Whither Goodbye?

(All of my Peanuts books are in boxes, so I had to find this on Pinterest.)

Hopefully it's not coming as a shock to you that today's show is the last Self Help Radio in Lexington.  I know I didn't mention it until a few days ago, but I didn't want a repeat of last year, when I jumped the gun before plans were finalized.  I expect everyone to be skeptical, but it sunk in this weekend, as I packed many of my beloved records & CDs into boxes, that it's real.  Around this time in two days, my family of two humans, four dogs, & four cats will leave this place.  To say I'm not freaking out a little about it is a tiny lie.  I am freaking out a lot.

Today's show, then, is really goodbye.  I chose this theme, which I always imagined I would use on the very last Self Help Radio ever, mainly because I didn't want to do a radio show about Texas, Dallas, or Fort Worth.  (Although my friend Jenny did find an awesome Fort Worth song.)  Goodbye seemed simplest, sweetest, & more appropriate.  & of course my collaborators will be along to make it much more fun than if I were doing it on my own.

As always, you can follow the show on Twitter or like the show on Facebook to keep up with where the show ends up, if the show finds a radio station, if there's a podcast coming out, etc.  Or you can just read this blog.  I blather here five days a week.

In any event - the last Self Help Radio on WRFL airs today from 4-6pm on 88.1 fm in town & online at wrfl dot fm everywhere.  I hope you'll listen, & if you think of it, call in & say goodbye, or write goodbye.  I'll miss you!

Preface To Goodbye: U-Haul In The Driveway

Even though I am not very good at it, I love taking pictures.  (You can see the pictures I take on the show's Tumblr page.)  It's not something I've always done, like some people.  It's something I decided I wanted to do maybe just two or three years ago.

But there was a time - in seventh & eighth grade - when I was able to develop my own film & print my own photos.  I took photography class & was on my middle school's yearbook staff.  My pictures were mostly pedestrian, mainly because I didn't really know what I liked enough to take pictures of it.  My teacher - whose name, alas, I don't remember - even once told me I was trying too hard, like someone who had some vague notion of what "art" is but doesn't really know.  I think I once caught her laughing at some dumb picture I took, though she did try to hide it.  I was more embarrassed than offended.

The reason I am mentioning this is not to plug that page, but rather to relate that one regret (of many, I'm sure) is that I never took the time to just park my car in some parts of the city & walk around taking some pictures.  I was reminded of that today at the U-Haul place, which is near some interesting places, with delightful urban decay, anachronistic signage, & other things which I find fascinating, & should have taken the time to take some pictures of.  It was not meant to be.

Of course there will be many more places to go & many more pictures to take, but I do wish I had a lot more memories on digital film of this town.  Everything I do now I am conscious that I am doing for the last time - the last time I went to this town's Costco, the last time I went to my favorite cheap Chinese joint, etc.  It seems very unhealthy to do that, but I just can't stop.

& tomorrow - one last Self Help Radio in Lexington.  Oh jeez.

July 31st

On today's dog walk, I watched children - supervised by their parents - play with sparklers.  Sparklers are a mainstay of the Fourth Of July, of course, & it's - quite literally - twenty-seven days after that.  But if there's one thing I will remember about Kentucky, it's that the residents of this state will take any opportunity to use fireworks.  New Year's Eve?  Boom boom boom!  New Year's Day?  Why the hell not?  President's Day?  First Day Of Spring? Arbor Day? Light up the goddamned sky.

Fireworks are illegal in Texas for many reasons, some of which are obvious: it's drier there than here, so, fire.  Fire!  Fire that burns for days!  That doesn't stop folks from setting fireworks off, although in the two or three neighborhoods I lived in, in Austin, police were called & fines were levied.  This was in addition to the danger of bringing fireworks into  the city - sometimes there were checkpoints.  A decidedly perilous process for potential pyromaniacs.

But not so Kentucky!  My animals have had to react to many nights of pop pop bang.  I think I will miss that.  & not just because I think fireworks are cool.  Dude, I bought fireworks this year at Costco.  They were not the military-grade explode-in-the-lower-atmosphere types you have to spend top dollar for, but hey - they made some of my friends' kids happy, & isn't that the point?

Will they be fireworks in Texas?  & if so, when?  I hope to report on this in the future.  In the meantime - holy shit! I have a lot of packing still to do!

Putting Everything Into Boxes

Why does a house look empty even when it's filled with boxes?

The strangest thing I do - I'm sure some others do, but how the hell would I know? - is take things, like, say, a pile of papers related to a particular time period, & stick them in a drawer.  So when one is, for example, packing things up in anticipation of a move, one finds a few months' worth of strange memorabilia.  A drawer or shelf thus filled, a new pile emerges someplace else.

So I've relived today parts of the six years I've lived in Kentucky in bits & pieces as I pack stuff away.  Here are cards sent to me on every possible occasion by the dear sister that died last years, one of which says something like, I hope you know how much I enjoy our conversations.  They always put a smile on my face.  Over here are forms & stickers relating to some period at WRFL or another.  Still here are items that go back even further, to my time in West Virginia, when I tried to work for a literacy program.  Our minds often don't need to form memories, they know they're stored in the bits & pieces of life we save on scraps of paper, opened letters, saved notes or flyers.

Some friends from Lexington are coming over tonight.  I hope it goes well.  I have much such nice people here, & I know at the end of the night I'll wish I were less introverted & spent more time with them.  Once a loner, I wrote somewhere, probably imitating or ripping off someone, always alone.

Damn, I have a lot of CDs.  I hope I have enough boxes!

Self Help Radio 072616: Fashion

(Original image here.)

The next-to-the-last episode!  What excitement!  Like a fashion show!  Wait a second.  Nothing like a fashion show!  More like a garage sale!  Or standing outside waiting for movers to come!

Still, I'm sure my hard-hitting investigative radio show about fashions shook Los Angeles, New York City, London, Paris, & Tokyo to the core.  That Tim Gunn fellow probably woke up in a cold sweat last night.  Skinny runway models everywhere suddenly got hungry & ate two slices of pizza before their handlers forced them to regurgitate it.  Normal, everyday Americans suddenly felt good about shopping for food in their sweatpants/pajama-top combos.  A victory was struck, even if it were temporary, & I woke up with a simulacrum of the head of Cindy Crawford carved in vegetable fat at the bottom of my bed this morning.  I got the message.  & I will stop - but only because, you know, I have to do a different show with a different theme next week.

But the world got a taste of the power of Self Help Radio, & wisely found it lacking.

What else?  Nothing, really.  I hope the show was a lot of fun.  It's now at the Self Help Radio web site.  You know about the passwords & stuff by now.  The show's in two parts, an hour each, & the songs in the parts are listed below.

(part one)

"Fashion" David Bowie _Scary Monsters (& Super Creeps)_
"Dedicated Follower Of Fashion" The Kinks _The Kink Kontroversy_

"Fashion Is Danger" Flight Of The Conchords _I Told You I Was Freaky_
"Fashion Hurts" Xex _Group : Xex_
"Fashion Rules!" Chicks On Speed _99 Cents_
"Old Fashion" Baxendale _The Revenge Has Just Begun: The Story So Far_

"Fashion Concious" The Fresh Windows _Chocolate Soup For Diabetics, Vol. 1_
"Fashion" Otway & Barrett _The Wimp & The Wild_
"Fashion Street" The Get Quick _See You In The Crossfire_
"What Are You Wearing?" Kahimi Karie _K.K.K.K.K._

"Fashion Chant" Noh Mercy _Noh Mercy_
"Crimes Of Fashion" The Frenchmen _Sorry We Ruined Your Party_

(part two)

"The Fashion Plague" The Exits _This Is Mod, Vol. 2: More Rarities 1979-1981_
"It's Fashion" Girls At Our Best! _Pleasure_
"Fashion Show" The Shrubs _Take Me Aside For A Midnight Harangue_

"Fashion Forward" The Telephone Company _Panda Brain_
"Off With His Cardigan!" The Lucksmiths _What Bird Is That?_
"High Street Fashion" The Hepburns _The Last Thing I Saw Before I Said Goodbye_
"Fab Fad Fashions" Proctor & Bergman _Give Us A Break_
"Fashion Parade (ft Noddy Holder)" Misty's Big Adventure _Fashion Parade 7"_

"Fast-Fashion" Supermoon _Playland_
"Fashion Crisis Hits New York" The Frank & Walters _The Best Of The Frank & Walters_
"Fashion Zombies!" The Aquabats _Charge!!_
"Vagaries Of Fashion" Fujiya & Miyagi _Artificial Sweeteners_

"Boys Of Fashion Magazines" Kuruki _TV Scape_
"I Fell In Love With A Fashion Victim" The Rosehips _The Rosehips_

Whither Fashion?

(I found this picture here.)

Look, no one is less equipped than I to do an authoritative show about fashion.  I have never been & surely will never be fashionable.  It was just never meant to be.  Because I wish I could say, "It's not for lack of trying," but - I never tried.

But from the outside looking in, I suppose, I can make some observations, which I will do today.  Not just me!  I'll be talking about L.A. fashion with our man in Hollywood, Mark Miller, & I'll be talking with a real fashion designer, the great CJ Buchanan.  In the interests of fairness, I will talk to one David Fruchter, who crusades against fashion, & in the interests of spirituality, I'll ask my spiritual advisor to weigh in on the spiritual side of fashion.

Come to think of it, with all the music & guests, there'll probably be very little time for me to display my ignorance of fashion.  That's for the best, I'm sure.  Folks will tell you the most excellent Self Help Radio episodes are usually light on the "Gary" content.

Plus, it's the next-to-the-last Self Help Radio on WRFL!  It's on from 4-6 pm on 88.1 fm in Lexington & wrfl dot fm in the fashion world.  I certainly hope you're well-dressed enough to listen!

Preface To Fashion: Embarrassment Averted!

(This image from a website called superfashionable dot com.)

Getting older, one supposes, might bring wisdom & shit, but our own experience with old people suggest otherwise: things get messy.

This is especially true with my own brain, which discards information without bothering to ask me whether or not I want to keep it, like my mother throwing away all my papers & drawings one day when I was at school true story!  Oh god I think my brain might be my mother.

Sometimes, though rarely, I plan for just such an occasion.  For example, I made a page on my website listing all the themes I've done.  I'm pretty OCD but I don't actually double-check, when I think of a theme, if I've already covered it before.  I rely upon my memory ha ha ha urgh.

Anyhoo, a few weeks ago, I was all like, "Hey! Let's do a show about suits!" & I went about thinking of songs about suits, collecting them, saying "la la la" as the days passed & my life slowly got shorter.  Then, just last week, actually - after I announced that "suits" would be the theme next week on the show - I was looking for songs, & discovered one that was tagged "Self Help Radio."  Oh no, I thought.  & then I looked.  Oh yes.  I had actually done a show about suits almost exactly three years ago.

One big problem is that I had already recorded a bit with one of my collaborators.  Luckily we didn't talk about suits the entire time (when do they ever talk about the show's theme exclusively?), so I quickly checked to see if I had done a show about fashion - I had not! - & I changed the listing on the web site & thanked my lucky stars I have a kind of system of checks that prevents me from stupidly accidentally revisiting old themes.

But boy, would it have been embarrassing if my penultimate show were a kind of repeat!

The Most Important Question

(This is not me, these are not my CDs; it's a picture from here.)

There is a question folks like me - musicophiles, you could say, sub-category: deejays - must answer quickly once a move is planned: When do I pack up my music?

"My music" is of course primarily understood for folks in my advanced middle age as "vinyl & CDs," although I must include my computer, since I digitize & rip music onto that for each show.  The computer is probably the thing I will pack last, since I do so many things on it - although we'll not have internet access on our last day, having taken the equipment back to the cable company.

Let's see: I have a show on August 2, two days before I leave.  Do I really want to come home from my last show on WRFL to pack up hundreds of CDs?  No.  I need to plan better.

Because I am less than two weeks out, & I have made no plans at all.

A History Of Leaving, Concluded

(This image originally from here.)

It seems I have left WRFL twice before.  I took a semester off in early 2013 (from the station, not from the show, which I continued as a podcast for four months), & I made a big public exit just last year, anticipating a move to Los Angeles that never happened.  Now I am leaving for the last time.

You would be wise to be skeptical.  There are those who weirdly thought my leaving last year was a publicity stunt, & I've tried to ask them what did I get out of it, except losing my sweet Friday morning timeslot?  They think I did it for the satisfaction of fooling folks into thinking I was leaving. Because, you know, all the trolling I do.

This time I waited until it was absolutely certain that I would be gone before saying anything.  This past week I told station management that August 2 would be my last show (the theme had been posted before on the show's website as "the two-hour long goodbye," but I don't think many people pay attention to that).  I told them this because on August 4, my family & I will be leaving Lexington.

My wife got a job elsewhere, back in Texas, & she starts work on August 8.  She has resigned from her job here in town, & our house goes on the market on the day we leave.  We have rented a house in the hopes of exploring our new city & eventually buying a home there.  Already many of our things are in boxes.  It's very, very intense at our place at this moment.

But I'll understand if you're skeptical.  I am much like the boy who cried wolf & don't deserve to have anything I say taken seriously if you feel, like some do, that this too might be some kind of inscrutable prank.  Perhaps this comes across as strangely sudden, but we've known we were leaving for a while - I just didn't feel like making it into a countdown spectacle like I did last time.  You should only get one retirement party from the place you've worked at.  I don't want to double-dip like some kinda cheat.

What's the future of Self Help Radio?  In the short-term, there are two more shows on WRFL, this Tuesday & the next.  Where we're going, in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, has a few nice non-commercial radio opportunities for me, which I am eager to start exploring, even in the one hundred degree plus heat.  (I will miss Lexington's lovely mild springs & autumns, though its winters not so much.)  If I am unable to find a place for the show to continue its ridiculousness, I will certainly continue as a podcast as soon as I can.  I can't not do the show.  It's in my DNA.  Also, I have shows lined up.

You can, as always, keep up with the show by following its Facebook page (it would appreciate your "like") or its Twitter feed.  Or this blog.  All linked handily at Self Help Radio dot net.

& of course in this day & age, if you have a computer & you want to listen to shows, whether streamed from radio stations' websites or from the show's own, you're never more than a couple of mouse clicks away from Self Help Radio.

As always, I thank you for any time you might have spent listening to this ridiculous show I'm involved with.  It's with a heavy heart that I leave WRFL for the very last time.

Self Help Radio 071916: Hold On

(Original image found here.)

One thing I wanted to say about this show, which I am posting a day late: I wanted to hold on to this show as long as I could before sharing it with you.  That's not true, of course.  I was very busy yesterday.  I drove to Cincinnati & back.  I just didn't have time to put it on the website.

A second thing I wanted to say about this show, is that Jenny, who picked all the music for last week's show, told me she suggested this theme to me last year.  I have done a half-assed search of my email to see when exactly, & can't find it, but it's always a fair bet that any good ideas I think I have are probably someone else's, so if you liked this show, it's doubtless because Jenny knew it'd be a fine theme.

There's not a third thing that I wanted to say, but please be aware I am still a little OCD-happy that the entire show features nothing but songs called "Hold On."  I know, it's as meaningful as getting a "perfect attendance" ribbon or something, but the part of me that likes to see a playlist with the songs spaced so perfectly one atop another (like below), find its that order a dumb satisfaction.

Meanwhile! The show! It's at the Self Help Radio website.  Hold on, you'll need a username & password to access it, but that's on the site, it's all right, don't fret.  The show has been divided into two parts, reflecting the two hours of the program, & of course the songs I played are listed below.

(part one)

"Hold On" Half Japanese _Perfect_
"Hold On" Bob Mould _Patch The Sky_
"Hold On" Twin Peaks _Wild Onion_

"Hold On" The Bandana Splits _The Bandana Splits_
"Hold On" Yellow Ostrich _The Mistress_
"Hold On" The Postelles _The Postelles_
"Hold On" Former Ghosts _Fleurs_

"Hold On" The Shining Hour _Long Lost_
"Hold On" Darren Hanlon _Fingertips & Mountaintops_
"Hold On" The Junior League Band _Jelly Roll_
"Hold On" Tom Waits _Mule Variations_

"Hold On" Holly Golightly _The Good Things_
"Hold On" Nightblooms _I Lick You Because I Love You_

(part two)

"Hold On" The Train Set _Never California_
"Hold On" The Orchids _Lyceum_
"Hold On" Lou Reed _New York_

"Hold On" Sam Cooke _The Man Who Invented Soul_
"Hold On" The O'Jays _Big City Soul, Vol. 1_
"Hold On" Bernie Worrell _All The Woo In The World_

"Hold On" The Smooty Filth _Greenstuff_
"Hold On" Sharon Tandy & Les Fleur De Lys _Reflections_
"Hold On" The Mirage _We Can Fly, Vol. 2_
"Hold On!" Herman's Hermits _The Best Of Herman's Hermits_
"Hold On" John Lennon _Plastic Ono Band_

"Hold On!" The Redskins _Neither Washington Nor Moscow_
"Hold On" Age Of Chance _One Thousand Years Of Trouble_

Whither Hold On?

(I know it doesn't say "Hold On" but that's what the little thing is doing!  Image from here.)

That's right.  The theme today is "hold on."  Like I said yesterday, every damn song I play today will be called "Hold On."  Not "Baby Hold On" or "I'll Keep Holding On" or "Hold On I'm Coming" - just "Hold On."  Why?  Because I can.  Because I think of it as some kind of achievement.  Because it's part of my obsessive-compulsive disorder to organize radio shows, when possible, in this manner.  & guess what?  I have way more than two hours' worth!  So there.

There's nothing really to recommend this show otherwise, I realize.  But what else would you expect?  That's what this damn radio show is like!

It's on from 4-6pm today on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington.  You can also listen online at wrfl dot fm.  You can also call me at 257 WRFL.  & if you do, you can bet I'll say, "Hold on!"  Because I'm stupid like that.

Preface To Hold On: Some May Call It Obsession!

That's a Stan Lee title if I ever saw one!  I only need to add:

(I found that here.)

So - this has happened on Self Help Radio three times - I believe - with a fourth attempt that failed - & what is it we're talking about?  & furthermore why would you care?  This is the worst form of radio navel-gazing, an arguable "achievement" that has absolutely no bearing on the quality of the show.  It's the radio version of a kind of self-milestone of which no one is proud but the one who attempts it, unasked, unprompted, to mostly apathy if not downright derision.

It's this: doing an entire radio show with every song that's played having the same title.

Like I said, it's happened three times, with the following themes: Tell Me, Heaven (on my second attempt), & Everybody Knows (just last year).  My failure - I got through 3/4 of the show but couldn't sustain - was the Wonderful show.

Why would I mention this?  Because I believe I will try for a number four tomorrow: an entire show with every song having the same title.  That title?  "Hold On."

Will Self Help Radio succeed in this competition that means nothing to anyone but itself?  You'll have to listen to find out!

...But hey, I understand that you probably don't care, in which case, it's totally cool if you don't listen. That's what happens most of the time anyway, dumb self-challenge or not.  Everyone understands!

Chapter XII: Right Before The Scene Of The Crime

The Contessa entered the parlor, oblivious to the gentlemen sitting in her family's antique chairs.  She was preoccupied about family business.

"Whom are you?" she said, grammatically incorrectly, to the strangers.

"We're police detectives, ma'am," said the one who looked & smelled like sausage.

"The constabulary?" she said, aghast.  "Why would you have been called?"

"It appears," said the mousey one, looking at a notebook, "there was a complaint last night, about," he flipped a few pages, "screams of agony & shrieks as if from hell itself."

"Well," the Contessa said, "we did have some friends over."

"Ah," said Sausage-Man, "& where are your friends now?"

"They have retired to their quarters," sniffed the Contessa.  "But of course the shrieks were from the murdered people."

"Murdered?" the two detectives asked, almost simultaneously.

"Yes, murdered," the Contessa said, "naturally.  They were killed in the ceremony, & consumed afterwards."

"Consumed?" said the Mouse.  "You mean, eaten?"

"Oh," the Contessa said, with a weary gesture, "it was the same old ritual.  Kill the strangers, feast on their flesh."  She gave them both a knowing look.  "It was a Thursday, for Pete's sake!"

"Ma'am," Sausage said, "are you admitting to a crime?"

The Contessa looked at him blankly.

"I mean to say," Sausage corrected himself, tugging uncomfortably at his collar, "are you saying you killed someone here?"

"Oh! Heavens no!" she said, to the relief of the two obviously distraught policemen.  "No, we have the help do that.  Oh Jenkins!"

A stiff butler type appeared, almost magically, from behind an unseen door.  His chin high, he seemed incapable of holding his head any other way.  "Ma'am?" he said.

"Please tell these awful man about the people you killed," she told him.

"Indeed," he said.  He turned to the baffled lawmen.  "During the ceremony I murdered an alcoholic drifter, as well as the rebellious teenage daughter of one of Madame's chambermaids."

Sausage turned to Mouse.  They shrugged their shoulders in turn.

"Ah," said Mouse.  "How - how did you murder them?"

"Poison," said the butler.  "In their food."  He paused, thoughtfully, & turned to his mistress.  "It would not have stayed in the portions of them that you would consume, Madame," he said.

"Good, good," said the Contessa.

"What the fuck?" said the Sausage.

"Yes, yes," said the Contessa, "take him away, hang him, he's a menace to our community, all that, now, please, do not tarry in my family's antique chairs any longer!"  & she fanned herself as she made her way to the front room.

"I plead guilty to all charges," said the butler, half-heartedly holding his hands out to be cuffed.

"Um," the Mouse said to the Sausage.  "Can we - uh - can we see the bodies?"

"Or what's left of them?" said the Sausage to the butler.

"Certainly, sir," said the butler, "right this way."  He paused, appearing to think something over, "other remains might appear in some of our guests' leavings."

The Mouse threw up on a family heirloom.

"C'mon," said the Sausage.  "Get yourself together."

"Rich people," the Mouse choked.

"Rich people," the Sausage agreed.  "Am I right?"

Self Help Radio 071216: The Wild Show

(Original image - I'm sorta embarrassed about this one - is here.)

Suddenly today I have found myself with no time & so this has to be done in a rush & who knows how many mistakes I'll make but that's how it is when one's life is wild but let's review the facts:

- Self Help Radio was on yesterday.
- Local musician Jenny picked all the music.
- It went swimmingly, a rarity when it's just Gary by himself.
- Now the show is available online.
- It's at Self Help Radio dot Net.
- The songs Jenny picked are listed below.

Is that it?  Did I cover everything?  Okay then.  I gotta get out there - the wild life is calling!  Or is the wildlife?  If so, how can I be sure they won't eat me?

(part one)

"Wildwood Flower" The Carter Family _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 1 (1927-1928)_
"Cigareets, Whuskey, & Wild Women" Big Three Trio _Signifying Monkey_
"The Cry Of The Wild Goose" Tennessee Ernie Ford _The Golden Age Of Country Music 1950-1953_

"Crazy Wild Desire" Webb Pierce _Cross Country_
"The Joker Went Wild" Brian Hyland _The Philips Years & More 1964-1968_
"Your Wild Heart" Joy Layne with Carl Stevens & His Orchestra _I Wish I Were A Princess (The Great Lost Female Teen Idols)_
"Wild One" Bobby Rydell _Bobby's Biggest Hits_
"Any Day Now (My Wild Beautiful Bird)" Chuck Jackson _The Look Of Love: The Burt Bacharach Collection_

"Wild & Free" Curtis Mayfield _Curtis_
"I'm Wild About You" Al Green _Lay It Down_
"Wild Night" Van Morrison _Tupelo Honey_
"Wild World" Cat Stevens _Tea For The Tillerman_
"Frank's Wild Years" Tom Waits _Swordfishtrombones_

"The Wild One" Leith Steven's All Stars _Jazz Themes From The Wild One_
"Wild About You" The Same _This Is Mod, Vol. 2: More Rarities 1979-1981_
"You Drive Me Wild" The Runaways _The Runaways_

(part two)

"Wild Thing" X _Beyond & Back: The X Anthology_
"Real Wild Child" Iggy Pop _Blah Blah Blah_
"Reap The Wild Wind" Ultravox _Quartet_

"Wild Is The Wind" David Bowie _Station To Station_
"I'll Call You Wild" Grant McLennan _Horsebreaker Star_
"I Get Wild/Wild Gravity" Talking Heads _Speaking In Tongues_

"Running Wild" La Sera _Hour Of The Dawn_
"Drove Me Wild" Tegan & Sara _Heartthrob_
"Wild" The Babies _The Babies_
"Wild Love" Tanya Donelly _Swan Song Series_

"Wild Horses" The Rolling Stones _The London Years_

Whither The Wild Show?

(This picture came up when I looked up "wild" in Google Images, from here.)

Why is Self Help Radio today "The Wild Show"?  That's an easy one!  Friend of the show Jenny wanted to do an episode, I am a generally lazy sort, so I said, "Sure!"  She picked all the songs & will be on hand to chat on the air.  Hooray!

There's nothing else to say, except listen!  You'll see how much better other people do Self Help Radio than I do!  It's on from 4-6pm today on 88.1 fm in town & online at wrfl dot fm in places wild & free!

Preface To The Wild Show: Wild On Radio

(Image from here.)

Do you watch travel shows?  I can't say that I have.  But I do remember flipping channels in the early 00s & seeing this show on the E Network, probably while waiting for Talk Soup to come on.  Or maybe I watched segments of it back in the late 90s because boy Jules Asner was cute.  (I don't know who that is up there.)

One reason I couldn't stomach those kinds of shows is because I knew that, when I traveled, I was more likely to sleep in my car than in a five star hotel.  In fact, up until I turned 30 or so, that's exactly what I did.  It would've been weird for me to pay for a place to sleep while on the road (since there was doubtless one, usually a friend's house, at my destination), & there was a perfectly good car right there for anyone to sleep in.  Boy, though, do cars get cold at night!

Would you consider "Wild On" a reality show?  Because I've never sat through one of those intentionally my entire life, either.  Once I remember going to a place with my girlfriend's grad student friends because they were watching some show about a hotel on an island or something.  Having known funny people in my life (some of whom actually help on SHR) who watch terrible movies or television  partly in order to mercilessly mock them (something I don't generally enjoy, but which was worth it for being around such hilarious people), I expected there to be some kind of celebration of irony, derision of the awful people involved, but everyone there was actually emotionally invested in the "reality" of the island hotel boat or whatever.  I spent the evening sitting outside, smoking, & chatting with the dog.

Actually, I think that someone gave me a CD before I went to Europe that had travel programs about London & Paris.  Who was that?  I didn't watch them.  I don't think I ever considered watching them. Wow!  Now I feel like a dick!

It's hard to learn when the best time is be up front with people about your - what would I call them? predilections? idiosyncrasies? habits?  To tell them, no, I don't really enjoy this or that sort of thing, sorry.  But thank you!

It's ultimately an isolating thing, this definition of self.  It may be part of introversion, actually.  Unless one's definition of self is more adventurous, more accepting, less limiting.  In which case it could be part of extroversion.  Hm.  I'll think on it some more.

All Around You

This early morning - with very little sleep in the preceding sixteen hours under my belt or over my pillow - I commenced to play music for three hours on the radio, from 3 to 6 am.  I had napped some on Saturday afternoon, but had basically been up "all day" by the time I started sticking CDs into the players at the station.  I don't recall a single thing I said on air or to callers, but that's probably just a matter of self-defense.

Meanwhile, about nine hundred miles away, the love of my life was waiting to board a plane & return to me.  She, too, was tired, having been in the Dallas/Fort Worth area on business.  The night before, she told me, she hadn't slept.  As her flight kept getting delayed - because of bad weather - we texted back & forth, until it seemed like I'd be picking her just moments before I was to go on the air at 3am.  But though she & her fellow passengers had boarded the plane, there was a malfunction with one of the aircraft's door's, & they deplaned, no more flights available till morning.

Lexington was a little chilly when I emerged from the radio station & drove home.  My dogs, as always, acted as though I'd been gone so long they barely remembered me; my cats barely remembered me.

The last song I played - wait - before I talk about this, let me say, yes, my wife made it home safely, I picked her up from the airport just before 6pm, & she came home, & I made her dinner, & we walked the dogs, & we watched Preacher & the new Match Game & I was very happy she was home.

What I wanted to mention is that the last song I played this morning - or maybe the next-to-the-last song I played - was "Favour" by the Wake.  It begins with the lines, "If you have a moment, all around you..."

At some point during the day I became haunted by the repetition of the words "all around you."  Many of the lyrics are, to me, unintelligible, made difficult to understand by the music, but when I hear the song start, in my head, I hear, "all around you."

Then I look around.

& then I wonder: how long will I be able to look around, & see the same thing?

Saturday List

Here is Saturday's list:

1) Tortilla chips
2) Chatty cashiers
3) Mowing & re-mowing the lawn
4) Books on tape on iPhone
5) Three false alarms
6) Millet
7) You don't really need to
8) Text interrupts nap
9) Time is tight
10) Late for show

Self Help Radio 070516: Bread

(Original image here.)

No fooling, I gained weight during this show.  I kept going to the pantry for "research."  For "inspiration."  Finally I realized I had a problem.  With bread.

This show celebrates bread, so anyone who can eat an entire baguette while in the midst of a casual conversation should stay away from this show.  I even heard that three local bakeries had to close because of a rush on artisan breads!  I heard that from my cats, though, & they wouldn't know such a thing.

For those who can stomach it (pun intended), here is this week's Self Help Radio, about bread.  It's at the Self Help Radio website.  It's wrapped for freshness.  Actually, it's sliced - into only two slices, but it is sliced!  The different songs that are in each slice are listed below.  Pretend it's a list of essential vitamins & minerals & that the show is actually nutritious.  Spoiler alert: it's not!

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a hunk of sourdough bread positively screaming my name.

(one slice)

"The Breads In Your Bakery" PBNJ Buchanan _The Breads In Your Bakery_
"Bread" Jonny _Jonny_
"Bread" Norma Tanega _The DynoVoice Story_

"Breakin' Bread" Fred Wesley & The JB's _Breakin' Bread_
"Welfare Bread" King Khan & The Shrines _What Is?!_
"(Get Off That) Booze & Garlic Bread" Denny Rockwell _(Get Off That) Booze & Garlic Bread_
"Bread & Butter" The Newbeats _The Best Of The Newbeats_

"Ezekiel Bread" Half-Handed Cloud _Thy Is A Word + Feet Need Lamps_
"Es Como El Pan" Jonathan Richman _Because Her Beauty Is Raw & Wild_
"(I'm Just A Crumb In Your) Bread Box Of Love" Ted Taylor _Taylor Made_
"Wooden Bread" Bruce Haack _Hush Little Robot_

"Dry Bread" Hank Thompson _Songs For Rounders_
"Bread & Circus" Marc Almond _Varieté_

(another slice)

"Yea! Heavy & A Bottle Of Bread" Bob Dylan & The Band _The Basement Tapes_
"Beans & Corn Bread" Louis Jordan _Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five, Vol. 4: 1947-1949_
"Bread Crumbs" Bishop Allen _Lights Out_

"Good Old Bosom Bread" Hot Lips Page _1938-1940_
"Bread Line Blues" Slim Smith _Hard Times Come Again No More, Vol. 1 (Early American Rural Songs Of Hard Times & Hardships)_
"I Love Bread" Jim Gaffigan _The Last Supper_
"The Baker's Wife" The Lucksmiths _Boondoggle_
"Bread" Neil Phillips _Supermarket_

"Bread & Gravy" Martha Davis _1946-1951_
"Two Little Fishes & Five Loaves Of Bread" Sister Rosetta Tharpe _The Original Soul Sister (1943-46)_
"Breaking Bread" Johnny Cash _Unearthed_
"Goodbye Bread" Ty Segall _Goodbye Bread_

"Cuttin' The Cornbread" Ralph Stanley _Old-Time Pickin': A Clawhammer Banjo Collection_
"Bread & Gravy" Homer & Jethro _Ooh, That's Corny_
"I'm Your Bread Maker, Baby" Slim Harpo _The Excello Singles Anthology_

Whither Bread?

(Image found here.)

Oh good grief I eat a lot of bread.  I just ate bread with my lunch, & also chips.  It was a dish called "southwestern mac & 'cheese'" so of course I trebled up on the carbs & starches.  Damn it!

One thing I've never made (since I do cook all the time) is bread.  I don't know why I haven't.  I mean, I've made cornbread, which is a kind of bread, but never wheat bread.  Or potato bread or rice bread or whatever.  Okay I'll admit it: I'm a little scared of baking.

What about cake?  I've made cakes.  Does that count?  Not really?

As I finish up listening to all the songs I've gathered for the show - far more songs about bread than will fit in two hours - I can tentatively promise you a pretty good show.  As well, I have interviews out the wazoo, which may be, after all the bread I've consumed, the only thing coming out of the wazoo for a while if you know what I mean & I think you do.

So do listen today from 4-6pm on 88.1 fm & simultaneously on wrfl dot fm.  I hope that all the music & chat that I have prepared will be hearty enough to fill two hours like two giant slices of sandwich bread.

Ho ho, I crack myself up.

Preface To Bread: On The Fourth Of July I Compare My Dogs To Different Types Of Bread

In discussion with my wife today, who may or may not know that Self Help Radio this week is about bread, we agreed upon four things (a rarity) in regards to the types of bread our canines would be if they were to suddenly become bread.  Here's what we decided, from the youngest dog, to the oldest.

Yoko would be cornbread.

Delicious.

Pauline would be a baguette.

Scrumptious.

Winston would be an onion bagel.

Messy but tasty.

& old Ringo would be rye bread.  Probably very dark rye bread.

Earthy.

If you've ever wondered what gets talked about during dog walks, well, it probably doesn't get a whole lot deeper than this.

The Obligatory Pre-Independence Day Calvin & Hobbes Cartoon

One Last Chance To Take It Easy

When first thinking about the idea of Self Help Radio - well, what I was going to say was just not true.  I wasn't thinking much about "the idea of Self Help Radio" back in 2002 when I started this show.  I was thinking about doing a radio show again after not having a regular gig since I left KVRX in 1999, & I had to come up with a kind of gimmick to justify my existence on KOOP.  This is true - most of the things that make up the average Self Help Radio episode - with the exception of songs adhering to a theme - weren't there in the first episodes.  Maybe not in the first year!

Anyway, later on, I would ask folks who were musicians (& usually friends of mine) if they would like to contribute to the show in some way - mostly, of course, by contributing a song for a particular theme.  The big question is of course "Why?"  Why would anyone want to contribute anything to this unimportant radio show?  Luckily, some people did - for reasons I can't imagine - & just this week it happened again!

Jenny of Owlsey County recorded a lovely, slyly transformative version of a song I have issues with.  I am so very grateful she took the time to do it, & am very flattered it appeared on this week's show.  Here it is, please enjoy:

Self Help Radio 062816: Take It Easy

(Original image here.)

This was a fun show for me to do.  I had a great time finding songs - there were so many I left out! - which mentioned "take it easy" - seriously, I had a bevy of them from the 1930s to the present.  Plus, my collaborators - you know, the funny people on the show - were totally on point.  & best of all, local musician Jenny A from Owlsey County performed for the show a lovely cover of an Eagles song that I am now going to stop complaining about.

The irony, of course, is that so much work went into a show about taking it easy.  I hope it showed.  I felt pretty good after this one, which was a weird feeling for me.  I thought I might have food poisoning or strep throat or something.  I almost went straight to the emergency room.

But anyway, here it is, this week's show about taking it easy.  That's a link to the show's website.  Pay attention to password info, available in the paragraph above the show's playlist.  Meanwhile, the songs I played are listed below.

The rest of the day, I think I'll just take it easy.

(part one)

"Take It Easy" Fats Waller & His Rhythm _1935, Volume I_
"Take It Easy" Speckled Red _Complete Recorded Works 1929-1938_
"Take It Easy" Guy Lombardo & His Royal Canadians _The Sweetest Music This Side Of Heaven_

"Take It Easy, Greasy" Lil Johnson _Complete Works In Chronological Order, Vol. 1 (1929-1936)_
"I'm Gonna Take It Easy" Gabriel Brown _Roll & Tumble Blues: A History Of Slide Guitar_
"Taking It Easy" The Weavers _Goodnight Irene, 1949-1953_
"Relax & Take It Easy" Tommy Duncan With The Ranger Trio _Atomic Platters_

"Take It Easy, Greasy" Bobby Charles _The Chess Story, 1947-1975_
"Take It Easy Baby" Rufus Beacham _Soldier Boy: The Scepter Records Story 1961-1962_
"Take It Easy" The Animals _Animal Tracks_
"Take It Easy" Hopeton Lewis _The Story Of Jamaican Music: Forward March 1958-1967_

"Take It Easy" Jenny _Take It Easy_
"Take It Easy" Mint Royale _Pop Is_

(part two)

"Take It Easy My Brother Charles" Jorge Ben _Tropicalia: A Brazilian Revolution In Sound_
"Take It Easy Baby" Ty Karim _The Complete Ty Karim: Los Angeles' Soul Goddess_
"Take It Easy" Manuela & Drafi _Die Grossen Hits_

"Takin' It Easy" Johnny Tillotson _Here I Am_
"Gotta Take It Easy" The Cherry Slush _Day Don't Come_
"Takin' It Easy" Jack Wild _Everything's Coming Up Roses_
"Take It Easy (In Your Mind)" Jerry Reed _Smell The Flowers_
"Take It Easy Rider (feat. Guy Clark & Larry Jon Wilson)" David Allan Coe _I've Got Something To Say_

"Take It Easy" Gary Young _Naked In The Afternoon: A Tribute To Jandek_
"Take It Easy" Bourbon Family _Happy Bourbon Party_
"Take It Easy" Stanley Brinks & Freschard _Pizza Espresso_
"Take It Easy" Ghinzu _Mirror Mirror_

"Take It Easy" Surfer Blood _Astro Coast_
"Take It Easy" Willie Rodriguez & The International Stars _A Bunch Of Bongos_

Whither Take It Easy?

(This is from here.)

Before I forget: there's a story I've been meaning to mention.  Last week I was on my way to a meeting, a meeting I hope I can tell you about one day soon, & I noticed a big black ant in my car.  These ants occasionally find their way into my house, I'm always swatting them away in the kitchen.

Now, even though I am a vegan, I am ambivalent about insects.  I don't feel much closeness to them, except maybe bees, & besides I'm scared of scary insects, & have stomped them out of fear without remorse.  & so, in general, I am not as sad about a dead ant as I might be about a chipmunk which my dog Pauline (my beautiful murderer!) has killed in the backyard.

& yet, as I was driving to this meeting, just me & this ant, I started to feel very, very sad about her.  She was very far away from her anthill (or whatever social ant situation she lived in), & it seemed to me that, even if the ant stayed in the car until I got home, she might not be able to find her way back.  In fact, when I pulled in to the place where I had the meeting, the ant had disappeared into a vent on the dashboard.

Truth is, I had forgotten all about the little thing by the time the meeting was over, & I had to go run some errands.  The windows were open & I was singing along to something when the little ant crawled out onto the door right next to me, took a wrong turn, & flew out the window into the warm summer day.

She probably didn't die - insects are awful sturdy - but she was now impossibly far from home.  & that made me sad.  It was a feeling that I couldn't shake for the rest of the day.  I don't feel any real emotion when I step on a bug, but something about the little ant finding itself so very far from home got to me.  What's up with that?

What does this have to do with today's theme, which is "take it easy"?  Oh who knows.  Just be aware, it's on from 4-6 pm today on 88.1 fm WRFL & online at wrfl dot fm.  Like usual.  I hope you'll listen.

Special note to ants: stay out of the car!

Preface To Take It Easy: Well, I Haven't

This is perhaps a thing: I don't really know how to take it easy.  I wouldn't even know how.  I mean, what does that even entail?

Look at this link.  "Taking it easy" is framed as a kind of battle between you & stress.  Is that it?  When one "takes it easy," is one combatting stress?  Or are we vilifying stress?

Before anyone attempts to answer that, it must be said that Self Help Radio & its subsidiaries (should it have any) do not in any way support or promote stress.  It is commonly & correctly understood that 

stress is a bad thing.  But is it?

This is not a question I am asking nor an argument I am wanting to have.  It isn't even a subject I am (to be frank) interested in.  However, I had a stupid argument tonight with my wife about something completely dumb involving leaving doors open that cats who aren't allowed outside are able to use to get outside which leads to cats being lost or whatever & then whose fault is it?  The person who opened the door or the person who left the door open?  Anyway it's lucky Boone came back isn't it?  ISN'T IT?

Ahem.  It remains to assure you as a valued listener that even if the host of Self Help Radio ("Gary") finds it difficult if not impossible to "take it easy," this does not mean (we hope) there will be any loss of quality for a show with such a theme.  We hope.  Did we already say "we hope"?  Well, there you have it.

Apropos "Take It Easy"

That's this week's theme, "Take It Easy."  I understand there's a famous song, called "Take It Easy," performed by one of the most extinction-worthy dinosaur rock bands out there, the Eaglets.  (I think that's the name.)  I've heard that song - which was released in 1972, when I was four - most of my life, & so have you.  I can close my eyes & run the song through my head.  This is not to say I enjoy it.  I don't.  I find it stupidly masculine & embarrassingly misogynistic.  But it's been on the radio since around the time I learned to read, & therefore it's in my brain, probably replacing a happy childhood memory or two.

None of this means I won't play some version of the song on my show this week.

It was with a small amount of sadness that I learned that the song was written by Jackson Browne, whom I don't hold in terribly high regard but I certainly don't think of him in the same sad sense as the Eagleys (is that thename?).  This is what Jackson Browne looked like in 1972, when he wrote the song with recently dead Eagerly, Glen Frey:

(Image from this web site in a foreign language.)

Somehow I don't associate Jackson Browne with the sort of bullshit cowboy machismo of the dreadful Eagrets.  I have always - perhaps unfairly - lumped him in with the more sensitive singer-songwriters of the 1970s, not as wimpy as James Taylor but certainly not as sincerely brilliant as, say, Cat Stevens.  I will confess to liking one or two Jackson Browne songs.

But not this one.  In an email recently I referred to the audacity of Browne, whom I called a "wimpy little pre-emo shit," cursing the world with such awful lines as "driving down the road trying to loosen my load" & "I'm looking for a lover who won't blow my cover."  Pretty boys lead such complicated lives!

What is there to do with the problem of this problematic tune?  I believe I've found an elegant solution, but you'll have to wait till Tuesday to hear it.

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

Is a song by Burt Bacharach & Hal David.  The first time I heard the song was by Elvis Costello, from his "sort of punk" years:



In those days - I was still in high school - I was pretty earnest about my Elvis Costello studies, so I recall being particularly moved by the lines:

Like a summer rose
Needs the sun & rain
I need your sweet love
To beat all the pain

It was my first experience with the brilliance of Hal David's lyrics.

Later on, of course, I heard the version lots of folks think is definitive, which is Dusty Springfield's:



Although there are those who prefer Dionne Warwick's:



Maybe because it was produced by Bacharach himself?

Is it weird I still prefer Elvis Costello's?  & no, I can't listen to the White Stripes version.  Nope.

Self Help Radio 062116: Torture

(Poor old bear!  Original here.)

Does a show about torture constitute torture?  Is it a form of self-torture to be tortured by that question?  Are these real questions or are they rhetorical so one need not torture oneself to discover the answers?

The answers won't surprise you: no, no, they're rhetorical.  Boom!  All done.  Everyone can go home now.

Of if you didn't hear the show, you can listen to it now as if you're chained to a wall & have nothing better to do with your time at the Self Help Radio website, which can be pretty torturous if you don't know there's a username & password & that that username & password combo is on the front page.  The songs are listed below.

Oddly enough, no one gave me any of the information I wanted during the course of the show.  Dad gum it, torture doesn't work after all!

(part one)

"Torture" Del Shannon _Home & Away: The Complete Recordings 1960-1970_
"Torture" A-440 _Mindrocker: Anthology Of 60s US-Punk Garage Psych, Vol. 4_
"Torture" The Everly Brothers _Gone, Gone, Gone_

"Torture" The Cure _Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me_
"Torture" The Psychedelic Furs _Midnight To Midnight_
"Torture" King Khan & The Shrines _The Supreme Genius Of King Khan & The Shrines_
"Ye Tortures" Spike Milligan _Muses With Milligan_
"Torture" The Virgin-Whore Complex _Stay Away From My Mother_

"Two Years Of Torture" Percy Mayfield _The Swingtime Records Story_
"My Tortured Mind" Amos Milburn _The Complete Aladdin Recordings_
"It's Torture" Maxine Brown _Oh No, Not My Baby: The Best Of Maxine Brown_
"Torture" Hairy Diamond _Beikoku-Ongaku Magazine # 19 - Fall 2001_

"Torture Day" The Notwist _12_

(part two)

"Methods Of Torture" Negativland _Escape From Noise_
"It's Torture" Jean Shepard _The Melody Ranch Girl_
"Water Torture" Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel _Hole_

"Tortured Soul" The Fauves _Tortured Soul_
"The Torturers" Po! _Little Stones_
"Sweet Torture" How Many Beans Make Five _One Last Look_
"The Spanish Inquisition" Monty Python _The Final Rip-Off_
"Life Is A Tortured Love Affair" Coke Escovedo _Coke_

"Tender Torture" Islands _Vapours_
"You Torture Me" Art Kubin _The Hit Sound Of Art Kubin_
"Torture Me" Harlem _Hippies_
"Torture Me" Peter Himmelman _The Musings Of Someone_

"Torture" The Wolfhounds _Lost But Happy: The Wolfhounds 1986-1990_

Whither Torture?

(This is from here.)

May I give you a little backstory?  When I first started doing this blog, I conceived of a weekly entry - always to begin with the pretentious word Whither? - detailing how I came up with those darn themes every week.  Over time, this task - which I have continued to do nonetheless, for almost ten years now - revealed itself as something mostly mundane.  There were never any great revelations about why I had decided to do a theme.  In fact, they mostly came down to a few reasons:

1) It's a time of year (Halloween, Christmas, etc.)
2) I was listening to a song or lots of songs & the theme was in the song(s).
3) Someone suggested it.
4) I can't really remember.

This is not scientific - I'm not going to go back & read ten years of posts to check - but I wouldn't be surprised if reason number four is the most common explanation I've used.  Actually, it might not be, not because it isn't true, but because out of embarrassment for reason number four, I often come up with this:

5) Make something up.

It's not that I have a great imagination or anything, I just get tired of saying "I don't remember why I thought of that theme."  I'm certainly not intending to deceive.  These are no Donald Trump-level lies - in fact, the only thing they have in common with Trump's lies are their obviousness.*  No, I am making shit up because I don't want to have to write "Who knows where this theme came from?" over & over, week after week.

Having said all that: I don't know why I thought about doing a show about torture.  It might have been from listening to Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me a couple of months ago.  I don't know!

But no matter.  The Self Help Radio show about torture is on today from 4-6pm on 88.1 fm in Lexington & online at wrfl dot fm.  If you resist, we have ways of making you listen.

Get it?  I threatened to torture you if you didn't listen!  Humor, it's fun.**

* Sorry, sudden political content.
** I'm also on from 2-4pm today subbing Tyler's show.  I'm sorry this isn't a proper footnote, but I couldn't think of where to say this anywhere up there.

Preface To Torture: Being Provocative On The Radio

(I found this here.)

In general, Self Help Radio isn't a political show.  In general, it can hardly be considered "entertaining."  But when I told some folks the show this week would be about torture, they reacted like I was becoming the next - well - whoever's a popular talking head on radio these days.  I have no idea.

Here's the thing: my topics are basically just outlines to be filled by the music available that comes somewhat close to being about whatever the theme is.  & I promise you, there aren't a whole lot of songs that talk about torture in the sense of Abu Ghraib.  Mostly it's a hyperbolic description of how someone - usually an object of love - has made you feel.

In fact, most of my themes - the ones that aren't goofy phrases or words that don't intrinsically give themselves over to thematic radio shows - veer toward the metaphorical rather than the actual.  My show about chickens from so very long ago was not always about chickens - you know, because "chicks" can mean something other than baby chickens.

While I can't promise I won't utter the phrase "enhanced interrogation," I can promise you that most of the torture on the show will not involve implements from the Inquisition.

Most.  But maybe some.

In any event.  I hope I have set your mind at ease.  In case, you know, you're a fan of torture.  Or something.

Cradle To Grave, Episode Twenty-Five

Here it is, the last episode of Cradle To Grave!  It was a bittersweet affair, starting late (I was outside the studio chatting with someone), & beset by technical difficulties (user error), which I corrected in post (ie, removed from the recording because embarrassment).  Oh my god, did I say "corrected in post"?  I don't deserve a radio show!

One nice thing is there's a song that's a tribute to my cat Beatrice.  If I had done the show longer - & paid more attention - I would've tried to incorporate people I know (since most of the people I know are cats) in some way.  I didn't do it, but I promised I'd make a list of the birthdays of the sorts of folks (you know, indie musicians) (as well as my friends) who don't make it onto "on this day in music history" type lists.

Ah well.  Water under the bridge.  Lessons to be taken to heart when/if Cradle To Grave comes back.

Meanwhile, you can listen to this last show by visiting the Self Help Radio web page.  The deaths & births I talk about are listed below, although sometimes it's a sideperson whose life is the subject, so you gotta listen to find out who!  Whom?  To find out whom!

& thanks to anyone who might've listened to this show & the twenty-four that preceded it!

(birthdays)

"Tennessee Saturday Night" Red Foley _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 14 (1947-1948)_
"Barnyard Banjo Pickin'" David Stringbean Akeman _Old Time Banjo: Vintage String Sound_
"The Cry Of The Wild Goose" Terry Gilkyson _Troubadours: Folk & The Roots Of American Music, Part 1_
"Who Threw The Whiskey In The Well" Sing Miller _Old Times With Sing Miller_
"Hogan's Heroes March" Hogan's Heroes Cast _Hogan's Heroes Sing The Best Of World War II_

"Pussy Cat" Twink _The Broken Record_
"Be-Bop-A-Lula" Gene Vincent _Classic Rockabilly: Swing Bop Boogie_
"Pogo Dancing" Chris Spedding & The Vibrators _Pogo Dancing_
"Television Screen" The Radiators From Space _The Chiswick Story: Adventures Of An Independent Record Label 1975-1982_
"Kill The Poor" Dead Kennedys _Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables_
"Living In Vain" Snakefinger _Change The Beat: The Celluloid Records Story 1979-1987_
"I Write The Songs" Me First & The Gimme Gimmes _Barry 7"_

"Early In The Morning" Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five _Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five, Vol. 4: 1947-1949_
"Wail Of The Scromph" Gene Sedric & Al Casey _The World Of Swing_
"Where Are We Going?" Donald Byrd _Black Byrd_

(death anniversaries)

"Oriental Strut" Louis Armstrong & His Hot Five _Hot Fives & Sevens_
"The Moon Song" Kate Smith _Hollywood Sings! The Girls_
"My Ship" Jackie Paris _Jackie Paris Sings The Lyrics Of Ira Gershwin_
"The More I See You" Jeff Chandler _Jeff Chandler Sings To You_
"Tristeza De Nós Dois" Wanda Sá & Durval Ferreira _Um Cantinho, Um Violão E Bossa Nova_

"Rock Around The Clock" Bill Haley & His Comets _Loud, Fast & Out Of Control: The Wild Sounds Of '50s Rock_
"A Little Loving" The Fourmost _The British Invasion_
"Open Up Your Door" Richard & The Young Lions _Nuggets: Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era, Vol. 4_
"Thread The Needle" Clarence & Calvin _The Fame Studios Story 1961-1973_
"Just Friends" Chris & Peter Allen _The Get Easy! Sunshine Pop Collection_

"We're Looking For A Piano" Original Cast _Salad Days (Original London Cast Recording)_
"Space Oddity (Live)" Flying Pickets _The Best Of Flying Pickets_

"Infinity" Eon _Void Dweller_

Oh, Hey

Um, I did my last episode of Cradle To Grave yesterday, & normally I put the show up on the day after, but, you know, it's weird, it was draining, I just wanted to take a day off.

So I took the day off.  I hope you don't mind.

Self Help Radio 061416: Fog

(Original image here.)

Yes, a radio show about fog.  It occurs to me I didn't mention why I was doing a radio show about fog.  The answer is, I'm not sure.  I don't know when the idea came to me or why it came to me in the first place.  Honestly, I usually don't pay much attention.  It's like I'm in a fog much of the time.

Luckily, it was perfect weather for a foggy show, & you can find that show (& maybe even some weather) over at the Self Help Radio website.  It was two hours long, but for reasons that I don't understand, I've divided the show into two, & the music in each part (but not the chatter, nor the interviews) is listed below.

Interviews!  Yes!  I interviewed a meteorologist who likes fog, a cult leader whose organization worships fog, & my own spiritual advisor, who has help lift me out of my own personal fog.  That's in the show, too!  It's not just music.  Duh.

Geez, I can't see my hand in front of my face!

(part one)

"FOG" Richard Davies _Barbarians_
"Fog" Peppermint _Keep Your Chin Up There, Sailor_
"Fog" Kristin Hersh _Sky Motel_

"Foggy Mountain Breakdown" Flatt & Scruggs _1964-1969_
"Foggy River" Bill Monroe _Bluegrass (1959-1969)_
"Foggy Mountain Top" Hasil Adkins _The Wild Man_
"Footsteps In The Fog" Ceramic Hello _The Absence Of A Canary_

"Foggy Foggy Dew" Paddy Roberts _Songs For Gay Dogs_
"Bad Fog Of Loneliness" Neil Young _Archives, Vol. 1: 1963-1972_
"Shadows On A Foggy Day" Flying Machine _Flight Recorder_
"Fogbound" The Smoke _The Smoke_
"Foggy Bottom" Halo Benders _The Rebels Not In_

"Foggy Notion" Velvet Underground _Peel Slowly & See_

(part two)

"Fog Song" Antarctica Takes It! _The Penguin League_
"The Fog Of Trujillo" The Lucksmiths _Warmer Corners_
"Foggin' Up The Window" Robin Luke & Roberta Shore _Robin Luke: The Complete DOT Records Singles_

"Foggy Eyes" Beat Happening _Music To Climb The Apple Tree By_
"Foggy" BMX Bandits _Bee Stings_
"The Morning Fog" Kate Bush _Hounds Of Love_
"Feel Like Snakes Twisting Through The Fog" Liliput _Kleenex/Liliput_

"Fog Bound Pinhead" Thee Headcoats _The Kids Are All Square - This Is Hip!_
"Fog Over Frisco" Yo La Tengo _That Is Yo La Tengo_
"The Fog Rose High" Craft Spells _Idle Labor_
"A Foggy Day" Lyn Collins _Check Me Out If You Don't Know Me By Now_

"Foggy Tuesday" Saker _We Can Fly, Vol. 5_
"Kisses & Fog" Pines _All Is Fair In Love & Chickfactor: CF Mixtape 1_

Whither Fog?

(Lots of fog pictures like this one here.)

Before I moved to this part of the world, an acquaintance regaled me with stories about the epic fog that happened in the Appalachian Mountains, telling me that there were times that highway 64 was closed down because of so much fog.  It reminded me of a time when I was returning from Houston - this had to be in the 1990s - back to Austin, driving down highway 290, which was at the time basically a one-lane road, & which that night was covered in fog.  There was no light save the light from my control panel in the car, & the light from the headlights was basically stopped by a wall of white just a few feet away.  I couldn't see houses or businesses I was passing, I couldn't see streetlights.  I concentrated on the yellow lines, & I drove slowly - a car could easily come out of the fog right in front of me - or worse, someone could be driving faster than I was behind me, & ram me.  Texas drivers, like every other kind of American driver, are assholes.

Something was happening in my head, & I had turned off whatever I was listening to - or, since it was a cassette, I think it came to that point on the cassette where there was silence leading to end of the side - & suddenly it was just me, the car, the headlights, & the fog.  & I reached over & turned off the headlights.

To this day I have no idea what the fuck I was doing.  I was suddenly driving a car at around 45 miles per hour on a highway in the middle of Texas in a thick, thick fog, with no lights on.  I don't know how long I did this - probably just seconds - but I felt a pain behind my eyes & said, "Shit!"  I turned the lights back on, & changed the cassette - very carefully.

There's no explanation for what happened.  Certainly I had no death wish at the time, nor was I ever prone to daredevil thrills.  Later on I wondered if there were some kind of "fog sickness" that's just as insidious as seeing a mirage in the middle of a desert.  Or if I were just a dumbass.

Speaking of me being a dumbass, Self Help Radio is on from 4-6 today on 88.1 fm, wrfl dot fm online.  I'll have a dry ice machine in the studio!

No, no, I won't.

Preface To Fog: Cloudy Days

(This image found here.)

Actually, I'm a little freaked out by fog.  I've never even seen the movie The Fog.  I think it might really freak me out.

You probably already know this but there is a Facebook page for the show, & sometimes I link to these dumb blog posts, & yesterday's Facebook post was read by & reacted to by a lot of folks.  I'm sorry the announcement wasn't more interesting.  I'll try to really have something important to announce the next time I make a big deal about announcing something.

But here's an embarrassing story: This morning I was very, very tired, but I had to take the dogs on the daily walk.  I try to walk them every morning around eight, & usually there's no one around, but today I ran into a couple & their little girl in a park with their dog, whom I had met before, & I asked about her name.  The little girl told me, & I repeated it, & I said, "Yeah, she's really fucking cute."

The parents didn't respond but I immediately felt mortified, & my dogs were barking to play with the other dog so I skulked away without apologizing.  There isn't any excuse, it was an awful thing to do, & I have been angry at myself all day for it.  I'm not going to be neighborly anymore, & certainly not with only a couple hours sleep in me.

How I wished it had been foggy this morning!

Another Damn Announcement

(Clip art found here.)

You may recall that last year I made a couple or three "announcements" on this blog.  The first announcement was in anticipation of leaving Lexington, which was a plan that fell through, as announced a little over a month later.  God, that was humiliating.

Later on, I announced that I would be doing another radio show.  That show, called Cradle To Grave, has run for twenty-four episodes, with its twenty-fifth airing this Friday.  This announcement has nothing to do with the first announcement; instead, this "announcement" has to do with the latest announcement, as kind of a booked.  That announcement goes like this:

The twenty-fifth episode of Cradle To Grave will be the last one I do, at least for now.  If you haven't heard the show, well, you're not missing anything; but if you have, you may wonder how much work goes into it.  It turns out, a lot.  It's partially my fault.  For example, a show on KOOP radio in Austin called Graveside Service, which was an inspiration for Cradle To Grave, wisely devotes its time to musicians who have died during the week of the show, not just the day of the show.  I doubled-down, in my usual unthinking way, by focusing on both death anniversaries & birthdays.  I do a lot of research, & for artists who are not band leaders or big names, I have to spend time to discover if, for example, a notable jazz bassist has played on any records I have.  It is rather time-consuming.

& honestly I can't say I have better things to do, but I do have other projects (at least one of which I get paid for) that are taking up more & more of my time.  & I don't want to sacrifice the time it takes to do Self Help Radio, which is my baby, & a show I have the most fun doing.

Therefore.  Sigh.  To reiterate: this week's episode of Cradle To Grave will be the last one I do.  At least for now.  If in the future I find myself with the free time, I'll come to WLXU, hat in hand, on my knees, begging it please, might I have another go.  But for the present, I would like to walk away from the show doing it the way I designed it, the way I wanted to do it, & not be forced to change it just because I don't have the time for it.

As always, I hope you understand.