Self Help Radio 011824: 1988

(images all from Discogs)

Here it is, a selection of some of my favorite music from 1988. Actually it's a selection of some of my favorite music of all time. It was just in my opinion that good.

& yeah I left a lot out. That's why I return to the theme in six months. I might also need an extra show for hip hop from 1988. But maybe I'll do that elsewhere. I do have three radio shows!

Listen now or anything at selfhelpradio.net. Use the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access the file. I do a little reminiscing on the show but it's mainly music. What I play is below.

Happy birthday to me!

Self Help Radio 1988 Show

"In These Times" The Fall _The Frenz Experiment_

"Gigantic" Pixies _Surfer Rosa_

"I'm Your Man" Leonard Cohen _I'm Your Man_

"Hairdresser On Fire" Morrissey _Suedehead_

"Streets Of Your Town" The Go-Betweens _16 Lovers Lane_

"The Short Answer" Billy Bragg _Workers' Playtime_

"A Complete History Of Sexual Jealousy (Parts 17-24)" Momus _Tender Pervert_

"Crash" The Primitives _Lovely_

"Juno" Throwing Muses _House Tornado_

"Deus" Sugarcubes _Life's Too Good_

"You Don't Love Me Yet" Bongwater _You Don't Love Me Yet_

"Blind" Talking Heads _Naked_

"Deanna" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _Tender Prey_

"2541" Grant Hart _2541_

"Athol-Brose" Cocteau Twins _Blue Bell Knoll_

"Nobody's Twisting Your Arm" The Wedding Present _Nobody's Twisting Your Arm_

"The Girl With The Strawberry Hair" Talulah Gosh _Bringing Up Baby_

"What Is There To Smile About?" The Close Lobsters _What Is There To Smile About?_

"Molly's Lips" The Vaselines _Dying For It_

"Elephant Stone" The Stone Roses _Elephant Stone_

"Sidewalking" The Jesus & Mary Chain _Sidewalking_

"You Made Me Realise" My Bloody Valentine _You Made Me Realise EP_

"The Boy Who Sees Everything" The Sun & The Moon _Peace In Our Time_

"All That Money Wants" The Psychedelic Furs _All That Money Wants_

"Kurious Oranj" The Fall _I Am Kurious Oranj_

"We Have The Technology" Pere Ubu _The Tenement Year_

Whither 1988?

(image from here)

In October 2002, I started Self Help Radio. In January 2003, around the time of my birthday, I thought, "Why don't I, on my birthday week, play my favorite songs from the year I was born?" That year is 1968. The next year it made sense to play music from 1969. & so on. It's like twenty years later & guess what? I'm at the year 1988.

That was when I was twenty years old. When I started this - would you call it a series? - I played music from a time when I wasn't buying the music yet - except I did buy the White Album when I was eight months old because I rolled that way. In 1988 - well, almost all of the music you'll hear today is music I was listening to back then. Fucking gobbling it up. It was how I spent my time. & how I coped with the world.

Braving icy Portland to get the (checking the internet) three point three miles to the station today from noon to 2pm on 90.3+98.3fm & online at freeform portland dot org. An impossible task, to pick my favorites from an important year for me. So of course I'll revisit the year in a few months. But for now - today! It's 1988!

Preface To 1988: My Twentieth Year On Earth

What a sleeping beauty I was. Good lord. My sister Pat probably took that picture. Was I not wearing socks?

There are so many things to say about my twentieth year that this could get long. It wasn't a happy year & what happened that year meant I was going to be quite unhappy for many years to come.

But first. I had this experience in a kind of - what would you call it - it was a little box that was all mirrors. It feels like it was the first time I had ever really seen myself. & I was very fat & very ugly. So, I decided to do something about it. I basically starved myself for a few months. & I lost a great deal of weight. It was unusual because no one around me noticed or said a thing - but one of my roommates had a friend over & she was astonished - she hadn't seen me in a while - & that's when I knew I had lost weight.

Over the years I'd gain it back but for the time being, I was a thinner - though not thin - person. & that probably helped me when I fell in love. The story is kinda dumb. I had a friend in an English class. I decided to get her a cake for her birthday. I went over to her house with one of my roommates. & I fell in love with my English class friend's roommate.

It's with some irony that I say that, on the drive home, I told my roommate that I think I was falling in love. He told me he didn't find the roommate the slightest bit attractive - which was fine by me because it me who was in love, not him. Why this is ironic will have to wait for my 1991 show.

Now, this fellow was someone I called my "best friend" but as I've mentioned before in previous installments he really wasn't a friend. He didn't like me much, he was openly contemptuous of me actually, but I had grown up with family members treating me the same way so I didn't really notice. He had dropped out of college & moved back to Dallas, but when he wanted to return to Austin, I offered to let him stay in my walk-in closet. Later, when he & my other roommate got an apartment, I gave the rooms to them & I put sheets up in the living room & slept there. Why not get a three-bedroom apartment? My "best friend" couldn't afford it. Later that year, when I was consumed with schoolwork & with courting the girl I was in love with, he announced he was moving out. As did my other roommate. & they left me to deal with breaking the lease & all the other issues. I wish I could tell you that I was done with him at that point but nope! He would continue to be in my life & in fact he would play a pivotal role in utterly destroying it in just a few years but I would stay his friend doing nice things for him for years & years & years.

The other person who would destroy my life was the woman with whom I fell in love. She did not love me then, or ever really, although we'd start a relationship the next year. It's almost as though I willed the relationship into being, & there was enough codependence that she was dragged along, but she made it very clear from the beginning that she was never really that into me. Still, it happened. & looking back so many years I really, really wish it hadn't. I wish she had rejected me utterly.

Last night as I thought about writing all this I had so many stories that I thought this would be a novella. But the truth is, the stories are all the same, all sad. That drooling dope up there was mostly friendless & if he had met a friend who was supportive or kind, not jealous & resentful, he would have thought the person a fool. It just wasn't really how I'd been taught or shown to see the world.

But this is a nice memory. I fell in love with one of my teachers. This is a thing about me - I love people who are passionate. The teacher taught a course I absolutely hated - the English novel in the 18th century - I can't believe I made it through books like Pamela or Moll Flanders. & it was hard to do that, as I was spending all my time with this woman. But gosh that teacher loved her subject & I would just sit in her class with little hearts bubbling above my head as she lectured. She was great.

At the end of the semester I went to her & told her I was utterly unprepared for her final because my head & heart were being consumed by this courtship & she told me she would not give me an incomplete but she would let me come in to take the test later. Which I did, alone in a classroom. & I think I even got an A!

Years later, when I worked at UT, in a department where we helped professors in the College Of Liberal Arts with instructional technology, she called me & asked me about the services. She said my full name but she didn't seem to remember me. Which kinda broke my heart at the time. But I didn't say a thing.

Anyway, who cares about me, the music of 1988 was extraordinary & there's too much for just one show. I'll talk a little bit more about that tomorrow.

The Age Of Twenty

There are not a lot of flattering pictures of me from 1988. The one above - probably taken in the autumn of 1988 - is as close as one might get. It's with my nephew Josh, taken in my sister Pat's home, the circumstances long forgotten. Though I was in my sister's house a lot.

In 1988, I ended my second year of college & I began my third. In the middle - in the summer of 1988 - I lived in Garland, mainly at my sister Pat's house, & I had refused to get a job. I was a bum for three months, & there was a reason for it.

At the end of my second year of college, I had taken two years of German, & I was actually quite proficient in the language. My mother was German, & I had family in Germany, & I wrote them (my mother's brother) to ask if I could spend the summer there. I really wanted to immerse myself in German & thought being there, speaking German, having experiences, would be an amazing experience.

Two things stood in my way. The first was my mother. I found out pretty quickly that my mother was opposed to that idea of me visiting her family without her. This is complicated but it came down to the fact that my mother had told her relatives in Germany many things about her life in the United States which she was hesitant for them to learn that she had exaggerated or outright lied about - without her being there to spin it. She simply did not trust me to represent her in a way that she herself had described to her German family. She did not want me to visit, & told them so.

The second was money. My family in Germany did not have ready money to send to me to get me to Germany. If I had had the money - & you know, I could've easily gotten a credit card! - they would have welcomed me with open arms. But as such, my mother's opposition to visiting kept me from going there.

When I think about it, I kinda counted on spending the summer in Germany. When it didn't happen, I became spiteful. I decided I wouldn't work or do anything like that. I lived at my sister Pat's house & slept all day & woke up at night & wandered around Garland, Texas, listening to music - much of the music that I will play on this week's show - & being a malcontent. I spent a lot of time with my friend Leah, who was a high school girl who had dated my little brother.  But mostly I was up at night thinking I was a poet looking for inspiration. I wrote a lot of terrible poetry.

When I finally got my scholarship money for the fall semester, I used it to buy a bus ticket to visit the girl I had been in love with for two years. She had moved a couple years before from Garland to Memphis & I don't think I hoped that we might rekindle anything - she had never really felt anything for me - but I visited anyway. Dopey hope springs eternal. It's funny, I spent most of the time with her little brother, who was very interested in the music I liked. But I remember one profound moment:

When I saw her again, for the first time, in awhile, I knew I was no longer in love with her. Not that I didn't think she was pretty or attractive, or that I wasn't attracted to her - I wasn't in love with her. This was a distinction that was important to me. Had she wanted to kiss me (she didn't), I might have kissed her. I hadn't had sex yet, but had she wanted to do that, fuck yeah I'd give it a try. But the feelings that I associated with being in love - they were no longer there. As I imposed on her family for a week, I was keenly aware that I did not want to be there.

Of course there were pictures & in one, I put lipstick on & kissed her on the cheek. Here is that picture:

There are two things to mention about that visit. One is that, for whatever reason, I chose not to bring deodorant for myself. I assumed they'd have it. They did not. I tried to slip away to buy some but someone always was around & I felt too self-conscious. Isn't that kinda fucked up? I smelled awful & sweaty but did not have the courage to say hey! I am not this smelly. I am going to buy some roll-on if that's okay.

Second, I really did connect with the love interest's little brother. We corresponded for some time after that. His experience diverged from mine - he was attractive & had far greater success with women than I did & he also began to experiment with drugs, notably LSD, which I was not curious about - so we lost touch. This dear man, with whom I wish I could have stayed in touch, died in 2021. So the memories of spending time with him - even more than with his sister, the object of my affections - seem in retrospect more powerful, important, felt. I wish we had been closer. I fear I had dismissed him because he was somewhat younger than me.

After that, I returned to Austin for my third year of college, & my life would change a lot.

Busy Snow Day

It's been cold & snowy in Portland for days now. My schedule is kinda out of whack - I haven't taken the dogs on a proper walk in what seems like forever. & I haven't been somewhere to do a radio show since - well, since Thursday. But it feels like many weeks ago.

What I have done however is made three (3) radio shows for a total of six hours of radio - but it's not all that original - my Dickenbock Report on XRAY yesterday used a previous Self Help Radio episode about kites, & I re-did last week's Self Help Radio for KBOO today. & yesterday I put together Corporate Standardized Programming for tonight. & this afternoon I put together (but did not record airbreaks for) a sub show on KBOO on Friday.

Meanwhile, Freeform Portland is without power - tomorrow we're supposed to get frozen rain! We've been very fortunate to have been spared a lack of electricity. But it's quite cold. Too cold to take all the dogs on a walk - the wife carried Yoko because she's so small & shivery. She seemed okay with that.

Holy smokes I just realized that if I am able to do Self Help Radio this week I'll have done radio five out of seven days this past week! There really should be a law against that.

This is my birthday week so get ready for mostly sad stories about my twentieth year on this planet. It's funny, the music was incredible - but so much of my future unhappiness was set in motion in 1988.

Self Help Radio 011124: Hitchhiking

"One of the more tiring aspects of hitchhiking is a need to be sociable & make conversation with whoever is driving you. It would be considered poor form to accept a ride, hop into the passenger seat & then simply to crash out until you reached your destination. How I longed to do just that, but instead I chatted merrily away, energy ebbing from me with each sentence." Tony Hawks, Round Ireland With A Fridge

Self Help Radio shows don't usually have an inscription-like quote to start the show, but as I was reading about hitchhiking this week, I thought about books that feature hitchhiking & the one from which I quote above was recommended highly. Alas, I did not get a copy before the show. Or else maybe I'd have just read from the book all show long!

Instead, like most Self Help Radio shows, there were lots of songs about the theme & some interviews, too. This time around with lots of hitchhikers. & there's really not much else to say about that, is there. So why don't we just get to the part where I tell you where the show is & also put the playlist up?

You can listen to the show now & anytime & anywhere really too if you're hitchhiking at the show's website, Self Help Radio dot net. Like the ride you're thumbin', the show is free, but you will need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen. But feel free to download it & take it anywhere. What happened on the show is listed below.

Be safe out there!

Self Help Radio Hitchhiking Show

"Hitch Hike" The Tracey Twins _Flip Flop_

"Thumbin' Johnny Brown" Burl Ives _It's Just My Funny Way Of Laughin'_

"Hitch Hike" Marvin Gaye _The Complete Motown Singles | Vol. 2: 1962_

introduction & definitions

"Hitchhike Back To Georgia" Buddy Knox & The Rhythm Orchids _Liberty Takes_

"Hitch Hikin'" Dick Damron _More Than Countryfied_

"Hitchhiking" George Carlin _The Little David Years 1971-1977_

"Hitch-Hiker" Roger Miller _Roger Miller_

"Hitchin' & Hikin'" Johnny Sea _Live At The Bitter End_

interview with hitchhiker Robyn Wilson

"Thumbin' A Ride" Jackie Lomax _Is This What You Want?_

"Hitching A Ride" Don Covay & The Jefferson Lemon Blues Band _Different Strokes For Different Folks_

"Hitchhiking" Steven Wright _I Have A Pony_

"Hitch Hiking To Heartbreak" Bobo Mr. Soul _I Get My Groove: Crossover Soul From The Deep South_

"Ridin' Thumb" King Curtis _Everybody's Talkin'_

interview with hitchhiker Nest West

"Hitch-Hike" Liliput _1977 1983_

"The Hitchhikers' Song" Joan Baez _Blessed Are..._

"Hitchhiker" Neil Young _Hitchhiker_

"Ridin' My Thumb To Mexico" Johnny Rodriguez _All I Ever Meant To Do Was Sing_

interview with hitchhiker Rich Ward

"Hitchin' A." The Pastels _Up For A Bit With The Pastels_

"Hitchhiker" Holly Vincent & Johnette Napolitano _Vowel Movement_

"The Hitch Hiker" Wade Denning _Famous Ghost Stories With Scary Sounds_

"Hitchhiking" Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds _Dracula Boots_

"Hitchhike Love" A Giant Dog _Pile_

interview with hitchhiker Norman Waller

"Hitch-Hikin" The Romeos _The Tiger's Wide Awake_

"The People Band Wagon (Hitch-Hike)" Dave Collins _Larry Ethnic Meets The Wailers With Various Artists_

"Hitchhike" Laurel Aitken & The Pressure Tenants _The Legendary Godfather Of Ska, Vol. 5: Rudi Got Married_

"African Hitchiker" Lee "Scratch" Perry _From The Secret Laboratory_

conclusion & goodbye

"The Last Hitchhiker" The Big However _Las Vegas Amusements_

"Thumb A Ride" Melbourne Cans _Moonlight Malaise_

Whither Hitchhiking?

(image from here)

There's a quote on the Wikipedia page about hitchhiking from someone named Julian Portis about the supposed decline of hitchhiking after the 1970s. It's this:

The real danger of hitchhiking has most likely remained relatively constant, but the general perception of this danger has increased. ... [O]ur national tolerance for danger has gone down: things that we previously saw as reasonably safe suddenly appeared imminently threatening. This trend is not just isolated to the world of hitchhiking; it has become a pernicious artifact throughout the American cultural conscience.

Certainly if my mother had ever known that I had hitchhiked, it would've given her tremendous anxiety. To be fair, most everything gave my mother tremendous anxiety, but this would've been for her egregious. As I mentioned yesterday, I didn't hitchhike myself, but did pick up hitchhikers for a time, & never felt I was ever in danger. Books & songs had made the act of hitchhiking somewhat romantic for me - I envied the life of someone like Laurie Lee whose As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning I read too late to influence me to have similar adventures; I tried to read On The Road but found it too desperate to convince me it was great to enjoy it. My bleeding heart did empathize with those walking in the hot Texas sun & the moments I got to take one fellow from just outside Elgin to just outside Brenham were satisfying to me.

What does this have to do with why this week's Self Help Radio is about hitchhiking? I think sometime last year I saw a film, or a television show, that featured hitchhiking, & it caused my brain to think about the things I wrote about here today & yesterday. A moment of thought & reflection often translates into a radio show. & that's what happened here. & there are lots of songs about hitchhiking.

Which you can hear this afternoon noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland. The show is on 90.3+98.3fm in town & online at freeform portland dot org. In addition to the songs, I talk to four hitchhikers too!

Preface To Hitchhiking: Never Hitchhiked

(image from here)

The sign above is (was?) (probably still is) in Arizona, but I could swear there are similar signs on I-45 in Texas. Lots of prisons down that corridor. One time I was driving to Austin with a friend's father & he picked up a guy just outside a sign like the one above. The father didn't ask me if I were okay with it, he just stopped & picked him up. I had told the friend's father that we were going the wrong direction, that Austin was down I-35 not I-45, but he chose to ignore me & only headed toward I-35 when the hitchhiker mentioned he needed to go that way. The hitchhiker lit a joint in the backseat & ignored us most of the way.

As for me, I've never had the occasion to hitchhike. Probably I'd be too fearful to do so. One time I was sitting at a bus stop reading a letter from a friend & a woman in a volkswagen stopped & asked if I wanted a ride. She said, "You seemed so happy reading that letter." I don't think she was hitting on me. I tried to become friends with her but we otherwise had nothing in common.

When I used to have to rent cars to get from one place to another, & I was alone, I would sometimes pick up hitch hikers. The last two or three had been in the sun for quite a while so were very, very smelly. They were also all Latino with a very little English. They were mainly looking to get a few miles down the road. I was happy to oblige.

Once I began dating the woman who became my wife, I didn't feel comfortable picking up hitchhikers since she didn't. I did one time ask her if we could pick up a hitchhiker & she looked at me like I was mentally unfit to be her partner. But we also tended to travel with dogs in the backseat.

It's been years - really, not since the last century - that I picked up a hitchhiker. So why do a radio show about hitchhikers? Ask me tomorrow.

Oh Deer

Bad weather's coming. Or it's already here.

Winter storm: Tornadoes, flooding rain threaten east coast, says an ABC News headline.

Currently those living in higher elevations in the Portland area have a Winter Weather Advisory in effect. & the predictions are that it will snow on Friday.

My wife does not like me driving on icy roads so I'll probably have to record the Dickenbock Report this week. That's a bummer. It does look like I'll be able to do Self Help Radio live at the FFP studios. But boy it's going to get cold.

When the weather is weird I think about phone calls to my mom. No matter how far away I lived - nearly nine hundred miles away in Kentucky, or the two thousand miles away I live now from where she was, she'd always assume the weather would be the same - or mostly the same.

My mother was German. I wonder if she did the same with German weather. Or what if I had moved to Australia?

As I listen to songs about hitchhiking tonight, I am nervously watching the weather. Recording a show is a pain. It would be best if I could do it live.

Picture of the deer in someone's yard from long ago in Lexington, Kentucky. It looks like it might have once been animatronic, doesn't it? So weird.

Living Room Set

Over the course of maybe eight years I've been taking random pictures on dogwalks, drives, etc.
The phrase "living room set" happened in my head at some point.
Then I discovered I've taken four pictures (from 2015-2018) called "Living Room Set."
Here they are.

It seems to me I've written a bleak short story.

Self Help Radio 010424: Dandelions

The first Self Help Radio of 2024 was a bit flowery. Just one flower, actually. The dandelion.

Oh did you not think there'd be enough dandelion songs for me to play? Or that there weren't enough dandelion-related subjects for me to discuss with guests? Have never heard this show before?

Lots of dandelion tunes now available on the show on the Self Help Radio website. Please use the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access. You get to download it & stuff! Everything that happened on the show is below.

Now make a wish!

Self Help Radio Dandelion Show

"Dandelion" The Rolling Stones _Singles Collection - The London Years_

"Dandelion" The Seedy Seeds _Count The Days_

"Ode To A Dandelion" Friend & Lover _Reach Out Of The Darkness_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"Dandelion" Eddi Reader _Love Is The Way_

"Dandelion Seeds" July _July_

"Whispering Dandelions" Ingrid Chavez _May, 19, 1992_

"Dandelion Girl" Damien Youth _Sunfield_

"Dandelion" Kristin Hersh _Clear Pond Road_

interview with nutritionist Ralph Steadman

"Dandelion" Jesse Belvin & The Chargers _So Fine_

"Dandelions/Liminal" Emmy The Great _April_

"Dandelion" Boards Of Canada _Geogaddi_

"Dandelion" Pity Sex _White Hot Moon_

"Dandelions" Daughn Gibson _All Hell_

interview with wishologist Reed Sellers

"Dandelions In My Flowerbed" Tamar Berk _Start At The End_

"Dandelions" Marc Vietor _Thor Hanson: The Triumph Of Seeds_

"Dandelion Seed" The Primitives _Spin-O-Rama_

"Dandelion Seed" Jens Lekman _Life Will See You Now_

interview with influencer Rita Sawyer

"Dandelion" The Greeting Committee _Dandelion_

"Dandelion" Daughter _Stereo Mind Game_

"Dandelions" Ali Siddiq _Damaged Goods_

"Dandelions" Nayiem _Touching Bass Presents: Soon Come_

interview with vintner Rob Slater

"My Old Kentucky Home (Turpentine & Dandelion Wine)" Johnny Cash _John R. Cash_

"Dandelion Wine" Rusalnaia _Rusalnaia_

"Dandelion Wine" Gregory Alan Isakov _This Empty Northern Hemisphere_

"Dandelion Wine" D+ _Dandelion Seeds_

"Dandelion Wine" The Hollies _The Hollies At Abbey Road 1966-1970_

conclusion & goodbye

"Dandelions" Kurt Vile _Speed, Sound, Lonely KV_

"Dandelion" Florist _Florist_

Whither Dandelions?

One thing I know is true: you don't need a reason to do anything if it involved flowers. You don't need a reason to give someone flowers, you don't need a reason to pick a flower for yourself, & you don't need a reason to make a radio show about flowers. Flowers are nice.

Although that time in college when you met the person who hung dead flowers upside down on her wall - that was a bit concerning. You tried to convince yourself it was cool but even though you really wanted to kiss her you had the sense you might be in a haunted house. Or apartment. As the case may be.

For some reason she never had dried dandelions. What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah. I don't have to give you a reason for a radio show about dandelions. They're awesome. They deserve a radio show. & so they shall have one.

Today! Thursday! January 4! From noon to 2pm. On 90.3+98.3fm in Portland & online at Freeform Portland dot org. A show about dandelions with interviews, songs, & the regular nonsense. But it's the first Self Help Radio of the year!

Preface To Dandelions: Wishes

Though I have taken many more pictures of flowers in Portland than anywhere else - people here love their gardens - I snapped that little feller up there was in Lexington, Kentucky.

As a child, I wanted so badly to believe in things like magic, luck, & wishes, that I thought - my mother probably told me - that a single dandelion alone like that had more potency than one plucked from a plentiful field.

One thing that I knew was that you had to scatter all the seeds - like you had to blow out all the candles on the cake to get your birthday wish. You didn't get a second chance. & what a waste when I didn't fill my lungs properly! It was almost a physical pain to think I'd lost a wish.

& the wishes! I worried about the quality of my wishes! Why wish for a specific toy when you might wish for a toy store? Why wish for a puppy when you could wish for all the puppies? Perhaps my greed is why my wishes never came true. Or maybe wishes aren't real.

No, that's nonsensical. I just needed more specifics about how wishes work. & of course I will need more dandelions.

Welcome 2024

It's been a bit damp so far. But I spend a lot of time making radio shows, so I stay dry.

Hope for the best. Know the worst is yet to come.

The Yearly Tally

It's time for me to reveal to anyone who cares (& it's not that many people) how many radio shows I made in 2023. It is something of a complicated number, but here goes:

57 episodes of Self Help Radio

This includes five (5) episodes on XRAY that were essentially repeats on a different station.

After a while I started to feel weird about that. So I stopped doing it.

51 episodes of The Dickenbock Report

38 episodes of Corporate Standardized Programming

Nine (9) sub episodes on XRAY, KBOO, & Freeform Portland.

That number adds up to 155! Which is really a record for me. I don't think I've ever done that many radio shows in one year.

While I might be wrong, I seem to have explored - in all three shows - 76 new themes. More often than now, Corporate Standardized Programming is a freeform show. But both The Dickenbock Report & Self Help Radio are theme-based. & I don't really mind revisiting old themes for the Dickenbock Report. & Self Help Radio has themes - like Indiepop A To Z - which I revisit regularly.

But that's it - 155 radio shows in 2023. If my math is right.

Currently I have three radio shows so I might make this number once again this year. (52 weeks times three.) But who knows?

Right now I'm just going to feel a little exhausted by the count.

Self Help Radio 122823: Indiepop A To Z # 73

(most images found at Discogs)

It was the last Self Help Radio of 2023. It was the seventy-third installment of the Indiepop A To Z series. The letter R as complete as I could get it, I moved into the letter S. Where I'll probably be for a while.

You can listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website. You will need a username (SHR) & password (selfhelp) to listen. But it can be downloaded! There are many other episodes of the series & while I keep promising to upload them all, you can find out which ones are available (it's episode # 14 on) by just going down the list here. I will try to get to the rest at some point.

Everything I played is listed below. Thanks for listening if you listened to Self Help Radio this year. More of the same next year!

Self Help Radio Indiepop A To Z # 73

"Sunday" Rote Kapelle _These Animals Are Dangeroos_

"Welt Rollt Vorbei" Röttger/Goldstein _Eine Kleine Stadtmusik_

"More Than This" Roxy Music _Avalon_

"I Can't Remember" Royal Carter Show _Royal Carter Show_

"Clean" The Royal Landscaping Society _Means Of Production_

"Sun Shines Down On You" Rubber Orange _Rubber Orange E.P._

"Because..." Ruby Blue _Because..._ 

"Girl Store" Ruby Pins _Ruby Pins_

"Arachnidphile" Ruck Rover _Good People's Highway_

"One In A Million" Nick Rudd _One In A Million_

"Flowers" The Ruling Class _Tour De Force_

"That's What You Say" Rumblefish _1234 - The Early Singles (1986-1989)_

"Your Big Brown Eyes & My Big Broke Heart" The Russian Futurists _The Method Of Modern Love_

"I Would Have Saved You" The Ruth Ellis Swing Band _Something's Burning In Paradise_

"Nowhere Town" Sabrinas _Jigsaw_

"The Girl Who Stole The Eiffel Tower" Die Sache _The Girl Who Stole The Eiffel Tower_

"Love Bomb" The Sacred Hearts _Love Bomb EP_

"Such A Waste" Sad Day For Puppets _Pale Silver & Shiny Gold_

"Find Me The Pulse Of The Universe" Laetitia Sadier _Silencio_

"Travel In Time" Safe Home _Travel In Time EP_

"If I Should Die" Safe Houses _If I Should Die_

"Silence Is The Safest Thing" Sage _Love Song_

"Say What You Feel" Said Liquidator _La-Di-Da... So Far..._

"Ate The Most" The Sainsburys _My Favorite Colour_

"Only Love Can Break Your Heart" Saint Etienne _Foxbase Alpha_

"Moments Are Moments" The Saint Valentine State _Between Two Waves: The Second Wave_

"Look Right" Salako _Musicality_

"Seven Steps Down" Salem 66 _Strum & Thrum: The American Jangle Underground (1983-1987)_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 73?

(A twee kitty named Bluto)

In February of 2003, during the first year of Self Help Radio, I thought of an occasional series of radio shows involving the genre of indiepop. I had been listening to it for years - from the C-86 movement on - but hadn't known it was a thing until it was named as such by the show Ear Candy on KOOP radio. Being not a little OCD, it seemed a nice way to organize a show. That year, my show being an hour at the time, I did three episodes of the series.

A couple of years later, when I subbed the actual Ear Candy show, I resurrected the idea (& started over). Sometimes on Self Help Radio, sometimes on Ear Candy, I made fourteen episodes through 2008, when I left KOOP. I got to the letter C. I remember doing the show one time with one of the Jennifers who hosted Ear Candy, maybe it was the third or fourth show, & she was already tired of it. "Will this never end?" she asked on the air.

The series continued as I moved across the country & from radio station to radio station. In 2011 I decided to return to it every four months - the last shows of April, August, & December. You can see links to almost all seventy-two (72) episodes on the show's website. The first episode is strangely missing but I found the cassette recording of the show this past summer, dated November 4, 2004. I need to digitize the show & put the playlist on my website. I haven't done that yet.

It is now over twenty years since I started the series. Today I'll broadcast the 73rd installment. It will end the letter R & start the letter S. The aforementioned Jennifer recently told me that she doesn't listen to much indiepop anymore. I've heard this from some people. Like they're vaguely embarrassed about it. I am not. I wish there were much, much more.

There'll be two hours of it on the radio today. Noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland, which is at 90.3+98.3 fm here in town & online everywhere at freeform portland dot org. My last Self Help Radio of 2023! I hope you'll tune in.

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 73: Goodbye Letter R

(taken from this YouTube clip)

At this point I'm going to stop drawing attention to how weird & OCD it is to spend over seventy episodes on a musical subgenre playing artists in alphabetical order. Or maybe I just did which means I won't. I don't know!

What I do know is I'll finish the letter R on this week's show. I started the letter R on the 69th episode of Self Help Radio, which aired in August 2022. Those shows - on KBOO - were three hours long so I could cover a lot of ground. That has changed since I'm back at Freeform Portland. So I suspect I'll be in the letter S for a little while.

A little while! I'll probably die before I finish it! Look how many bands are on the S list at twee dot net! I will be adding to that!

This week's show is, incidentally, my last Self Help Radio of 2023. I did in fact do 52 episodes of Self Help Radio this year - although I'll save that tally for later.

Two Years Ago On This Day It Snowed

Proof.

The wife said, "People are telling me it's been very unusually warm here this year & that we should have had snow by now."

Personally I don't know if I've lived here long enough to know what is usual or not. Especially when three of the years I've been here I've been dealing with covid.

Snow's very pretty in pictures. It's sometimes not much fun to walk dogs in. & it sometimes makes it hard to get to radio stations to do shows. So it's a mixed blessing to be sure.

Christmas

Boy, Christmas used to be exciting for me. Not for any of the religious stuff - that was never emphasized in our home & I was never forced to go to church or anything like that - it was the presents. I wanted presents. Lots & lots of presents. What an amazing thing! It's dark out & you get lots of presents?

That's probably why I kept liking Christmas tunes for as long as I did: the memories of those magical moments when you'd mention something you wanted & improbably a fellow called Santa brought it to you.

But you get older. For much of my young adulthood I wasn't in a relationship. I had enough money to buy the things I wanted. My large family - I have six siblings - would draw names & inevitably I would stress about what to get them & they - when they drew my name - for some reason would almost never buy me what I wanted but something adjacent (usually cheaper). I got several different versions of books I already owned as well as a couple of box sets I already had. & they never really wanted what they asked me to get them - they had spouses to get them the expensive stuff.

When I was in a relationship, it was never with someone who prized such things. I don't think I would've been good at it anyway. Eventually I would just go home for Christmas - my mother wanted me there - but not give or get gifts. & then, having moved out-of-state, I just stopped going home.

When I would do my Christmas shows, I would say "the only thing I do to celebrate Christmas is make these shows." Over time I began to feel quite hypocritical. The songs about both the materialism & the religiosity reflected no values of mine. Even the "peace on Earth" parts seemed tied to a belief system I didn't have.

Finally, upon reflection, I couldn't in good conscience play Christmas music anymore. It didn't hurt that in the recent past I've known some people - remarkably dumb & dishonest folks - who called themselves "Christians" & thought it amusing that I, a non-believer, still glorified their world view in this way. I don't care what people believe, but I do care that I myself don't misrepresent what I believe.

Without the religion or the gifts, there was no more reason to have anything to do with Christmas. The wife & I hung out today, walked the dogs, made dinner together, in all respects an average Monday. I saw the lights on people's houses, the trees in the front windows, & all I could think was, wow, it has been a long time since I've cared about any of that.

So on my KBOO show tonight, no Christmas music. Anyway, by that time, Christmas will be over.