Friday, July 05, 2013

Whither Suits?

Suits, a haiku

Three piece or two piece
It is not really a suit
Without the trousers

Suits, a limerick

There once was a man from Beirut
Who saved up for a new three piece suit
The vest wasn't cheap
& the jacket priced steep
But the pants cost him a lot of loot!

Suits, a sonnet

Wait, I'm not going to write a sonnet about suits! What the hell is going on here?

A show about suits.  By a fellow wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday.  From 4 to 6 pm on 88.1 fm WRFL in the city of Lexington.  You can listen online at wrfl dot fm.

Needless to say: clothing optional.

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Preface To Suits: Suits Stories

I think I bought my first fitted suit - which is to say, I had to have some dude measuring things called "inseams," touching me in places reserved for doctors - when I was asked to be the best man at my friend Mike's wedding.  I got the impression he was afraid I wouldn't dress up, or, worse, was planning to wear something as a "joke."  He was very serious about getting married, as one imagines one should be.  I was a little insulted he thought I'd fuck it up, but I never told him so, since it was his wedding day.

The first time I remember ever "dressing up" was for a middle school "party" or gathering for a group called the Beta Club.  Holy shit, it still exists.  I wasn't sure what the purpose of the dumb club was.  Anyway, I didn't care much what I wore in those days, I was blissfully unaware that there were clothes that people wore because of something like status & peer pressure.  It helped that I was fat & wouldn't have looked good in whatever was hip - but also, my family was poor, so of course we couldn't have afforded those clothes anyway.  I wore a lot of hand-me-downs.  In fact, for that party, I was given my brother Ralph's white suit jacket, & I believe I was made fun of for it being a little too big for me, but I don't remember being hurt by the mockery.  Perhaps I was used to it?

When I used to be asked to deejay in Austin, I always (or most of the time) wore a suit & tie.  No one cared & no one noticed.  I always looked a little ridiculous.

The second suit I bought, & was also fitted for, was for my own wedding, & it made my soon-to-be-wide angry, because I spent a little bit of money on it.  She was going to wear something not-too-fancy as her wedding dress, but she felt like she had to have something as nice as I was wearing.  She needn't have worried - I looked stupid in my moderately-expensive suit, & she would've looked amazing in a tee shirt & shorts.

I wore a suit with a red tie - the whole thing was cobbled together from parts - to my little brother's wedding.  I think I was the only one of his four brothers who wore a suit to his wedding.  With the bright red tie, I felt like I looked like Rush Limbaugh.  For some reason.  Maybe I had also shaved?

I once bought, for a friend's wedding, a suit from a catalog.  Got it through mail order.  Surprisingly, it fit.  Sadly, I got really sick before the wedding, & had to excuse myself during the ceremony.  I don't think I wore it for longer than a couple of hours.

I have no idea where that suit is now.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Murderous Impulses

You've probably seen this headline: Cats Killing Billions Of Animals In The U.S.

Does this look like the face of a killer to you?
Okay, it does.  But she's not!

I have three cats but I keep them indoors because I am selfish.  This article says that an outdoor cat has a life expectancy of five years.  Five years!  That beautiful creature up there is named Beatrice, & in June she turned 13 years old.  I might have lost her eight years ago if she had been an outdoor cat.

(Probably longer - she's very skittish.)

We have a sun room in which she spend a great deal of time, & the windows are always open.  She doesn't seem to want to go outside - she has a pretty good gig as it is.

& the birds outside are very happy about the arrangement!

Tuesday, July 02, 2013


Oh, I give up.

The show is at Self Help Radio dot Net.

Or, directly: part I | part II it's true.

Song list below.  Waving the white flag of surrender!

Please be kind to your defeated radio show

(part one)

"Surrender" Perry Como _Perry Como_
"I Surrender, Dear" Johnny Moore's Three Blazers _Charles Brown 1946-1947_
"I'll Surrender Anytime" Edna McGriff _Jubilee Jezebels_

"Surrender Your Heart" Lovenotes _You Are Invited_
"Surrender" Elvis Presley _The Essential Elvis Presley_
"I Surrender" Billy Bass _Before They Were Stars: Volume 2_
"I Surrender" Fontella Bass _Rescued: The Best Of Fontella Bass_
"I Surrender" Eddie Holman _Kent Footstompers_
"Surrender" Diana Ross _The Complete Motown Singles Vol. 11: 1971_

"Surrender" Black Ivory _Return Of The Pusherman: Hustlin' Soul_
"Sweet Surrender" Classics IV _Atmospherics 1966-1975: A Complete Career Collection_
"Surrender (live)" Cheap Trick _At Budokan: The Complete Concert_
"I Surrender" The Adverts _The Wonders Don't Care_
"Soul Surrender" Bram Tchaikovsky _Funland_

"Beat Surrender" The Jam _The Gift_

(part two)

"Surrender" U2 _War_
"I Surrender" Pete Shelley _Heaven & The Sea_
"Surrender" Suicide _A Way Of Life_

"Never Surrender" Chin Chin _Heroes & Villains - 23 Pop Songs 1980-1990_
"Surrender" Jonathan Richman _Surrender To Jonathan_
"I Surrender" Crabs _The Sand & Sea_
"I Surrender" David Sylvian _A Victim Of Stars 1982-2012_

"Surrender Is Treason" Crooked Fingers _Bring On The Snakes_
"Will You Surrender?" Mick Harvey _One Man's Treasure_
"Surrender" Fonda _Catching Up To The Future_
"Surrender" The Cigarettes _Will Damage Your Health_

"I Surrender" The Primitives _Echoes & Rhymes_
"Surrender" Ben Lee _The Rebirth Of Venus_