Sunday, November 12, 2017

Back Again, There There

Where have I been? Was it a secret? Can I tell you that I'm a little paranoid so I often don't say where I am going because I imagine someone might use that information to break into my house & steal one of my cats. Not all of my cats. Probably just one.

Anyway, that's one of the reasons I don't usually announce where I am going in places that people might read like a blog or a supermarket (well, I know that's not a place that people read things like verbal announcements but it does remind me I do sometimes tell people in the soda aisle all about my plans & that usually ends with me being escorted out by a low-paid security guard who's just mad I've interrupted his "standing outside smoking" time), & it's also one of the reasons I don't do that "check in" thing people do on Facebook.  Again, one of these days I'm going to come home & find some ne'er-do-well has made off with one of my cats & I'll only have myself to blame.

What was I talking about?  I can't remember & I'm too lazy to read what I've already written, but I did want to say I was in Portland for the past few days & enjoyed it quite a bit despite the fact that I never once actually saw the sun any of those days plus it pretty much rained the entire time.  I wish I had some great stories about Portland but mainly it seems we drove around & ate a lot of great vegan food.  So much vegan food.  People often make jokes about overweight vegans - Patton Oswalt has one in his new special on Netflix - but I think there's something to be said about vegans being thought of as scrawny because there hasn't been a lot of great vegan restaurants & vegan options in the world.  Portland is correcting that.  Maybe overcorrecting.  I mean, there's a vegan cheese shop in Portland.  & it's fucking great.

Meanwhile.  Back to Self Help Radio.  A show this week about gas.  That's not a secret.

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