Saturday, November 14, 2015

The Gary Files # 8: Gary Coleman

(I found this image here.)

An explanation: Since the name Gary is going extinct, I thought it incumbent upon me to celebrate more notable Garys than myself.  This is the eighth of a series!

Gary Coleman was, according to the Wikipedia, "an American actor, voice artist, & comedian, best known for his role as Arnold Jackson in Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986) & for his small stature as an adult."

When did you first become aware of him?  The television show Diff'rent Strokes, of course.

Did you watch all eight years of the show?  Oh no.  I probably stopped watching it around the time I went to high school.  But before that, yeah, I watched the show a lot.

Did you like it?  Here's the thing.  There was a time in my childhood when the television was always on.  You just watched it.  Only later, probably after puberty, did one start thinking, "Oh, this is good" or "Man, this sucks."  Watching television was something that I came to think critically about once I was taught to think critically.  So the clichéd & preposterous hijinks of Arnold & Willis in a rich white man's household were not nearly as interesting to me as, say, a situation comedy set in World War II German POW camp.  I could appreciate that sort of nonsense!

Do you remember when you decided you wouldn't watch the show?  It's important to understand that I was horrified when Ronald Reagan became president.  I wasn't a Democrat or a Republican then, but I understood he was a charlatan who was there to reward the rich people who supported him.  Plus, he was a religious nutjob who talked about nuclear armageddon in a more or less positive light.  I went to bed every night for the first half of the eighties expecting to die in an atomic bomb apocalypse.  So when his bird-boned wife appeared on a very special episode, I knew I couldn't watch the show anymore.

Do you remember when he ran for governor of California?  I do!  It was after Gray Davis' recall.  Everyone ran for governor, & of course the Terminator won.  Coleman himself received over twelve thousand votes!

Did you know his growth was stunted by a disease?  Yes, I just read that.  He suffered from "focal segmental glomerulosclerosis, an autoimmune kidney disease," & had two kidney transplants, both unsuccessful, & had to have daily dialysis.  A fucked up way to live.

Do you know how he died?  Yeah, he feel down the stairs, & suffered an epidural hematoma.  He possibly had seizures.  He was 42.  It's crazy that, during the time he was on Diff'rent Strokes, he & I were the same age.  He was born less than a month after I was.

Is his name really Gary?  Yes, Gary Wayne Coleman, though he was adopted.  I don't know if that was his birth name - it probably wasn't - his adopted parents' name was Coleman.

Do you know why he was named Gary?  I assume his adopted parents had their reasons.

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