Saturday, January 02, 2010

A New Year! A New Decade! Same Old Self Help Radio!

Teams of experts paid untold amounts of money taken surreptitiously from your pocketbooks & wallets worked "around the clock" (actually, during regular business hours with a liberal amount of smoke breaks) to determine what you, the Self Help Radio listener, would like to hear on Self Help Radio in the year of 2010 (which, as you probably know, is supposed to be pronounced "twenty-ten" not "two thousand ten" because someone said so & gave some specific reasons for it) (although the monkeys in the office are very fond of "two oh ten"). Extensive surveys were taken, phones were tapped, the pulses of America & certain parts of the world where it was considered safe were taken, many other things were done in the passive voice, to gather copious amounts of data to put in shiny new computers with embarrassingly large hard drives strangely filled after only a few days with lots of porn & illegally downloaded mp3s (although, to be fair, the porn was probably also illegally downloaded), & that data over too many to count long liquid lunches, brunches, & afternoon teas was analyzed, categorized, amortized, plagiarized, simonized, looked straight in the eyes, checked, double-checked, triple-checked with a cherry on top, & sent out to get some more booze because stocks were dwindling.

Self Help Radio is proud to announce that the data showed one particular insight that can't be ignored: no one's really listening to Self Help Radio!

So the show will continue on the same way it has since its inception. Since no one will mind.

Happy new year!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Last Thing I'll Say All Year

It's true, I won't write in this blog again until it's a new decade. Or will it be? I forget who gets to decide that.

However, you may enjoy this week's Self Help Radio along with this week's Sugar Substitute which contain three hours of indiepop music because they continue my "indiepop a to z" project which is still at letter "e" & will never make it to Sesame Street now. The shows are available at & are waiting patiently for you to play them at your New Year's Eve party. I would rather you invite me. But if you just want my radio show, I totally understand.

Please have a safe & happy New Year & don't be a weirdo & get yourself hurt. That would make me angry. & I look stupid when I'm angry.

Thanks for reading & listening in 2009! See you next year!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Friends In Town A-Visitin' there's no time to write anything in this blog that no one reads. Still, I feel obliged to say:

1PM on 88.1 fm WMUL!

followed by
2:30PM on 88.1 fm WMUL!

both shows CONTINUE the INDIEPOP A TO Z!
(we're in the E's!)



Monday, December 28, 2009

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 23?

Yeah, yeah, more indiepop - three hours of it in fact - as Self Help Radio starts & Sugar Substitute continues the countup of indiepop bands/musicians with the letter 'e' starting their names (in the case of musicians, their last names) (I should have been a librarian).

But look! A decade review that I can wrap my head around! Hooray!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 23: The Top Ten Decades Of The Decade!

Even though the Self Help Radio shall for all intents & purposes continue its doomed-to-failure-&-irrelevancy indiepop countup/countdown this week, it also intends to jump onto the end-of-the-decade bandwagon by announcing as many end-of-the-decade lists as it can possibly stuff down everyone's throats without really having to really think about it, much as in every other end-of-the-decade list out there. Here are some of the lists the Self Help Radio shall explore in the coming last few days of the year:

• The Top Ten Whoopsy-Daisies! of the 2000s!
• Ten Trends In Trend Forecasting Of The Last Ten Trendy Years!
• Top Forty Or So Times You Were Fucked Six Ways To Sunday By Your Government &/Or Its Corporate Masters Since 2000!
• Celebrity Zombies - How They Outpaced Celebrity Lycanthropes in the 2000s!
• The Most Shameful Acts Of Ignominy & Chagrin Each Embarrassing Year From The Mortifications Of 2000 To The Indignities Of 2009!
• The Dead Gods Of The 2000s!
• The 21st Century: Ninety More Years Of This Shit?!
• Who Hit What & How (But Never Where Or Why) In The 00s!
• Fifteen Strange Things Tom Selleck Did Or Had Done To Him This Century!
• Tackle A Pope, Throw A Shoe At A Dickwad: A Small Guide To Successfully Assaulting World Leaders From This Decade!
• Was This The Decade Of The Self Help Radio? Of Course Not!
• Cover Me! I'm Going In! To Take Pictures Of Celebrity Corpses & The Women Who Love Them!
• You Gained Weight This Decade! So Did We!
• Hush Hush! The Thirty-Seven Secret Stories Of The 00s Which Were Completely Missed By Conspiracy Theorists Because They Are Actually Plausible!
• They Didn't Die: A Comprehensive List Of People You Thought Died Sometime Between 2000 & Now, With Pictures Of Them Holding Recent Newspapers To Prove It, & Angry Emails From Them To You Because They Find The Whole Thing Rather Insulting!
• Pain Pain Sadness Pain: Ten Years Of Unsettling Memories!
• Can It Get Any Worse? A Special Prognostication!
• & Probably A Lot More Because We Want To Make A Lot Of Annoying Lists!

Do join us as we say goodbye to another decade arbitrarily cut-up & assigned a meaning which we'll have to live with the rest of our days. The nostalgia is just being born!