Saturday, December 31, 2011

Preface To Trips: Year End Accounting

If it turns out anyone has actually read this blog, he or she will know that I love to count things. Dumb things, like the number of posts in the blog, & also the number of radio shows I've done. I like to keep most of them to myself - but since it's the end of 2011, I thought I post this little bit of number crunching.

(Note: no numbers have actually been crunched.)

In 2011, I did (according to my count) 149 radio shows. That means roughly one radio show every two & a half days. That's a lot of radio, I know. In a different world, I'd be punished for it.

But is that number correct? It certainly didn't seem to me that I've been up at the station every three days. It turns out that when I counted my radio shows, I didn't take into account the fact that I tend to do two radio shows in a three hour period - Sugar Substitute for ninety minutes, then Self Help Radio for the same. So if I add that to my calculations, I did 94 shows in 2011 - which is still a lot, or a show about every four days.

As for Self Help Radio, there were 49 episodes this year. I'm not entirely sure where I was during some of those weeks - I thought I had taken just two weeks off this year.

What a lot of radio though! My word!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Once More, Near The End Of The Year

I met a man with a sore on his foot. I could not, myself, see the foot. I could only hear the sore.

"That's some sore, sir," I told the man, who was old & could no longer wince.

"Sorcerer?" he said superciliously, which I took super-sillily.

"Does it often sound as sad, your sore?" I asked once more.

He told me a story, which he bade me not to tell, but I will tell, now that his own tale is told.

He said, "I once was a titan, a leader of men. I led some women too, but only astray. The men I led were men of iron, not of lead, & they followed me to the end. The end of the street. They went to their one-room shacks on the right, I went to my mansion on the left. It was a company town. But that night I did not want company. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to eat alone. I wanted to sleep alone. I wanted to remind myself that I was a lone wolf."

I said, "Was this before or after the present day?"

He continued, "Night came & went, & still I was alone. But now I no longer wanted it. I wanted to hear the bells of the factory & the whistles of the church bells. I wanted to be reminded of Emma, now long forgotten, whose life had so nearly touched mine. Or of Emma, Emma's cousin, with the same, unfortunate name, who to this day runs a mile & a half every morning just to wake up. Her alarm clock, you see, is a mile & a half away."

I said, "I can't hear over the soaring score of your sore!"

He waved a dismissive hand. "The more I grew aware of my surroundings the less I cared about the mansion, the men I led, the place from whence we all came. Instead, I had to go where I was certain I could be more or less myself. So I went to Mysore."

"Your sore?"

"Mysore," he said, "in India. Though it's a lovely city - second in size only to Bangalore - & rated the second cleanest city in India in 2010 - it turned out to be a terrible chore. I could not find myself in Mysore."

"But," I asked, "did you find your sore in Mysore?"

"Young man, your sore is not as loud as my sore, nor (I might add) is it as loud as Mysore, which is a great city of nearly a million inhabitants, all with something to say."

I was late for writing this blog entry so I became impatient. I suddenly realized the man was an outpatient.

"You have been treated for your sore!" I said triumphantly. "& now you are returning home."

"Alas," said the man, as his sore made a low moan, "the story is never that simple."

"Humor me," I said phlegmatically.

"I will not humor you!" he said with bile.

"Then you leave me no choice," I said. "I will ask the sore!"

To the sore I swore I would say no more. Do not implore nor explore this lore! I cannot ignore the roar of your esprit de corps, but though I am done for, I'll underscore the origin's core: it was something of a bore.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Live! From Planet X!

The oldest surviving dance form in India is called Odissi. The oldest non-surviving dance form in India does not have a name yet. We're working on it.

The spaceship left for Planet X sometime in the morning from a farmhouse in County Donegal, Ireland. The passengers, if you want to call them that, were not in the least bit Irish. There was an element of bad planning.

In the spirit of romance, he wanted to name a lunar impact crater for her, only to discover that they were all named, & have been for some time. Therefore, he argued that the logical step would be for her to change her name to that of an existing lunar impact crater. He suggested Inghirami.

Meanwhile, on the way to Planet X, the space toilet gets clogged up. Everyone blames Barnes.

To understand the next part of our tale, please familiarize yourself with the effects of human exposure to vacuum.

Our heroes may return to find their planet reduced to a feudal state.

The entire adventure, I am told, will be performed a cappella by several college singing groups in competition. A well-known but possibly washed-up director with his screenwriter pal Jimmy has already purchased the rights.

(What you've all been waiting for) Live! From Planet X! They answer the door! They're invited in! It's very nice! & classy! (That's a surprise!)

The new motto: "We'll Show YOU A Good Time On Planet X!"

Monday, December 26, 2011

Indiepop A To Z Continued

Oooo, so close! Three songs away from finishing the indiepop Gs!

Today I shanghaied my freeform pop show, Sugar Substitute, to play three hours of indiepop in alphabetical order, from Gold-Bears to Guild League, in my foolish, ridiculous, OCD-driven plan to catalog indiepop bands, musicians, & influences. Maybe I'll never finish this, but it's sure fun trying.

The shows are available at the Self Help Radio website, but below are direct links to each show (they're both in two parts), & below the below there's a list of the songs in each part. Feel free to yell at me for missing a band or artist that's important. After a while, poring over lists, thinking too hard, my brain turns to twee & mush.

Indiepop A To Z # 34 Part I
Indiepop A To Z # 34 Part II
Indiepop A To Z # 35 Part I
Indiepop A To Z # 35 Part II

Thanks for listening! Self Help Radio returns to random themes next week!

Indiepop A To Z # 34 Part I

"Tally" Gold-Bears _Are You Falling In Love?_
"George Hamilton's Dead" The Golden Dawn _Air Balloon Road_
"Now I Hear The Train" The Golden Rule _The Golden Rule EP_

"My Life Is Like A Stanley Knife (Cut, Cut, Cut)" Golden Strings _Split 7" with Buy Off The Bar_
"A Summer Escape" Golden Teardrops _A Summer Escape_
"Wherever" Goldstoned _You Thought It Was The End Of The World When The Rain Ruined Your Hair_
"Virtually Happy" Golightly Holly _The Good Things_
"Rose" The Good Natured _Birdsongs, Beesongs: Eardrums Spring Compilation 2009_

"We Are Not The Same" Good Shoes _Think Before You Speak_
"First One On The Beach" Goodnight Monsters _Summer Challenge_
"Dancing Shoes" Goof _C06_
"Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows" Lesley Gore _Sunshine, Lollipops & Rainbows: The Best Of Lesley Gore_
"Young Girls & Happy Endings" Gorky's Zygotic Mynci _Barafundle_

Indiepop A To Z # 34 Part II

"Automobile (with Tracyanne Campbell)" Gospel Music _Duettes EP_

"We Are The Gothic Archies" Gothic Archies _The Tragic Treasury: Songs From A Series Of Unfortunate Events_
"I'm Used Now" Grab Grab The Haddock _Three Songs By Grab Grab The Haddock_
"Bad Days Must End" Gradapenda Rosindale _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Vol 5_
"Song 18" Grandrapids _Symphony For Heartbreak - US Pop Life Vol. 9: Seattle/Portland_
"Baby In A Plastic Bag" Grape _Baby In A Plastic Bag_

"Breaks My Heart" Grapes Of Wrath _September Bowl Of Green_
"St. George's Way" The Gravy Train _St. George's Way 7"_
"We Say No" Great Aunt Ida _How They Fly_
"Amen" Great Chefs Of Europe _Amen_

Indiepop A To Z # 35 Part I

"A Little Touched" Great Lakes _Great Lakes_
"All I Could Do" Great Outdoors _World At My Shoes 7"_
"Head In The Clouds" The Great Outdoors _Head In The Clouds_

"Letter To A Fanzine" Great Plains _Length Of Growth 1981-89_
"Hold Onto The Rail" The Great Unwashed _Clean Out Of Our Minds_
"Jessica" Adam Green _Friends Of Mine_
"I'm Gonna Stay With Her" Pete Green _Platform Zero EP_
"Summer's On" The Green Fields _Melodies For Afternoon_
"Kim The Waitress" Green Pajamas _Indian Winter_

"I Get It!" Green Peppers _Ave Marina: Ten Years Of Marina Records_
"The Millionth Lovesong" Greenhouse _Knowing Where It All Leeds_

Indiepop A To Z # 35 Part II

"Philco" Grenadine _Goya_
"Faces" Greyhound Green _Baby I'm Yours_
"Just A Silly Phase I'm Going Through" The Groove Farm _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Volume 2_
"Innocent Yuppie" The Groove Machine _Try A Little Sunshine: A Greek Indiepop Compilation_

"Summer" The Grooveyard _Uncle Arthur's Pop Parlour_
"Andy Watch Out!" Paul Groovy & The Pop Art Experience _Andy Watch Out!_
"Of All The Girls In The World" The Groovy Cellar _Review III (Marsh-Marigold)_
"You Make My Head Explode" The Groovy Little Numbers _You Make My Head Explode 12"_
"Don't Wake The Dead" Guards _Guards EP_

"Cucurucho" Guatafán _Cucurucho_
"I Am A Scientist" Guided By Voices _Bee Thousand_
"Citronella" The Guild League _Inner North_

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 34 - 35?

It's true! Tomorrow Self Help Radio & Sugar Substitute are teaming up to continue the Indiepop A To Z series!

When we last left the foolish, interminable attempt to be comprehensive, we were still in the Gs... We finished with the Gol Gappas, which can only mean bands with "gold" in their name can't be far behind! (Actually, they're right behind. We're starting with Atlanta's Gold-Bears.)

Spoiler Alert!

I did that too late, didn't I?

I have fifty songs in my head right now which will take us to the end of the Gs. Will one hundred eighty minutes be enough time to get through them all? You'll have to listen to find out!

Remember, Indiepop A To Z # 34 airs on Sugar Substitute from 6am to 7:30am, while Indiepop A To Z # 35 airs on Self Help Radio from 7:30am to 9am. You can listen in Lexington at 88.1 fm or online at wrfl dot fm. The shows will be archived - as are virtually all of the indiepop a to z shows, later at the Self Help Radio website.

Fans of indiepop, alphabetization &/or OCD behavior - I'll see you tomorrow!