The Gary Files # 12: Gary Busey

(I found this image here.)

An explanation: Since the name Gary is going extinct, I thought it incumbent upon me to celebrate more notable Garys than myself.  This is the twelfth of a series!

Gary Busey is an American Academy-award-nominated (!) actor.  He has perhaps become more famous for his erratic behavior & weird way of expressing himself than he ever did for his acting.

When did you first become aware of him?  I think it was when he played Buddy Holly in The Buddy Holly Story (for which he was nominated for an Academy Award).  That was in 1978, so I was ten.  He seemed too large to be Buddy Holly to me.

Did you ever see the film?  No, never did.

Did you like him as an actor?  Except for that movie, I can't think of a single film that he was in that was made notable by his presence or acting.

Really?  Yeah, looking over his IMDb page, I am struck by how I have barely noticed him in movies at all.  I might remember his performance in Law & Order.  That's about it.

I think I've noticed his son in movies more often than him.  Maybe because it's weird to see someone that looks so much like Gary Busey.

Do you think of him as mainly a crazy celebrity?  Yes.  You can thank The Soup for that.  The Gary Busey clips were always funny & not a little bit disturbing.

You have a two- or three-degrees of separation with him, don't you?  I do!  He was married to a girl I went to high school with, whose name is Tiani Warden.  I don't think she & I ever spoke, but I do recall my little brother had a crush on her.  She was in his class, I believe.  The rumor was that after high school she became a stripper, & that's how she met Busey, although the two of them became born-again Christians at some point together.

I just looked at pictures of them, & I recognize her name but not her.  We must not have known each other at all.  But wow!  He was over twenty years older than she!

Is his name really Gary?  It's his middle name.  William Gary Busey.

He was born in 1944, so it's Gary Cooper, isn't it?  Dollars to donuts, it is.

Self Help Radio 120815: Skin

(Original image here.)

Did you know, I've actually been to a dermatologist before.  I won't go into details, but despite the reason I was there, they first wanted to give me a good going-over, & there was a nurse-type person who had what I think was a canister of liquid nitrogen (?) which I got the impression they used to remove blemishes of some sort from skin.  Okay, I just looked it up - they freeze moles & stuff.  I guess they were looking for those on me.

Anyway, after I took my shirt off & the nurse-type person was inspecting my back, she said, "Hm, I see you have some sun damage here."  That was alarming.  Sun damage!  God damn it!  I knew I should never go out during the day!  Then I thought, "What does that mean, sun damage?"  So I said, "Do you mean freckles?"  "Yes," she said.

Of course I can't see my own back, & have probably not espied it for years, & most certainly that was true then, but I did recall a terrible sunburn I got way back in 1990 or so by spending a summer's day splashing around in the San Marcos river.  Apparently a dermatologist or at least a dermatologist's nurse-like helper (she could have been a nurse, I don't recall) can tell, years later, like moldering clues from the scene of a cold case, that one was so feckless & careless.  It was a sobering moment - I never really did anything like that again without slathering myself in smelly oily sunscreen.

This is all I'm going to tell you ever about my skin.  The show this week showed way too much skin, & I'm surprised actually that I got away with it.  Honestly, if it hadn't been on the radio, I'd probably have been arrested for indecent exposure.

You can listen now at the Self Help Radio website-type place.  Blah blah blah username password blah blah blah SHR selfhelp.  All the songs I played, in both parts of the show, are listed below.

Agh!  Biopsy that!  Quickly!

(part one)

"Skin" Allan Sherman _My Son The Box_
"Skin" Siouxsie & The Banshees _Kaleidoscope_
"Quiet As Skin" Shana Cleveland & The Sandcastles _Oh Man, Cover The Ground_

"Beauty Is Only Skin Deep" Robert Mitchum _Calypso Is Like So_
"Beauty Is Only Skin Deep" The Temptations _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 6: 1966_
"Beauty Is Only Skin Deep" Ike & Tina Turner _The Collection_
"Skin Deep" Nick Lowe _Labour Of Lust_

"Perfect Skin" Lloyd Cole & The Commotions _Rattlesnakes_
"Perfect Skin" Peace _Happy People_
"Sacred Skin" Hellfire Sermons _Hymns, Ancient & Modern (1988-1993)_
"Candyskin" Fire Engines _Fond_

"I've Got You Under My Skin" Frances Langford _Stars Of The 30s Sing Cole Porter_
"Skin & Bones" The Kinks _Muswell Hillbillies_

(part two)

"Gimme Some Skin" Frank Penn _Cult Cargo: Grand Bahama Goombay_
"Skin I'm In" Sly & The Family Stone _Fresh_
"Skin & Fur" G.D. Luxxe _Between Zero & Eternity_

"Skin Storm" Bradford _Shouting Quietly_
"Skin Diving" The Bardots _V-Neck_
"W/O Skin" Gut Bank _The Dark Ages_
"A Second Skin" Girls Names _The New Life_

"Soft Skin" Mountain Man _Made The Harbor_
"Settle On Your Skin" Swan Lake _Enemy Mine_
"Skin To Wear" Straitjacket Fits _Melt_
"Skin" Bailterspace _Thermos_

"Second Skin (Live In Bremen, 1983)" The Chameleons _Script Of The Bridge_

Whither Skin?

(I found this image here.)

Do you remember those skin diagrams from health textbooks in middle school?  Boy, did they used to creep me out.  Holy shit, I think they gave me nightmares.  Just look at that picture up there!  The sweat gland looks all fucked up.  The hairs are like daggers stuck up from some medieval torture weapon.  & the subcutaneous tissue looks like it's warty or something.  For fuck's sake!

Hopefully the show today won't be as fricking gross as this diagram.  I can't un-remember this now.  I think I passed out once in health class because of this.  Either this or drugs.  I know!  I passed out because the teacher was talking about intravenous drug use!  I probably was thinking about the needle going through the skin, right through some sheath or other, uprooting the hair bulb & puncturing the stupid scrambled-up sweat gland, & pouring heroin or morphine all over that gross subcutaneous tissue!  Who wouldn't faint thinking about that?  I'm a little light-headed as I write this, actually.

All right, get yourself together, Gary.  The show is about skin, but luckily there aren't too many songs about subcutaneous tissue.  You can listen to today's Self Help Radio from 4-6pm on 88.1 fm in Lexington, & online at wrfl dot fm.  If I don't pass out during the show, I'll put it up on the Self Help Radio web page tomorrow.  But you should listen today, when the skin is nice & fresh!

(Whatever that means.)

Preface To Skin: Acne

There's one weird, specific memory I have of being a kid - a teenager I guess.  It won't surprise anyone that I spent a good portion of those teen years being hopelessly self-absorbed, & managed - through sheer luck - to avoid incurring the wrath of the bullies who picked on other people I knew.  Because I was a total nerd.  I should've at least been pants once or twice.

Anyway, at some point, because of the horrible hormones coursing through my body, I became a pimply-faced adolescent.  I'm sure it wasn't pretty but at some point I must've realized it didn't matter to me because, quite frankly, I was an unattractive kid & I was wholly incapable of being anything but a bystander to the whole dating/experimenting with sex stuff that was happening to so many of my classmates.  This is not to say I didn't want something like that (the hormones were making me want something like that); I was just enough of a realist to understand it would be something other than my looks that would get me into that world.  I had to make some kind of plan.*

Therefore I didn't bother with cremes or ointments or whatever kids use or used to try to keep pimples away.  In fact, I found them fascinating, & when bored in class I would often just touch them, these odd growths on my face that didn't seem to stay in any one place.  I don't know if I noticed them on anyone else, but maybe I did.  I just wouldn't have judged, since I myself knew my face was awful splotchy.  Or what's that British term?  Spotty.  Boy, I must've been awful spotty.

Oh, but I had a friend - he might better be called a "friend," for although he seemed to enjoy hanging out with me, much of the fun he derived from doing so involved making fun of me - which is something I came to understand much later, because, you know, head up my own ass & all - & at some point he became aware that my skin was much worse than his (if it was - I wasn't staring so intently in his face).  He began to criticize me for my "whiteheads."

That was not a term with which I was terribly familiar.  I knew "blackheads" - they used that word in all the pimple cream commercials.  But this guy - his name was Gus - he used "whiteheads" in a way that made me think someone had just taught him the word.  He made me self-conscious, & I began to pick or pop them (whatever the term) rather than ignoring them as they more or less had ignored me.

Luckily I grew older, & they went away.  & hey!  Gus did too.  But he did leave me this weird, specific memory about my skin - which I might not have if he hadn't been such a little douche to me when we were teens.

* "Others conquered love, but I ran.
I sat in my room & I drew up a plan."
- Morrissey

Cradle To Grave (Episode Three)

Last night at 7pm, the ears of Lexington were assaulted with malice aforethought by the third episode of my other radio show, called Cradle To Grave, on 95.7 fm WLXL.  How it went I can't tell you.  My brain dumps all the information in my head right after a radio show, to make room for the next damn show. Let's just say I did the best I could & hope that counts for something.

In the first hour, I played songs by musicians who were having a birthday that very day, December 5, which surely was a happy day for them, & in the second hour I played musics from folks for whom December 5 was the end of the line.  I think I quipped that it was like throwing a birthday party & a funeral back-to-back.  Doesn't that sound like fun?

The show can be listened to at your convenience at Self Help Radio Web Central.  "Web Central"?  Boy I'm pretentious.  If you need a username & password, you can find it on the website, no worries.  The stuff I played is listed below.

Enjoy!

(part one: birthdays)

"Nothing But The Blues" Al Hibbler & Kay Davis with Duke Ellington _Big Band Voices_
"Chili Con Carne" Willie Kent & Willie James Lyon _Ghetto_
"Don't Start Me To Talkin'" Sonny Boy Williamson II _Blues Masters Vol. 2: Postwar Chicago Blues_
"Corinna" John Henry Brown _High Water Blues_
"I Got The Same Old Blues" JJ Cale _Okie_
"The Peanut Vendor" Alvin 'Red' Tyler & The Gyros _Simply 'Red'_

"Happy Times" Freddie Hubbard _The Artistry Of Freddie Hubbard_
"Kalimba (Lua Cheia)" Egberto Gismonti _Sol Do Meio Dia_
"K9 & Impro K9" Enrico Pieranunzi _Plays Domenico Scarlatti (Sonatas & Improvisations)_

"Slippin' & Slidin'" Little Richard _The Essential Little Richard_
"Smokes" ? & The Mysterians _The Best Of ? & The Mysterians_
"Do I Love You (Indeed I Do)" Frank Wilson _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 5: 1965_
"This is How It Feels" Inspiral Carpets _Life_
"The Asian Thing" Margaret Cho _I'm The One That I Want_

(part two: death anniversaries)

"Poor Ellen Smith" Molly O'Day _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 17 (1949)_
"Prairie Blues" Montana Slim _Cowboy Songs_
"I Live In The Past" Bill Monroe _Bluegrass (1959-1969)_
"The Duck's Yas-Yas-Yas" Johnson's Jazzers _James Stump Johnson (1929-1964)_
"Going To Fishing" Fiddlin' Joe Martin _Walking Blues_

"Blue Rondo A La Turk" Dave Brubeck Quartet _Time Out_
"The Black & Crazy Blues" Rahsaan Roland Kirk _The Inflated Tear_
"Lotus Blossom" Kenny Dorham _Quiet Kenny_

"Rockin' Behind The Iron Curtain" Bobby Marchan & The Clowns _Atomic Platters_
"Notify The FBI" The Arena Twins _Oh What A Shame_
"The Boy From New York City" The Ad Libs _The Red Bird Story_
"The Girl From New York City" Tony Rivers & The Castaways _The Tony Rivers Collection, Vol. 1: Castaways_
"Stay" Thor's Hammer _Umbarumbamba... And More_

"Hupenyu Hwangu" Bhundu Boys _Shabini_

The Gary Files # 11: Gary Cole

(I found this image here.)

An explanation: Since the name Gary is going extinct, I thought it incumbent upon me to celebrate more notable Garys than myself.  This is the eleventh of a series!

Gary Cole is, according to Wikipedia, "an American actor & voice artist."  You probably know him best as Bill Lumbergh from Office Space, but he's all over the place.

When did you first become aware of him?  Like everyone else, from Office Space.

Surely he was in other things before that?  He played the father in the mildly entertaining Brady Bunch movies in the 90s, but I don't think it was a star-making turn.  I'm pretty sure Office Space put him on the map.

But did you know his name, I mean, even after you saw Office Space?  I always read credits, but, to tell the truth, I wouldn't have been able to tell you his name even after that film.  Maybe it wasn't a big break for him after all.  What the hell do I know?

Do you like him as an actor?  One of the rumors that was going around when Office Space was in its heyday (& this might just have been in Austin, since the city was proud it was filmed there) was that he was something of a humorless person, & the reason he's so funny in the movie is because he didn't quite get how funny the character was.  I don't know if that's true - he plays very dry characters very well, so I imagine his sense of humor is close to that.

Like in Veep?  Oh, yeah.  He's great in that show!

But you wouldn't see a movie or a TV show just because he was in it, would you?  Probably not.

Is his name really Gary?  Gary Michael Cole.

Do you know why he was named Gary?  He was born in 1956, the year Love In The Afternoon came out, so if he folks were film fans, I'd say the enduring popularity of Gary Cooper had something to do with it.

Self Help Radio 120115: Magda's Birthday Show 2015

(Yes, that's really my wife.)

Hooray!  Another year of birthday songs successfully deployed!  I honestly was sure this year I was going to run out.  I am officially calling on every great musician to write some sort of birthday song.  One each.  Comedians, also!  Come up with some funny birthday routines!  I know there's not the money in such things as there is in Christmas music, but boy, if you could write the next "Happy Birthday To You," you'd clean up!  & I could play it on my show.

I had just enough songs for this year, but I kind of thought I would.  As I wrote last year in this space, "Check back with me in 2016.  I should be pretty desperate then."  We'll see.

I'm happy to report my wife had a lovely birthday.  The show seemed incidental to her overall birthday happiness.  That shouldn't have been a surprise to me - I did it for her!  Oh well.

Please have a listen on your birthday at the Self Help Radio website.  Password is on the page, please pay attention.  Songs I played are below.  Best enjoyed after lighting candles on a cake, then blowing them out.

Happy birthday!

(part one)

"Happy Birthday Polka" Red Pony Clock _Hey, It's My Birthday_
"Before Your Birthday" The Hollyhocks _Understories_
"Birthday Cake" Orchard Thief _Work +_

"It's Your Birthday!" Tall Jenny _Tall Jenny_
"Birthday Blues" Weird Dreams _Found_
"On Birthdays" Birthmark _Shaking Hands_
"Happy Birthday" The Icypoles _My World Was Made For You_
"My Birthday" The French Goodbye _Living In The End Times_

"Birthday Party" Ross Beach _Ride Theory_
"The Day After Your Birthday" The Pooches _Splitting An Omelette With My Mother_
"Unhappy" Janie Grant _Teenage Girls: Volume 1_
"Birthday Party" Jonathan Donaldson _You're So Great You're So True You're So Square!_
"Birthday Party" The Little Wretches _The Little Wretches_

"Unbirthday" Pogo _Wonderland_
"Birthday" Bob Nanna _Top 100 Of 2001_

(part two)

"After Your 65th Birthday" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"People On Their Birthdays (Live)" Rod McKuen _Sold Out At Carnegie Hall_
"Birthday Party" Toughies _Tough Enough_

"Happy Birthday (I'm Still Sad)" Tyrannosaurus Grace _Tyrannosaurus Grace_
"Birthday" Bye Bye Badman _Authentic_
"It's Your Birthday" The Moon Is A Disco Ball _The Moon Is A Disco Ball_
"Happy Birthday To My Loose Acquaintance" Garfunkel & Oates _Secretions_
"To My Birthday Party" Adam Powell _Let's Ride Bikes_

"Happy Birthday Blue" Joni Lyman _I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself_
"Birthday Girl" Imperial Teen _What Is Not To Love_
"Birthday Cake" The Safes _Record Heat_
"The Birthday Party" Alien Skin _The Unquiet Grave_

"Answer" They Might Be Giants _Glean_
"Too Little Too Late" PINS _Wild Nights_

Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2015?

(A picture from three years ago of Magda with two creatures she loves much more than she loves me.)

Every year around the day of her birthday, my wife gets a radio show birthday present from me.  What a cheapskate! you say.  Indeed, the time I spend working on the show is time I could be spending with her!  But our life doesn't really work that way.  She's content in her downtime to be on her favorite sofa with her favorite people in the world, who happen to be dogs & cats.  Four of each, actually, in our house, & a game she likes to play with me is "Guess How Many Dogs I Have!"  That's when I try to decide how many of our hounds are under the blanket she has draped about herself.  When the answer is four, she squeals with glee.

The first radio show I did for her featured music she loved.  If I had continued to do that, you'd hear the same Magda-approved songs around her birthday every year.  She would be fine with that.  I am a bit more restless.  I began to use her birthday as a chance to play songs about birthdays.  There are a lot of them, but of course the majority aren't very good.  I've been doing this birthday thing for eleven of the thirteen years I've done Self Help Radio.  (I don't know why I skipped two years.  Those early days are something of a blur at this point.)  Ten of those years have featured birthday songs.  I am not entirely certain I can keep playing unique recordings of birthday songs into the near future.  But this year I have enough to make a solid show.

This is how much I love the silly woman who deigned to spend her life with me.

Maybe it's your birthday too?  Maybe soon?  Maybe we just missed it?  In any case, unless you find birthday songs as annoying as Christmas songs, the show today is a birthday show & it's on from 4-6pm on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington + online at wrfl dot fm.  I'll archive it tomorrow like I do unless I eat too much birthday cake tonight.

Wait - I won't - the birthday girl will!

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2015: The Inexorable March Of Time

There are some phrases you'll hear from old & older people - that I hear from my 86 year old mother, for example - among which are versions of these: "Life is short."  "It all happened so fast."  "It was all over in the blink of an eye."  I understand why they say this.  I sympathize, but don't entirely feel the same way.

Perhaps what is missing is a lack of perspective.  Imagine listening to a fourteen-year-old tell a story, maybe a simple tale of excitedly seeing a old friend at an unusual place.  The teenager will tell the story - even if she's telling it well - with a lot of unnecessary details.  Superfluous description.  Possibly whole remembered snippets of conversation.  & most assuredly the story will lack any background, asides describing shared experiences between the friends, even historical or social context.  At fourteen, you haven't lived a great deal of life.

The same story told by a forty-four-year-old would be a completely different affair.  Indeed, the meeting would be mostly a pretext to discuss what had transpired in life between their last meeting - if it could be recalled - & the circumstances that brought them to the unusual place.  Dialogue wouldn't be recounted - a summary of topics discussed would be more the order of the day.  Not to disrespect the narrative skills of your average high school freshman, but this older person's story would be much, much more fleshed-out.  & it would probably be a better story.

The obvious difference between the two storytellers is, well, thirty years.  Somewhere along the line, I believe, our brain learns ways to keep us from going crazy from years of memories.  We simply can't store the minutiae we experience every day, so our memories are bundled into stories, stories that we often forget, stories that we tell ourselves to give ourselves definition.  We learn to distill time as a way, perhaps, to keep ourselves sane.

Our perception of time is affected by our passage through time.  Days that are much the same blend into one another.  It takes a kind of will - & it's not entirely pleasant - to try to remember the tedium one slogs through during a regular twenty-four-hour period.  As I often tell my mother, "It seems like time has sped right by because you're not thinking about the long, boring, uninteresting moments you've spent, which may have been the majority of your life."

That's a big difference (among many) between my mother & me.  I can recall some moments where the nothing in my life threatened to smother me.  Long hours in a room reading as the light dimmed, or lonely times waiting, staring at a wall & unable to make a positive move.  I remember vividly long drives where a sign might say "next town 52 miles" & I felt an hour had passed before the subsequent sign read, "next town 50 miles."  I have lived forty-seven years & it hardly ever feels to me like it's gone by too fast.  In fact, this past year, with its disappointments, its deaths, its seasons acting out like spoiled children, has felt like two years to me, even possibly three.

This is not something I'll immediately share with my wife, who's having a birthday tomorrow, & whose birthday I will celebrate on tomorrow's show.  I've done it eleven times before, a birthday show for her, & have not repeated - & will not repeat -  a single birthday recording.  (I have played - & will play - cover versions should they be good.)  It's getting more difficult as the years go by, & maybe I will eventually recycle the shows.  But not tomorrow!

Cradle To Grave (Episode Two)

The second episode of my ridiculous new show, called Cradle To Grave, aired last night on Lexington's community radio station, WLXL.  In a two hour block, I celebrated the birthday (first hour) & the last day (second hour) of several artists who either arrived or left this crippled world on November 28.  I hope it went well, but how could I possibly judge such a thing?

As happens with some of my other radio shows, you can now find this episode for a time at the Self Help Radio website.  The show is broken into two parts - listed below - the first part where birthdays are celebrated, the second part where deathdays are mourned.

The site requires a password, which you can find on the site.  Why in the world would I make it difficult to listen to one of my radio stumbles?  It's bound to be hard enough as it is!

I hope you like.

(part one: birthdays)

"By The Beautiful Sea" Ada Jones & Billy Watkins _By The Beautiful Sea_
"How Come You Do Me Like You Do No. 2" George Wettling Rhythm Kings _The Complete Commodore Jazz Recordings, Vol. 2_
"Capri" Donald Byrd/Gigi Gryce _Complete Jazz Lab Studio Sessions # 2_
"Midnight Tango" Gato Barbieri _Ruby, Ruby_

"I Wish I Could Sing" George Coleman _Bongo Joe_
"Come Softly To Me" The Fleetwoods _The Fleetwoods Greatest Hits_
"The Love Game" The Mudlarks _The Hits Of 1959_
"Help Me Somebody" The "5" Royales _All Righty_
"You Don't Have To Be A Tower Of Strength" Gloria Lynne _The Birth Of Soul, Vol. 1_
"Whiter Shade Of Pale" R.B. Greaves _Atlantic Unearthed: Soul Brothers_

"Tyger Tyger (Dub Mix)" Jah Wobble _Glitters Is Gold_
"Cousins" Vampire Weekend _Contra_
"Grey Cell Green" Ned's Atomic Dustbin _God Fodder_
"Important Dates (with Stephen Colbert)" Jon Stewart _America: The Book_

(part two: death anniversaries)

"Old Folks At Home" Jules Levy _Old Folks At Home_
"Ohio" Rosalind Russell & Edith Adams _American Musical Theatre: Shows, Songs, & Stars, Vol. 3_
"Won't You Be My Baby (Jimmy Rushing, vocals)" Bennie Moten's Kansas City Orchestra _1929-1930: New Moten Stomp_
"Blue Lights" Papa Lightfoot _Blues Harmonica Wizards_
"Stormy Monday Blues" Bobby Blue Bland _Here's The Man!!!_

"Loving You Has Made Me Bananas" Guy Marks _Loving You Has Made Me Bananas_
"(Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear" Elvis Presley _Elvis' Golden Records_
"Fight Fire With Fire" Frances Nero _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 6: 1966_
"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" John Lee Hooker _The Best Of John Lee Hooker_
"Dust My Broom" Koerner, Ray & Glover _Blues, Rags, & Hollers_
"Apache" The Shadows _Feelin' Fine: Gems From The Columbia Vaults_

"Chicken" Jack Starr _I Hate CD's: Norton Records 45 RPM Singles Collection, Vol. 1_
"28" Steppenwolf _Steppenwolf The Second_
"Heyday" Mic Christopher _Skylarkin'_
"Sriram Bhajo Sukh Mein Dukh Mein" KC Dey _Sriram Bhajo Sukh Mein Dukh Mein_

The Gary Files # 10: Gary Gilmore

(I found this image here.)

An explanation: Since the name Gary is going extinct, I thought it incumbent upon me to celebrate more notable Garys than myself.  This is the tenth of a series!

Gary Gilmore was, according to Wikipedia, "an American criminal who gained international notoriety for demanding the execution of his death sentence for two murders he committed in Utah. After the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a new series of death penalty statutes in the 1976 decision Gregg v. Georgia, he became the first person in almost ten years to be executed in the United States."

When did you first become aware of him?  The song "Gary Gilmore's Eyes" by the Adverts.

Did you know who they were singing about?  Not at all.  I figured he was someone English I wouldn't know about, & he had died & was giving his eyes to someone else as an organ donor.

You were alive when he was executed.  You don't remember anything about it?  He was executed three days before my ninth birthday.  That sort of thing wouldn't even have been on my radar.

When did you find out what the song was about?  A few years later, when someone mentioned to me that the Judy's song "How's Gary?" was also about him.  Around the same time, I read an article about the reinstatement of the death penalty in the United States, & his name was of course in the article.  Suddenly things started making sense.

He died by firing squad!  Not only that, his last words were apparently, "Let's do this."

What do you think of this line, from the Wikipedia article? 
The founder of advertising agency Wieden+Kennedy, Dan Wieden credits the inspiration for his "Just Do It" Nike slogan to Gilmore's last words.
I think it's pretty fucked up.

Is his name really Gary?  Apparently he was christened Faye Robert Coffman, but the reasons for that are in the Wikipedia article.  When his family left Texas, he was renamed Gary Mark Gilmore.

Do you know why he was named Gary?  I'm more interested why someone would name a boy Faye.

Self Help Radio 112415: Gardens

(Original image here.)

Do you have a garden?  How much time do you spend in your garden?  Do you give away a significant portion of your garden's yield?  Can I have some?

You may wonder why I ask.  On our regular dogwalk, the wife, dogs, & I pass at least two gardens which people have in their sort-of front yards (both houses are corner houses) in which I watch vegetables grow, ripen, & eventually rot, because the tenders of the gardens don't seem to manage their gardens well.  (If my dogs get close enough, they'll grab a tomato or a bell pepper!)  Gardens can be ornamental, of course, & these look great, but it seems weird to me to go through the process of planting, growing, & tending a garden, only to let what it produces go to waste.

Ah well.  Nothing goes to waste on this week's Self Help Radio - except the time you take to listen to it!  Lots of garden songs (listed below).  Interviews with a master gardener, a person who wrote a book about famous gardens, & my guru, who encourages everyone to grow a "spirit garden."  All done with a tremendous lack of style!

The show is now at the Self Help Radio web page.  Pay attention to username/password information!  & please be careful - there are creepy-crawlies in the soil!

(part one)

"The Garden" The Smittens _A Little Revolution_
"The Garden" The Shondes _The Garden_
"Walking Garden" Smack Dab _Queen Crab_

"English Country Garden" Jimmie Rodgers _Folk Songs With Jimmie Rodgers_
"Rooftop Garden" Lou Reed _Legendary Hearts_
"Garden Of Chalcedony" Licorice Roots _Licorice Root Orchestra_
"Perfume Garden" The Chameleons _What Does Anything Mean? Basically_

"Hong Kong Garden (John Peel Session)" Siouxsie & The Banshees _The Scream_
"The Hanging Garden" The Cure _Pornography_
"Garden Of Serenity" The Ramones _Hey! Ho! Let's Go: The Anthology_
"Gardenhead/Leave Me Alone" Neutral Milk Hotel _On Avery Island_

"Octopus's Garden" Jeffrey Lewis _Abbey Road Now!_
"The Garden At Night" The Clientele _God Save The Clientele_
"Island Garden Song" The Mountain Goats _The Coroner's Gambit_

(part two)

"City Of Gardens" Bent Denim _Romances You_
"Japanese Garden" Bernthøler _Merry Lines In The Sky_
"Garden Waltz" Bran Van 3000 _The Garden_

"Paradise Garden" Peter Jay _It's Hard To Believe: The Amazing World Of Joe Meek_
"The Hanging Gardens Of Reigate" Would-Be-Goods _él: The Legendary B Sides_
"Strawberries Are Growing In My Garden (& It's Wintertime)" The Dentists _Some People Are On The Pitch They Think It's Over It Is Now_
"Sculpture Gardens" The Art Museums _Rough Frame_

"Magical Garden" The Bartlebees _Acid House Kings/The Bartlebees EP_
"Arthur The Gardener" Television Personalities _Yes Darling, But Is It Art? (Early Singles & Rarities)_
"The Bottom Of The Garden" Bouquet _Miniminou_
"Botanic Gardens" Language Of Flowers _Songs About You_

"Avant Gardener" Courtney Barnett _The Double EP: A Sea Of Split Peas_
"Tip To Gardeners" Gary Owens _Put Your Head On My Finger_
"Rose In The Devil's Garden" The Castaway Stones _Make Love To You_

Whither Gardens?

(I found this image here.)

This is another of recent shows whose theme was suggested to me by a listener in the recent past*.  Normally I don't respond so quickly - not even to my own ideas - but this one made me think it'd be a good show.  Well, it might be a good show - in the spring.  In the autumn, teetering on winter?  Like most Self Help Radio episodes, it's a little silly in context.

At a different radio station, long ago, a peer reviewer (someone at the station reviewing the station's show to help improve them) once wrote a review of Self Help Radio in which the fact that my themes seemed arbitrary really stuck in her craw.  "I don't understand," she wrote, & I'm paraphrasing here, "why Gary does shows about the things he does when he does them."  (I added emphasis, imaging that was how she meant it to sound.

The answer is blindingly simple: obliviousness.  I usually become so occupied with a theme that I forgot to ask "Is this at all appropriate?"  It usually isn't.  Like gardens.  Today.

Today!  It happens from 4 to 6pm today!  On 88.1 fm!  Online at !  I hope you'll listen!

Spoiler alert: no gardening tips offered at all.

* You can suggest a theme too!  Just email me!

Preface To Gardens: Someone Should Have Said

Why didn't you warn me?  There are so many songs about gardens!  Wow, I think I've spent the entire weekend listening to songs about gardens.

Do I have a garden myself?  No.  Sadly I don't.  I am kind of afraid of bugs, & while I am not a neat freak, I don't enjoy having mud or other things on my hands.  It's one of the reasons that, though I love to cook, I don't bake too well - I am constantly washing dough off my hands.  I think the idea that I'd need to have my hands in soil, which has bugs of all kinds in it - slugs & worms are basically bugs to me! - has kept me from gardening.

Which is a shame.  I think I'd love to grow my own vegetables.  I have a plan, actually, to grow some hot peppers in the house come spring.  I'm told it's easy.  Maybe I will transition at some point to an actual garden with lots of vegetables.

But don't hold your breath!

Also, don't hold your breath till tomorrow - it's good to stay alive, as it might be a good episode of Self Help Radio.  (No promises, though.)

Cradle To Grave (Episode One)

Happy day!  November the 21st was the birthday of some great musicians!  Unhappy day!  November the 21st was the day many great musicians met their doom!  My new radio show on Lexington's community radio station, WLXL, celebrates both days in a couple of hour blocks.

In case you missed it, or in case you miss November the 21st for some reason, I've put the show up on the the Self Help Radio website for you to listen to.  The show is broken into two parts - listed below - the first part where birthdays are celebrated, the second part where deathdays are mourned.

The site requires a password.  That information is not a secret - it's on the site, actually!  There should be not trouble finding it.

Enjoy!

(part one)

"Bawlin' Baby" Johnny Horton with Hillbilly Barton _The Early Years_
"Mercury Boogie" K.C. Douglas _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 14 (1947-1948)_
"Rockin' With Big John" Big John Greer _Ham Hocks & Cornbread_
"Only You" The Platters _The Platters' Golden Hits_
"Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" The Four Lads _Moments To Remember: The Very Best Of The Four Lads_

"Delirium" Red & Miff's Stompers _Anthology Of Jazz Drumming Vol.1 (1904-1928)_
"Under Paris Skies (Sous Le Ciel De Paris)" Coleman Hawkins _The Hawk in Paris_
"Clusters" Charlie Palmieri _Latin Bugalu_
"Changó Obarí" Clifford Thornton & The Jazz Composer's Orchestra _The Gardens Of Harlem_
"Mama Roux" Dr. John _Gris-Gris_

"All Day Music" War _All Day Music_
"Soul Bowl" Memphis Horns _Memphis Horns_
"I Had Too Much To Dream (Last Night)" The Electric Prunes _Nuggets: Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era_
"Girls & Boys" Blur _Parklife_

(part two)

"I Don't Believe You Met My Baby" The Louvin Brothers _When I Stop Dreaming: The Best Of The Louvin Brothers_
"Kentucky Bluegrass Angel" Jim Eanes _Bluegrass Ballads_
"Sunrise" Country Gentlemen _Yesterday & Today, Vol. 3_
"I'm Gonna Dig Myself A Hole" Robert Lockwood _Mississippi Blues (1935-1951)_

"Dixie Jazz Band One Step" The Original Dixieland Jazz Band _The Original Dixieland Jazz Band_
"Full Moon & Empty Arms" Frank Sinatra _The Best Of The Columbia Years_
"That's My Desire" Hadda Brooks _I've Got News For You_
"Keep On Dancin'" Alvin Cash & Scott Bros Orchestra _Soulin' Vol. 3_
"Hurt So Bad" Little Anthony & The Imperials _Out Of My Head & Payin' Our Dues_
"Down By The Old Mill Stream" Jerry Colonna _Songs For Screaming_

"Get Out Of My Life, Woman" Q65 _Revolution_
"Hot Wire My Heart" Crime _Hot Wire My Heart_
"Zerox" Adam & The Ants _Dirk Wears White Sox_
"Look My Way" The Vels _Velocity_

The Gary Files # 9: Gary Burghoff

(I found this image here.)

An explanation: Since the name Gary is going extinct, I thought it incumbent upon me to celebrate more notable Garys than myself.  This is the ninth of a series!

Gary Burghoff is, according to the Wikipedia, "an American actor, known for playing Charlie Brown in the 1967 Off-Broadway musical You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown, & the character Corporal Walter Eugene 'Radar' O'Reilly in the film M*A*S*H, as well as the TV series."

When did you first become aware of him?  On M*A*S*H.  Can I just write MASH?  No, maybe not, that looks weird.  But it's such a pain in the ass to write out those damn asterisks.

Sounds like a personal problem.  No lip from you!

Did you like the character he played?  Yeah, I mean, I think the show was brilliant, even know, but I guess Burghoff was funniest in the movie, where he knew was Henry Blake was going to say before he said it.  That was the kind of joke what would've gotten old pretty fast on television.  He was never as interesting or funny as the leads of the show were (especially Alan Alda) but as a member of the ensemble cast, he was fine.

Did you watch AfterM*A*S*H?  Yeah, a couple of episodes, but even my young, completely non-discrimating self realized it was an unfunny turd.  It needed more Hawkeye!  Hell, it could've used a sprinkling of BJ Hunicutt!

Did you know he played Charlie Brown?  I did not.  I don't think I've ever seen a performance of You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.  Though I like some of the songs.

He was on Match Game a lot.  You love Match Game, right?  Oh yes.  Best. Gameshow. Ever.  But sort of like on M*A*S*H, he was overshadowed by funnier people.  I can't really remember seeing him on Match Game, though his Wikipedia page says he was on 428 episodes.  Eep.

Is his name really Gary?  No, it's Radar.  Actually, it's Gary Rich Burghoff.

Do you know why he was named Gary?  Gary Cooper was at the height of his fame so, probably in honor of the actor.

"Big" "Announcement"

(I found this image there.)

Surely something you know about me is, despite an almost embarrassing lack of natural ability, I love to be on the radio.  If any radio station in town gave me a daily 2am to 6am slot to just play music & be ridiculous on the air, I'd do it.  (I'd want to be able to pick the music I played, but I'm not going to double-down on this flight of fancy with a list of conditions because that's like making plans on how you're going to spend your money right after your bought your first lottery ticket.)  So when I discovered that new community radio station WLXL needed volunteers, I volunteered.  I am always glad to help out, but I did hope I'd eventually get a show there.  & now I have!

Premiering tomorrow night (that's Saturday), I'm doing a show from 7-9pm called Cradle To Grave.  The premise is dumb but simple: during the first hour of the show, I'll be playing music from artists who were born on the day of the show, & in the second hour, I'll be playing music from artists who died on the day of the show.  Obviously, tomorrow is Saturday the 21st, so if you love an artist who was born on that day, or who died on that day, there's something of a chance that you'll hear them tomorrow.  (How big a chance I can't say.  I mean, we might not have the same taste in music, you know.)

Who was born on November 21st?  Well, there's K.C. Douglas, Charlie Palmieri, Dr. John, & Alex James, to just name four of the folks you'll hear tomorrow.  Who died on November 21st?  Oh, there's Jim Eanes, Hadda Brooks, Robert Lockwood, & Matthew Ashman, to name four more folks you'll hear tomorrow.

If that sounds like fun, tune your radio dial to 95.7 fm in Lexington &/or tune your computer dial to the WLXL web page & click the "Listen Now" button.

Yes, I'll archive the shows for a short time on the Self Help Radio web page, but they're time-sensitive, aren't they?  Good for a day?  Something like that?

Maybe you'll listen?

Self Help Radio 111715: Stuck

(Original image here.)

Stuck in your life?  Your relationship?  Your career?  Your garage?  Then please don't listen to this week's Self Help Radio.  It may depress the hell out of you.  & not in the regular way!

The show features an interview with a fellow who's been stuck to a piece of wood for almost two decades!  Also, an unhappy Mark Miller calls to talk about how he's feeling stuck in a rut.  & I feature another installment of that forgettable series Dramatic Readings Of Classic Rocks Songs.  Plus the regular assortment of songs, this week all about being stuck.  Like you expect.

Listen now!  Don't wait till you're stuck somewhere & it's the only option you have!  It's at the Self Help Radio website.  If you get stuck & forget about the password, that information is on the page.  It's in two parts.  The songs in the two parts are listed below.

& thanks for listening!  I'm glad you stuck around.

(part one)

"Stuck" Birthmark _Antibodies_
"Stuck" Butterglory _Downed_
"Stuck" Pulses _Dirtnap Across The Northwest_

"Stuck Up Blues" Roy Acuff _Night Train To Memphis_
"Don't Be Stuck Up" Paul Hampton _Rockin' Doll_
"Little Miss Stuck Up" The Playmates _At Play With The Playmates_
"Mr. Stuck-Up" Christine Quaite _Gems One_
"Stuck Up" Shirley Gunter _Soulful Kinda Ladies_

"Safety Pin Stuck In My Heart" Patrick Fitzgerald _1 2 3 4: Punk & New Wave 1976-1979_
"Stuck Under My Shoe" The Dirtbombs _ If You Don't Already Have A Look_
"How Stuck Are You" Skating Polly _Skating Polly_
"Stuck On You" Sardine V _Inner City Sound: Australian Punk & Post-Punk_

"Stuck In The Middle" Astropuppees _Yo _u Win The Bride_
"An Orchid Stuck Inside Her Throat" Comet Gain _Paperback Ghosts_

(part two)

"Stuck On You" Elvis Presley _From Nashville To Memphis: The Essential 60s Masters_
"I'm Stuck" Jerry Reed _Capitol Rockabilly_
"Doing The Unstuck" The Cure _Wish_

"Stuck With You" Zones _Kilt By Death: The Sound Of Old Scotland_
"(I'm Stuck In A Pagoda With) Tricia Toyota" The Dickies _Dawn Of The Dickies_
"Stuck In A Movie!" Aquabats _Charge!!_
"Stuck Up A Hornbeam" Half Man Half Biscuit _Urge For Offal_

"Still Stuck Out Here" The Ocean Party _Soft Focus_
"Your Words Are Still Stuck In My Head" Garlands _The Garlands EP_
"Stuck In Transit" Slow Children _Slow Children_
"Stuck" Magazine _The Correct Use Of Soap_

"Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again" Bob Dylan _Blonde On Blonde_

Whither Stuck?

(I found this image here.)

Confession time: I would be lying if I told you that I didn't think of the idea of doing a show with the theme "stuck" when I discovered that we were not moving to Los Angeles.  I wisely decided not to do a show in which I bemoan the fact that I was stuck in Lexington as my first show as a podcast.  I don't enjoy rubbing salt into my own wounds.

Honestly, I forgot all about the theme until a few weeks ago.  I found it sitting forlorn in a folder of possible themes.  I had done lots of legwork for it.  I figured, I'll do it now.  I don't feel stuck in Lexington at the moment, I'm enjoying the show, I think at least some people with questionable taste are liking Self Help Radio, I might as well do a show about being stuck.

It'll be sticking from 4-6pm today on 88.1 fm in Lexington, & also here, there, & everywhere things adhere at wrfl dot fm.  As usual, when it's done in real time, I'll stick it till it's stuck over at self help radio dot net.  But that's tomorrow.  Today's it's just sticky.

Hope you'll listen in!

Preface To Stuck: Sticky?

Looking over the Self Help Radio "themes index" page, I was certain I had done a show with the theme "sticky."  It turns out, the closest to "stuck" I had explored was a show from eight years ago (!) with the theme "glue."

"Sticky" doesn't preclude "stuck," although "stuck" doesn't imply "sticky."  I believe I learned that in Kant's Critique Of Pure Reason:

Stickiness, by means of sensation alone, is stuck in only one moment, that is, if I do not take into consideration a succession of many sticky sensations. In the phenomenon, the tackiness of which is not a successive synthesis stuck to parts to an agglutinative representation, being sticky has therefore no extensive syrupiness; the want of sticky in a moment of time would represent it as stuck, consequently stuck stickied. That which in the viscous intuition corresponds to stick is stuck (stick to sticked, stuck up to stick down); that which corresponds to the absence of it, unsticky. Consequently, sticky doesn't preclude stuck, whereas it can be shown that stuck does not imply sticky.

See?  Told you so.  Not that I understand any of that, of course.  I Kant really get into it.

Ho ho ho.

Oh - I have interesting news coming up in regards to me doing another regular radio show but can I tell you after this week's show?  I'm not done with it yet.  & I need to watch Fargo tonight!