Saturday, October 26, 2019

Preface To Halloween 2019: Woefully Unprepared For This Week's Show

Seriously.  I haven't done much work on this week's show.  Today I spent the day shopping for our new house.  Then I waited at the new house while my wife got our locks re-keyed.  I had to stay in the empty house (we're moving in next weekend) because, you see, there were no locks on our doors.

What to do?  I'll spend all day tomorrow working on the show, of course.  & I'll tell you how it came about that I'm doing a Halloween show about Frankenstein.

Frankenstein means the monster, of course.  It would be weird to have a bunch of songs about Dr. Frankenstein.  Which reminds me - I never got the chance to watch Young Frankenstein as I planned to do before the show.  Drat.

Are you a Frankenstein fan?  I was trying to remember my first memories of the character.  Probably from the comics - although I never quite enjoyed the 1970s horror comics as much as the super-hero ones.  I do remember seeing the James Whale Frankenstein movie at some point & feeling the urge to read Mary Shelley's book - & being a little surprised that the movie took great liberties with the novel.

These are things I'll perhaps talk about on this week's show.  Once I gather materials to put it together.  Which I haven't really spent much time doing this week.  Ah but!  There's always tomorrow!

Friday, October 25, 2019

Portland Drivers, or, Driving In Portland

Initially I was charmed by the slow pace of Portland.  I think I even wrote about the whole "20 is Plenty" campaign here to make the speed limit 20 miles per hour in residential areas.  People in Portland drive slowly.  Very, very slowly.  There are people on the highway doing forty in the left lane.

My wife, who was traumatized by Dallas traffic, rides her bike most of the time, but when she drives, she's very appreciative of the slow pace on Portland's roads.  & again, I found it kinda cool when I first got here.

Then suddenly I had places to be.  & the charm quickly faded.  Did I mention that there are people on  the highway doing forty in the left lane?

It's maddening.  Part of it is, frankly, most people in Portland are terrible drivers.  They really are.  I guess the whole "driving slowly" thing masks that.  In the Dallas area, where I spent an inordinate amount of time the last three years driving a lot, terrible drivers hit speeds of 70 & don't last long.  Here?  They just putter along.

Slowly - though not as slowly as Portlanders drive - I came to dislike the slow drivers of Portland.  My radio shows, for example, are at the other end of the city, & Portland has three highways that service it.  Which means that most of your travel will be on streets.  Streets where the top speed may, if you're lucky, be 35 miles per hour.  Streets that are mostly two-lane - one lane for each direction of traffic.  & if you're stuck behind Mr. or Ms. Twenty-Is-Plenty?  Oh you're not getting where you need to go on time.

All of my Dallas driving skills come rushing back to me & I turn into a major asshole.  & I'm not the only one, of course - when someone seem mad at me, I sort of sympathize with them.  I would rather be treated poorly on the road by someone as irritated & impatient as I am than someone who simply does not understand how shitty it is to drive five miles under the speed limit with no thought to the growing line of cars behind you.

Yeah, yeah, I should leave earlier.  & perhaps smoke what they're smoking.

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Sugar Substitute (Episode 169)

You'll recall I do another radio show, not just Self Help Radio, but one called Sugar Substitute, it's on Tuesday Mornings from 2-4am, no one is up to listen, I'm barely awake myself.

The reason I mention this is twofold.  Onefold, you can listen to the show any time you like clicking the link above for "Sugar Substitute," but also last Tuesday's show directly by clicking here.

The other fold is that you might not want to listen to that show, as it was the first of two Fall Fund Drive shows I have to do for XRAY.  It's fundraising season, & I am going to be asking for money on the air for two different stations in a one month period.  You can help out XRAY by donating at their web site & if you do, & do it because I sent you, maybe mention Sugar Substitute?  That would be nice.

Pledge Drives aren't fun but they tend to be the major way non-profit radio stations raise money, so it's a necessary evil.  I wonder why there aren't free-media-loving billionaires out there who could help - dropping a hundred grand on a radio station wouldn't be a burden to any of them - but I understand they have politicians to purchase who will allow them to keep more of their billions.  It's the one thing people who are raised poor or middle-class - & who give a far greater portion of their income to charity - simply don't understand.

In any event - Sugar Substitute.  It's on weekly, even if I tend to be quite exhausted when I do it.

Monday, October 21, 2019

Self Help Radio 112119: Illusions

(Original illusion here.)

According to this website (which does not cite its source), the Buddha said, "We live in illusion & the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, & being nothing, you are everything. That is all."

I hope the Buddha meant, "That is all," as in, "That is what everything is," instead of like what a boss says at the end of a meeting which means "Now get the hell out of here, I have some heavy day-drinking to do."

Most of us understand illusion to mean something that's not real, either generated by our minds or perpetrated by someone else to fool us.  But if the universe is an illusion, who is doing the perpetrating?  Oh wow man that's some heavy shit.  This is going to be a heavy-ass radio show, isn't it?

Not really.  Is it ever?  You can lose all your illusions, or make some more, by listening whenever you feel the illusion needs it to this week's Self Help Radio, now available at the Self Help Radio website.  Music, interviews, maybe a magic trick or two - though you obviously can't see those on the radio, sorry.  Username SHR, password selfhelp, what's on the two-hour program is listed below.

It might be better to remember the words of the great Pete Shelley: "Life's the illusion, love is the dream."

Self Help Radio Illusions Show
"Illusion" Nat "King" Cole _The Touch Of Your Lips_
"Illusions" The Human Instinct _Singles _1966–1971_
"Illusions" One Way Street _Pass The Caviar_

introduction & definitions

"Illusions" Isolation Ward _Point Final_
"Illusions" Stagnant Pools _Temporary Room_
"Illusions" Shout Out Louds _Optica_
"Illusions" Dinner _New Work_
"The Illusion" Dream Machine _The Illusion_

interview with illusionist David Fruchter

"Want To Buy Some Illusions" Marianne Faithfull _20th Century Blues_
"My Illusions" Sugar Pie DeSanto _Moaning, Groaning, Crying: A Galaxy Of Soul_
"Lost Illusions" Rosie & The Originals _Angel Baby Revisited_
"Optical Illusion" Al Stewart _24 Carrots_
"A Life of Illusion" Spent _Umbrella Wars EP_

interview with lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"I'm Set Free" The Velvet Underground _The Velvet Underground_
"The Desert" Smog _Burning Kingdom_
"Everybody's Happy Nowadays" Buzzcocks _Complete Singles Anthology_
"Monkeyland" The Chameleons _Script Of The Bridge_

interview with body artist Bogogob Smith

"Is This An Illusion" The Mighty Diamonds _Jam Session_
"La Grande Illusion" Television Personalities _...And Don't The Kids Just Love It_
"Season Of Illusions" Ladytron _Velocifero_
"Web Of Illusion" Soul Merchants _1985-1987_
"Velvet Illusions" Velvet Illusions _Pebbles, Vol. 9: Southern California 2_

conclusion & goodbye

"Illusion" Chris & Cosey _Trust_
"World Of Illusion" The Forum _The River Is Wide_

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Whither Illusions?

(An illusion from here.)

The first people to dream of radio waves thought they were a kind of magical illusion.  & they were not wrong!  Every new scientific thing is a form of magic - until of course it isn't.  Which is not why Self Help Radio this week is about illusions.

Is it because, as Buddhists believe, this world is an illusion?  In many ways, I'm much more Buddhist than any other religion out there, but even so, no.  No, the show is not about illusion because I am trying to secretly make you listen to Buddhist teachings.  As if anyone could ever associate me with the word "teachings"!

The reason the show is about illusion will be revealed at some point during the show - which happens tomorrow morning (that's Monday the 21st) from 6 to 8am Portland time on Freeform Portland (online at freeform portland dot org) - it will be revealed that all seventeen years of Self Help Radio have all been an illusion!

The greatest illusion ever perpetrated on radio!

Or maybe it won't.  I kinda like this illusion.  We'll see.  Or hear.  Whatever.