Friday, March 14, 2008

7 Shows To Go!

& nearly half of them are Membership Drive shows. So today you may not only tune in to hear at least ninety minutes worth of caffeinated talk & songs about coffee, but also you'll hear us ask nicely for money for the station's continued support. You can call during Self Help Radio today & make me feel loved, or you can visit KOOP's web site to donate online. Keeping independent radio independent - don't you wanna?

Yes, today's show is about coffee. Tune in! Only seven more chances to do that here in Austin! Live at 4:30 pm on the 91.7 frequency, or online at Archived later at that web page I have.

Listen! Call! Give! Have a cuppa joe!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Be My Guest!

A nice fellow who happened to be female who also happened to be named Camille sat with me as we rescued a stranded hour of radio yesterday from 11am to noon. That show, in which I out my own mother as a necrophile, is available for listening to over at Do not tell my mother.

Also, as I am leaving the radio station soon, I am hoping you'll want to continue listening to my ridiculous show as a podcast. If that is the case, send me an email at shrpodcast at gmail dot com & I will put you on a list notifying you when new podcasts are uploaded. Doesn't that sound swell?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Whither Coffee?

According to facts that I "researched" online, Americans drink more 300 million cups of coffee a day - a third of the water consumption of Americans - basically one cup of coffee for every American, although of course YOU drink more. You stink of java, buddy.

Should we drink less coffee? Didn't I hear something about anti-oxidant levels in coffee? Or was that in an issue of Aquaman? Yes, it was. & no it wasn't. Stop reading & pay attention!

Some smarty-pants scientists with their data say coffee appears to reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, cirrhosis of the liver, & the gout. But these benefits seem to come from coffee's caffeine content, & you know what? Drinking caffeinated coffee affects the arterial walls, & if you drink too much you can suffer from something unpleasantly called hypomagnesaemia (it hurts in the pants), not to mention coronary heart disease.

Coronary heart disease? Hey! I said not to mention it!

Students everywhere claim it helps their memory. I'll need another cup to remember where I read that.

When I was a kid, I thought coffee was like hot chocolate, because my mother always drank it with lots of sugar & cream. ("You want some coffee with that cream & sugar?") I still associate the smell of sweet coffee, & the pale swirly brown in the cup, with fond feelings of my mother on cold mornings. But I associate the bitterness of coffee with unhappiness in my twenties, especially espresso, which I used to cure my meth addiction. Only to get addicted to espresso. Damn it!

I want to do a show about coffee because I know how much you like it. I can do a show about Aquaman later. Your wet suit isn't going anywhere!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Preface To Coffee: Decaffeinate Me, Bitch

Coffee grows on trees. It's true. Look it up. Coffee does not just grow in houses owned by people named Maxwell. That's a damnable lie!

Coffee is loved by many people, most of whom are not famous. People like Voltaire & Balzac loved coffee, & they were famous. Now, of course, they're dead. Not all coffee lover are dead, either. Now that I think about it, they were also French. But please don't get me wrong - I don't think all coffee lovers are dead famous French men. I think, for example, some unknown French women have loved coffee.

I lost my train of thought. Do you know what scares me most about coffee? The way it stains things. Like coffee cups. Or teeth. Staining things is scary to me. But not staining. Although maybe staining.

When is the last time I had coffee? Don't ask me that! My dirty little secret this week is that I'm not a coffee drinker. I get my caffeine from beets. You heard me! I eat beets for their caffeine! What? Beets have no caffeine? Foiled again!

I must go. I leave you with: death by caffeine!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Eyes On The Side Of My Head

My shortest blog entry ever:

My show on Friday was my SXSW show. It's available for downloading & listening to

Do it. Do it now.