Self Help Radio 072619: Mine! All Mine!

This show is hella late.  The fault is mine - all mine.

There's not much to say.  Go listen, if you've been waiting for it.  I need to nap.

The show is at Self Help Radio dot net, & you'll need a password (try "selfhelp") & a username (try "SHR") (don't use the parentheses).  What you'll hear is below.

Yes.  I take all responsibility.

Self Help Radio Mine! All Mine! Show

"She's Mine All Mine" Blacktop _I Got A Baaad Feelin' About This_
"When You Were Mine" Allo, Darlin' _Capricornia_
"(I Can't Seem To) Make You Mine" The Clientele _Strange Geometry_

introduction

"Is He Really Mine" Dream Diary _You Are The Beat_
"Mine" The Aquadolls _Stoked On You_
"Make Her Mine" Hipster Image _The Mod Scene_
"Be Mine Tonight" Lloyd Williams _Searching For Soul_
"Mine All Mine" Anna Oxygen _All Your Faded Things_

interview with storage space owner Ernest Froelich

"Can't Seem To Make You Mine" Alex Chilton _19 Years: A Collection Of Alex Chilton_
"When U Were Mine" Ida _Poor Dumb Bird_
"She Is Mine" The Psychedelic Furs _Talk Talk Talk_
"Gotta Make You Mine" Velvet Crest _Gotta Make You Mine_
"Till You Say You'll Be Mine" The Primitives _Echoes & Rhymes_

interview with sociologist Mesa Rob

"I Me Mine" The Beatles _Let It Be_
"Make You Mine" The Drums _Summertime!_
"Sort Of Mine" Heavenly _Le Jardin De Heavenly_
"If You Were Mine" Billie Holiday _The Quintessential Billie Holiday, Vol. 1: 1933 - 1935_
"I Wish You Were Mine" T-Bone Walker _The Original Source_

discussion of Gary's radio adventures
phone call by lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"Mine All Mine" Jimmy Wakely _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 15 (1948)_
"He's Mine" The Platters _Enchanted: The Best Of The Platters_
"Click & You're Mine" Miss World _Waist Management EP_
"Be Mine" Burnt Palms _Back On My Wall_
"That Boy Is Mine" The School _Reading Too Much Into Things Like Everything_

discussion of Gary's radio adventures

"Mine Mine Mind" Roky Erickson & The Aliens _The Evil One_
"She's Mine" The Frowning Clouds _Listen Closelier_
"Tell Me That You're Mine" This Happy Breed _Woosh! Little Teddy Recordings 1991-2001_
"She Was Mine" The Beaux Jens _Scream Loud!!! The Fenton Story_
"I'll Keep It With Mine" Rainy Day _Rainy Day_

conclusion & goodbye

"Mine" The Ramonalisas _Wintersliding_
"You Were Mine" The Hit Parade _More Pop Songs_

Whither Mine! All Mine!?

(I forgot where I downloaded this old jpg, sorry!)

Another damn show with too many songs.  I beg your indulgence if I don't play the first one that pops into your head - or the second one - or the ninth one.  There. are. too. many. songs. that. fit. this. theme.

Perhaps I should've thought of "be mine."  Or "he's mine."  Or "make you mine."  Or something else more specific.  Alas, hindsight is a dish best served cold.  Hmm.  That didn't make any sense.  I blame it on my new floss.  It's tough but fair.

There's nothing more to day, as I have seventeen more hours of songs to listen to.  Just wanted to remind you the show will happen I really hope around noon tomorrow, Friday, July 26, over at Self Help Radio dot net.  It'll be mine, & then it'll be yours.  & then you'll want to return it.

Preface To Mine! All Mine!: The Wednesday That Time Forswore

This evening I took a spinach sesame noodle casserole over to the neighbors for what I was told was a "block party" but it was just the wife & me & some neighbors who liked each other.  The people across the street weren't invited & neither were the youngsters who, our next-door neighbor said, deal drugs!  

It was otherwise fun but I drank a lot of wine & need to get to sleep.  So forgive me for this brief posting.  The day was not mine.

Primary Care

Today I had my first doctor's appointment in Portland.  Nothing's wrong, I just like to have a doctor.  It seems so strange because, while technically we had a doctor when I was a kid, he was mainly there to get drugs without a prescription (we were quite poor) & for emergencies.  He was very fond of my mother & my sister Pat & seemed a kind soul.  His name was George Molhusen & although I can't find any reports online, my sister told me he died in a house fire after rescuing both his wife & his dog.  He was 79 years old.

Anyway, I think my first real doctor was a fellow who didn't give a shit about me in Kentucky.  I saw him every six months & I don't think he remembered me once.  He remains the first man ever to penetrate me anally, albeit with his finger, & I hope he remembers that act as fondly as I do.

We had a great GP in Fort Worth, one of the five best things about my time there.  She was very kind, very supportive, & she hugged me goodbye when I said we were moving.  I think I actually was healthier when I moved than when I first saw her.  She liked horses.

This doctor today was fine & dropped the s-bomb in my presence, which I approve of.  But later on - after both a urine sample was given & blood was drawn - I discovered the wife had misunderstood the insurance information & this doctor isn't in our network, or whatever that language is.  So I probably won't see her again.

All that blood!  All that urine!  I hope I'm all right.  Will I ever know?  Ah well.  I have another appointment scheduled for September.  Hopefully this one will be in network.

First Freeform Portland Sub Show

On Saturday night/Sunday morning, I subbed my first show on KFFP, better known as Freeform Portland, the low-power FM here in town.  It's a wonderful place, & I am glad to be involved, even if I probably didn't do a show exactly like the one I subbed.  I basically did me.  That's always a dodgy proposition.

You can listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website if you'd like.  What I played is below.  I celebrated a few birthdays, I talked to myself in the middle of the night, & some people walked the streets below me.  It was fine.

Remember: password is selfhelp, username is SHR.

Basement Boogie Sub Show 

"It's Not Explained, It's Delaware" Tullycraft _The Railway Prince Hotel_
"Happiness Is A Warm Gun (Take 19)" The Beatles _The Beatles (White Album) [Deluxe]_
"Innocence" The Other Two _The Other Two & You_

"The Trip" Kim Fowley _Nuggets: Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era, Vol. 2_
"The Boy Is A Tramp" Crocodiles _Boys_
"1972" Broken Social Scene _Let's Try The After_
"Heavens Above" The Pastels _Heavens Above_
"Tanto" Sessa _Grandeza_

"Kindergarten Of The Stars/A Touch Of Fairfax" Robin Williams _Reality... What A Concept_
"Love Insane" Dif Juz _Extractions_
"Beguine" Olivia Neutron-John _Olivia Neutron-John_
"Bashibazouks" Momus _Scobberlotchers_
"Aus Birgittes Tagebuch" Bangkok Impact _Lektroluv 5_

"The Hurt" Cat Stevens _Foreigner_
"Half Life Crisis" Jim O'Rourke _Simple Songs_
"Anyways" Harlan _Anyways_
"Conesuela" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Prophets, Seers & Sages The Angels Of The Ages_
"Country Girl" Jacobites _Robespierre's Velvet Basement_

"Single Girl, Married Girl" The Carter Family _Anthology Of American Folk Music_
"Mandolin Boogie" The Armstrong Twins _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 10 (1945-1946)_
"The Randall Knife" Steve Earle & The Dukes _Guy_
"Lonely" Tom Waits _Closing Time_
"Be Still" Robyn Hitchcock _Love From London_

"Dedication Not Medication" The Fall _Sub-Lingual Tablet_
"Where My Mind Goes" Apex Manor _Heartbreak Manor_
"Just Who Is The Five O'Clock Hero" The Jam _The Gift_
"Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat" Bob Dylan _Live 1966 (The "Royal Albert Hall" Concert)_
"Believe In Nothing" Peter Perrett _Humanworld_
"1-2-3" Professionals _I Didn't See It Coming_

Self Help Radio 071919: Voices

(Original image here.)

So many voices on today's show!  & not just in song - there are four guests on today's show!  What a delight!  What a mess!

My voice is shot now, spending all that time talking & singing along.  I made need some special kind of tea.  Or alcohol.  Tea with alcohol?  Alcohol with a splash of tea?  This is the most accommodating café I've ever seen.

What else is there to say?  Save your voice, listen to this show instead.  Tons of songs, a voice coach, a voice actor, a spiritual mentor, & a surgeon.  It'll make you hoarse in some way.  Maybe just mentally.

It's now at the Self Help Radio website, & once there you'll need a username (which is SHR) & a password (which is selfhelp) to access.  What you'll hear - including the interviews, is below.

Life up every voice & listen!

Self Help Radio Voice Show

"The Voice" Ultravox _Rage In Eden_
"V.O.I.C.E." Poeme Electronique _The Echoes Fade_
"The Voice" Boys Next Door _Door, Door_

introduction & definitions

"Voice" Sacred Paws _Strike A Match_
"Voices" The Cavalcade _Many Moons_
"Voices" Sunscreen _Just A Drop EP_
"Voices, That's All" Chumbawamba _ABCDEFG_
"New York Voices" George Carlin _Occupation: Foole_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Hearing Voices" Galaxie 500 _This Is Our Music_
"I Hear Voices" Screamin' Jay Hawkins _I Hate CDs: Norton Records 45 RPM Singles Collection, Vol. 1_
"She's Hearing Voices" Bloc Party _Silent Alarm_
"Golden Voice Announcer's School" Gary Owens _Put Your Head On My Finger_
"Voices Inside My Head" The Police _Zenyatta Mondatta_

interview with cosmetic voice surgeon Dr. Herbert Humekake

"Other Voices" The Cure _Faith_
"My Other Voice" Sparks _No. 1 In Heaven_
"The Voice In My Head" Aaron Aryanpur _In Spite Of_
"Sacred Voices" Red Letters _Kilt By Death: The Sound Of Old Scotland_
"The Hidden Voice" TV21 _Something's Wrong_

interview with voice coach Dr Jacob Melodious

"Information In The Voice" Malcolm Middleton _Summer Of '13_
"Voice Yr Choice" The Go! Team _Rolling Blackouts_
"Voices Inside (Everything Is Everything)" Donny Hathaway _Everything Is Everything_
"Little Voice" Ashby _Looks Like You've Already Won_
"Now Your Smile Comes Over In Your Voice" The Wave Pictures _Beer In The Breakers_

interview with aspiring voice actor & cousin, Larry
+ goodbye!

"Voice From The Mountain" Nick Drake _Time Of No Reply_

Whither Voices?

(Image from a website explaining how the voice works.)

It seems unfair, to me, that you get to hear my voice all the time & I never get to hear yours.  It would be so cool if you'd record yourself talking about one of my dumb themes & I could play it on the show.  What do you sound like?  I have no idea.

A few months ago - maybe before we left Texas - I started thinking about a show about voices.  It started out as a purely acapella show - but that proved a little difficult.  Maybe one day.  I discovered there were lots of songs that purport to be about voices, & that settled it: the path of least resistance, songs about voices.

Turns out there are hella songs about voices.  So much so that I could easily do a three-hour show.  I'm not going to - no one needs to hear my voice that long - but I could.  There are so many songs, though, I'm afraid I might not make it by noon tomorrow.  But I will try!

Noon tomorrow.  Self Help Radio dot net.  The next time you'll hear my voice.  Hopefully not the last.

Preface To Voices: The Voice I Will Hear Tonight

(Image from here.)

Not only the voice - I'll get to see him, too!  In a couple of hours, I'm heading to my first Portland comedy experience - which also happens to be my first Portland comedy festival experience, as it's the first night of the Portland Queer Comedy Festival as well - seeing the great Scott Thompson of The Kids In The Hall as his character Buddy Cole.

This is true: I wouldn't have found out about the show if I hadn't gone Saturday to be trained at yet another station in town.  That makes three I am involved with.  More about that soon.

But for now!  Off to see the great man!

Toothiness

Today I had my teeth cleaned for the second time in three months.  It reminded me of another dental story.  Here is that story:

When we lived in Huntington, West Virginia, we looked for a dentist a few weeks after arriving because we believe in dental care.  Friends - a couple the wife met through academic colleagues - recommended a dentist within walking distance of our house.  That was cool.  We went there, & I luckily didn't need any work, but the wife needed to have a filling replaced.  That wasn't fun.

A year later, after we had moved to Lexington, Kentucky, the wife began experiencing pain when the replaced filling was.  She went to a different dentist & discovered the Huntington dentist had simply done a terrible job, the filling was not properly done, & it had to be replaced.

The wife was furious.  She called her friends & told them about the experience.  They said, "Oh yeah, it's happened with us, too."

It was a quintessential West Virginia experience: she's not a very good dentist, but she's our dentist.

My experience today only somewhat reminded me of this story, & what happened was, even though three months have passed since my last cleaning, my mouth was a mess.  Without going into any detail, the hygienist did a marvelous job, making me reflect that if I were a masochist, I might specialize in the weird pain/pleasure sensation of someone scraping at your gums.  It also make me realize that our dentist in Fort Worth wasn't any good.

Afterwards the wife asked me if I liked the dentist.  (I did not like our dentist in Kentucky & after three visits I found another on my own.)  She was not only relieved when I said yes, we both were surprised our teeth were in such terrible shape.

This time, though, it was entirely our fault.  We picked a dentist in Fort Worth near the wife's work, which was convenient for both of us.  & he was very kind last year (or was it the year before) when I had to have a crown replacement.

But boy his hygienists were terrible.  I haven't had my teeth cleaned that well in ages.  I look forward to six months from now!

This is probably not very interesting but it's on my mind.  I should've written about some radio meetings I had this week.  Damn.  Okay, tomorrow.

Folk Espresso The Second Time

This morning I subbed Folk Espresso the second time.  I got one very nice call from a person who appreciated my style & what I played, but two negative calls - one is which the fellow simply yelled at me to shut up & play music & then hung up - & another which came after the positive call also suggesting I talk too much & also letting me know that "people don't give shit about birthdays" - a reference to me both playing musicians who have birthdays under my voice as well as playing songs by musicians who had a birthday today (Ian Curtis, Washboard Sam, Linda Ronstadt, & Roky Erickson).  It left me with a bad taste in my mouth & I probably won't sub the show again, mainly because I get the impression that the folks who listen to the show - to the 5:30 to 7 folk block every morning on KBOO - are people who have been listening a long, long time, & I think they'll be happiest with people they're familiar with - who apparently don't talk as much as I do.

It's weird to think of people who get angry at the radio & it's not talk radio, isn't it?

You can listen to the show here, if you want.  What I played is below.

"Katmandu" Cat Stevens _Mona Bone Jakon_
"Clever Songs" Four Eyes _I'd Rather Be Ghost Hunting_
"Losers Like Me & You" Erik Koskinen _Burning The Deal_

"Love Will Tear Us Apart" June Tabor With Oysterband _A Beginner's Guide To English Folk_
"Jubilee" Jake Xerxes Fussell _Out Of Sight_
"Wild Mountain Thyme" Judy Collins _Maid Of Constant Sorrow & Other Hits_
"The Wild Man Of The Sea" Elliott Morris _The Way Is Clear_
"I Drink" Mary Gauthier _Mercy Now_

"Bucket's Got A Hole In It" Washboard Sam _When The Sun Goes Down, Vol. 3: That's Chicago's South Side_
"Georgia" Aviva Le Fey _Lovesick_
"Ramblin' & Tumblin'" Spider John Koerner _Spider Blues_
"Highway Blue" Erin Durant _Islands_
"You're A Big Girl Now" Bob Dylan _Biograph_

"Walk Away Renee" Linda Ronstadt & Ann Savoy _Adieu False Heart_
"You Don't Love Me Yet" Roky Erickson _All That May Do My Rhyme_
"Summertime" Carolyn Hester _At Town Hall_
"The Long Game" Johnathan Rice _The Long Game_
"Heart Of Black" Gold Light + Snakemusk _Shadows In The Shallows_

"Ada & Asa" Jenny Adkins _Ada & Asa_
"Written In The Book" John Tams _The Reckoning_
"Heart Still Beats" Eva & The Vagabond Tales _Uncharted Ocean_

Self Help Radio 071219: All Day & All Night

(Original day & night images from here & here respectively.)

Finally! After a week! The "All Day & All Night" episode of Self Help Radio! It took two weeks but it's here!  Still, don't get your hopes up.  It's mainly the same old thing.

Here's something I didn't notice until I looked at the list of previously-explored themes on the Self Help Radio website: almost exactly ten years ago, I did a show with the theme All Night Long, & some songs from that playlist make their way onto this one.  But this show us more than "all night long"!  It's an all day show too!

Anyhow, you can listen all day & all night over at Self Help Radio dot net.  Do I need to remind you of the password (selfhelp) & the username (SHR)?  I do it every week.  What happens on the show is listed below.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sleep all day.

Self Help Radio All Night & All Day Show

"All Day & All Of The Night" The Kinks _Kinks_
"All Day All Night" Bob Marley & The Wailers _Catch A Fire_
"All Day All Night" And The Kids _Turn To Each Other_

introduction & a conversation with myself

"All Night Long" Roba Stanley _Banjo Pickin' Girl: Women In Early Country Music, Vol. 1 (1920-30s)_
"Ben Bland's All-Day Matinee, Part One" The Firesign Theatre _Just Folks... A Firesign Chat_
"You Can Tell Me All Night Long" Bill Fox _Shelter From The Smoke_
"Love You (All Day Long) (Alternate Mix)" Tommy Hoehn _Thank You Friends: The Ardent Records Story_
"Up All Night" The Boomtown Rats _Mondo Bongo_

interview with record breaker Abbas

"All Day Long" New Order _Brotherhood_
"All Night Party" A Certain Ratio _acr:box_
"Sigh, Inhibitionist (Come All Day With Me)" A Sunny Day In Glasgow _Autumn, Again_
"The All-Night Obituary Of The Air" Conception Corporation _Complete Conception_
"All Day" The Concretes _WYWH_

interview with mental health specialist Johann Fred Friedrich

"You Shook Me All Night Long" Cecilia Noel _Havana Rocks_
"All Day Long" Shop Assistants _Scared To Get Happy (A Story Of Indie-Pop 1980-1989)_
"All Night Party" Anne Clark _Changing Places_
"Up All Day" The Castaway Stones _Make Love To You_
"If It Takes All Night" Roxy Music _Country Life_

a trip into Self Help Radio's past
a phone call from lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"All Day Today" Hospitality _Hospitality_
"All Night Long" Headcoatees _Here Comes Cessation_
"Waiting All Day" Eric's Trip _Forever Again_
"Don't Take All Night" Nina Simone _Four Women: The Nina Simone Philips Recordings_
"Here All Day" Trembling Blue Stars _Alive To Every Smile_

conclusion & goodbye

"I Walked All Night" The Embers _El Primitivo: American Rock N Roll & Rockabilly_
"All Day Daylight" The Morning Benders _Big Echo_
"All Night Worker" Downliners Sect _The Definitive Downliners Sect Singles As & Bs_
"All Day Long" X-Teens _Love & Politics_
"All Night Long" The Palace Guard _The Palace Guard_
"All Day I'm Thinking Of You" Wolfie _Heavy Lady 7"_

Whither All Day & All Night?

(Image from here.)

Yes, there will be a show this week.  I'm feeling better & I have no other commitments besides getting the damn thing done.  I feel bad about flaking last week so I am working about 7% harder on this show than usual.  That means a shorter nap in the middle of the day.  The things I do for you.

The truth is, I can't recall why the show is both all day and all night songs.  Usually, I'd pick one or the other, wouldn't I?  Maybe it's because I thought it'd be an easy show to put together & didn't want to scramble to find obscure songs called "all night long" because I wanted to do one of my narrowly-themed shows.  If so, then: irony!

The reason for the theme is lost in the midst of my fuzzy memory.  It's certainly not because I've stayed up all day & all night recently.  I wish I had, especially on the radio.  That would be fun.

The show! Available all day & all night starting tomorrow at noon PST at Self Help Radio dot net.  I hope it is worth the wait.  Spoiler alert!  It won't be.

Preface (Again) To All Day & All Night: What If?

What if one of my musical heroes wrote a song for Self Help Radio?  Would it be something like this?



Let's be clear: Momus has no idea a radio show called Self Help Radio exists.  But I like to pretend.

Very Little To Report

Seriously, I've just been listening to music & working on the show that was supposed to happen last week.  Now I have to feed the animals & get to bed because I am operating the boards for two talk shows tomorrow morning.

I choose to share with you a poem I wrote twenty years & a day ago.  Lucky you!  It's called "Reprieve Reprise."

better soak it

what a gumble hardly trouble just a few slices slip
need to ice the razzleberry hardly fairly rub it
softer there's a lot to put in eyelids over & above
the last respite you didn't say it call it love

better hold it

listen bastard torn green fabric taking pulse from
nothing else i crumble neatly you can't feel me where
i was saying bent on the day after some sick bagman
carries away organs for the donors not the lonely

you know better

i know music see the bruises like abstrex tattoos
saved one for you a heart to clutch fuck all it's much
more than memory close to repairing some point you
missed if i hadn't stayed you'd resist frayed afraid

best forget her

Back In The Saddle

Okay.  I'm still not 100% but I don't have a bunch of obligations this week to foul me up, so I think there'll be a new episode of Self Help Radio.  Think?  I'm sure of it!

In fact, I visited one of the radio stations at which I volunteer today & I filled out an application for SHR there.  I don't imagine the turnaround will be too quick - nothing appears to happen too terribly quickly there - but it was nice they let me apply.  I have been daydreaming about getting a show there since I drove home, which is probably not healthy, but I can't help it.  I daydream & I worry, sometimes at the exact same time.

The wife said, "Look at you, filling your days with radio" - oh yeah, I forgot!  I am going to train at the third station this weekend.  It would be quite fun if I had three different radio shows on three different stations.  Holy shit, could I sustain that?  I dunno.

There's a meeting tomorrow & I am running the board for two talk shows on Wednesday so I should have ample time to put the show together.  Why, you may ask, did I not work on it this weekend?  Shouldn't I have done that?  Well.

First, I napped.  I think I may have an ear infection.  It helps to nap.

Second, I needed to go see the new Spider-Man movie.  It was mildly entertaining, & I sat in the wrong theater at first, so almost saw Toy Story 4.

Third, I volunteered to monitor the station for the last night of the Blues Festival, so I sat & read Twitter on my phone while I listened to Shemekia Copeland & Trombone Shorty, & had to tell angry deejays their shows were preempted by the live broadcast.  That was a fun moment, they were so het up by not being informed of the preemption until I pointed out there was a bulletin board just outside the deejay booth with the information.  At least one deejay discovered that his show would be preempted by another live broadcast at the end of the month.

They had the decency to simmer down when they realized they weren't paying attention.  & one of them decided to go to the Blues Festival.

One of these days I'll learn not to procrastinate.  Not today, though.

Excuses, Excuses (No Show This Week)

(Image from here.)

Ugh, I feel so bad about this.  The short bit of news is that I just don't think I'll have the time & energy to put together Self Help Radio this week.  I will be gone most of today helping out with a remote broadcast & much of that involved sitting in the sun while live bands played nearby & everyone had to yell to speak to one another.  Five hours of that will really wear you down.

Do you want to hear more excuses?  I've been feeling run-down this week & even had a fever the other night, although what it's from is a little confusing - I don't have a cold & I haven't otherwise had any symptoms of sickness.

& this morning we took our cat Boone for a follow-up visit to the vet to try to figure out why he's so thin & is coughing.  The steroids he was given to possibly treat for asthma have not resulted in a diminishing of his coughing fits.  Now he's being treated for possible parasites.

Again, I remind myself that this wouldn't happen if I could do the show live.  The whole process of editing the audio takes much more time than a live "performance."  So if I had a show on the air, I would not be skipping it this week.

But I also must remind myself all this work I'm doing is to make sure that I will one day be back on the air.

Please accept my apologies - I apologize to my collaborators too! - the show with the theme "all day & all night" will happen next Friday at noon.

Preface To All Day & All Night: The Perils Of Holiday Radio/The Perils Of Podcasting

(Image from here.)

Here's a warning: Self Help Radio may not be "on time" this week.  I want to help out at a radio station here & they are broadcasting live from a festival & I'll be on site to announce stuff  between acts, & that's happening both Thursday & Friday, & it's probably no surprise those are the days I work on the show.  A huge swath of time I normally spend on the show has not been taken doing something else.

This has become a habit, I'm sorry.  I promise, I am working as hard as possible without being an unbearable pest to get Self Help Radio on the air in Portland.  But as long as the podcast can be released whenever, I have the option to postpone & reschedule.

Have a happy fourth & I'll try to get the show done by noon on Saturday.  I'll try.  I'll try.

Do You Ever Sleep All Night?

It's July 2.  Let's pretend it's July 1.  For the sake of argument.

Summertime is a good time to sleep all night.  Nights are shorter.  The goal is within reach.

The sun rose on July 1 at 5:26am in Portland.  It set the night before at 9:03pm.  That means there was about eight & a half hours of night to sleep all the way through.

That night I went to bed at around midnight.  I wasn't feeling well, I thought I might have a fever.  I tossed & turned & occasionally had to move to different parts of the bed because the animals in the bed had shifted positions.  I woke around seven to take the dogs for their morning walk.

You might generously give me seven hours of sleep, but I certainly didn't sleep all night.  I hardly ever if ever sleep all night.  I don't go to bed at 9pm (the animals get fed at 9:30pm) nor do I wake at 5:30am (unless it's for a radio show or something like that).  So I arguably will never sleep all night.

Conversely, in the wintertime, there'll be far less day than night.  Could I possibly sleep all day?

On January 1 in Portland, the sun rose at 7:41 am.  It set the night before at 4:38pm.  Holy shit.  That's less than nine hours of daylight.  Holy fucking shit.  Okay, I hadn't thought about that before.  All right.  Deep breaths.  Deep breaths.

There's no way I'm going to sleep all day if all day is less than nine hours long!  That's fifteen hours of night.  Where do I live now, the arctic?

What was I talking about?  Oh man, I can't believe - the sun rose on January 1 in Dallas at 7:30 & it set at 5:30 & that I know is just one hour more but for some reason it's just not as frightening.  Okay.  Okay.

Look, I need to make some preparations for a scary winter.  Forget all day & all night, I may want to sleep all winter long.

The Cat Seems A Little Lean

Happy July!  It's been a lovely summer so far in Portland, I hope it keeps being lovely.

Many years ago, in Kentucky, I got my cat Beatrice into the bad habit of eating on my desk.  She actually ate on this pull-out section just to my right, & every once in a while, when I was moving my mouse (I'm right-handed), if she were there, she'd take that as provocation & swat at me.

This situation continued in Texas but I slowly put a stop to it, especially after Beatrice died.  The cats had specific places they ate, usually on the dining room table, away from snoopy hounds who couldn't understand why they weren't eating as fast as dogs do.

But if you saw my desk right now, you'd say: hey, Gary, are there cats eating on your desk?  & I'd say, yes.  Yes, there are.  Well, one.  Boone.

Boone has been mentioned on this blog before, as well as in recent posts during the move.  He didn't enjoy the four-day drive to Portland.  & we noticed something a couple of weeks into our stay here: he seemed to be losing weight.

There could be many reasons, & we fixated on one: he's always had a weird cough.  We thought he maybe couldn't pass hairballs, so we gave him this goop (he did not enjoy getting this goop squirted into his mouth) which supposedly facilitated that.  But the intermittent coughing continued.  We decided to visit a vet - we're going to need to find a vet - to see what might be the case.

The tentative diagnosis?  Asthma.  Our cat Bronte has asthma, so we're familiar.  The initial treatment: steroids.  Which has made Boone hungry.  & I will feed him whenever he wants, so, once again, a cat is eating on my desk.

Do you smell this brand of cat food when you read the blog?  That's what I'm feeding him!  The wet stuff!  It's so gross!

He hasn't stopped coughing, but he has put on weight.  The wife is not convinced of the vet's diagnostic skills.  For now, I'm just glad he's eating.

Self Help Radio 062819: Doubt

(Original image here.)

Oh! The show's a little late today! I doubted I could have finished it on time, & I was right! That, by the way, is how you snatch victory from the jaws of doubt: doubt that you can accomplish something & then celebrate when you do in fact fail. It sustains me.

But the show is done, I think it's pretty good music-wise, but I have to give props to the funny people on the show today.  Their real names are Ryan, Russell, Allen, & Alyx, & they made me laugh so much while they were doing the fake interviews that I hope you'll laugh a lot too. Sometimes I feel stupid lucky these guys help me out with my dumb show.

Enough about all that. The show is doubtlessly over at Self Help Radio dot net at this very moment. You know there's a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) needed, right? Cool. Enjoy the show, see what's on it below, & don't doubt that I'll be back next week.

Self Help Radio Doubt Show

"Doubt" The 49 Americans _E Pluribus Unum_
"Doubt" The Cure _Faith_
"Doubt" Stereolab _Switched On_

introduction & definitions

"Reverberation (Doubt)" The 13th Floor Elevators _The Psychedelic World Of The 13th Floor Elevators_
"Shout Out Doubt" The Sponsors _Sponsors_
"Don't Doubt Yourself, Babe" The Byrds _Mr. Tambourine Man_
"Remove This Doubt" Elvis Costello _The Kojak Variety_
"Shadow Of A Doubt" Sonic Youth _Evol_

Interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently
Phone call from the show's lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"Doubts Even Here" New Order _Movement_
"Your Doubting Heart" The Hobbes Fanclub _Up At Lagrange_
"Benefit Of The Doubt" Vi Velasco _The Vi Velasco Album_
"No Doubt About It" The Shirelles _The World's Greatest Girls Group_
"Chinook (Sing From The Valley Of Doubt)" Louise Burns _Mellow Drama_

Interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Crippling Self Doubt & A General Lack Of Self Confidence" Courtney Barnett _Tell Me How You Really Feel_
"Inside Doubt" Bonnie Hayes & The Wild Combo _Good Clean Fun + Brave New Girl_
"Clouds Of Doubt" Faces In The Crowd _Hipsville, Vol. 2_
"You Better Be Doubtful" The Housemartins _The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death_
"Darkness & Doubt" The Mekons _Fear & Whiskey_

Interview with Gölden Överthrøw vocalist Tony Too Tights

"No Doubt About It" The Other Half _Mr. Pharmacist_
"No Doubt" Penny Candles _Borobudur 12"_
"No Doubt" Mick Harvey _Two Of Diamonds_
"In Doubt" Peter Gabriel _Passion (Music For The Last Temptation Of Christ)_
"Sense Of Doubt" David Bowie _"Heroes"_

Fun in the Self Help Radio Lab
Another phone call from the show's lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"Doubtful" The Moonglows _Windy City Harmonizers: Rarities From Chess Vocal Groups_
"Without A Doubt" The Righteous Brothers _Back To Back_
"Who Could Ever Doubt My Love" The Supremes _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 5: 1965_
"Without A Doubt" Major Lance _You Better Believe It! Vol. 1_
"Ain't No Doubt About It" Wilson Pickett _In Philadelphia_

conclusion & goodbyes

"In Love With The Doubt" Dolorean _You Can't Win_