Friday, September 10, 2010

Fire Blimp!

He let himself get depressed only when he had had one too many. That was the point of no return. Or maybe, let's say, it was the point of the farthest the boomerang would go until it came back. It went too far. That was the point. At the edge of its limits, where it might actually be free, then, then, it could be honest.

He knew he'd return to her despite the honesty of the drink. He had taken college psychology, he paid attention, he knew which of his feelings were bullshit & which were real. He also knew he had had some kind of dumbass economical attitude about his relationship, which was, "I have invested this much, it would be ridiculous to squander such an investment with fill-in-the-blank." His equation, of course, was never divided by the circumstance, which was: "I am unhappy all the time."

At what point might she cross the line, do something so incredibly perverse & selfish to make him fall, like a broken boomerang, where it was thrown? He thought about that often. He actually daydreamed about it. He wondered if she were even that calculating, or if her own innate selfishness would eventually reach that event horizon.

It would free him. It would make the decision for him.

Or would it?

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