart, but at the very least you'll hear a song or two you may enjoy.

Preface To Valentine's Day 2021: Make You Mine

Valentine's Day is one of those holidays on which I like to do a show but for which I also like to have a unique theme.  In the nearly nineteen years of Self Help Radio, I've done seventeen Valentine's Day show, & the themes of those shows have been:

2003: the first show, just general Valentine's stuff
2004: love
2005: hate
2007: crushes
2008: jealousy
2009: boyfriends
2010: girlfriends
2011: love songs
2012: lovesick
2013: love is...
2014: valentines
2015: famous lovers
2016: heartbreak
2017: sweethearts
2018: roses
2019: flirting
2020: the heart

The reason I didn't do a Valentine's Day show in 2006 is, I believe, because the building which housed my radio station had had a fire & was closed for a couple of weeks.  I have no idea what I had planned for that year - I suspect nothing.  I didn't plan ahead that much in those days.  In fact, there was a popular show on the local NPR affiliate in which the host would come up with a theme & have his interns find songs for him, & a couple of times when I was talking to people, they'd say, "Oh yeah, self-important NPR guy covered that theme last Thursday!"  One time a guy called me & asked if I were trying to copy him.  I said, "No, I don't even listen to his show."  "That's weird," the guy said, amazed.  "I wonder what that means."  I think we had both done shows about the devil.  Apparently my soul was in danger.

All this, by the way, from someone who's never really celebrated Valentine's Day.  I bought a few candy hearts to give to female friends on Valentine's Day in twelfth grade, but I don't think I meant them as anything more than platonic.  In fact, one of the women gave it back to me - she was mad at me at the time - & so I gave it to my mother, who was very touched.  I guess I never really did anything nice for her when I was a teenager.

This year I think the only thing the wife & I are looking forward to for Valentine's Day is the return of John Oliver's show.  But hopefully this week's Self Help Radio will also be a bit enjoyable.