Self Help Radio 030718: Health

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As I write this, I am surrounded by cats.  It's near breakfast time, you see.  Most of them are in good health, although each of them has their own issues.  One has asthma, another has diabetes, yet another has urinary tract issues, you know how it is.  My cats are a microcosm of the health problems of the average American family.

& yet, despite the massive amount of health coverage on this week's show, feline health was given short shrift.  You'd think, as the owner of four cats, I might be inclined to weigh in on the issues that affect the wellness of kittens, but let's be frank here: they could not care any less about my own health.  Not one of them ever says, "Hey, dad, maybe that's enough whiskey for tonight."  Or "Hey, papa, do you really need all ten of those cookies?"  Or, "Yo pops, I know we lie around all day & make it look good, but you could really use some exercise."  Nope.  Not a single damned word from them.  Until it's time to eat, like now.  Then they're all up in my grill.

In any event, there's so much more health covered on this week's show that you'll not miss any discussion or discursion about feline health or canine health or cephalopod health or whatever.  It also won't affect your healthcare plan, if you're lucky enough to have one.  You're covered, for this show at least.  Nothing out of pocket.  But I can't write scrips.  Sorry.

Listen now at Self Help Radio dot net.  You must use a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to access the show.  These are available on the page as well.  The show is two hours long, & divided into two parts.  What songs are played in each part, plus what guests might be interviewed, are listed below.

If I were as cool as Stephen "Colbert Report" Colbert, I'd say, "I'll see you in health!"  But even he isn't that cool anymore.

(part one)

"Ich Bin Rund & Gesund" Illo Schieder _Ich Bin Rund & Gesund_
"Little Fine Healthy Thing" Billy "The Kid" Emerson _Red Hot: The Sun Years, Plus_
"National Health" The Kinks _Low Budget_

"As Long As You've Got Your Health (with The Merry Macs)" Ray Noble & His Orchestra _Brother, Can You Spare a Dime? Songs Of The Depression 1929–1937_
"Healthier Folk" Palehound _Dry Food_
"My Healthcare Plan" Hari Kondabolu _Waiting For 2042_
"Technicolor Health" Harlem Shakes _Technicolor Health_
"Health Place" Happy Supply _Happy Supply_

interview with alternative health provider Moggsy Boggs

"Happy Carrot Health Food Store" Sonny & The Sunsets _Talent Night At The Ashram_
"Case Study: Copeland's Down Home Health Stop" Superego _Superego Season 3, Episode 9_
"Healthclubs Hypocrisy" The Through Comers _Teeny Poppers_
"Health Food Nut" Bob Dorough & Dave Frishberg _Who's On First?_

"Swim For Health" Ballboy _Club Anthems_

(part two)

"Health Man No. 1" Congress Of Wonders _Sophomoric_
"Young & Healthy" Bing Crosby with Guy Lombardo & His Orchestra _The Crooner: The Columbia Years 1928-1934_
"Health & Happiness" Dalek I Love You _Dalek I Love You_

interview with "the healthiest man in America" David Fruchter

"Health Man No. 2" Congress Of Wonders _Sophomoric_
"Health & Knowledge & Wealth & Power" Shriekback _Oil & Gold_
"You're Not Very Well" The Charlatans _Some Friendly_
"Mental Health Hotline (CJ Bollands Mix)" Black Dog & Black Sifichi _Genetically Modified_

interview with medical student Bingham Killkid

"Health Man No. 3" Congress Of Wonders _Sophomoric_
"Picture Of Health" We Were Promised Jetpacks _In The Pit Of The Stomach_
"Its Health & My Own" Wild Moccasins _Skin Collision Past_
"Health Clubs" Lewis Black _Rules Of Enragement_

"Dancing For Mental Health" Will Powers _Dancing For Mental Health_

Whither Health?

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Tonight's Self Help Radio is not a health class.  I'm sorry.  It's just a show about health.  & it won't help you feel more healthy or anything like that.

The inspiration for the show is the show that comes on before Self Help Radio every week, called Healthy Times.  I listen to it before my show, & eventually I thought, hey!  I should do a show about health!  & so I will.

It won't be nearly as fun as one of my favorite segments from the Colbert Report (a show I miss terribly), "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert DFA."  I think this segment here is the first one they ever did, & he hadn't yet mastered his closing phrase, which always, always made me laugh: "I'll see you in health!"

But there will be some fun, so tune in tonight from 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at the Lexington Community Radio web page.  It counts as one of the two required doctor's visits you need to have this year.  Just let me know if you a prescription or something.

Preface To Health: Blood Counts

At some point in time, in my forties, I started going to the doctor every six months for a check-up.  It seemed like the right thing to do & it made me pay more attention to myself.  Two of my siblings & my mother had diabetes, the others were not terribly healthy, who the fuck knows what genetic bullshit was waiting to be unleashed on me?  So I went to the doctor, usually a nurse practitioner in Lexington, & they told me to lose weight & I made sure the stuff they could find out from my blood was within normal parameters.

What I discovered over the years is that I am a little anemic - it's one of the hazards of being vegan, although I eat a shit ton of beans & leafy vegetables.  It's cool, I can dig it.

Living in Kentucky, with its seasons, caused me to have a vitamin D deficiency.  I'm told this is on the rise.  Even though I'm outside walking my dogs for almost two hours a day, my body doesn't seem to want to absorb it.  I did grow considerably paler there.

So I take iron pills & vitamin D pills.  Plus others.  I think I double up on the vitamin Bs, since that's also a traditional vegan lack.  Plus my wife makes me take glucosamine, even though I'm not sure the science is in on that.  But I give it to my dogs, why shouldn't I take it too?  Though it'd be better in something like a tofu chew.  Mmm, tofu chew.

In case you're wondering if the guy about to do a show about health is in fact in good health.  I mean, it's not like I'm in bad health.  I could stand to lose a few pounds.  I could exercise more, bring up the good cholesterol.  I could cut back on the whiskey.

But I am paying attention!  I suspect I will need to do more & more of this as I age.

Never Punished For Procrastination

This is true.  I am a procrastinator of the highest order.  For example, I should have written this in the blog much earlier today.  I am actually right now working on tomorrow's Tuesday Morning Blend but am procrastinating by writing here.  It's a sickness, man.

The thing is, I was never really ever punished for my procrastination.  I always managed, with a little difficulty, to get things done at the very last minute.  I would cram for tests while walking to the classroom - & do just fine.  I would write papers in college - by hand - an hour before class.  I got decent grades.  & tonight, I should finish up & get a decent night's sleep because I have a radio show at seven a.m.  But will I?  Heck no!  I'm still listening to stuff I may play!  I'll get four hours tops!

This is my fiftieth year.  I am getting a little forgetful now.  Here are two words I couldn't immediately bring to mind recently: hypothetical &...  Well, I've now forgotten the other one.  It's on the tip of my tongue.  I can't remember it though.

But if you want to hear me recite the lyrics to "Tangled Up In Blue" - both the Blood On The Tracks & The Bootleg Series versions - & even compare & contrast - I can still do that.  Most of the time.

In fact, let's do that now!  I don't need to finish this blog for another three hours or so.  & then, even if it's Tuesday, I can just change the date.  It lets you do that!  Isn't that cool?  Early one mornin' the sun was shinin', I was lyin' in bed...

Oh man.  The punishment for procrastination is coming, I can feel it.  But.  I hope I can put it off a little longer.

The Night Before

This photo was just put up on the Self Help Radio Tumblr site, which has nothing to do really with the show but instead is a place where I put up random photos I take while I wander around my otherwise uninteresting life.  I know that's what Instagram is for, but after the Twitter account, I decided that I wasn't terribly interested in another social media site that I had to pay attention to.  (Don't even get me started on whatever Vero is.)

Anyway, I spoke about my dead departed boy Ringo on this blog before, but I only recently revisited the photos I took of him before he died.  The picture above has a story that is memorable to me.

The night before Ringo died, I stayed up late, I couldn't sleep, I worried about him, I knew his end was near, I was out of sorts.  It took all my power not to just lie on the floor with him & wake him up with my sobbing.  But at some point - probably around 3am - I knew I had to get to sleep, so I turned my computer off, made sure all the doors were locked & the lights were out, & I went to bed.

We have motion detector lights in our backyard & after I brushed my teeth I noticed they were on.  I panicked for a moment & thought I had left a dog outside.  Pauline, for example, would probably sleep outside if we let her, especially if other animals made their way into the yard to play with her or be chased by her.

When I glanced out the bedroom window, I saw this pair above foraging for pecans amid the leaves.  I had never seen raccoons in our yard before.  I snapped pictures & stared & at one point, one of them saw me, realized I was no threat, & went back to looking for something to eat.  Eventually they wandered off & the light went out & I didn't want to bother them so I got into bed.

Of course, I was still unable to sleep, so I tried to tire myself out by reading about raccoons.