Saturday, May 22, 2021

Had Thought

When I was out & about in my old stomping grounds in Garland today, I took some pictures of places I used to live as they look now.  I figure I will share them in weeks to come.  Bonus!  Because my sister found my actual birth certificate, I know the house my family was living in when I was born.  I will share that too.

Basically I've spent the weekend driving.  So I wrote this on Facebook just now:

On my return to the metroplex I find myself constantly lost, constantly doubting the GPS, frustrated that any muscle memory I had about places is gone, gone, gone. & I can't believe I forgot that everyone in DFW drives like they're in that Harlan Ellison story "Along The Scenic Route," just competing in a mad race in which there can't really be any winners. Just turning your blinker on to signal a lane change triggers sudden acceleration from the car in the lane you need to move into. By contrast, the speediest car in Portland will slow down when they see your blinker. It's no wonder I saw three different accidents today. I really just didn't remember how much time I spent on the (truly quite dangerous) road here. I'm so glad that's not the case any longer.

Also, the fact that so many people aren't wearing masks in stores & what-not is shit-yourself terrifying.

Friday, May 21, 2021

Had Planned

Had planned to write something pithy about my return to Dallas (for the last time?) but haven't slept & couldn't really find very good food to eat so am very tired so am falling asleep so early - even early by Portland time! Maybe pith tomorrow? Hopeful.

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Self Help Radio 051821: Stones

(Original image here*)

This week, Self Help Radio was stoned.  That doesn't sound right.  But it's not untrue.  An entire show about stones!  & nary a geologist - or should we say petrologist - in sight!

There were in fact way too many songs about stones - you might say they were as numerous as stones on a beach - or stones anywhere - there are lots of stones in the world - to fit into three hours, & almost certainly your favorite song about stones isn't on the show, but as a kind of soup stone, we flavored the show with interviews - with an expert in spiritual stones, a Hollywood stoner, & a therapist who uses a method called "sticks & stones" - so perhaps you wouldn't miss what we so obviously missed.

Listen to the show at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  It's the same show in two different places!  Someone should inform the authorities.  The list of songs played is below, as are brief mentions of things that happened in-between.

Three hours of stones might well leave you stoned.  What kind of stoned, well.  That's up to you.

Self Help Radio Stones Show
"Stones" Little Fevers _Field Trip_
"Broken Stones" Paul Weller _Stanley Road_
"Stone" New Young Pony Club _The Optimist_

introduction & definitions

"Blood Outta Stone" The Fall _A World Bewitched: Best Of 1990-2000_
"Blood From A Stone (Remix)" The Heart Throbs _Cleopatra Grip_
"The Stone Age" Eddie Izzard _Stripped_
"Two Stones In My Pocket" Neil Halstead _Sleeping On Roads_
"Gravestones" Monkey Swallows The Universe _The Casket Letters_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Sacred Stones" Shiela Chandra _Weaving My Ancestors' Voices_
"Stonehenge" Poison Girls _Statement_
"Stone Circles & You" Julian Cope _20 Mothers_
"Stones For Avalon" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Unicorn_
"Rosetta Stone" Throwing Muses _Red Heaven_

interview with Hollywood stoner Matthew

"Let's Go Get Stoned" Ray Charles _Genius & Soul: The 50th Anniversary Collection_
"And It Stoned Me" Van Morrison _Moondance_
"I Got Stoned & I Missed It" Shel Silverstein _Freakin' At The Freakers Ball_
"Alone & Stoned" King Tuff _King Tuff_
"Stoned" Widowspeak _All Yours_

interview with therapist Dr. Caspar Klink

"Sticks & Stones" Wanda Jackson _Wanda Rocks_
"Sticks & Stones" The Rock Flowers _Naturally_
"Sticks & Stones" Cud _Showbiz_
"Sticks & Stones" The Divine Comedy _Absent Friends_
"Sticks & Stones" Catnaps _Why Don't You Whisper?_

another installment of Dramatic Readings Of Classic Rock Songs

"Heart Of Stone" Derrick & Naomi _Derrick Morgan: Moon Hop (Best Of The Early Years 1960-69)_
"Heart Of Stone" The Mekons _So Good It Hurts_
"Heart Of Stone" The Wolfgang Press _The Legendary Wolfgang Press & Other Tall Stories_
"This Heart's Not Made Of Stone" Television Personalities _Closer To God_
"This Heart Is A Stone" Acid House Kings _Sing Along With Acid House Kings_
"Heart Of Stone" The Raveonettes _In & Out Of Control_


"Rollin' Stone" Muddy Waters _Rollin' Stone: The Golden Anniversary Collection_
"Daddy Rollin' Stone" Otis Blackwell _1953 - 1955_
"Rollin' Stone" The Marigolds _Night Train To Nashville: Music City Rhythm & Blues, 1945-1970_
"Rockin' Rollin' Stone" Andy Starr _Classic Rockabilly_
"Like A Rolling Stone" Phil Flowers _Like A Rolling Stone_
"Papa Was A Rolling Stone" The Pioneers _Funky Kingston: Reggae Dancefloor Grooves 1968-74_

conclusion & goodbye

"Only The Stones Remain" The Soft Boys _Underwater Moonlight_
"Baby Stones" Robert Forster _Danger In The Past_
"Throwing Stones" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"Elephant Stone" The Stone Roses _The Stone Roses_
"Old Stone Bridge" Emily _Irony EP_
"Sticks & Stones" Thee Headcoatees _Punk Girls_

*"Stones" by rkramer62 is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Monday, May 17, 2021

Whither Stones?

(image from here.)

The idea for a show about stones came inadvertently from my wife.  While it's true that she's a stoner - I once mentioned that on the radio & some people were shocked I "outed" her in this way, not realizing that no one who knows her ever listens to me on the air - that's not the inspiration.  No, it's because of her garden envy.  Something I once wrote some haiku about on this very blog.

People in Portland take their gardens very seriously, & in turn my wife fumes with jealousy when someone's garden is growing things better or looks prettier than hers (so, always - a green thumb she has not).  Garden envy easily spills over into landscaping envy, & as Portlanders embrace the spring, so too they take the time to touch up their yards, gardens, their outside spaces.

This spring I have heard about nothing but stones.  Should we get paving stones for the pathway in the front yard?  We need to clean the stones in the front - can you help?  Our next door neighbor Molly is buying some stones - should I go in on it?  Can you move the car - we're having stones delivered!

It seems pretty obvious why I would have stones on my mind.

Sometimes people buy more stones than they need.  & they have a pile of stones in front of their house with a sign on it that says "free."  Sometimes we pass those on dogwalks.  The conversation after that is generally, should I go get some of those free stones?  Why it may seem there was a debate involved, especially given the amount of time deliberations happen, the answer is always, yes.  As I write this, there are buckets of stones in our car.

This is perhaps too much information but if you wanted to know why tonight, from midnight to 3am, on 90.7fm KBOO & online at, Self Help Radio is about stones, well, now you know.

Sunday, May 16, 2021

Preface To Stones: Too Many Stones

The picture above is from this article which has, as its thesis statement, "people are stacking too many stones."  Apparently this is happening in national parks to some detriment, but I didn't read the article.  I've never stacked stones in my life.  I'm not sure what the pleasure might be in stacking stones.  But it is possible a plague of some kind?

The picture spoke to me however because the reason for doing this show, which I will get to tomorrow, didn't prepare me for the sheer number of songs about stones.  I have been listening to stone songs since last Tuesday & I don't feel I actually got a chance to listen to all of them.  At some point decisions have to be made to start work on the show.  So some stone songs got short shrift.

The thing is, I try to avoid this.  I try to avoid too-general songs because I simply don't have the time to listen to all the songs.  & I don't always just want to play songs I'm overly familiar with - I want the show to be about discovery for me - or re-discovery, often, of musicians or albums I liked enough to purchase but haven't spent the proper amount of time with.  That becomes very hard to do when there are over four hundred songs you've tagged that you want to listen to for possible inclusion in the show.

This week, I am being accused of stone stacking.  Stacking stone songs end to end all over the place.  It's a stony musical mess.  I am trying to clean it up, though, which is more than I can say for the stone-stackers at National Parks.  Stop stacking stones!