Saturday List

Here is Saturday's list:

1) Tortilla chips
2) Chatty cashiers
3) Mowing & re-mowing the lawn
4) Books on tape on iPhone
5) Three false alarms
6) Millet
7) You don't really need to
8) Text interrupts nap
9) Time is tight
10) Late for show

Self Help Radio 070516: Bread

(Original image here.)

No fooling, I gained weight during this show.  I kept going to the pantry for "research."  For "inspiration."  Finally I realized I had a problem.  With bread.

This show celebrates bread, so anyone who can eat an entire baguette while in the midst of a casual conversation should stay away from this show.  I even heard that three local bakeries had to close because of a rush on artisan breads!  I heard that from my cats, though, & they wouldn't know such a thing.

For those who can stomach it (pun intended), here is this week's Self Help Radio, about bread.  It's at the Self Help Radio website.  It's wrapped for freshness.  Actually, it's sliced - into only two slices, but it is sliced!  The different songs that are in each slice are listed below.  Pretend it's a list of essential vitamins & minerals & that the show is actually nutritious.  Spoiler alert: it's not!

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a hunk of sourdough bread positively screaming my name.

(one slice)

"The Breads In Your Bakery" PBNJ Buchanan _The Breads In Your Bakery_
"Bread" Jonny _Jonny_
"Bread" Norma Tanega _The DynoVoice Story_

"Breakin' Bread" Fred Wesley & The JB's _Breakin' Bread_
"Welfare Bread" King Khan & The Shrines _What Is?!_
"(Get Off That) Booze & Garlic Bread" Denny Rockwell _(Get Off That) Booze & Garlic Bread_
"Bread & Butter" The Newbeats _The Best Of The Newbeats_

"Ezekiel Bread" Half-Handed Cloud _Thy Is A Word + Feet Need Lamps_
"Es Como El Pan" Jonathan Richman _Because Her Beauty Is Raw & Wild_
"(I'm Just A Crumb In Your) Bread Box Of Love" Ted Taylor _Taylor Made_
"Wooden Bread" Bruce Haack _Hush Little Robot_

"Dry Bread" Hank Thompson _Songs For Rounders_
"Bread & Circus" Marc Almond _Varieté_

(another slice)

"Yea! Heavy & A Bottle Of Bread" Bob Dylan & The Band _The Basement Tapes_
"Beans & Corn Bread" Louis Jordan _Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five, Vol. 4: 1947-1949_
"Bread Crumbs" Bishop Allen _Lights Out_

"Good Old Bosom Bread" Hot Lips Page _1938-1940_
"Bread Line Blues" Slim Smith _Hard Times Come Again No More, Vol. 1 (Early American Rural Songs Of Hard Times & Hardships)_
"I Love Bread" Jim Gaffigan _The Last Supper_
"The Baker's Wife" The Lucksmiths _Boondoggle_
"Bread" Neil Phillips _Supermarket_

"Bread & Gravy" Martha Davis _1946-1951_
"Two Little Fishes & Five Loaves Of Bread" Sister Rosetta Tharpe _The Original Soul Sister (1943-46)_
"Breaking Bread" Johnny Cash _Unearthed_
"Goodbye Bread" Ty Segall _Goodbye Bread_

"Cuttin' The Cornbread" Ralph Stanley _Old-Time Pickin': A Clawhammer Banjo Collection_
"Bread & Gravy" Homer & Jethro _Ooh, That's Corny_
"I'm Your Bread Maker, Baby" Slim Harpo _The Excello Singles Anthology_

Whither Bread?

(Image found here.)

Oh good grief I eat a lot of bread.  I just ate bread with my lunch, & also chips.  It was a dish called "southwestern mac & 'cheese'" so of course I trebled up on the carbs & starches.  Damn it!

One thing I've never made (since I do cook all the time) is bread.  I don't know why I haven't.  I mean, I've made cornbread, which is a kind of bread, but never wheat bread.  Or potato bread or rice bread or whatever.  Okay I'll admit it: I'm a little scared of baking.

What about cake?  I've made cakes.  Does that count?  Not really?

As I finish up listening to all the songs I've gathered for the show - far more songs about bread than will fit in two hours - I can tentatively promise you a pretty good show.  As well, I have interviews out the wazoo, which may be, after all the bread I've consumed, the only thing coming out of the wazoo for a while if you know what I mean & I think you do.

So do listen today from 4-6pm on 88.1 fm & simultaneously on wrfl dot fm.  I hope that all the music & chat that I have prepared will be hearty enough to fill two hours like two giant slices of sandwich bread.

Ho ho, I crack myself up.

Preface To Bread: On The Fourth Of July I Compare My Dogs To Different Types Of Bread

In discussion with my wife today, who may or may not know that Self Help Radio this week is about bread, we agreed upon four things (a rarity) in regards to the types of bread our canines would be if they were to suddenly become bread.  Here's what we decided, from the youngest dog, to the oldest.

Yoko would be cornbread.

Delicious.

Pauline would be a baguette.

Scrumptious.

Winston would be an onion bagel.

Messy but tasty.

& old Ringo would be rye bread.  Probably very dark rye bread.

Earthy.

If you've ever wondered what gets talked about during dog walks, well, it probably doesn't get a whole lot deeper than this.

The Obligatory Pre-Independence Day Calvin & Hobbes Cartoon