Self Help Radio 081723: Charm

(original image here)

Can a radio show be charming? Of course! Can Self Help Radio be charming? Not on your life! But can Self Help Radio do a radio show about charm? It not only can - it did!

This week's show had oodles of charm songs as well as charming interviews with charming folk & our charming resident cinephile Chuck even talked in-between the songs about movies featuring a kind of charming - hypnotism! We find it all very charming & hope you're charmed by it too.

Listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website. Remember the username (SHR) & password (selfhelp)! Everything that happened on the show is listed below - except Chuck's movie recommendations - they happened in-between the songs.

Also, we didn't talk about the show Charmed. I'm sorry. Or am I?

Self Help Radio Charm Show

"Good Luck Charm" The Marvelettes _The Tamla Sound Of The Marvelettes_

"Hidden Charms" Howlin' Wolf _The Howlin' Wolf Anthology_

"Charms Of The Arms Of Love" Alice Clark _Alice Clark_

introduction & definitions

"Prince Charming" Adam & The Ants _Prince Charming_

"Pedigree Charm" Lora Logic _Pedigree Charm_

"This Charming Man" The Smiths _Hatful Of Hollow_

"Dangerous Charms" The Delmonas _Dangerous Charms_

interview with Sal Arp, who's suing the makers of Lucky Charms

"Lucky Charms" The Moldy Peaches _The Moldy Peaches_

"Lucky Charm" Helium _Ends With And_

"Lucky Charm" The Apples In Stereo _Fun Trick Noisemaker_

"My Lucky Charm" The Postmarks _Memoirs At The End Of The World_

interview with charm school dropout Seth Akins

"Charm School" Elvis Costello _Punch The Clock_

"Charm School" Would-Be-Goods _Spring Fever_

"Charm School For Damaged Boys" Shilpa Ray _Portrait Of A Lady_

"Charm" Shoulders _Trashman Shoes_

interview with charm school headmistress Sandy Astor

"The Charm Song" Momus _Hypnoprism_

"How Charming" Dollys _Low Year_

"Charmless Man" Blur _The Great Escape_

"Those Charming Men" Club 8 _Nouvelle_

interview with snake charmer Samuel Atwell

"Snake Charmer" The Frowning Clouds _Listen Closelier_

"Charmer & The Snake" The Velveteers _Nightmare Daydream_

"Your Charms" Cinerama _Cinerama Holiday_

"Charms Around Your Wrist" The Softies _It's Love_

conclusion & goodbye

"Charms & The Girl" The Dentists _Powdered Lobster Fiasco_

"Charm Bracelet" All Girl Summer Fun Band _Summer Of '98_

"Use Your Charms" The Magick Heads _Transvection_

"Clever, Charming" The Service Economy _Hey! Where'd The Summer Go?_

Whither Charm?

(I scanned this ages ago from an old comic book.)

Prince Charming told me his favorite song was "This Charming Man." When introduced to someone, he would say, "Charmed, I'm sure." He had tested out of charm school. Was his favorite cereal Lucky Charms? Oh I didn't ask.

Somewhere along the way I began to be charmed by lots of songs about charm, almost certainly beginning with the Smiths song, which I listened to a lot after Andy Rourke's death. It was just a matter of accumulating a lot of charm songs, like the charms above for jewelry, until I felt the moment was charmed enough to have a show about charm. & that moment is today!

Listen from noon to 2pm Portland time to Self Help Radio on Freeform Portland. It's on the air in town at 90.3+98.3 fm. & we're online everywhere at freeform portland dot org. You'll hear lots of music & lots of conversations - including one with a charm school dropout & one with a snake charmer!

Do tune in - I find you so charming!

Preface To Charm: Oodles Of Charm

From Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast Of Champions:

The show tomorrow is about charm, you see. I don't have oodles of charm, alas.

What The Hell Update For Corporate Standardized Programming Too

The other other show I do is called Corporate Standardized Programming & it airs on KBOO from midnight to 3am on Tuesday mornings/Monday nights. Because of an issue with my show change needing to be approved by a committee, the show is still called Self Help Radio on the website. But it's very much not Self Help Radio.

While looking at the site last night, I noticed that the show isn't being recorded & archived on the website. I don't know why that is. But since I record the show at home, I uploaded recent episodes (tho not last night's yet). In case you've been missing the show - & you didn't know you can listen to it at the Self Help Radio website.

It's a show I enjoy doing because it's focused on music. I don't talk much. & I can do things like pay tribute to artists who have recently passed. I also like to play long songs. Long songs in the middle of the night.

To sum up: Corporate Standardized Programming hasn't moved, but the web page on the KBOO website is mostly updated. That's all. That's my dumb update for this show.

Update For The Dickenbock Report

There is a program I do on XRAY called the Dickenbock Report. Like Self Help Radio, I've done this show on three stations in Portland - it started on KBOO, went to Freeform Portland, & is now on XRAY. It's very much like Self Help Radio in that it is theme-based, except it's done as though it's a newscast/news magazine. Mostly it's the same though.

The show has recently aired very early in the morning, 5-7am on Saturdays. It started in April & it soon became apparent that it was going to be a lot - meaning that I would have to go to sleep early on Fridays & wake early on Saturdays. I am not good at going to sleep early - I'm not really very good at going to sleep, to be honest. So as the months wore on, I was sleeping less & less. & waking earlier to work on the show.

Realizing I might not be able to keep up this pace, I suggested that the show might move when the new cycle started in August to a different time slot. & I said I would be glad to lose an hour - I am already doing two other shows, you know. & this has come to pass.

Starting next week, on Sunday August 20, the Dickenbock Report airs at 9am. Just for an hour. It should be fine. I might could do odder themes - I am very happy with last week's show about sewing machines, for example.

& so - the Dickenbock Report is on Sundays now on XRAY FM at 9am. Just thought you should know.

Self Help Radio 081023: Quicksand

(original image here)

We survived! The entire show fell into quicksand & we thought we would be completely submerged but instead we sort of floated there until we were rescued by the following program! No more dangerous themes for us!

Oh I know, we did say on the program that quicksand wasn't deadly - you can't drown in it, though if you're trapped, you may die of exposure or thirst or some animal that will see you as easy prey. But knowing that doesn't help when you're panicking in quicksand!

Still lots of things happened while we were stuck there - it felt like days but it was just two hours - we had lots of songs about quicksand & we talked to folks & it was a pleasant way to pass the time even if we were sure we were going to drown.

Listen to the peril we experienced at the Self Help Radio website. Remember you'll need a username & password, that's SHR & selfhelp. Every song that was played & all the people we talked to are mentioned below.

Be careful out there!

Self Help Radio Quicksand Show

"Quicksand" Guitar Slim _You're Gonna Miss Me: The Complete Singles Collection As & Bs 1951-1958_

"Quicksand" Maymie Watts _Quicksand: The Groove Records Story 1954-1956_

"Quicksand" Hank Thompson _Hank Thompson & His Brazos Valley Boys_

introduction & definitions

"Quicksand Love" Macy Skipper _Good Rockin' Tonight: Red Hot Rockabilly_

"Quicksand" Don Schroeder _Teen Town U.S.A. Volume 10_

"Quicksand" Kell Osborne _The Northern Soul Of L.A. Volume 2_

"Quicksand (Second Pressing - Alternate Mix)" Martha & The Vandellas _The Complete Motown Singles 1963_

"Love's Like Quicksand" Sandy Wynns _The Northern Soul Story 1_

interview with realtor Fran Innes

"Quicksand" The Youngbloods _Elephant Mountain_

"Quicksand" Tim Buckley _Sefronia_

"Quicksand Around My Mind" George Jackson _Leavin' Your Homework Undone: In The Studio With George Jackson 1968-1971_

"Quicksand" Bobby Womack & Peace _Across 110th Street_

"Quicksand" David Bowie _Hunky Dory_

interview with adventurer Foster Iverson

"Quicksand Lovers" Cristina _Sleep It Off_

"Quicksand" Reinheitsgebot _The Complete R.S.C. Recordings - Volume 1: December 1984_

"Quicksand" Hellfire Sermons _Hymns, Ancient & Modern (1988-1993)_

"Quick Sand" Carlene Davis _The 15 Classics Of Carlene Davis_

"Quicksand" Albert Collins _Don't Lose Your Cool_

interview with PR guy Felix Isodore

"Quicksand" September Girls _Age Of Indignation_

"Quicksand" Belly _Dove_

"Quicksand" Holly Golightly _Do The Get Along_

"Shipwrecked Boat On Quicksand" Franny London _Cold Water_

"Quicksand" George Carlin _More Napalm & Silly Putty_

"Quicksand" Persil _Duotone_

conclusion & goodbye

"Quicksand" Adrian Belew _Side Two_

"Quicksand" John Mulaney _New In Town_

"Quicksand" Siberia _Harm's Way_

"Quicksand Castle" Dirty Ghosts _Let It Pretend_

"Quicksand" Blackbird _Blackbird_

Whither Quicksand?

(image from the Wikipedia)

It begins, like so many things in my life, with David Bowie. Specifically, the Divine Symmetry box set that came out last year. As I discussed yesterday, I found the song "Quicksand" puzzling back when the album was new to me, some forty years ago. Listening to Bowie sing the song into a cassette deck in San Francisco was a little too intimate for me. & at some point, it caused a cascade.

"How many songs about quicksand can there be?" I wondered. Turns out, more than enough for a two-hour radio show.

Was it triggering for me? Wasn't I one of those kids who grew up with the media telling us how dangerous quicksand was? Here's something startling - according to this article, in the 1960s, "nearly 3 percent of the films in that era - one in 35 - showed someone sinking in mud or sand or oozing clay." Today? Not so much.

We will be experiencing the wonders & perils of quicksand on today's episode of Self Help Radio, which will air from noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland. Listen in town at 90.3+98.3fm & online at Freeform Portland dot org. & please - be careful!

Preface To Quicksand: That David Bowie Song

(image from the song's Wikipedia page)

Bowie's album Hunky Dory became my friend I think in the eleventh grade. Before I acquired it, I probably listened to Ziggy Stardust & Scary Monsters more. I don't think I had begun listening to Diamond Dogs or Low at this point. I think I bought it at a chain store (like Sound Warehouse) at "the Nice Price" around the same time I bought Aladdin Sane. I was not as enamored with that album as much as with Hunky Dory.

With the exception of "Changes," which I had heard way too often at that point, & which I think I was tired of by the time it was included in The Breakfast Club, I would generally listen to the album all the way through, starting on side A with "Oh You Pretty Things." I have memories of listening to it while the night came on, my room getting increasingly dark, & me refusing to turn the light on as I rose from bed to flip the record over. While I was never as enamored of the song as I was - & am - of "The Bewlay Brothers," I found "Quicksand" fascinating.

Back then, I imagined songs had some essence of truth that needed to be teased out, like explicating a poem. I had no idea how Bowie wrote songs - the two other musicians I paid the most attention to at the time were Elvis Costello & John Lennon. Lennon's penchant for absurdity was difficult to fit into that paradigm - yes, "One & one & one is three," but did that mean something? Despite his vitriol, Elvis Costello was a bit more fun - he liked to pun & write lines like, "You lack lust, you're so lackluster." But "I'm living in a silent film/Portraying Himmler's sacred realm of dream reality"? Himmler? The Nazi?!?

Most depressing for a sixteen year old person is the repeated lines (I guess it's the chorus):

Don't believe in yourself

Don't deceive with belief

Knowledge comes with death's release

Good grief. How could that possibly be true? Even then I didn't believe in anything happening to me after death. What were you supposed to know after "death's release"? You couldn't really know anything. Was that the truth?

Now I wonder if I ever spoke to anyone about these questions I had. Probably not. They probably just took up residence within me in the darkened room of my teenage years. The song, like the album, lives inside me still, having taken hold about forty years ago. & it is somewhat responsible for this week's theme.

Which I'll talk about tomorrow.

Dogwalk 2020

In a Zoom conversation tonight with old friends from KVRX, the phrase "now that covid is over" was used more than once. It doesn't feel over to me. Two of my radio pals have had covid (one of them twice!) & they both said it was mild. I guess when you get it, if you're vaccinated, it's mild? I dunno. I never got it.

The picture above was taken on a dog walk three years ago. We wore masks on walks - I still wear a mask when I go shop & when I'm inside any place with a lot of people - but we don't wear masks on walks anymore. Oh by the way that's me & my wife. I'm the one on the right. If that isn't obvious.

Covid doesn't feel over. & it's obviously not over with people who have long covid. & I really believe I will still get it at some point. Which is why I don't drop my guard. Except I have dropped my guard somewhat. Which is why I'll probably get it.

Have I been traumatized by the past three years? You bet. Will I ever entirely get over it? I dunno. Do I want to get over it? Yes! Will I spend the rest of this post asking myself yes/no questions? I think so. Is this the last one? No. Will there ever be a last one? Yes.

Sir Archibald Von Poesy Redux

This is something I never do so I thought I'd do it so I couldn't say I never do it instead I can say I rarely do it. Which is this: share the dumb poetry I write & "perform" as Sir Archibald Von Poesy.

Poesy is a dumb character with a fake English accent that occasionally shares his verse with Self Help Radio. His work inevitably has the rhyme scheme AAAAAAA - however long the poem is - basically every line rhymes. It's very stupid & shabbily performed & it's something that I have great fun writing.

So without further ado - this is the poem "Tongue" which appeared on last week's show:

A bee alit upon my tongue

It seemed so pretty & so young

Interrupting the song I sung

As to a nearby branch I clung

Yes from a tree it's true I hung

Like from a ladder with one rung

From the ground I up there sprung

From branch to branch I swung & swung

From each moment of life I wrung

Experience inhaled into my lungs

My thoughts expansive & far-flung

My world an instrument to be strung

But in the middle of this song I song

A bee landed quietly on my tongue

& now my tongue, it is beestung.

This is how I wrote it - I sometimes change it slightly when reading. But you get the idea.

Ought I share more of Poesy's verse? No, I ought not.

Self Help Radio 080323: Tongues

(my dog Pauline is sticking her tongue out at you)

This is true: my wife has these cool images of tongues taken with a very powerful microscope. I thought, hey! I'd love to use one of those images for this week's show's page when I put the show up. But you know what? They're really gross. I mean, our tongues are pretty gross anyway. But up close, they look downright diseased. A total horror show.

Which is not what this week's show was! We had tongue twisters & slips of the tongue! We were tongue-tied & we spoke in tongues! We talked to experts & we talked about idioms! The only truly gross thing about the show is yours truly, & I do my best to minimize that. At least you don't have to look at me - I look downright diseased. Am I the close-up of a tongue?

Listen to the show with your ears but with your tongue hanging out at the Self Help Radio web site. Please remember you'll need to use a password - selfhelp - & a username - SHR. But you can download it! Everything that happens on the show is listed below.

As for me, I'm watching my tongue from here on in.

Self Help Radio Tongues Show

"The Tongue Song" The Ethnobabes _Thoughts On Barbecuing_

"Tongues" Tanya Tagaq _Tongues_

"Tongues (Everybody's Got One)" Modey Lemon _Thunder + Lightning_

introduction & definitions featuring a secret recording of an actual anatomist teaching about tongues!

"Lizard-Long-Tongue Boy" Bridget St. John _Ask Me No Questions_

"Sitting Here On A Tongue" The Grodeck Whipperjenny _The Grodeck Whipperjenny_

"Slip Of The Tongue" Nits _Work_

"Bit My Tongue" Earth Dad _Townies_

interview with Chet Martins of the Curb Your Tongue Society

"Sugar On My Tongue" Talking Heads _Popular Favorites 1976-1992: Sand In The Vaseline_

"Mary Long Tongue" Barrington Levy _The Barrington Levy Collection_

"Speaking In Tongues" Felicia Michaels _Lewd Awakenings_

"Mother Tongue" Dead Can Dance _The Serpent's Egg_

interview with Reverend Chris Masters, expert in speaking in tongues

"Tongue Tied" Betty McQuade _Hot Boppin' Girls Vol. II_

"I'm Tongue-Tied" The Magnetic Fields _i_

"Tongue-Tied" The Snow Fairies _Feel You Up_

"Tongue Tied" Bubblegum Lemonade _The Great Leap Backward_

"Tongue Tied" Erase Errata _Other Animals_

interview with Cory McIntyre of the Tip Of The Tongues Clubs

"It's On The Tip Of My Tongue" Doris Day _It's Magic (1947-1950)_

"Tip Of My Tongue" Tommy Quickly _The British Invasion: The History Of British Rock, Vol. 1_

"Right On The Tip Of My Tongue" Brenda & The Tabulations _Can You Dig It? The '70s Soul Experience_

"Tip Of My Tongue" Tall Dwarfs _Weeville_

idioms with tongues

"Lip Sync (To The Tounge Twisters)" Len Barry _The Very Best Of Len Barry: Original Master Recordings_

"Tongue Twisters" The Looking Glass _Tongue Twisters_

"Speaking In Tongues (feat. Terrence McKenna)" Spacetime Continuum _Alien Dreamtime_

"Tongue Of Fire" Gitane Demone _Never Felt So Alive_

conclusion & goodbye

"Spanish Is A Loving Tongue" Marianne Faithfull _Come My Way_

"Sharp Tongue" The Passage _Enflame_

"Tongues Begin To Wag" Orange Juice _Coals To Newcastle_

Whither Tongues?

(Gross! Image from here.)

My wife, who is an anatomist & anthropologist, studies tongues. Did she contribute anything to the show? Not directly - but I did spend a lot of time talking to her about tongues this week.

& yes, there's a Self Help Radio episode about taste - from almost twenty years ago! - but you didn't listen to that & I have no memory doing it. Besides, just because you're doing a radio show about taste doesn't mean you get to be tongue-tied, speak in tongues, try out some tongue twisters, or any of the other things that I meant to write but are on the tip of my tongue.

How many anatomical facial structures have I done shows about? Surprisingly few - no shows about eyes, ears, nose, or mouth. Maybe this week's show demonstrates a commitment to explore more of the face - shows about cheeks, chins, & forehead can't be far behind. (I have done shows about lips & teeth tho.) I mean for Pete's sake why not a show about mustaches already?!? I have no excuse.

Please listen to Freeform Portland today from noon to 2pm for a show about the tongue. It's on 90.3+98.3fm in Portland & online at freeform portland dot org. Lots of music, maybe even some fun. No tongues held or curbed here!

Preface To Tongues: Something Wrong

One of my favorite Peanuts comics, from September 16, 1968. Maybe not as brilliant as the one on February 3, 1962 - but I think about both of them when I think about the tongue.

Dead Facebook Friends

(image from here)

This should not be shocking news: I don't have a lot of friends on Facebook. I don't have a lot of friends in real life. What isn't shocking (apparently) is that some of my Facebook friends are dead.

According to this article (which is called "Death On Facebook Now Common As 'Dead Profiles' Create Vast Virtual Cemetery" & which is over a decade old), "By the end of this year, 3 million Facebook users' pages will have become memorial sites for their owners." How many is it now, I wonder?

It reminds me of old Geocities websites. There was a time when everyone it seemed has some sort of web presence thanks to Geocities. Unsurprisingly, it was sold to Yahoo, who deleted the whole thing in 2009. & even more unsurprisingly, someone stepped up to try to archive as many of those sites as possible.

Is there a parallel between the early web & early silent films, where more than 75% are lost forever? I dunno. I maintained the KVRX website in the mid-90s & very rarely saved my work. Many things I created back then are lost now for good.

Meanwhile, of my less than 400 Facebook friends, I now count that at least ten are no longer with us (one of them is something I never met, who became friends with me because we had friends in common). I once mentioned I had a dream that Facebook would update our status once we died - it's very strange that these pages are still there, for folks to visit, with that eerie final post of theirs like words no one thought would be the last thing they ever wrote.

Should we be preparing our final social media post like our last words?

Maybe because I'm entering that phase of life in which, as my wife has said, "There are fewer marriages & births, & more divorces & death." It does seem like death is more visible & more inevitable. I wonder which of my Facebook friends will go next - & am painfully aware it could be me.

The Sirens Of Film

(Image from the IMDb)

On last week's show - which you can listen to at the Self Help Radio website - we talked about & played songs about sirens - the mythical bird/woman creatures whose song meant doom for unlucky sailors passing by.  Our resident cinephile Chuck stopped by to talk about films in which Greek mythology played a part - because, sadly, while there are plenty of songs about sirens (& about the songs of sirens), sirens aren't as well-represented in films. & we're always happy when he stops by!

Once you've listened to his segment, explore the following links he's provided for further film enjoyment:

Here is his YouTube playlist of films & trailers.

Here is his Letterboxd list. (Chuck says that he put the links to available videos in the notes for the films plus where they are available to stream for free.)

His reviews for the films he watched are here.

Chuck reviews films on his Substack. Subscribe for free!
He may write some review on his Bluesky account.

& he may write about them on Dying Twitter.
Here is the IMDb list of films available to stream for free elsewhere. Please note: there is duplication with of some on the YouTube list but quality is usually better, and their availability may be for limited time: 

Oh, & here is Chuck's IMDb keyword search.

Go listen! Go watch!

Self Help Radio 072723: Sirens

(original image on the Wikipedia)

They said it couldn't be done! & by they, I usually mean me, because I don't really believe in myself. Well, take that, me! Here's an entire show about sirens!

The only thing this show lacked was an idea I had for one of my fake interviews - I wanted to interview a retired siren. Alas, the improviser who I thought would be perfect for this was unavailable. I thought about just doing it myself but ran out of time. Another idea was me reading parts of the Odyssey in an over-the-top super hammy style - instead, I opted for stuff from an audiobook.

What you did get however is four good interviews & lots of great tunes. At least I think so. Go ahead, go listen to the show over at the Self Help Radio website. Please remember you need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to listen. All the stuff that happen on the show is below.

The original painting up there, by John William Waterhouse, is really rad, & I feel bad about defacing it. My apologies.

Self Help Radio Sirens Show

"J'Entends La Sirene" Edith Piaf _L'Accordeoniste_

"Isle Of Sirens" The Impressions _The Fabulous Impressions_

"Song To The Siren" This Mortal Coil _It'll End In Tears_

introduction & definitions

"The Poet & The Siren" Damien Youth _The Man Who Invented God_

"Dial 'S' For Siren (feat. the Randall Zanelli Singers)" The Barry Gemso Experience _Harpsichord 2000_

"Sirens Call" Louis Philippe _A Kiss In The Funhouse_

"Siren Song" The Besties _Singer_

interview with explorer Grant Adkins, who's looking for sirens

"Sirena" Calexico _Convict Pool_

"The Sailor & The Siren" Rusalnaia _Rusalnaia_

"Sirensong" The Cure _4:13 Dream_

"Sailor To Siren" Sam Beam & Jesca Hoop _Love Letter For Fire_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about mythology in the movies

"Siren" Half Waif _The Caretaker_

"I Hear The Sirens" The Dirtbombs _We Have You Surrounded_

"Sirens" The Pack A.D. _Unpersons_

"The Siren Song" Joan Gerber _The Story Lady_

"Waiting For The Sirens' Call" New Order _Waiting For The Sirens' Call_

interview with classics scholar Dr. Gerald Arthur, who's written books about the Odyssey

"Siren Song" Brave Combo _No, No, No, Cha Cha Cha_

"The Siren Song" Folk Is People _The Devil Always Comes_

"Siren Song" Dinner _New Work_

"Siren" Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton _Choir Of The Mind_

interview with former captain Geoff Anderton, who has seen sirens
+ conclusion & goodbye

"Song To The Siren" Tim Buckley _Starsailor_

"Siren" Makthaverskan _III_

"Of Sirens, Vampires, & Lovers" Me & That Man _Songs Of Love & Death_

"Siren Song" Bat For Lashes _Two Suns_

Whither Sirens?

(from the Wikipedia)

Like almost everyone else, I heard about sirens in the context of The Odyssey. It is a testimony to the weird power of the story that it's so memorable although it takes up a very small fraction of the narrative arc. They are these creatures who sing to sailors, mesmerizing them & causing them to wreck their ships, presumably to consume them or some other horrible thing. Homer doesn't describe them but later stories involving sirens have them as half-woman/half-bird monsters - since birds sing, one supposes, & since women seduce.

Perhaps the most famous song about sirens is Tim Buckley's "Song To The Siren." Like a lot of people listening to "alternative" or "independent" music in the 1980s, I was first exposed to this tune thanks to This Mortal Coil. I had almost certainly listened to the Cocteau Twins by the time I found the record It'll End In Tears, & it was Elisabeth Frazer's haunting singing that made me love the cover of "Song To The Siren" on that record. It would have been child's play for her to make me dash my boat against her rocks.

A few weeks ago, I discovered a television appearance from 1983 of her singing that song live. It is here - I'm not going to try to embed it. It's incredible & I've watched it over & over. (There's also an official music video for it too.) It made me think, are there enough songs about sirens to make an entire radio show? The answer is yes.

Please listen today on Freeform Portland from noon to 2pm local time on 90.3+98.3fm in online everywhere at freeform portland dot org. Maybe dock your seafaring vessels while listening? I'm not responsible for any damage caused by siren songs.

Preface To Sirens: No, Not Those Kinds Of Sirens

The dictionary defines a siren as "a device that makes a loud prolonged sound as a signal or warning." But it also tells us that it means, in Greek mythology, "each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors on to rocks."

When I first thought about doing a show about sirens, I thought I might have to mix the two. But nope! The show will be about the mythological sirens.

Siren by the way can also mean "a woman who is considered to be alluring or fascinating but also dangerous in some way." Some singers are called sirens but there are also sirens of the silver screen.

Even better though is that there are at least four kinds of animals called sirens:

Siren (genus), a genus of aquatic salamanders in the family Sirenidae

Hestina, a genus of brush-footed butterfly commonly called sirens

Sirenia, an order of aquatic mammals including dugongs and manatees

Sirenidae, a family of aquatic salamanders

Alas, I will not be doing a show about them - except that they might have been named sirens after the mythological sirens - I can't find evidence of that in my limited research though.

Why a show about the deadly singing bird-like sirens? I'll tell you that tomorrrow!

Closed For Pandemic

Something that is very hard for me to come to terms with is that "the pandemic is over." You know the dude who's still wearing the mask in supermarkets & at shows? That's me. I never got covid (as far as I know) & I never want to get covid (which is something that still happens!).

At both Freeform Portland & XRAY I no longer wear a mask when I'm around other people. I haven't been to KBOO for a while (my show is recorded) but the policy there is to be masked in the studios, so I would be. I don't wear a mask at my local liquor store, but I do at the clinic where I pick up my meds. & when we are walking dogs, though I am unmasked, I still cross the street to avoid one-on-one interactions with people - which is fine as my dogs get too excited & become total assholes.

The picture above was taken three years ago outside the Voodoo Donuts on Davis Street. There are those we've met who will insist this is a rule: "No one who lives in Portland goes to Voodoo Donuts!" Those people have other issues to work out, because for those of us who are vegan, Voodoo Donuts has many more vegan options than your average Portland donut shop. When I tried to get some vegan donuts for my wife on this day three years ago, this is what I found - that shop was closed due to the pandemic.

It's open now. I sometimes pick up donuts on Saturday mornings after my XRAY show, since it's between the XRAY studios & where we live. But it's interesting to see this picture & remember stranger days.

Days that, to me, aren't quite over. I think there's a booster vaccine out there I should get that I am not currently qualified for. I need to look into that.

The 1968 Project

(The front page of the 1968 releases section of Rate Your Music.)

Some time last year, wanting to help have some late-night content for KBOO, I conceived of something I thought would be fun. KBOO & I were born in the same year, 1968. What if I used a list of albums from 1968 as a kind of playlist, listening to the records myself even if I previously didn't like them? What if I also took as much on-air real estate as possible by playing the longest song on each record?

This is what I did, for three shows that aired during otherwise empty slots on KBOO. I also made a couple of shorter ones for Freeform Portland (starting at # 1 but only covering four hours), but other things intervened - like having to do three shows a week on three different stations - & it fell by the wayside.

Last week I was thinking about this & decided to do it for Corporate Standardized Programming this week. The first thing was to find out exactly where I was on the list. This became an issue because, since Rate Your Music is dynamic & new people are voting all the time on the list, the original numbering I had was changed - sometimes radically so. The Mothers Of Invention's We're Only In It For The Money, which last year was at # 17 is currently at # 24; the Band's Music From The Big Pink went from # 18 to # 27. So much for there being an objective "best"!

Nonetheless I forged ahead & recorded an episode that will air tonight on KBOO from midnight to 3am in the Corporate Standardized Programming slot. It probably makes no sense but in case someone was curious about the previous shows, I need to put them on my table of contents on the web site but before that, let me link to the original episodes for you here:

The 1968 Project, Part I

The 1968 Project, Part II
The 1968 Project, Part III

Remember you'll need a username/password to listening to these, I'd suggest SHR/selfhelp as that's what they are.

& hopefully I'll return to it again sooner. It's wonderfully fun to do. Even if it's a sausage party. Seriously, so few female voices on the show. It's depressing.