Cradle To Grave, Episode Twenty-Two

This is a post-mortem.

Normally I post a recording of the radio show I do on Fridays, Cradle To Grave, on the Self Help Radio website on Saturdays.  I don't expect anyone will listen, but it's part of my ritual.  I put SHR up on Wednesdays, CTG on Saturdays.

But there's no recording of the show on the website right now.  That's because I only did half the show.  If you listened, you'd know why.

When I do my radio shows, I usually bring up CDs.  I have stuff on vinyl, but I usually digitize it before I bring it up.  What that means is that some of the CDs I have are home-burned.  I buy mp3s, I download stuff, etc.  & you know what?  Some CD players don't like home-burned CDs.

During the show, in the last quarter-hour, one CD player started skipping during on song.  I interrupted, I played another song - hey, I have more than enough stuff for the rest of the show, I have birthdays & deathdays I don't get to.  But when I used the CD player again, it skipped again, with a different CD.

Okay.  This CD player - which worked fine for me the last two shows I did - in the same room! - was rejecting now my burned CDs.  I thought about doing a total John Peel & trying to do the show entirely from one player - I'd have to talk while I was changing out CDs.  But then!  The second CD player started skipping.  It was the end of the hour.  I decided not to suffer through an entire hour with the uncertainty of the CD players rejecting my CDs.

At WRFL, I would have had a backup - I bring stuff on a flash drive - but I don't know if I can play songs at LXU from the computer that has the automation on it.  So I just said "uncle."  I apologize for that.

Here's what the second hour would have looked like:

"Piccolo Pete (Parker Gibbs, vocals)" Ted Weems & His Orchestra _Marvellous!_ (ASV)
"Happy Days Are Here Again (vocals by The Rollickers)" Ben Selvin & His Orchestra _Sony Music 100 Years: Soundtrack For A Century_
"Don't Let The Rhythm Go To Your Head (Let The Rhythm Go To Your Feet) (Chu Berry, vocals)" Fletcher Henderson & His Orchestra _Fletcher Henderson & His Orchestra_
"Waterworks" Kai Winding Sextet _Early Bones_
"Mountain Greenery" Barney Kessel _Music To Listen To Barney Kessel By_

Death commemorated here were Ted Weems, songwriter Milton Ager, saxophonist Franz Jackson, Kai Winding, & Barney Kessel.

"Lili Marlene" Marlene Dietrich _Marlene Dietrich_ (Habana)
Venus" Dickie Valentine _The Joe Meek Story, Vol. 5: The Early Years_
"I'll Be Home" Flamingos _The Complete Chess Masters_
"Daddy Rollin' Stone" Otis Blackwell _Chicken Shack Boogie, Vol. 3_
"Sweetback" Viola Wills _Sister Funk_

Death commemorated this set were Marlene Dietrich, Dickie Valentine, Paul Wilson of the Flamingos, Otis Blackwell, & Viola Wills.

"The Road Is So Long" Carey & Lurrie Bell _Second Nature_
"Can I Get A Witness" The Steampacket _The In Crowd: UK Mod R&B-Beat, 1964-1967_
"Blowin' In The Wind" Stevie Wonder _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 6: 1966_
"Emma" Hot Chocolate _Super Hits Of The 70s: Have A Nice Day, Vol. 14_

Deaths commemorated here were Carey Bell, Mickey Waller of the Steampacket, Clarence Paul singing with Stevie Wonder, & Errol Brown of Hot Chocolate.

The last song I was going to play was in remembrance of one of my heroes, Grant McClennan, who died ten years ago, May 6, 2006.  I would've played "Cattle & Cane" by the Go-Betweens.

Next week I'm out of town but I don't know what I'm going to do in two weeks.  I have resisted bringing up a laptop - that has its own problems.  Right now I'm going to concentrate on the next Self Help Radio.  Otherwise I'm get frustrated all over again.

Self Help Radio 050316: Bees

(Original image here.)

Since I've started inviting my funny friends on my show, I've had not-so-much time to occasionally be serious about things that matter to me, & one of those thing is of course the decline of the bee population.  There isn't quite a consensus about the cause - some say climate change, some say pesticides, & there are other theories.  What seems clear is that humans are responsible in a very clear way, & that's sad indeed.

Since I couldn't say this on the show - no time! - I have said it here.  Sometimes dumb radio programs are where people find out important things.  However dumb the show was, though, I hope it was entertaining where it couldn't be thought-provoking.

You can listen now at the Self Help Radio website.  Pay attention to the password stuff, it's on the front page.  I played a bunch of songs, they're listed below, in the section of the show where you can find them.

Here's hoping you enjoy!

(part one)

"Why Does A Bee Buzz?" Marais & Miranda _More Nature Songs_
"Busy Bee Boogie" Hal Serra & Carol Marks _Animal Hootenanny_
"Buzz Buzz Buzz" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _Back In Your Life_
"New Bumble Bee" Memphis Minnie _Queen Of The Country Blues: All The Published Sides 1929-1937_

"Flight Of The Bumble Bee" Harry James & His Orchestra _Swingin' The Classics_
"Queen Bee" John Lee Hooker _The Classic Early Years 1948-1951_
"Bee Sting Stings" Tullycraft _City Of Subarus_
"Humble Bee" John Wesley Harding _The Confessions Of St. Ace_

"Happy Yellow Bumblebee" Of Montreal _The Bedside Drama: A Petite Tragedy_
"Honeybee" Girlfriendo _One_
"Like A Honey Bee (Honey Bee)" The Carousel _abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz_
"A Sleepin' Bee (from House Of Flowers)" Diahann Carroll _American Musical Theatre: Shows, Songs, & Stars, Vol. 3_

"Beehive" Boss Hog _Boss Hog_
"Taster Of The Honey (Not The Keeper Of The Bee)" The Jones Girls _The Music Merchant Story_

(part two)

"Beestung" Kristin Hersh _Hips & Makers_
"The Bees (The Bees)" His Name Is Alive _Stars On ESP_
"Honey Bee" Johnny Johnson & The Bandwagon _The Golden Torch Story (A Collection Of 18 Classic Northern Soul Shakers)_

"Honey Bee" Jon & Robin _Elastic Event_
"The L.S. Bumble Bee" Peter Cook & Dudley Moore _We Can Fly, Vol. 1_
"Beeswing" Richard Thompson _Mirror Blue_

"Ohio Town Saved From Killer Bees by Hungry Vampire Bats" Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo _Strange But True_
"I'll Be The Bee" Ruth & Al _Crescent City Soul: The Sound Of New Orleans 1947-1974_
"Tumble Bee" Karl Blau _Shell Collection_
"See Sea, Bee, & Me" Guitar _Sunkissed_

"Muscle Belt" Bearsuit _Muscle Belt_
"Leisure Bees" Tacocat _Lost Time_

Whither Bees?

(This image is from the Wikipedia bee page.)

This is a bit embarrassing - I am not entirely sure why I am doing a show about bees.  Sometimes someone will call the show & suggest a theme, & occasionally someone will email & ask for us to explore a theme, but more often than not, it's just some dumb observation I make that leads to a theme.  Although I am noticing some memory slippage as time goes by, & my drinking probably destroys more brain cells than television, I cannot for the life of me remember why I thought about doing a show about bees.

Don't get me wrong - they're super cool animals.  There are a bunch of songs about "the birds & the bees," the old euphemism parents once used to cover the embarrassment of talking to their children about human sexuality, but I avoided those songs for this show, since they're not really about bees themselves.  What those songs reminded me of was the sixth grade - when our science class covered actual birds & bees.  I remember my twelve-year-old self wondering if this was what was meant by "the birds & the bees."  Or if I should be digging deeper?

Look at that!  I can remember impressions I made when I was a child, but I can't think about what might have happened in the last few weeks that said to me, "Hey! Do a radio show about bees!"

Oh well.  All I know is that there are great songs, I have good, funny interviews, & best of all the show can't sting you!  Listen from 4-6pm on 88.1 fm in Lexington & you can listen online everywhere at the WRFL web site.

How different is this show from a show I did three years ago with the theme "buzz"
?  Oh no, I recognize two songs from that show I may play today!

Preface To Bees: EpiPens

In a couple of the fake interviews for this week's shows - these are parts I might have edited out, because I tend to edit out my own contributions, whittling them down to more or less pertinent questions for my funny friends/guests - I mentioned that I was allergic to bees.  But I have a confession to make: I don't know if I am.  I have never been stung by a bee.

Why would I say, & actually believe, that I am allergic to bees?  Because once my mother told me I was.  That was it!  I'm sure she was telling me that I had a dangerous allergy because she wanted me to be safe, & not to fuck around with bees, creatures that might sting me if I stupidly put my hand into their hive or something.  My mother is pretty much afraid of everything, & that fear was quite easily passed down into all her children.

& you know what, it worked!  It worked so well that I have never been stung by a bee.  I remember watching in awe as a middle-school friend not only got stung by a bee (I was so freaked out I almost cried) but calmly took the stinger out of his skin.  He looked briefly at it as if it were as threatening as a splinter & tossed it away.

As threatening as a splinter!  My mother once told me I absolutely had to get splinters out of my skin as soon as possible because otherwise they'd continue traveling downward, get into the blood vessels, & make their way to your heart, where one tiny splinter could stab & stab & stab you until you fucking died.

If she felt that way about a splinter, imagine what horrors a bee sting could inflict!  Honestly, I don't even know if my mother knew about allergic reactions or going into anaphylactic shock or any of that shit.  She just erred on the side of being terrified of the entire world & made sure to burden us with her suspect wisdom at every opportunity.

The weird thing is how long it took me - well into adulthood - to figure out how bogus it was.  Take, for example, fire ants.  Fire ants would bite you until you died, said my mother, & that's why you should be careful walking around them.  Only, my little brother once stood in a fire ant hill, got bitten all over his legs, was in a lot of pain, was covered in calamine lotion for a night, & didn't die.

It's a testimony to how much a child relies upon the parent that I didn't call my mother out after my brother lived.  Because when I saw those ants crawling all over him, I thought he was going to die.

Anyway, bees.  I'm still afraid of bees, & actually most insects that are larger than a dime.  & who knows?  Maybe I should carry an EpiPen with me.  For all the hell I know, out of the thousands, if not millions of things my mother told me that turned out to be hysterically wrong, she might be right about this.

New Intro Time Again Again Again Again!

With the exception of 2004 - who the hell knows what was going on then - there has been a new Self Help Radio intro each year at some arbitrary time - usually when the station begins a new schedule.  But since the show premiered in October, the first intros probably happened then.  I have no idea when they moved to May.  Probably when KOOP started a new schedule at the beginning of May.  Anyway.

The WRFL Summer Schedule starts - when?  Oh yeah, May 8.  That felt weird to me, having a new intro being the second week of the month.  So I made this year's intro today.  Hope you don't mind!

This Tuesday, around 4pm, you will hear this:

The Self Help Radio 2016-2017 Intro!

Whee!  Hooray!  Huzzah!  Good lord!  Oh no!

& in case you care, here are the intros from shows of self help past:

You can listen to the 2002 intro (my first!) here.

You can listen to the 2003 intro here.

You can listen to the 2005 intro here.

You can listen to the 2006 intro here.

You can listen to the 2007 intro here.

You can listen to the 2008 intro here.

You can listen to the 2009 intro here.

You can listen to the 2010 intro here.

You can listen to the 2011 intro here.

You can listen to the 2012 intro here.

You can listen to the 2013 intro here.

You can listen to the 2014 intro here.

Finally, even if you're sick of it, here's the intro I've been using for the past year.


Strangely, I have no idea if anyone listens to these or enjoys them or pays any attention.  But if you do, I hope this year's intro pleases you.  You're going to be hearing it for fifty-two or so weeks!