Saturday, July 31, 2021

Flat Bookstuffs

(images from Goodreads.)

On our show this week - it was a flat show - if you haven't already you can listen to it at the Self Help Radio website or at the KBOO website - oh you know - but during the show our librarian friend Carole came by to talk to us about some books about flat things.  The three above are the ones she discussed!  They are:

Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown
Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast by Josh Funk & Brendan Kearney
& Splat The Cat Sings Flat by Chris Strathearn & Robert Eberz

Carole managed to weave in three different aspects of flatness - becoming flat, being something that is flat, & the idea of flat in a musical sense.

We're happy when she stops by because our library gets bigger.  I just wish she'd recommend a book once in a while closer to my reading level - like maybe seventh grade or something.

Maybe there's something for you to enjoy!

Friday, July 30, 2021

The Campaign For A National Day Of Funk

(Image from here.)

Once again I take to the blog of a Friday to talk not about Self Help Radio, but about the other show I do, which is called The Dickenbock Report, & which airs Thursday mornings from 8 to 10am on Freeform Portland.

Freeform is a low-power fm station so it doesn't quite have the reach KBOO does, so I'm not being sad sacky when I say that probably fewer people hear the show than Self Help Radio.  The show I did a week ago, on July 22, I can safely say that no one heard.  The station was off the air!

Since the show was dependent on the date for its subject matter, I can't replay it - it was celebrating the 80th birthday of a starchild named George Clinton, pictured above.  I played a great deal of funk, including music made by the man himself, & I campaigned for turning his birthday into a national holiday - a National Day Of Funk, if you will.  Alas, my efforts were in vain.  My show didn't even get broadcast into the ether!

Since the show was recorded, however, you can listen if you'd like.  Clicking on this sentence will send you directly to the link.  Since it's on the Self Help Radio website, you'll need a username & a password to listen - those are SHR & selfhelp, respectively.  To sweeten the pot, I'll present the playlist below.

I hope you enjoy!

The Dickenbock Report 072221: The Campaign For A National Day Of Funk On George Clinton's Birthday

"Computer Games" George Clinton _Computer Games_

"Humpty Dump (Parts 1 & 2)" Vibrettes _Eddie Bo's Funky Funky New Orleans_
"Jive Man" Exit 9 _Straight Up_
"Kissing My Love" Cold Blood _Thriller!_
"Foxy Girls In Oakland" Rodger Collins _Bay Area Funk (Funk & Soul Essentials From San Francisco, Oakland & The Bay Area 1967-1976) (Vol. 1)_
"Livin' In, Lovin' Out" Ann Peebles _The Handwriting Is On The Wall_

"Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker)" Parliament _Mothership Connection_
"Keep It Comin'" Rufus _Rufus_
"Shack Up (Parts I & II)" Banbara _Blue Break Beats Volume Four_
"If You Don't Give Me What I Want (I Gonna Get It Some Other Place)" Vicki Anderson _Mother Popcorn: The Vicki Anderson Anthology_
"Loose Booty" Sly & The Family Stone _Small Talk_

"Disco To Go" Brides Of Funkenstein _Funk Or Walk_
"Move On Baby" The Allergies _Move On Baby_
"Shoo-B-Doop & Cop Him" Betty Davis _They Say I'm Different_
"Starbooty" Roy Ayers Presents Ubiquity _Starbooty_
"Funky Music Sho' Nuff Turns Me On" Yvonne Fair _The Bitch Is Black_

"Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On" Funkadelic _Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On_
"There's A Break In The Road" Betty Harris _The Lost Queen Of New Orleans Soul_
"Getting Funky Round Here" Black Nasty _Talking To The People_
"You Can't Love Me If You Don't Respect Me" Lyn Collins _Check Me Out If You Don't Know Me By Now_
"World Wide Funk (feat. Doug E. Fresh, Buckethead & Alissia Benveniste)" Bootsy Collins _World Wide Funk_

"Funky Drummer" James Brown _Star Time_
"Save Me" Nina Simone _Nina! (The Nina Simone Collection)_
"Cussin', Cryin' & Carryin' On" Ike & Tina Turner _Cussin', Cryin' & Carryin' On_
"Only A Fool" Loleatta Holloway _Loleatta_

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Self Help Radio 072721: A Flat Show

(original image here*)

A flat show! What nonsense is this?  I'll have you know we've spent many a Self Help Radio exploring a theme which is a word, thank you very much!  & "flat" is a word with so many meanings!  It can mean smooth-surfaced, it can mean deflated, it has a musical meaning & it's what they call apartments in the UK & down under.  What a word!  & certainly worthy of a radio show!

It can also mean "stale" & so any mean criticism of the show is built right in.  You're welcome.

The show can be listened to now & anytime at both the Self Help Radio website & at the KBOO website.  I don't want you to prefer one over the other, but the one at the SHR website doesn't cut off the last song.  Lots of stuff happens during the show, the details are below.

Most episodes of Self Help Radio are like me falling flat on my face.  & this one is no exception!

Self Help Radio's Flat Show
"Flat" Pere Ubu _Waiting For Mary (What Are We Doing Here?)_
"Flat" Difference Engine _Breadmaker_
"Flatness" Melkbelly _Pith_

introductions & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"The Flat Feet Floogie" Slim & Slam _Cab Calloway: Minnie The Moocher_
"Flat Feet" Sammy Masters _Rockin' Red Wing_
"Henry's Got Flat Feet (Can't Dance No More)" Hank Ballard _Sexy Ways: The Best Of Hank Ballard & The Midnighters_
"Flatfoot Sam" Elmon Mickle _Elko Blues Vol. 1_
"Flat Foot Boogie" Albert Macon & Robert Thomas _Blues & Boogie From Alabama_

interview with Flat Folk Society founder Cornelius Brown

"My Boy Flat Top" Dorothy Collins _Get Happy!_
"Sam With The Showing Scalp Flat Top" Zappa/Beefheart/Mothers _Bongo Fury_
"(No One Listens To You When You've Got) Flat Hair" Mikrofisch _Masters Of The Universe_
"Flat-Chested Girl" Miles Dethmuffen _Clutter_
"Flat Girl" Chai _Pink_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by to talk about books about flat things

"Flat Tire" Albert King _The Complete Stax/Volt Soul Singles Volume 3 (1972-1975)_
"Flat Tire" Dale Watson & His Lone Stars _The Truckin' Sessions_
"Flat Tire" Dean Jones featuring The Felice Brothers _Rock Paper Scissors_
"Flat Tire" V.V. Lightbody _Make A Shrine Or Burn It_
"Flames & Flat Tires" Squirrel Flower _Planet (i)_

a discussion of flat affect Gary's anatomy teacher Dr. Fontanelle Phalange interrupts!

"Shaky Flat Blues" The Pointer Sisters _That's A Plenty_
"Flat Of Angles" The Fall _Dragnet_
"Harry's Flat" Wreckless Eric _The Donovan Of Trash_
"The Girls In The Flat Upstairs" Martin Newell _The Off White Album_
"Flat 19" The Merton Parkas _This Is Mod Volume 4: Modities_

a discussion of the book Flatland

"E's Flat Ah's Flat Too" Charles Mingus _Blues & Roots_
"Flatland, Part I" Ruth Golding _Flatland_
"Flatland" November Group _November Group_
"Flatland" Black Wine _Hollow Earth_
"Flatland" Rudy Ray Moore _Dolemite The Soundtrack_
"Le Plat Pays (The Flat Country)" Jacques Brel _Infiniment_
"The Flats Of Irony" Dear Nora _There Is No Home_

idioms with the word "flat"

"In The Flat Field" Bauhaus _In The Flat Field_
"Cleveland, The Flats" Allen Ginsberg _The Lion For Real_
"Flat Hand" Freakwater _Springtime_
"Tennessee Flat-Top Box" Johnny Cash _The Essential Johnny Cash_
"Flat On My Back" The Visitors _Miss_
"Flat On My Back" LA Tool & Die _Fashion For The Evildoer_

conclusion & goodbye

"Get Flat" Paul Blake & The Blood Fire Posse _Nice Up Dancee: The RAS Tapes 2_
"Flat Side" Museum Of Love _Life Of Mammals_
"Flat Line" Elk Bell _Republica d'fantAsia_

* "Flat Tire" by JeepersMedia is licensed under CC BY 2.0 


One note: this is the blog's 2700th post.  I wish I could've done something more special!  Oh well.

Monday, July 26, 2021

Whither A Flat Show?

(This is the flattest place on Earth! Image from here.)

Why a flat show?  You may well ask, why a theme-based radio show at all?  Why a radio show?  Why gather songs & travel to a radio station in the dark of night to play those songs & interview people & say dumb things in a studio?

The answer to the first question is, I don't remember.  The answer to the others is, I like doing such things.

What I do know if that I'll be live tonight at KBOO & I'll play songs about different kinds of flatness.  I'll talk to some folks, I'll talk to whoever is listening, I'll still be a little giddy that I'm allowed to be in a radio station at all.  I used to do this all the time!  It feels a lot more precious right now than it has.

Yes. A flat show.  Tonight from midnight to 3am.  On 90.7 fm KBOO in Portland.  Online everywhere at

& yes, the show will also be flat in the sense of stale.  It's Self Help Radio, after all.

Sunday, July 25, 2021

Preface To A Flat Show: Oh It's One Of Those Shows Again

(image from here.)

Yeah, yeah, it's another Self Help Radio based on a word as the theme rather than something that has one fixed meaning.  Flat can mean smooth-surfaced, or deflated, or lacking carbonation, or it can be an apartment or it can be a "note played a semitone lower than a natural," which is something I don't understand because I know very little about music theory & also it's in quotes because I took it from the Wiktionary.  It'll be one of those shows, get over it, whatever.

What I want to talk about is that image up there, which illustrates a fascinating article called "What If The Earth Was Flat?"  In case you don't read it, here are some spoilers:

Well, first, the reason our planet is a sphere is because of gravity, & if it were somehow flattened, gravity would turn it back to its roundish self.  As the article states, "Once you get rid of gravity, everything about our planet rapidly stops making sense."

But things like plate tectonics wouldn't work either, so a flat earth would have no earthquakes.

You know what?  Read the damn article.  It actually says, "Every explanation of the moon's existence involves gravity."  Did they tell that to the illustrator?  Because the earth is flat but the moon in that image is round.  Which makes me wonder - do flat earthers think the moon is flat too?

In this article, which asks that question, we get this fascinating response: "Davidson says he doesn't have any sense of what planets are made of or what shape they would be. 'I wouldn't go so far as to say everything's flat,' he said. The sun, moon, & planets, 'They appear to be spherical, they could be disks,' he added. 'I don't think it really matters too much,' he said. 'I just don't believe that we're on a sphere.'"


Will we talk a bit about flat earthers tomorrow night?  Who knows?  Not me!  Not yet anyway.  Still.  That moon in that picture up there.  Wow.