Nashville Denial/Eclipse

Today I have two pictures from my past.

This is one of those pictures - it was taken six years ago in Lexington, Kentucky - that might be a hit on the internet if anyone ever saw this blog.  Or maybe not - what does "Nashville Denial" mean anyway?

Obviously, it's the back door of a place called Nashville Dental.  It's apparently a chain of dental offices.  Anyway, I thought it was funny.

& then, on this day four years ago:

There was a partial eclipse of the sun in Fort Worth.  I attempted, with my cheap camera, to capture it, & failed miserably.  Except!  If you look in the top left corner of the photo, you'll see a reflection of the partially eclipsed star.  My camera simply couldn't take all that light - but it did manage to capture a bit of the eclipse after all.  I think that's pretty cool.

Lunch On Film

(A screencap from Welcome To The Dollhouse that I found here.)

This week's show was about lunch, & although he admitted he's not a fan of lunch, our resident cinephile Chuck stopped by to talk about films with feature lunch.  What films?  You can listen to the show (like, I don't know, at the show's website) but also you can visit the following helpful links.

Here's Chuck's Twitter thread about lunch films.

Here's the YouTube playlist of films & other sundries related to lunch in film.

Chuck writes Letterboxd reviews of the films he watched - read them here.

Here's the IMDb list of films available to stream for free elsewhere.

& finally, the keyword searches:

Feature films tagged with "lunch."

Shorts tagged with "lunch."

Though it's way past dinnertime, I'm hungry for some lunch.  Maybe there are some lunch films I can watch while I eat a late post-dinner lunch?

Self Help Radio 081721: Lunch

That photo at the top of this blog was taken from inside my room at my house in Fort Worth, Texas.  We had a lovely oak tree in front, & one day some workers at a nearby house took their lunch under the tree.  I snapped the show, because I completely understood - it was a tree which invited you to have lunch under it.  Had I not lived in the house, I might have done so myself - though now that I no longer live there, I wish I had done it at least once.  It was truly a remarkable old tree.

We had lunch early in the morning (or in the middle of the night, depending on your perspective) this week on Self Help Radio.  Many songs about lunch were played, many aspects of lunch were discussed, & guests talked about power lunches, whether lunch was the most important meal of the day, & lunch in the movies.  As well, the premiere of Vance Chamberlain's three-act radio play happened in the last hour.  One listener suggested that the show was appropriate because I was usually out to lunch.  But as far as I know, no one lost their lunch during the show.

You can listen to the show now & any time at both its own web page at selfhelpradio.net & its own web page at kboo.fm.  As mentioned above, many things happen & many songs are played.  Those are detailed below.  They say there's no such thing as a free lunch - but there is a such thing as a free lunch show - which is this week's Self Help Radio!

Self Help Radio 210817: Lunch

"Happity-Yappity Appetite (The Lunch Time Friend)" Sylvia & Murray Winant _It's Fun To Eat_

"Who's For Lunch Today?" Albert Hammond _The Free Electric Band_

"Lunch" Stella Donnelly _Beware Of The Dogs_

introduction + history of lunch

"I'll Buy You Lunch" Linaire _Linaire_

"Lonely's Lunch" You Say Party! _XXXX_

"The Luncheon" Arlene Golonka & Betty Walker _Bob Booker & George Foster Present: You Don't Have To Be Jewish_

"Merchants Lunch" Red Clay Ramblers _Merchants Lunch_

"Miss Otis Regrets (with the Pogues)" Kirsty MacColl _Galore (The Best Of)_

interview with Hollywood Power Lunch Enthusiast Denver Smith

"Yesterday's Lunch" Lemuria _Get Better_

"Lunchtime Love Affair" The Cartoons _Goodbye Nashville Hello Camden Town: A Pub Rock Anthology_

"Lunch Lady Land" Adam Sandler _They're All Gonna Laugh At You!_

"Wot's For Lunch Mum? (Not Beans Again!)" The Shapes _Songs For Sensible People_

"Lunch Hour" June Valli _Let's Have A Party (Girls Gone Rockin' Vol. 2)_ 

interview with nutritionist Bart Dinner

"Lunch Time" Gabby Omollo & Omondi Jassor _Lunch Time_

"Lunch Menu" David Price _Lunch Menu Call-In Service_

"Give Your Lunch To A Lemming" Pig Rider _The Robinson Scratch Theory_

"Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner" Kermit Ruffins _Big Easy_

"The Animal Lunch" Caspar Babypants _Hot Dog!_

Chuck stops by to talk about films featuring lunches

"Candy Lunch" Lilly Hiatt _Walking Proof_

"Take An Indian To Lunch (Pilgrim's Progress)" Stan Freberg _Presents The United States Of America, Vol. 1: The Early Years_

"Lunch Box" The Spectors _Beat Is Murder: Cockfights & Cakefights 1992-1996_

"Lunchbox" Mo Phillips _Occasional Yogurt_

"You Only Love Me For My Lunchbox" Asylum Street Spankers _Mommy Says No!_

Vance Chamberlain's "Lunch": Act I

"Lunch In A Bucket" Jimmy Bell _The Songs Of John D. Loudermillk: Sittin' In The Balcony_

"Phil Ochs & Elvis Eating Lunch In Morrison's Cafe" Reg Meuross _Faraway People_

"I Took A Memory To Lunch" Tom T. Hall _100 Children_

"Uni Lunch" Typical Sisters _Love Beam_

"The 3 Martini Lunch" Graham Parker _Live! Alone In America_

"Liquid Lunch" Caro Emerald _The Shocking Miss Emerald_

Vance Chamberlain's "Lunch": Act II

"Don't Let The Record Label Take You Out To Lunch" Jeffrey Lewis _It's The Ones Who've Cracked That The Light Shines Through_

"Lunch Hour" Skip & Flip _It Was I: The Very Best Of Skip & Flip_

"I Need Lunch" Dead Boys _Young Loud & Snotty_

"Lunch" Muckafurgason _Tossing A Friend_

"Lunchline" Yoni & Geti _Testarossa_

Vance Chamberlain's "Lunch": Act III

"Girls Just Want To Have Lunch" Weird Al Yankovic _Dare To Be Stupid_

"Lunchtime (Tin Foil Robots)" The Board Of Education _Central Services Presents The Board Of Education_

"Them Lunch Toters" Mason Williams _Them Poems & Things_

"The Little Lunch Box" George Hamilton IV _Abilene_

"Snappy Lunch" The VW Boys _Snappy Lunch_

conclusion & goodbye

"Summer In My Lunchtime" Bog-Shed _Step On It_

"Cut Lunch" Models _Cut Lunch EP_

"A Growing Boy Needs His Lunch" Dead Kennedys _Frankenchrist_

Whither Lunch?

(Cartoon by Zach whom you can support here.)

Something I wonder - did you know there's been a Self Help Radio show about dinner (that was in 2005!) & also one about breakfast (back in 2010)?  You might ask, why did it take so long to get lunch?  Have you been to lunch in this town?  I mean, pre-pandemic.  You might wait an hour to get your lunch!  Be glad it only took Self Help Radio eleven years to get to lunch!

Sorry if your lunch is cold.  I confess, I can't remember why I wanted to do a show about lunch.  Maybe it was just time?  Maybe it was one of those weird moments where I was struggling to find a new theme & also I was having lunch & I said to myself, "Say! How about a show about lunch?"  That wouldn't surprise me.  If that's how it happened.  I mean, I eat lunch every day.  So it's on my mind a lot.

This is true: I live with a woman who will often talk about what she'll have for lunch the next day while she's eating lunch.  She plans for future meals during present meals.  It's a little unsettling.  When I'm in the middle of lunch, though, I am all about that lunch.  Too bad food isn't allowed at the KBOO studios currently, as I would otherwise totally pack a lunch.

But you can!  Break out the lunch box for tonight's Self Help Radio, all about lunch, on 90.7 fm KBOO, online at kboo.fm!  It's on midnight to 3am which is lunchtime today.  I have so decreed!  Now let's dig in.

Preface To Lunch: A Complicated History Of Lunching

(searching for "terrifying lunchroom," I found this? from here)

Nowadays I find myself a bit amazed by folks who can eat three meals a day - who have something for breakfast, have a nice lunch, & a decent sit-down dinner.  In my adult life, I've left breakfast behind.  I'm either up way too late to have anything resembling a breakfast, or if I do, I'm hungry about an hour afterward & up until lunch.

It wasn't always this way.  I'm sure I had three meals a day (plus snacks) when I was a kid.  I'm not sure they were quality meals - my mother worked at a convenience store near my elementary school & I have memories of her giving us packaged donuts & cinnamon rolls for breakfast - but I did have a breakfast, I'd eat lunch at school, & we'd have some kind of dinner - my mom wasn't much of a cook - but she'd put something in front of us as we watched television around 6:30pm.

Something changed in high school.  I didn't really enjoy the vibe of the lunchroom.  I didn't like waiting in line for mediocre food, I didn't like trying to find some place to eat, I didn't enjoy whatever I might bring.  At this point, I believe I was left to fend for myself, lunch-wise - either my mother gave me money, or instructed me to make my own - & I knew I'd rather spend the money on other things (usually comic books).  So I spent my lunch hours, from tenth grade on, in the library.  Much of this had to do with having fewer friends in tenth grade, & sadly almost none of it had to do with the racist mural in our lunchroom.

When did I eat?  I think I might have had something for breakfast, & something when I got home, right after school.  It became second nature, I almost never expected to have lunch when I was in high school.  Once I started working, I would eat after school whenever I was hungry, & usually fast food.  I am pretty sure that I got my own meals at some point most of the time after eleventh grade.  The transition to college was pretty easy because I had fended for myself for so long.  Fent for myself?  It seems like the past tense of fend should be fent.  Anyway.

In my adulthood, I gave up breakfast, mostly, altogether.  Occasionally I'd have breakfast with someone, but left to my own devices, I simply waited for lunch.  When I was a smoker, I'd usually have a cigarette or two to start the day - I understood the charm of a cup of coffee & a cigarette even if I never had coffee.  I was always running too late for work or whatever to get something & - this is crucial - the woman I've lived with for almost twenty years now doesn't eat breakfast either.

Mostly though breakfast is either too heavy & makes me want to sleep right afterwards, or it's too light & I'm hungry all the way through to lunch.  My body must be dumb - if I don't eat breakfast, I don't feel hungry until right before lunch.  Not if I have breakfast!

So we celebrate lunch this week.  But why?  Maybe I'll tell you tomorrow.

Bldg

The picture above, which I called "Bldg," was taken five years ago today.  My feeling is that it's been cropped for artistic effect - but I don't believe I have the original anymore.  It's most probably one building among the many that line I-75 - or "Central Expressway" - in Dallas.  August 14, 2016, was a Sunday, & there's a possibility that I was in town to visit my mother.

That being said, it might also be a building in Fort Worth.  I don't really know.  But my brain is telling me Dallas.  My brain could be & often is wrong.

We had just moved back to the Metroplex that month, & I was a little stunned by all the buildings.  The tallest building in Lexington is I believe thirty floors tall; the tallest in Dallas is over twice that.  & of course there are so many more tall buildings in Dallas.  Lexington has but a handful.

Also, the Texas sky, especially full of clouds, is quite lovely.  I have so many pictures of the Texas sky!  & here's one of them.

Nobody Cares, But

(I found this image here. But read blow how I found it.)

The thing I want to mention, I want to mention not out of self-pity or any sense of disappointment.  & I don't mean to shit on any radio station, which is why I won't mention any radio station.  But, every week, I endeavor to cobble together two (2) radio programs & one of them, this week, did not air.  To be fair, about 1/6th of it aired, before something happened at the station (I was told "the modem was down") & it was off the air & in fact most of the next show was off the air too.  & it's very safe to say, nobody cared.

Again, this is not self-pity.  I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a popular, well-liked, much-listened-to radio show.  I would imagine that, should that show somehow go off the air, there would be people who would complain.  For example, in Lexington, Kentucky, for a time I did a morning show after which Democracy Now would air.  I was in charge of making sure it started on time.  Sometimes there was an error in getting the newest episode.  We got a lot of angry calls about that.

My show yesterday morning?  No one even noticed it was off the air.  At the very least, no one notified me, & no one mentioned it on Discord, the app that Freeform uses to interface with its listeners.

The show, which I had prepared for World Elephant Day, was also a show for the Freeform Summer Fundraiser.  The nature of Freeform - an all-volunteer, low power fm station - means it took hours to mobilize volunteers to get the station back on the air.  I feel most badly about that - I hoped my blathering might get more donations to Freeform.  Alas.  What I did mostly didn't air.

Oh no!  I didn't mean to mention the radio station!  Sorry.

Yes, I'll put in on the Self Help Radio website next week.  No one listens to it there, though. Of the last ten Dickenbock Reports I've placed there, a total of zero have been listened to.

Therefore I feel safe to say no one will listen to that show.  It won't help the Freeform Fundraiser at all.

But me?  I couldn't give less of a fuck.  Listen or don't listen, I don't care.  I make radio shows whether or not anyone listens.  I do it out of joy.  Nobody cares?  Dude.  Welcome to my life!

Self Help Radio 081021: Waterfalls

(Original image here.*)

This week's Self Help Radio was about waterfalls.  There are lots of waterfalls in this part of Oregon.  How many have I visited?  You mean counting today?  None.  Look, it got hot!  Yesterday I was going to go to one just twelve miles south of me, but there was this heat advisory & I felt like napping, & well, I didn't go.  But I will!

The show's one achievement - using "achievement" in the broadest possible sense - is that I played twenty songs just called "Waterfall."  I wish I could've filled the entire show with songs just called "Waterfall."  I bet there are three hours of songs called "Waterfall."  I might have listened to that many.  But!  I didn't like a lot of them.  & one of the cool things about programming your own show is that you don't have to play songs you don't like!

Also there were no guests on this show - though there were lots of interruptions!

Listen now at the Self Help Radio website (where you will need a username & password, which are SHR & selfhelp) & at the KBOO website (where you won't need such things).  All the songs I played & all the things that happened during airbreaks are detailed below.

Gosh! Waterfalls are pretty!

Self Help Radio Waterfalls Show

"Waterfall" The Smoke _...It's Smoke Time_

"Waterfall" Jimmy Cliff _Jimmy Cliff In Brazil_

"Waterfall" Aguaturbia _Volumen 2_

introduction/conversation with the show's producer

"Waterfall" Jane _Here We Are_

"Waterfall" Carly Simon _Playing Possum_

"Waterfall" Merrell Fankhauser _The Maui Album_

"Waterfall" The Stone Roses _The Stone Roses_

"Waterfall" Engine No. 9 _Peppermint Stick Parade_

definitions with the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"Waterfall" Riverside _One_

"Waterfall" Hassan Hakmoun _The Gift_

"Waterfall" Ilene Adar _First Sound_

"Waterfall" First Nation _First Nation_

"Waterfall" James _Hey Ma_

Archibald Von Poesy interrupts!

"Waterfall" Quintron _Too Thirsty 4 Love_

"Waterfall" Yonlu _A Society In Which No Tear Is Shed Is Inconceivably Mediocre_

"Waterfall" The Fresh & Onlys _Play It Strange_

"Waterfall" Acid House Kings _Music Sounds Better With You_

"Waterfall" Fred Thomas _Kuma_

new report Rick Wright interrupts!

"Waterfall" Josephine Foster _Blood Rushing_

"Waterfall" Fear Of Men _Loom_

"Waterfalls" Chris Carpenter _A Heavy Dose Of Lyte Psych_

"Waterfalls" Paul McCartney _McCartney II_

"Waterfalls" Why? _Elephant Eyelash_

Ned Dry interrupts! plus a performance with Captain McCheese

"Waterfalls" Me'Shell Ndegeocello _Ventriloquism_

"Living In A Waterfall" Howe Gelb _Hisser_

"Rose Waterfalls" Jennifer Castle _Angels Of Death_

"Sunshine's A Waterfall" Chip Taylor _New Songs Of Freedom_

"Over The Waterfall" Michelle Shocked _Arkansas Traveller_

"Silver Waterfalls" Siouxsie & The Banshees _Superstition_

a few fun facts about Niagara Falls

"Niagra Fall Blues" Kid Cole _The Rough Guide To Unsung Heroes Of Country Blues, Vol. 2_

"Niagra Falls" Jimmy Thackery & John Mooney _Sideways In Paradise_

"Niagara" The Wedding Present _Dalliance_

"Two Weeks With A Good Man In Niagara Falls" The Hummingbirds _Va Va Voom_

"Niagara" Ohbijou _Metal Meets_

"Niagara Falls" Harlem Shakes _Technicolor Health_

conclusion & goodbue

"By A Waterfall" Dick Powell _The Man From 42nd Street_

"An Old Water Mill By A Waterfall" Milton Brown & The Musical Brownies _The Complete Recordings 1932-1937_

"(When The Moonlight Fell) On The Waterfall" Martha Tilton _The Liltin' Miss Tilton_ 

"Down By The Waterfalls" Warner Mack _The Early Years: Southern Rockabilly 1957-1962_

* "Oregon Waterfalls" by Evan-Lovely is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Whither Waterfalls?

(Willamette Falls, from Wikipedia.)

Wow, Willamette Falls, pictured above, are just twelve miles south from where I live?!?  Why haven't I gone to see them yet?  What better things have I had to do?

Though I'm probably not what one might call a connoisseur of waterfalls, which I chalk up to living most of my life in Texas, which is not known for its plentiful waterways, I am certainly one who appreciates them.  & as I thought about them, & mulled over them, & especially as I found myself stumbling onto more & more songs about waterfalls, I thought, "That would be a good theme for Self Help Radio."  Especially while we still have water!

So that's what's happening tonight, on Self Help Radio, on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland.  Online at kboo dot fm.  It'll be from midnight to 3am.  I'm sure there'll be lots of tunes & maybe even guests?  & no one has to go over any falls in a barrel.

Preface To Waterfalls: Oh Wow All The Waterfalls Near Portland!

(image from here)

Before I left Fort Worth, my next-door neighbor Jim revealed to me that he absolutely loves waterfalls, & that he has in fact visited the Pacific Northwest just to see waterfalls.  I must have filed that knowledge away because, well, Self Help Radio this week is about waterfalls, & I was looking around the web wide web & discovered this article, which tells of "6 Incredible Waterfalls To Visit Near Portland."

The article goes from "incredible" to "the best" because the Internets can't make a like without asserting opinion as fact, but it's pretty stunning to discover that all six of these are within thirty-five miles of where I live.  In fact, they're all pretty near one another, although I'm sure you have to hike to find them.  I'm sitting here all like, "What the hell have I been doing during this neverending pandemic anyway?"  & I reply, "Dumb radio shows."

Will the waterfall show be dumb?  Oh sure.  But it'll also be purty!

All My Animals

A year ago today, on August 7, 2020, when we felt this pandemic - which hasn't yet ended - would never end, I took the above picture.  It is a rarity in my collection - a picture of all of my animals in one room together, & also captured on a camera by me.

On the divan or bench by the window, from left, is Bolan (black cat), Boone (orange cat), & Pauline (leggy beagle).  On the yoga in the bottom left is Winston.  Sunning themselves on the little round dog (should I say "pet") bed, is Yoko (chihuahua) & Bronte (orange cat).

Winston is obviously on his way somewhere, so he wouldn't be in the picture long.  Yoko would probably follow me wherever I was going, once I left the room.  & who knows what Pauline was doing.  In any event, the scene would not have stayed this way for very long.  So I'm glad I took it!

Kids In Film

(image from here.)

This week's show was about the kids.  Our friend Chuck stopped by to talk about different kinds of films involving the kids.

Make sure you check out Chuck's Twitter feed.

Chuck keeps a YouTube playlist of the films that he's watching.

He focused this week on four terms, which are reflected in the following IMDb keyword searches:

"Child Hero"
"Group Of Friends"
"Childhood"
"Child Protagonist"

As always, we hope this is a starting point for you - that you discover lots of movies about this topic.  Because there are!  So many movies about kids.  Oh Em Gee!

Self Help Radio 080321: The Kids

(Why yes, this is Gary's first grade class photo! Can you spot him?)

This week, Self Help Radio played songs & talked about "the kids."  The kids that were both all right & (it turns out) all shite.  The kids that just wanted to have fun, & would never been divided if they were just united.  All kindsa kids.  Dumb ass kids, skinny indie kids, stray kids, rich kids, even homeless club kids.  We were all about the kids, even if the kids say the darnedest things.

We also talked to a person with two many kids, a Hollywood producer who is working on a television show for kids, & the host's spiritual mentor, who talked about his kids.  We discussed idioms involving kids, & the show's resident cinephile shared films involving the kids in different roles.

Despite all this, the show wasn't kid-friendly, which is to be expected.  So please don't let the kids listen to the show about the kids.  Make sure the kids have the happiest of childhoods so they can group up to be the adults we hoped we'd turn out to be.  But we had to listen to radio shows in the middle of the night despite not being allowed to.  That's where it all went wrong for us.

Listen at the show's website or at the KBOO website.  What happens on the show is below.

Self Help Radio The Kids Show

"Kids" The Concretes _Hey Trouble_

"Kids" Field Mouse _Hold Still Life_

"Kids" Dream Wife _Dream Wife_

introduction & definitions

"The Kids Are Alright" The Who _Meaty Beaty Big & Bouncy_

"The Kids Are Back" Criminals _The Kids Are Back_

"Kids Are Too Small" George Carlin _On The Road_

"The Kids Are Sick Again" Maxïmo Park _Quicken The Heart_

"The Kids Are All Shite" Mikrofisch _Masters Of The Universe_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Ton Up Kids" Dave & Ansel Collins _Trojan Club Reggae Box Set_

"Dumb Ass Kids" The Suburbs _Si Sauvage_

"I Don't Want Kids" Jen Kirkman _Self Help_

"Bridge & Tunnel Kids" Mister Loveless _Grow Up_

"Homeless Club Kids" My Favorite _Joan Of Arc Awaiting Trial_

interview with Hollywood kids' show producer Denver Smith

"Who Don't Like Kids" Sparks _Propaganda_

"You Better Sit Down, Kids" What Else _Bonograph: Sonny Gets His Share -The Classic Songs Of Sonny Bono Interpreted By Today's Hippest Artists_

"Kids" Bill Hicks _Salvation (Oxford November II, 1992)_

"Two Little Kids" Peaches & Herb _Love Is Strange: The Best Of Peaches & Herb_

"Because We're Kids" Bob Dorough & Bill Takas _Beginning To See The Light_

interview with Matt Angel, who has a lot of kids

"Kids Like You" New York Dolls _Dancing Backward In High Heels_

"My Ex-Classmates' Kids" The Fall _Are You Are Missing Winner_

"My Kids" Brian Regan _All By Myself_

"Little Kids (Ladytron Remix)" Kings Of Convenience _Versus_

"If The Kids Are United" Pluramon _The Monstrous Surplus_

another installment of Chuck's Happily Unsophisticated Cinema Korner, about films prominently featuring kids

"We Hate The Kids" The Indelicates _American Demo_

"Four Skinny Indie Kids" Half Man Half Biscuit _Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral_

"When I Was A Kid" The Harmaleighs _She Won't Make Sense_

"When I Was A Kid" Woody Allen _The Night Club Years 1964-1968_

"The Kids At The Club" Comet Gain _Realistes_

"The Kids Just Wanna Have Fun" The Legends _Up Against The Legends_

a discussion of idioms involving kids

"Let The Kids Dance" Bo Diddley _Hey Bo Diddley_

"Lousy Parents & Messed-Up Kids" Culturcide _Home-Made Authority_

"We Are Kids" Lacrosse _Bandages For The Heart_

"Kids In America" The Muffs _Hamburger_

"Rich Kids" The Drums _Abysmal Thoughts_

"The Richest Kids" This Is Ivy League _This Is Ivy League_

conclusion & goodbye

"Whizz Kids" The Undertones _Hypnotised_

"Nothing For The Kids" The Holloways _So This Is Great Britain?_

"Army Of Silent Kids" Soda Fountain Rag _Sometimes I Wonder If You Have A Heart_

"Stray Kids" Juliana Hatfield _There's Always Another Girl_

"Just Like Kids (Miau)" Hinds _The Prettiest Curse_

Whither Kids?

(image from here.)

A show about kids?  Yes!  A kids' show?  No!  It's late, there'll be some naughty words.  Don't let your kids stay up so late!  Although I myself stayed up quite late as a kid, especially during summer vacation.  & I might have been hoping to listen to naughty words on the radio!

The journey to this show was a bit circuitous & it began with me compiling covers of 1980s songs for my own amusement.  I discovered that the Pretenders song "Kid" (which I know is from 1979 but I think of it as an 80s song) has been covered several times - most recently by Tanya Donelly & The Parkington Sisters.  I thought about a show featuring different songs about different kids - from Billy The Kid to the Cars' "Misfit Kid."  But what I discovered in my initial research was that musicians liked to write songs about different types of kids - weird kids, indie kids, bridge & tunnel kids - & of course the word "kids" doesn't have to mean "children" - much like Bogey saying, "Here's lookin' at you, kid," the word could be used as a term of endearment, or as something condescending, or in the same way we use "guys" to mean a group of people including boys & girls.

It seemed I had a way to narrow down the theme a little.  Then last week on the show someone requested "The Kids Are Alright" by the Who & I suddenly had to expand the show to include songs about "kids."  & that's what I did.  Maybe it made it a more diverse show?  I have hours & hours of songs to choose from!

Also of course there'll be interviews.  Four of them!  It was a busy week.

The results will be available for you to hear tonight from midnight to 3am on 90.7 KBOO in Portland & online at kboo.fm.  Please don't let your kids listen to it.  Especially if they're the young kind of kids.  The older kind might just think it's too dorky.

Preface To Kids: Too Many Kids

(This image, which is from here, is what one finds who one searches "too many kids" on the googla.)

Welp, it happened again.  I picked a theme for which there were patently too many options.  Just imagine!  A theme like "kids"!  What was I thinking?

That's something I guess I'll answer tomorrow (?) (probably not), I just want to whine.  I want to whine because I have been doing this for almost twenty years & one of the reasons I do this show is to challenge myself, to discover new music & to play a cool mix of music that's not simply my favorite songs.  It's hard.  Lots of times I'm like "but I could play that song" but I don't want to.  I don't want it to be easy for me.  But then there's a theme where there are literally hundreds of songs that would fit - I'm going to naturally gravitate to the songs I know because I simply don't have time to listen to all of the ones I find.

This weekend - yesterday - I was at a memorial service for a neighbor who died a couple months ago.  The brother-in-law, an affable fellow, was talking about how he was terrified to retire.  Now he says, "It's the best job I ever had!"  & he confided in me, "I don't really know how I ever did anything when I had a job.  I have no time to get anything I want to do done now!"

& that's the weird thing - I don't currently have a job but I used to do Self Help Radio when I was employed full-time.  I promise you, I will be scrambling to have the show done before I leave for KBOO at 11:30pm tomorrow night.  How in the world did I get anything done back then?

Anyway, back to listening to songs.  I already have four hours' worth saved up, but what if I miss something good?  This is why I scramble.

Flat Bookstuffs

(images from Goodreads.)

On our show this week - it was a flat show - if you haven't already you can listen to it at the Self Help Radio website or at the KBOO website - oh you know - but during the show our librarian friend Carole came by to talk to us about some books about flat things.  The three above are the ones she discussed!  They are:

Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown
Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast by Josh Funk & Brendan Kearney

& Splat The Cat Sings Flat by Chris Strathearn & Robert Eberz

Carole managed to weave in three different aspects of flatness - becoming flat, being something that is flat, & the idea of flat in a musical sense.

We're happy when she stops by because our library gets bigger.  I just wish she'd recommend a book once in a while closer to my reading level - like maybe seventh grade or something.

Maybe there's something for you to enjoy!

The Campaign For A National Day Of Funk

(Image from here.)

Once again I take to the blog of a Friday to talk not about Self Help Radio, but about the other show I do, which is called The Dickenbock Report, & which airs Thursday mornings from 8 to 10am on Freeform Portland.

Freeform is a low-power fm station so it doesn't quite have the reach KBOO does, so I'm not being sad sacky when I say that probably fewer people hear the show than Self Help Radio.  The show I did a week ago, on July 22, I can safely say that no one heard.  The station was off the air!

Since the show was dependent on the date for its subject matter, I can't replay it - it was celebrating the 80th birthday of a starchild named George Clinton, pictured above.  I played a great deal of funk, including music made by the man himself, & I campaigned for turning his birthday into a national holiday - a National Day Of Funk, if you will.  Alas, my efforts were in vain.  My show didn't even get broadcast into the ether!

Since the show was recorded, however, you can listen if you'd like.  Clicking on this sentence will send you directly to the link.  Since it's on the Self Help Radio website, you'll need a username & a password to listen - those are SHR & selfhelp, respectively.  To sweeten the pot, I'll present the playlist below.

I hope you enjoy!

The Dickenbock Report 072221: The Campaign For A National Day Of Funk On George Clinton's Birthday

"Computer Games" George Clinton _Computer Games_

"Humpty Dump (Parts 1 & 2)" Vibrettes _Eddie Bo's Funky Funky New Orleans_

"Jive Man" Exit 9 _Straight Up_

"Kissing My Love" Cold Blood _Thriller!_

"Foxy Girls In Oakland" Rodger Collins _Bay Area Funk (Funk & Soul Essentials From San Francisco, Oakland & The Bay Area 1967-1976) (Vol. 1)_

"Livin' In, Lovin' Out" Ann Peebles _The Handwriting Is On The Wall_

"Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker)" Parliament _Mothership Connection_

"Keep It Comin'" Rufus _Rufus_

"Shack Up (Parts I & II)" Banbara _Blue Break Beats Volume Four_

"If You Don't Give Me What I Want (I Gonna Get It Some Other Place)" Vicki Anderson _Mother Popcorn: The Vicki Anderson Anthology_

"Loose Booty" Sly & The Family Stone _Small Talk_

"Disco To Go" Brides Of Funkenstein _Funk Or Walk_

"Move On Baby" The Allergies _Move On Baby_

"Shoo-B-Doop & Cop Him" Betty Davis _They Say I'm Different_

"Starbooty" Roy Ayers Presents Ubiquity _Starbooty_

"Funky Music Sho' Nuff Turns Me On" Yvonne Fair _The Bitch Is Black_

"Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On" Funkadelic _Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On_

"There's A Break In The Road" Betty Harris _The Lost Queen Of New Orleans Soul_

"Getting Funky Round Here" Black Nasty _Talking To The People_

"You Can't Love Me If You Don't Respect Me" Lyn Collins _Check Me Out If You Don't Know Me By Now_

"World Wide Funk (feat. Doug E. Fresh, Buckethead & Alissia Benveniste)" Bootsy Collins _World Wide Funk_

"Funky Drummer" James Brown _Star Time_

"Save Me" Nina Simone _Nina! (The Nina Simone Collection)_

"Cussin', Cryin' & Carryin' On" Ike & Tina Turner _Cussin', Cryin' & Carryin' On_

"Only A Fool" Loleatta Holloway _Loleatta_

Self Help Radio 072721: A Flat Show

(original image here*)

A flat show! What nonsense is this?  I'll have you know we've spent many a Self Help Radio exploring a theme which is a word, thank you very much!  & "flat" is a word with so many meanings!  It can mean smooth-surfaced, it can mean deflated, it has a musical meaning & it's what they call apartments in the UK & down under.  What a word!  & certainly worthy of a radio show!

It can also mean "stale" & so any mean criticism of the show is built right in.  You're welcome.

The show can be listened to now & anytime at both the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website.  I don't want you to prefer one over the other, but the one at the SHR website doesn't cut off the last song.  Lots of stuff happens during the show, the details are below.

Most episodes of Self Help Radio are like me falling flat on my face.  & this one is no exception!

Self Help Radio's Flat Show

"Flat" Pere Ubu _Waiting For Mary (What Are We Doing Here?)_

"Flat" Difference Engine _Breadmaker_

"Flatness" Melkbelly _Pith_

introductions & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"The Flat Feet Floogie" Slim & Slam _Cab Calloway: Minnie The Moocher_

"Flat Feet" Sammy Masters _Rockin' Red Wing_

"Henry's Got Flat Feet (Can't Dance No More)" Hank Ballard _Sexy Ways: The Best Of Hank Ballard & The Midnighters_

"Flatfoot Sam" Elmon Mickle _Elko Blues Vol. 1_

"Flat Foot Boogie" Albert Macon & Robert Thomas _Blues & Boogie From Alabama_

interview with Flat Folk Society founder Cornelius Brown

"My Boy Flat Top" Dorothy Collins _Get Happy!_

"Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top" Zappa/Beefheart/Mothers _Bongo Fury_

"(No One Listens To You When You've Got) Flat Hair" Mikrofisch _Masters Of The Universe_

"Flat-Chested Girl" Miles Dethmuffen _Clutter_

"Flat Girl" Chai _Pink_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by to talk about books about flat things

"Flat Tire" Albert King _The Complete Stax/Volt Soul Singles Volume 3 (1972-1975)_

"Flat Tire" Dale Watson & His Lone Stars _The Truckin' Sessions_

"Flat Tire" Dean Jones featuring The Felice Brothers _Rock Paper Scissors_

"Flat Tire" V.V. Lightbody _Make A Shrine Or Burn It_

"Flames & Flat Tires" Squirrel Flower _Planet (i)_

a discussion of flat affect Gary's anatomy teacher Dr. Fontanelle Phalange interrupts!

"Shaky Flat Blues" The Pointer Sisters _That's A Plenty_

"Flat Of Angles" The Fall _Dragnet_

"Harry's Flat" Wreckless Eric _The Donovan Of Trash_

"The Girls In The Flat Upstairs" Martin Newell _The Off White Album_

"Flat 19" The Merton Parkas _This Is Mod Volume 4: Modities_

a discussion of the book Flatland

"E's Flat Ah's Flat Too" Charles Mingus _Blues & Roots_

"Flatland, Part I" Ruth Golding _Flatland_

"Flatland" November Group _November Group_

"Flatland" Black Wine _Hollow Earth_

"Flatland" Rudy Ray Moore _Dolemite The Soundtrack_

"Le Plat Pays (The Flat Country)" Jacques Brel _Infiniment_

"The Flats Of Irony" Dear Nora _There Is No Home_

idioms with the word "flat"

"In The Flat Field" Bauhaus _In The Flat Field_

"Cleveland, The Flats" Allen Ginsberg _The Lion For Real_

"Flat Hand" Freakwater _Springtime_

"Tennessee Flat-Top Box" Johnny Cash _The Essential Johnny Cash_

"Flat On My Back" The Visitors _Miss_

"Flat On My Back" LA Tool & Die _Fashion For The Evildoer_

conclusion & goodbye

"Get Flat" Paul Blake & The Blood Fire Posse _Nice Up Dancee: The RAS Tapes 2_

"Flat Side" Museum Of Love _Life Of Mammals_

"Flat Line" Elk Bell _Republica d'fantAsia_

* "Flat Tire" by JeepersMedia is licensed under CC BY 2.0 

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One note: this is the blog's 2700th post.  I wish I could've done something more special!  Oh well.

Whither A Flat Show?

(This is the flattest place on Earth! Image from here.)

Why a flat show?  You may well ask, why a theme-based radio show at all?  Why a radio show?  Why gather songs & travel to a radio station in the dark of night to play those songs & interview people & say dumb things in a studio?

The answer to the first question is, I don't remember.  The answer to the others is, I like doing such things.

What I do know if that I'll be live tonight at KBOO & I'll play songs about different kinds of flatness.  I'll talk to some folks, I'll talk to whoever is listening, I'll still be a little giddy that I'm allowed to be in a radio station at all.  I used to do this all the time!  It feels a lot more precious right now than it has.

Yes. A flat show.  Tonight from midnight to 3am.  On 90.7 fm KBOO in Portland.  Online everywhere at kboo.fm.

& yes, the show will also be flat in the sense of stale.  It's Self Help Radio, after all.

Preface To A Flat Show: Oh It's One Of Those Shows Again

(image from here.)

Yeah, yeah, it's another Self Help Radio based on a word as the theme rather than something that has one fixed meaning.  Flat can mean smooth-surfaced, or deflated, or lacking carbonation, or it can be an apartment or it can be a "note played a semitone lower than a natural," which is something I don't understand because I know very little about music theory & also it's in quotes because I took it from the Wiktionary.  It'll be one of those shows, get over it, whatever.

What I want to talk about is that image up there, which illustrates a fascinating article called "What If The Earth Was Flat?"  In case you don't read it, here are some spoilers:

Well, first, the reason our planet is a sphere is because of gravity, & if it were somehow flattened, gravity would turn it back to its roundish self.  As the article states, "Once you get rid of gravity, everything about our planet rapidly stops making sense."

But things like plate tectonics wouldn't work either, so a flat earth would have no earthquakes.

You know what?  Read the damn article.  It actually says, "Every explanation of the moon's existence involves gravity."  Did they tell that to the illustrator?  Because the earth is flat but the moon in that image is round.  Which makes me wonder - do flat earthers think the moon is flat too?

In this article, which asks that question, we get this fascinating response: "Davidson says he doesn't have any sense of what planets are made of or what shape they would be. 'I wouldn't go so far as to say everything's flat,' he said. The sun, moon, & planets, 'They appear to be spherical, they could be disks,' he added. 'I don't think it really matters too much,' he said. 'I just don't believe that we're on a sphere.'"

Astounding.

Will we talk a bit about flat earthers tomorrow night?  Who knows?  Not me!  Not yet anyway.  Still.  That moon in that picture up there.  Wow.