Self Help Radio 101524: Pandas

Here it is! Your radio show about pandas. Probably would've been cuter if I were in any way cute.

Listen to the show at the KBOO web site. Or listen at the Self Help Radio web page. Each is okay by me but if you listen at the Self Help Radio website please know the username is SHR & the password is selfhelp. That information might come in handy.

Lots of stuff happened during the show & almost all of it is listed below.

Yay pandas!

Self Help Radio Pandas Show

"Panda Riot" Our Hour _Little Darla Has A Treat For You (Volume Twelve Summer 1999)_

"Pictures Of Pandas Painting" They Might Be Giants _Here Come The ABCs_

"Panda Song" Audrey Ryan _Dishes & Pills_

introduction & definitions

"Pandas" Corky & The Juice Pigs _Corky & The Juice Pigs_

"Panda Eyes" Sing-Sing _The Joy Of Sing-Sing_

"Sex & Pandas" Mike Birbiglia _Two Drink Mike_

"Panda Panda Panda" Deerhoof _Apple O'_

"Oso Panda" Papá Topo _Oso Panda_

interview with "the Panda King" Johnny Bizarre

"Warm Panda Cola" The Boy Least Likely To _The Best Party Ever_

"Panda In The Rain" The Green Pajamas _If You Knew What I Dreamed... The Green Pajamas Play The Jeff Kelly Songbook_

"Pander! Panda! Panzer! (Excerpt)" Mark E. Smith _The Fall Box Set 1976-2007_

"Little Panda Bear" Kimya Dawson _Alphabutt_

"Panda Brain" The Telephone Company _Panda Brain!_

interview with voice actor Jackie Bodman ("Prudence Panda")

"More Pandas" Hey Young Believer _Invisible By Day_

"Pandas Are Cute" Matt Griffo _Wait, I Forgot That I Don't Love You_

"Wild Pandas" Walter Schreifels _An Open Letter To The Scene_

"Panda Butler" Matt Braunger _Shovel Fighter_

"Pandas Are Dangerous" Boogers _Extractum Victoris_

interview with "the panda guy" Jeff Dayer

"The Panda Bear Song" Foxes! _Foxes!_

"Panda Bear (feat. Alena Simone)" The Twigs _Jump Right In_ 

"Panda Eyes" Cocktails _Adult Life_

"Panda" The Hush Now _Sparkle Drive_

the truth about red pandas!

"Panda In The Chandelier" Tom Rosenthal _Bolu_

"Panda" Parekh & Singh _Ocean_

"Panda" Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine _Licensed To Spill_

"The Baby Panda" AJJ _Disposable Everything_

"Law & Panda" Weaves _Wide Open_

conclusion & goodbye

"Hey Panda" High Llamas _Hey Panda_

"Amanda The Panda" Aaron Raitiere _Simple Chimpanzee_

"Return Of The Panda" Teriyakis _Haunted Hungarian Sauna_

Whither Pandas?

(Panda Chair by Fernando & Humberto Campana, photo by me
taken at the Dallas Museum Of Art 2015)

Why a radio show about pandas? One might well ask why not a radio show about pandas?

Alas, the inspiration for this show was not the Chinese zoo who painted dogs to look like pandas. I thought about doing a show about pandas a bit longer ago than that news item. Though I suspect it might find its way into tonight's show nonetheless.

No, whatever caused me to begin to collect panda songs for a show about pandas is lost in the stinky mists of time. I mean, I assume the mists of time are stinky. Most of the world is stinky. Time is almost certainly stinky too.

No matter! The show about pandas happen tonight on 90.7fm which is KBOO! That's midnight to 2am! Also online at kboo dot fm! Pandas sure are cute! The radio show will not have that crucial visual element!

Preference To Pandas: Panda On A Picnic Bench (A Poem)

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
Was it a squire? was it a wench?
You see the ren fair was just in town
& you never know when they're here what kinds of shit will go down.

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
If only they'd left something useful - like a wrench
I mean I can't repair anything with a toy panda

Around here people think it's just Chinese propaganda.

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
What's worse the only language it speaks is French
& no one can make it what it's trying to say:
Quelqu'un peut-il aider ce pauvre panda s'il vous plaît ?

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
I'd be a hero, but I can't stand the stench
Yes that's a line from an Elvis Costello song

So if you said "I think he's out of ideas now" well you wouldn't be wrong.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: A Birthday Celebration

(I wish I could remember where I found this.)

Sadly, no, it's not Dick Dickenbock's birthday, but it is the birthday of a famous American songwriter. Who could it be? How will we celebrate? That would be telling! But you can guess if, you know, you look for famous American songwriters born on October 13.

That's tomorrow 12-1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland & online everywhere at xray dot fm. Gosh I hope there'll be cake.

This Week In Self Help ( Oct 6 + 8 )

(It's a 1971 Cadillac Coupe Deville. Image from here.)

It was a quiet, normal, no-extra-shows-for-Gary week. & it went like this:

The Dickenbock Report reported on National Badger Day. They said it couldn't be done! "They" is my dogs. They don't like badgers. The show aired on XRAY & you can in fact listen to it on the XRAY website. You can also listen & download the show on the Self Help Radio website. You may be asked for a username & password - use SHR & selfhelp.

Self Help Radio celebrated its 22nd anniversary by revisiting a theme from 2007. That theme was my favorite music from 1971. I played none of the songs/artists I played back then & still feel like I could do another two hours. In any event, that show aired on KBOO, & you can listen to it on the KBOO website. You can also listen & download the show on the Self Help Radio website. You may be asked for a username & password - use SHR & selfhelp.

The show on the KBOO website is three hours long - that's because it contains an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming. On that show I finished playing music I loved from 1988 - something I did on two episodes of Self Help Radio this year! If you'd like to listen to that show on its own, you can do so on the Self Help Radio website. You may be asked for a username & password - use SHR & selfhelp.

Someone texted me pictures of things they owned from 1971 during Self Help Radio & I thought of using them for this blog post but didn't. After all, I didn't get permission.

Self Help Radio 100824: 1971 Revisited (The 22nd Anniversary Show)

(all images from Discogs)

& what an anniversary it was! I discovered that I missed a lot of music from 1971 I adore the first time around (altho to be fair to me I did only have 90 minutes back then) & I got lots of calls that kept me from talking about 1971. Not a bad way to turn 22.

Side note: if Self Help Radio makes it to 44, I will be 78 years old when that happens. I doubt either of us will make our respective age. I don't even know if radio will be around in two decades!

Celebrate 22 years of Self Help Radio by listening either at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website. At the Self Help Radio website you'll need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access. All the songs played & all the things that happened are below.

One quick note - there's a song from 1971 that I actually didn't really know about - but someone requested it & I found it & I played it. So it's not all my favorite music of 1971.

Please enjoy!

Self Help Radio 1971 Revisited 22nd Anniversary Show

"Poor Boy" Nick Drake _Bryter Layter_

"Alcohol" The Kinks _Muswell Hillbillies_

introduction, explanation, airbreak from 2007

"Are You Leaving For The Country" Karen Dalton _In My Own Time_

"Jesus Was A Cross Maker" Judee Sill _Judee Sill_

"It's Gonna Take A Miracle" Laura Nyro & Labelle _Gonna Take A Miracle_

"Me & Bobby McGee" Janis Joplin _Pearl_

some thoughts about 1971 Otto calls in!

"The Silver Tongued Devil & I" Kris Kristofferson _The Silver Tongued Devil & I_

"Huntsville" Merle Haggard & The Strangers _Someday We'll Look Back_

"The Architect" Monty Python _Another Monty Python Record_

"L'Hôtel Particulier" Serge Gainsbourg _Histoire De Melody Nelson_

some thoughts about 1971 Frank calls in!

"Lady Day & John Coltrane" Gil Scott-Heron _Pieces Of A Man_

"Tired Of Being Alone" Al Green _Al Green Gets Next To You_

"Gonna Keep On Tryin' Till I Win Your Love" The Temptations _Sky's The Limit_

"Country Living" The Stylistics _The Stylistics_

some thoughts about 1971 Oliver calls in!

"Wild Night" Van Morrison _Tupelo Honey_

"Sister Anne" MC5 _High Time_

"Baba O'Riley" The Who _Who's Next_

some thoughts about 1971 Tina calls in!

"Underground" Curtis Mayfield _Roots_

"Get Up & Get Down" The Dramatics _Whatcha See Is Whatcha Get_

"Love The One You're With" The Isley Brothers _Givin' It Back_

"Timothy" The Buoys _The Buoys_

conclusion & goodbye

"Why Don't You Eat Carrots" Faust _Faust_

Whither 1971 Revisisted (Twenty-Second Anniversary Show)?

(The twenty-sixth amendment was added to the U.S. Constitution in 1971. Image from here.)

It's that time again! Another anniversary. Self Help Radio first aired on 91.7fm KOOP Austin on October 9, 2002. It was a Wednesday at 2pm. It's now (almost) twenty-two years later.

It has become the show's habit to revisit an old theme on its anniversary. This year I've chosen to return to a theme first explored in 2007 - my favorite music from the year 1971. My show at the time was 90 minutes long, but there are of course many more favorite songs from that year. I'll play more tonight. (If you want to see what I played way back then, the playlist for that show is here.)

Self Help Radio has aired on at least eight different stations in at least four different towns in I think four different states. Had you told me on that October afternoon in 2002 I'd still be doing this, I would've said, "Oh I don't think so." But I am not a person that looks forward. I probably didn't think I'd still be doing the show in 2003.

Nonetheless. We have an anniversary show. Tonight on KBOO, which is on 90.7fm here in Portland, & online at kboo dot fm. Midnight to 2am. Which is technically Tuesday. & as close to October 9 as I could get this year.

Preface To 1971 Revisited (The 22nd Anniversary Show!): Repeat

(This 1971 events montage courtesy of the Wikipedia.)

Self Help Radio began on October 9, 2002. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd still be doing this show twenty-two years later.

In 2008, around the time of the show's sixth anniversary, I conceived of the idea of revisiting an old theme on the show's anniversary. Doing the math, this will be the seventeenth anniversary show. (You gotta count 2008 or it doesn't make sense.) The theme I am choosing to revisit is a show from 2007 - it's basically just more of my favorite music from 1971. I won't play anything from the first show - nothing from here - except perhaps recordings of me from that show. I dunno. I haven't listened yet.

But I will share with you something from this blog from 2007 - the "preface" I wrote before the day-of-show piece. It's called: Preface to 1971: What The Hell?! It's Snowing In Austin?! 

The past few days have been weird.

I caught a cold in Cambridge, which existed as sniffles as we trained our way (from Cambridge to King's Cross, King's Cross to Gatwick) to our flight. But once in the air, the seventeen-day plane ride (or was it fourteen years?) provided fertile ground for my sniffles to blossom into utter misery. I am guessing it had something to do with the fact that a good percentage of the passengers had some form of cold, & also that the rude bastard next to me seemed completely unable to cover his mouth when he hacked, which he did roughly ten times a minute. (I guess he doesn't have to worry about carpal tunnel.) I developed a sinus headache at thirty thousand feet, with the entire top row of my back teeth feeling like they were rotten to the very nerves. Helpful waitresses - er, stewardesses - er, flight attendants - informed me that they couldn't dispense medication, which made the reruns of "I Love Lucy" I was watching without sound even more unbearable than the fortieth time I watched them, when I was eight. With sound.

We arrived safe & warm in Dallas, last Thursday, & Magda gave me Nyquil pills & immediately I felt better. Why couldn't the waitresses on the plane give me medication? If my heart had stopped (Magda's sister pointed out) they are allowed to defibrillate me. Ah well. I will always self-medicate before any flight I take from now on.

A key word up there (keyword?) is the word "warm." It was nearly 70 degrees (Fahrenheit - in Europe, it'd be an unimpressive 18 or 19 degrees "Celsius"). Our hotel room in England wasn't that warm. We got the car & Magda drove me, all runny nosed & delirious, to my mom's, where we spent the night. I can't be sure, but the moms might have had the air conditioner on at her place. For fuck's sake.

After a medicated night's sleep, we drove home & I did my show with an adenoidal accent, & then the weekend came. It rained like a motherfucker on Friday night. (& by the way, as an idiom, the phrase "like a motherfucker" is easily translatable & even more easily exportable. I gave it to my friends in Belgium & I hope they are using it most agreeably.) It was insane. Temperatures dropped. & it got worse.

It's fucking snowing outside. Actually, it's more like it's raining/sleeting/snowing. Like a motherfucker. It's absolutely bugfuck crazy. They closed the University (so I didn't have to work - so my vacation is extended - it's like the damned Energizer Bunny, this vacation) & I've been sitting at home listening to music & occasionally wandering outside to let little pellets of frozen water bounce off my head. They may even close the school tomorrow, as well. Probably because Texans can't drive in the ice. But mainly because IT'S CRAZY THAT IT'S SNOWING IN AUSTIN.

My show this week has something to do with the year 1971, before they invented snow. Before, I believe, they invented Austin. I'll have to write about why I'm doing a show about 1971 tomorrow. I have an uncontrollable urge right now to go swat icicles off my eaves. Excuse me.

But if you asked me if I remembered any of this - well, I remember being sick on the plane, & trying to buy medicine once we landed, & my girlfriend (now wife) driving me home - but I don't remember doing this show or the one before or the snow situation in Austin. I'm not even sure I remember where KOOP was located at this time. But none of that matters. I have an anniversary to celebrate!

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Badger Day

(image from here*)

October 6 is National Badger Day (as if you need to be told). We'll talk about the badger tomorrow on the Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM. Information, musical reports, even the sound of the badger. To make your National Badger Day tomorrow as wonderful as all your previous National Badger Days have been.

That's Sunday, October 6, from noon to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland & online everywhere at xray dot fm.

* American badger photo by Heather Paul is licensed under the Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

This Week In Self Help (Sept 29 +30 & Oct 1 + 3)

(image from here)

For some reason, altho I had a radio show about oysters, Otto The Outcast Oyster never came up. Like, at all. Maybe because he was lost in the many radio shows I did this week? Let's recap.

The Dickenbock Report was on the penultimate day of September, & featured coffee songs for National Coffee Day. The show is available to be enjoyed at the XRAY website & also at the Self Help Radio website. Pro tip: use the username SHR & password selfhelp to access the file at the Self Help Radio website.

On Monday night I spent a couple of hours on KBOO playing new experimental, jazz, & electronica music. Sadly, KBOO doesn't archive its sub shows, but you can listen if you want at the Self Help Radio website. Pro tip again: use the username SHR & password selfhelp to access the file at the Self Help Radio website.

Self Help Radio was, as I've said, about oysters this week. The show is available to be enjoyed at the KBOO website & also at the Self Help Radio website. The same pro tip: use the username SHR & password selfhelp to access the file at the Self Help Radio website.

The show after Self Help Radio, Corporate Standardized Programming, played lots & lots of new releases. It's the last hour of the show on the KBOO website linked above, but you can also listen at the Self Help Radio website. One last mention of the pro tip: use the username SHR & password selfhelp to access the file at the Self Help Radio website.

Finally, I sat in the XRAY show Welcome To Your Good Day on Thursday afternoon & played lots of new releases. I haven't put it on the Self Help Radio website but you can listen to it on the XRAY website.

What happens to Otto The Outcast Oyster you may ask? If you visit the link here, you can read the entire story!

Self Help Radio 100124: Oysters

(Original image from here*)

Hey that was fun! Fun to find songs about oysters, fun to talk about oysters. I'm very sure I wouldn't have fun eating oysters - even when I did eat dead animals, I didn't much like seafood - plus I watched a lot of Youtube videos about oysters & I don't think I could even touch such slimy things. They remind me of the slimy brussel sprouts they tried to make me eat as a kid (I'm from the South). But oysters are fascinating creatures & humans have eaten them for a long time & so they have found their way into art & song & this show I hope demonstrated a small hint of that.

Also you know there were silly interviews.

Listen to show when you want at either the KBOO website or the Self Help Radio website. For the latter please remember username SHR & password selfhelp. Lots of things happened on the show, they are listed below.

It starts with the poor oysters in the Lewis Carroll poem!

Self Help Radio Oysters Show

"The Walrus & The Carpenter" Donovan _HMS Donovan_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Encyclopedia-A-Tron 9000

"Oysters & Wine At 2 A.M." Old South Quartette _The Early Negro Vocal Quartets Vol. 1 (1902-1928)_

"You're Not The Only Oyster In The Stew" Fats Waller & His Rhythm _Fats Waller 1934-1935_

"What Noise Annoys An Oyster" Max Bygraves _The Decca Years 1957–1962_

"The Oyster & The Flying Fish" Kevin Ayers & The Whole World _Shooting At The Moon_

"Oyster Thins" Mayo Thompson _Corky's Debt To His Father_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by

"Oyster" The Shy Tots _Logical Steps_

"Oysters" Delay Tactics _Any Questions?_

"Oyster" Bel Canto _Birds Of Passage_

"Oyster" Jawbreaker _Dear You_

"(Do Not Feed The) Oyster" Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks _Pig Lib_

interview with humorist Olivia Majors

"Oyster" Rick Altizer _Surfonic Water Revival_

"Oyster" Sweet Apple Pie _Between The Lines_

"Oysters" Magic Trick _Other Man's Blues_

"Oysters In My Pocket" Royel Otis _Bar N Grill_

"Oysters" Meshell Ngedeocello _Weather_

interview with the Rev Oscar Mann

"Tale Of The Oyster" Amy Burton, Patrick Mason, & John Musto _Got A Little Rhythm_

"Oyster" D.D Dumbo _Utopia Defeated_

"Oyster Girl" Kim Lowings & The Greenwood _Wild & Wicked Youth_

"Oyster Cuts" Quivers _Oyster Cuts_

conclusion & goodbye

"The World's My Oyster Soup Kitchen Floor Wax Museum" King Crimson _The ConstruKction Of Light_

"Duck For The Oyster" Malcolm McLaren _Duck Rock_

* The original image is by Stephane Pouvreau, & it's licensed under the Attribution 4.0 International Deed.

Whither Oysters?

(Image from here)

Just to get it out of the way - I did a show about pearls a long time ago. In the fourth year of this show! The playlist is here. Pearls seem like a good theme, yes? Oysters not so much. But was that what attracted me to the idea of a radio show about oysters?

Dang I wish I could tell you. I myself don't eat seafood & back when I was forced to by my mother I never had an oyster. Until this show I believe most of what I knew about oysters was from cartoons. But at some point in the past I thought the theme of oysters might be a good idea. I created a folder on my computer which is how most ideas for shows start. & I began to fill it with songs about oysters. Suddenly there were enough for a show!

That's not very satisfying which is sad because some people think oysters are very important when it comes to a certain kind of satisfaction. My sister tells me she's allergic to seafood. I will assume by the transitive genetic property that that's true for me, too. So I guess I'll never know about the power of oysters.

Unless I do a radio show about them? Tune it tonight from midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland & online everywhere at kboo dot fm to find out with me. Not in a creepy sexual way! That sounded like I was hitting on you I totally wasn't. Oh my gosh.

Preface To Oysters: Oyster Cartoon

From at Skeleton Claw dot com. Yes, this week's show is about oysters. Not necessarily pearls. More tomorrow.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Coffee Day

That photo was taken in Edinburgh, Scotland, in May 2016. Its sentiment is shared however the world over. Which is why tomorrow, September 29, we will report on National Coffee Day on the Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM. Don't worry about the Scots! International Coffee Day is two days later.

That's noon to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, online everywhere at xray dot fm.

You can say, "I take my coffee like I take my radio - all the time!"

This Week In Self Help (Sep 22 24 + 26)

It was another busy week. When will these silly radio stations learn?

The Dickenbock Report had a show for Dear Diary Day. I even read from Dick Dickenbock's diary! If you would like, listen to the show on the XRAY website. If you would like, listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website. You may need a username + password - please use SHR + selfhelp.

Self Help Radio has a show about spirals, like the one pictured above. If you would like, listen to the show on the KBOO website. If you would like, listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website. You may need a username + password - please use SHR + selfhelp.

The last hour of the KBOO show above is an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming in which I played music from folks we've lost recently - including a friend of mine. If you would like to listen to that show by itself, you can do so on the Self Help Radio website. You may need a username + password - please use SHR + selfhelp.

On Thursday I subbed an XRAY show called Welcome To Your Good Day. I have not put that show up on the Self Help Radio website yet (I'll do that next Tuesday) but until I do you can listen to the show on the XRAY website. Or maybe not - I don't see that it was recorded. Hm. I'll update this when I put the show on the Self Help Radio website then.

Update! I have added the show to Self Help Radio website. You can listen here. You may need a username + password - please use SHR + selfhelp.

Oh no I'm spiraling into control! I better sign off now.