Saturday, September 17, 2011

Preface To Whispers: Speak Up!

Is whispering sometimes louder than normal speech? This odd Facebook page thinks so.

But is whispering bad for your vocal cords when singing? Apparently not. How do I know? Because someone asked that question on Yahoo! Answers. He asked: "I heard that whispering can damage your vocal chords slowly. I whisper sing songs that I know by heart. I sing death metal vocals and I need to know if this is bad for you."

He sings death metal vocals & he wonders if whispering is bad for him? Anyway, the answer is here.

Is whispering rude? The Busy Mama thinks so!

Something else that may be rude is me telling you that I'm going to be on the radio this evening playing hip hop from ten pm to midnight Lexington time. You can listen in Lexington on the 88.1 frequency or you can listen anywhere at It's not that important, so I thought I'd whisper it at you.

Friday, September 16, 2011

But Have You Heard About Boomslang?

I took a nap this afternoon because I subbed someone's show this morning from six to nine am & didn't get to sleep last night before one am so I got roughly three hours sleep & by the way I am still tired.

The show that I subbed included the amazing WRFL Surf! & one person on the Facebook page described my deejaying as "Inanity personified..." If only they had been commenting on Self Help Radio, I could have used it as a quote for promotion! Ah well.

Anyway, Boomslang is a music festival held every year (at least for the past three years) by WRFL featuring an eclectic mix of independent, obscure, or fill-in-the-blank bands, including the first Queerslang, which seems pretty cool. I am only vaguely involved in it - I have volunteered for busy work, & will volunteer during the festival - but I had my first Boomslang anxiety dream while I napped. At some point during the dream I realized it was a week until Boomslang, & woke up feeling only slightly relieved. I mean, it's only a week away!

If you're in or near Lexington, the festival may be worth your while. It's basically Friday through Sunday, at a small number of venue, not as crazy as SXSW, & it does look like maybe next week will be quite lovely. Read more about it at Boomslang fest dot com. I'm convinced there's something there for you - & most probably more than a little something!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Joke A Day A Week, Episode Twelve

Well, you learn something new every A Joke A Day A Week.

Did you know, for example, there is a sub-category of jokes called "Genie Jokes"?

There are! In fact there's a whole page (okay, probably more) on the internet for them, at weirdity dot com slash genie. Indeed, you can find genie jokes on such diverse topics as "Miscellaneous Genies," "Well Meaning Genies," "Anti-Men & Anti-Women Genies," "Rocket Science Genies" (I don't really want to know), "Friends & Genies" (doesn't that sound like a DH Lawrence book?), "Tough Cookie Genies," & of course "Smutty Genie Jokes" - need I point out they're "(Adults Only)"?

Here's what it says "about Genie Jokes":

Genie jokes vary around the premise that the subject finds a bottle/brass lamp/similar antique, from which, by chance, the Genie is liberated after a long incarceration. Usually, the joke illustrates the stupidity of the fortunate, or the risks of careless use of language. Occasionally, & worth collecting, are those that give the Genie his revenge for imprisonment or other ulterior motive."

One of this week's A Joke A Day was in fact a genie joke, which went:

Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the fairy picked up her wand and poof - the husband was 90.

Of course, in typical A Joke A Day fashion, the "genie joke" - it was labelled as such - didn't have a genie in it, but a fairy. Which is, as you might imagine, not exactly the same as a genie, although to be fair, a genie wouldn't just appear to "congratulate" a "married couples" which was just two people.

Is it a very good joke? Perhaps it's in the telling. Here is the way the joke appears on the Genie Jokes website, under the "Anti-Men Genies" section. Please note that someone has taken care to make sure the joke is well-written & has some internal logical consistency. Unlike, you know, the drivel that passes for A Joke A Day:

There once was a couple who had been married for many years ... happily married. They had met in their teens, it was love at first sight. Their families got on well, their friends approved ... they married young.

After bringing up the kids, they decided to take a cruise before planning a long and happy retirement. They could afford a five-day short trip around the Mediterranean. The cruise gave them a day wandering around the gift shops of the Greek island of Santorini.

In the back of a dark, almost deserted store, the wife found a dusty old lamp. She gave it a quick polish, to see what it could look like ... and out popped our friendly neighborhood genie.

"I usually give just one wish", said the genie, "but I can see that you two are a couple still in love after all these years; you may each have a wish."

"Oooh!" said the wife, "I'd like to be on a proper ocean cruise ... somewhere in the South Pacific".

And in an instant, she was gone, wafted off to her dream ... maybe she meant to include her husband, but these wishes tend to be taken literally.

"And you, sir?", asked the genie.

Conscious that he was alone, and the world was at his fingertips, the husband thought long and hard ...

"I'd like a wife thirty years younger than me", he eventually decided.

And in an instant, he aged thirty years, and the genie disappeared.

Moral: Wish for what you will ... but be careful if the genie is a woman.

A better joke, although I could do without the ellipses... & the moral.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Can A Radio Show Relax?

Relax? RELAX? Who can relax in this day & age? In this time of confusion & crisis? Only hipsters can relax! & they do it ironically!

Self Help Radio relaxed today, though, enough to make a show about relaxing. Can't relax? I can't blame you. Perhaps there's something relaxing in today's show for you. If not, you should do what I do: rely upon alcohol & drugs.

The show in its entirety is at the Self Help Radio website. It's been divided into two soothing parts: part one will rub your feet while part two plays music on a zither. Or something. Probably not. What's in the two parts is below.

(part one)

"I've Got To Learn To Relax More, Yo!" Innerstance.Beatbox _All Little Boys Do Silly Little Dances_
"Lighten Up Again" Mocean Worker _Mix & Match_
"(Relax) You Will Think You Are A Chicken" Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet _Sport Fishin'_

"Take It Easy" Fats Waller _1935 Vol. 1_
"Relax-Ay-Voo (with Line Renaud)" Dean Martin _Memories Are Made Of This_
"Relax Max" Dinah Washington _Swingin' Miss 'D'_
"Relax" Elvis Presley _It Happened At The World's Fair_
"Relax & Mambo" Machito & His Orchestra _Sabroso: The Afro-Latin Groove_
"Take It Easy My Brother Charlie" Kahami Karie _Kahami Karie_

"Relax" Bobby Conn & The Glass Gypsies _The Homeland_
"Relax" Calvin Harris _Ready For The Weekend_

(part two)

"Relax" The Dandy Warhols _Come On Feel The Dandy Warhols_
"Rush To Relax" Eddy Current Suppression Ring _Rush To Relax_

"You Gots To Chill" EPMD _Strictly Business_
"Relax Baby Be Cool" Serge Gainsbourg _Aux Armes Et Caetera_
"Tomorrow Never Knows" The Beatles _Revolver_
"Relax" Petra Haden _Petra Haden Sings: The Who Sell Out_
"Unwind" The Rosebuds _The Rosebuds Unwind_

"Relax Your Mind" Leadbelly _Leadbelly's Last Sessions_
"Relax & Take It Easy" Tommy Duncan With The Ranger Trio _Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From The Golden Age_
"Never Relaxed" Daniel Johnston _Songs Of Pain_
"I'm Gonna Take It Easy" Gabriel Brown _Roll & Tumble Blues - A History Of Slide Guitar_

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Whither Relax?

I am so exhausted while preparing this radio show with the theme "relax." I drove (with the wife & the dogs) to Atlanta yesterday to visit a friend from Austin who happened to be in Atlanta for his birthday. I had read that the visit would only take a six hour drive, but stupidly assumed the drive would take us through Nashville, & so added ninety minutes to the journey by driving through Atlanta. Then, today, I drove back. The right way, though, up I-75 through Knoxville.

We did manage to eat some amazing vegan food in Nashville at a place called The Wild Cow. Oh my invisible friend in the sky, their vegan reuben was amazing. They also had beet hummus. I had previously heard you couldn't beat beet hummus, & I was right.

In Atlanta we ate Ethiopian food at a place called Desta. Though they didn't serve the food in a traditional way, the place still made amazing Ethiopian food. It was spicy in all the right ways. The most charming thing that happened is that a Latino working there, asking us if we wanted more injera, said, "Do you want more tortillas?" We loved that.

I give them both hearty shout-outs & don't give shout-outs to any asshole drivers who apparently don't know the rules of the road. A long drive with dickwads on the road is the opposite of relaxation.

What is relaxation? Find out tomorrow morning (that's Monday) from 7:30 to 9am, on the 88.1 frequency in Lexington, & online everywhere else at wrfl dot fm. If I'm not too relaxed after the show, I'll archive it at the the Self Help Radio website.

Chill out. Listen!