Saturday, January 07, 2023

Bolan's Meows

Here at SHR HQ I continue to be sad about our recent loss. The complete horror of peripheral vision means I see my lovely old black cat regularly out of the corner of my eye, & the deceptive shadows make me see him in the places he frequented.

Thinking about the old man, I remembered a recording of him.  At this point, I'm not sure what I can legally tell you about a project that began back in Lexington.  But what I can say is:

The head of a business had been listening to my radio show. He asked if there were some way I could contribute to his company. We settled on this odd idea that, should someone call the company & be put on hold, they'd hear weirdo recordings that I had made.

Thinking about that noisy cat, I remembered that Bolan's very insistent meows made an appearance.  I have uploaded that spot (with the company's name edited out, since I am not sure about my legal situation here) which, it makes me happy to admit, people calling the company, & put on hold, would have heard.  I know this because after I moved to Texas, a former RFL person wrote to me & said, "I was on hold with the company for some time & had to listen to your nonsense!"

Please click here to listen to the spot which prominently features Bolan.

The original recording of my sweet old cat was probably five minutes long, but I obviously truncated it for the bit. I don't have a specific memory of how it came about but I expect he was moving around my legs, trying to get me to feed him or pay attention to him, & I held the phone recording him as he did.

He is so greatly missed.  I wish I were doing better but I am not.

Friday, January 06, 2023


Hey beautiful black cat. I guess it's time to say goodbye to you. I hope you had a fantastic life. I know my life is all the more fantastic because you were in it.

I wasn't there to meet you that summer's day in 2006 when your mother called & told me "I found a black kitten with no whiskers!"  You were at the vet clinic & the vets knew that she had wanted a black kitten & also that she studied whiskers.  She said, "Can we adopt him?" & I never could say no to her.  She introduced us when she picked me up at work.

You joined a household with two other cats & two dogs.  You were such a bundle of energy that we honestly didn't quite know what to do with you. I decided to name you "Bolan" because it seemed like you were born to boogie.

Fortunately you did have a cat to teach you how to cat - your brother Buster.

But we always did say you were as cool as you were because you were raised by dogs.  Lazy beagle dogs.

Not that I didn't adore you, but I knew you were your mother's cat. She picked you, after all. She loved you & you reciprocated. It was cute & sickening.

You were so busy growing up that you probably didn't notice how much fun you were to have around. Certainly it was an adventure - you would spend the nights killing the giant cockroaches that wandered into our house & leaving their crunchy carcasses for me to step on - barefoot - in the mornings.  Magda wanted a small cat but you got big - at your tubbiest you weighed 23 pounds!  But you were mainly a cuddler - you even cuddled with your sister Beatrice, who didn't generally like to be cuddled.

& though you would spend the entire drive meowing non-stop, you traveled with us from Austin to West Virginia.  & there, in August of 2009, the best thing in the world that could have ever happened to you happened to you.  We adopted Bronte.  The two of you lived a love story from the moment she came into your life.

You two were inseparable. You'd groom each other & it would look like you were making out.

Even when you'd sit together, it would seem like you were holding hands.  It was cute & sickening.

Not to say you didn't also love your little brother Boone!  You made him feel very welcome in our home.

Meowing non-stop in the back of the car, you traveled to Kentucky with us, then back to Texas, then here to Portland.  I do think you liked it here.  Almost certainly you never wanted for love. You demanded it & you got it.

When Bronte took ill, you gave her the space she needed, & when she left us, you spent more time with me.  The last year & a half were quite wonderful for me - we became such good friends. You were such a loud cat, you'd meow when I came to bed, & purr next to me as I fell asleep petting you. A handsome boy, so friendly to visitors & such an unmistakably warm presence in our household.

You had a lot of health issues - I've mentioned them on this blog before (that blog entry links to other Bolan stories) - issues including a bout with triaditis that almost took you from us two years ago.  You were so strong, though, so resilient, that I foolishly imagined you could beat almost anything.

Maybe at some point I'll talk about this last month, about the arrogant vets who were dismissive about our concerns, about the emergency room visit this past week where we had to accept your fate, about how I will always feel like I didn't do enough to save you.  What is true now is that you're no longer in any pain.  Oh you would've stayed with us longer, to be sure, but we knew, because you weren't eating & holy shit did you love to eat, that you were not well.  So my sweet friend we needed to let you go.

Let's imagine for a moment the universe is kind & let's be glad you're with your beloved Bronte again.  Maybe say hi to Buster & Beatrice too, & the beagles - George, Ringo, & of course Winston, with whom you also liked to hang out.

It's not a kind universe or course & it's not fair that the two of you died exactly six weeks apart.  Our little house is so empty & it has taken me hours to write all this.  I have been getting lost in all the pictures I have of you - how glad I am we had so many pictures! - & it's not easy to write about you through all the tears.

But Bolan, some of those tears are tears of gratitude.  What a fine cat you were.  A gentle panther, a good & faithful friend. Your absence won't be easily filled. You were exceptional in every way. My dear old Bobo. Goodbye.

Tuesday, January 03, 2023

Self Help Radio 010323: The Dawn

The dawn of a new year brought a show about the dawn on Self Help Radio.  It's almost all music because I was not able to get up to KBOO to do the show.  (I talked about that yesterday.)  I'm sure that's fine with you.

The show was not streamed on the KBOO website so the only place to listen to it is at Self Help Radio dot net.  The cool thing is you can download the show if you want.  Just remember that you'll need a username & password to do so - those are SHR & selfhelp.  Hopefully we'll return to our usual shenanigans next week.

Happy new year!

Self Help Radio Dawn Show
"The Dawn" Iggy Pop _Free_
"Dawn Is Here" Dinner _Three EPs, 2012-2014_
"Dawn" George Gallagher + White Trash _The Rubble Collection 7_
"Dawn Breaks Through" The Barrier _Looking At The Pictures In The Sky (The British Psychedelic Sounds Of 1968)_
"(Dawning Of A) New Era" The Specials _The Specials_

"The Pre-Dawn Light" Jordan Reyes _Sand Like Stardust_
"Lawns Of Dawns" Nico _The Marble Index_
"Dawn" Slapp Happy _Casablanca Moon/Desperate Straights_
"Morning Dawning" The Creatures _Feast_
"Circumradiant Dawn" Dead Can Dance _Spleen & Ideal_

"New Dawn Fades" Joy Division _Unknown Pleasures_
"Sketch For Dawn I" The Durutti Column _LC_
"The Beginning, The Dawn (Piccadilly Radio Session, February 1981)" The Passage _Pindrop_
"Dawn Chorus" Modern English _After The Snow_
"New Day Dawning" Felt _Me & A Monkey On The Moon_

"Another Sunset, Another Dawn" Axe Music _Crystalline_
"Sunset Dawn" Spirea X _Fireblade Skies_
"The Dawn" Pet Sun _Pet Sun_
"New Dawn" Moon Duo _Occult Architecture Vol. 2_
"New Dawn" The Lovely Eggs _I Am Moron_

"Fist Heart Mighty Dawn Dart" Tyrannosaurus Rex _A Beard Of Stars_
"Kiss At Dawn" Nikki Sudden & The Jacobites _Dead Men Tell No Tales_
"Fingers Of Dawn" The Bats _Free All The Monsters_
"Hour Of The Dawn" La Sera _Hour Of The Dawn_
"Gone By The Dawn" Shannon & The Clams _Gone By The Dawn_

"Dead By Dawn" Depth Charge _Nine Deadly Venoms_
"Break Of Dawn" Karsh Kale _Liberation_ (Six Degrees, 2003)
"Future Calls The Dawn" Felix Da Housecat _Virgo, Blaktro, & The Movie Disco_
"Red Dawn Rising" Birdy Nam Nam _Manual For Successful Rioting_
"Blue Dawn" Big Pauper _Beyond My Means_

"Dust At Dawn" Roger Eno _Between Tides_
"Soft Dawn" Brian Eno _Textures_
"The Golden Dawn" Soma _The Inner Cinema_
"Dawn Chorus" Boards Of Canada _Geogaddi_
"Aurore" Marsen Jules _Herbstlaub_

"Dawn" The Ornette Coleman Trio _At The "Golden Circle" Stockholm - Volume One_
"Dawn" Terje Rypdal _Odyssey In Studio & In Concert_

Monday, January 02, 2023

Whither The Dawn?

(Mt Hood at dawn. Image from here.)

Gosh, I thought I was being smart - the first show of the year will have the theme "the dawn"! As in, the dawn of a new year! I actually hardly ever think that way - except for shows that are planned around holidays (& episodes of the Dickenbock Report), my themes are usually random. One person at KOOP who peer-reviewed my show wrote, "I don't understand why he's doing a show about this!" But I hope you can see how liberating it is to do it the way I do.

However. The best laid plans. Last week, KBOO (along with my other radio stations) had a power failure due to high winds. Unlike the other stations, KBOO's resulted in some catastrophe at the station about which I know very little. We were off the air for a couple of days, & are still not streaming. The web site tells us, "We’re back on air through a temporary broadcasting system. We still have a major power issue at the station. Thank you so much for your patience & support."

Which means I'm not going up to the station tonight for Self Help Radio but had to hastily cobble together & record a show from home. So - if I turned it in on time! - there will be a recorded Self Help Radio tonight from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm. Alas, not on the stream. I'll be home & listening & live tweeting. It's the dawn of the year - I hope it doesn't stay as dark out!

Sunday, January 01, 2023

Preface To Dawn: Happy New Year!

(Not that Dawn - image from here)

Wow, I thought I was being kinda sneaky funny posting a picture of a famous Dawn for a show that's going to be about a time of day.  Then I read that she died because of the coronavirus, & that's something I don't think I knew - she died almost two years ago, at the end of 2020.  So now I'm depressed.

& is that how 2023 is going to be?  Trying to do something vaguely clever or whimsical, only to have it remind you of the true horrors of existence?  Oh I hope not.

Anyway, the show tomorrow night will be recorded for reasons I can explain later.  & it's not going to be quite like a regular Self Help Radio episode either.  I will talk about it tomorrow.  I just wanted to say Happy New Year!  It was a nice day in Portland.  I hope that's a good omen.

& I hope you had a good day!