Thursday, September 10, 2009

Some Things To Do Before The Vacation

It's true, I don't know where Self Help Radio will end up on the WMUL schedule in a couple of weeks. But I can't worry about that. I gotta get back to Texas to help my mother celebrate her 80th birthday! & knowing her, I'm going to designated driver all weekend long.

I'll let you know about the show's fate when I do, but until then, surely you can enjoy yesterday's show (theme: "Run!") available now at, as well as the sixth episode of the pop show Sugar Substitute (theme: deliciousness) also available there.

If I see you in Dallas & Austin, I'll see you there. Expect a little radio silence for ten days or so - not from the radio, just from me. I may pop in every once in a while to say hey - & to tell you where Self Help Radio lands on the 88.1 schedule.

Now go, listen to those shows. I have to pack.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

On Your Markers...

Hey! Yeah, you! Do you live in Huntington, West Virginia? Do you or anyone you know have access to a radio? Do you know how to turn it on? To adjust the volume to a level at which your ears are comfortable? Do you know how to tune it to a particular frequency? Yeah? Hey! Can you tell time? It doesn't matter if it's digital or uses an hour hand & a minute hand - any type of clock will do. You can? Swell! When it's three o'clock (big hand pointing to the top of the clock, little hand at a right angle pointing to the right) (or 3:00 on a digital clock) (if it's military time, it'll be 1500 hours), you can tune your radio to 88.1 fm. That's WMUL Huntington. You can listen to today's episode of Self Help Radio. That's right! The theme is "run!" Wait - I didn't mean for you to... Nertz.

Okay, you - do you live in Huntington, West Virginia? No? Do you have a computer? Is it connected to the internet? Yes? Do you know how to use a web browser? Yes? Super! Some time tomorrow - you can check back here if you like - you can listen to today's show at! Isn't that great? It'll be the same theme because it's the same show. Just recorded. It's like science fiction of the nineteen-thirties only it's eighty years later & it's real!

This'll be the last Self Help Radio for a couple of weeks, so do tune in if you can, or listen online when you can. It not only makes you a better citizen, it entertains you in a grand old style. It's true!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Whither Run!?

in the auld database, where there are data saved, information about a musical collection gathered over many years, consisting of many media, vinyl, digital, compressed & uncompressed, scattered & strewn, the clever music maven begins to note similarities of title & theme, tiered & alphabetized handily, not coincidental, but in convenient blocks, lines of repeated words which signify not cover songs but originals.

"Run" is a song title. There are dozens!

"Run Run" is another song title. Only a few of these. Why?

"Run Run Run" is yet another song title. Many more of these.

Something like a spark ignites the tinder-quality gray matter in the deejay's song-soaked head. "A show!" thinks he, "A show with songs only titled "Run!" & "Run Run!" & "Run, Run Run!"

The gauntlet is thrown. The disparate, yet homogeneously named, tracks are gathered, listened to, arranged.

Another Self Help Radio is thus born!

Monday, September 07, 2009

Preface To Run!: A Wide History Of Flat Feet

I never knew I had flat feet until the girlfriend/wife (sometime either before or after the marriage, but I don't remember when, so I err on the side of calling her both although she cannot for whatever reason be both) pointed it out to me on some occasion with some surprise. I suppose she had never really looked at my feet before. She seemed startled. I was a little embarrassed.

She's an anatomist, so I take her observation as fact.

I hoped I had flat feet when I was a lad because I had heard that flat feet disqualifies you for military service. I didn't want to serve the military. I wouldn't have liked the killing or, on another level, the showering with other men. I wondered how one could fake flat feet, but decided instead on being a conscientious objector, although later research showed that you really, really had to prove you hated war. No spending the entire conflict with the Quakers for me!

However, since 20 to 30 percent of the population have flat feet, it would be moronic for the military to refuse those afflicted with this condition. They've even done studies about it, probably more to assuage old officers who believe in old officers' wives' tales, than to find proof of disqualification. However, it must be said, I have more or less well flat feet, while some folks with flat feet are in a lot of pain. Damn you fallen arches! How can you be so cruel?

Yet I run. I run free! My flat feet, my flat right foot, my flat left foot, & me.