Friday, September 21, 2007

My Llama Is So Llovely!

TODAY on Self Help Radio: Syd Barrett's musical masterpieces intrepreted by the ne'er-do-wells he influenced. Just so you can see his light shining through their work.

IT'S ALSO the first day of KOOP's Fall Membership Drive. I suggest you give all you can to the best radio station in Austin. Otherwise, what good are you?

I SHOULD ALSO MENTION I'll be a guest at the Coldtowne Theater's Stool Pigeon Improv Comedy Show tomorrow night (September 22) at 8pm. I'd love for you to come out & watch me be very nervous & ridiculous in front of you.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I keep capitalizing the beginnings of these sentences, but it does seem to make it more formal. Like every paragraph is the first paragraph of a book or something.

But it doesn't work the same way when you capitalize the last WORDS OF A SENTENCE.

It kinda makes you feel like you're being yelled at or somehow condescended to. That's icky.


Thursday, September 20, 2007

I Dreamed I Saw Syd Barrett Last Night

He was eating ice cream, & was quite old. He seemed a little alarmed when he noticed I was looking at him. I'm pretty sure it was in Manchester, & not in Cambridge, where he seems to have lived most of his life, but I'm sure I was remembering a place from the most recent "Prime Suspect." I told my girlfriend, who was well in the dream but sick in real life, I said, "That's Syd Barrett." She wanted to go up to him & thank him for writing "The Gnome," but I told her he looked uncomfortable, so she waved & smiled & we turned to go. He waved back, to Magda, not to me, but did not smile.

The dream turned into a kind of scary adventure as I raced bicycles on the highway, but I wasn't on a bicycle, I was swimming through the asphalt, kind of kicking it to make myself go.

That has nothing to do with Syd Barrett, though, but I think you're sweet to have read this far.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Whither Syd Barrett?

The truth is, I don't really care much for Pink Floyd. (I know, even typing this blasphemy has caused waves of consternation to fly through college dorms rooms all over the world.) I knew about Syd Barrett before I knew exactly what his contribution to Pink Floyd was - his name was much, much more powerful in the musical circles I was investigating than the name "Pink Floyd" was. (I kinda wish the same was true with John Lennon's name. He's so much more than a "Beatle.")

Years after I had "The Madcap Laughs" & "Opel," some friends made me listen to "Piper At The Gates Of Dawn." I confess I wasn't as charmed as I should have been. "See Emily Play," "Vegetable Man," "Arnold Layne" - those songs were much better (on first listen) than the stuff on the record. I figured it had something to do the bad influence of the rest of the band (as if they didn't play on the singles!). It took a while for me to warm up to that disc.

More than anything, though, I was impressed by the folks who were influenced by Syd Barrett - Dan Treacy, Robyn Hitchcock, Martin Newell - people whose work seemed to begin at the very moment they heard a Syd Barrett song. How could I not eventually embrace the (almost literally) crazy genius whose ideas became dreams for some many musicians I loved?

I was going to do a Syd Barrett tribute show last year (he died, you know, in July 2006) but other things intruded - & since it's been a year, & since it'll be a Membership Drive show, it can be as special as I want it to be.

More about Syd is located here. I don't know if one should feel sad about his life - I think he understood how much he meant to everyone, at least vaguely so. Instead, we should celebrate the explosive, endless creativity he unleashed into the world. I, for one, will do it on Friday.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Preface To The Syd Barrett Tribute: When To Use Wondercum?

I just got some spam in my gmail account & the email was titled "When To Use Wondercum?" I am not a Darren Stevens type so I don't pretend to know how to sell stuff to the people (although I'd totally marry a witch if I could & not be a total dillweed about it), but doesn't "Wondercum" sound like, well, super special ejaculate, & not a product that would perhaps increase your yield when you have an orgasm?

That seems like an unfortunate marketing decision. Perhaps they are getting advice from the Nigerian spammers, who don't seem to know I am unbeliever, since they write me, ask me for my bank account information, & talk a lot about God with me.

Another question is this: "Wondercum," assuming it's the latter explanation - something that makes a gentleman who's in the final stages of the sexual excitement process produce a lot more semen than his regular paltry load - is that something that's a real problem in the bedrooms of America? Maybe in the porn business, but in my experience, which is probably not terribly substantial, I've never had a partner say to me, "Is that ALL the sperm you're going to produce tonight? Where do you keep the Wondercum!"

This has nothing to do with Syd Barrett, whose life & music I'll be celebrating this week on the very first Fall 2007 Membership Drive Show, & who never had a single problem with the ladies. At least not before 1971.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Your Big Tears Do Not Scare Me

Sailor! You've never loved like this before! Did we last meet at the Emmys?

Are you hoping that we'll have a fine romance like the first time ever? This could perhaps be true, if you're willing to listen to these three things I am wishing to be telling you:

1) There was once upon a time a radio show in which the host & two "guest-like" personages expounded upon listening. To listen, you really must just go to a web page called Self Help Radio Dot Net. It is perhaps easier than most, but more noisy than some. The show would be the show which originally aired September 14, 2007. It is called "Listening."

2) Your tastes may be more refined, like crude oil which isn't yet so crude. There are other radio shows at Self Help Radio Dot Net, one of which is brand new, as the original aired only just yesterday. It was a show called "Jamaican Gold" & it featured an imaginary Gary thought of "What reggae music were the punks of 1977-1979 listening to?" So I played some lovely roots reggae & dub & stuff. Yes, it's also available at Self Help Radio Dot Net.

3) If you live in the Austin area & would like to see Self Help Gary (as the host of this show calls himself & his self), he (which is me, so I don't know why I am talking about myself in the third person) (I mean, I'm not a professional athlete) I will be the "stool pigeon" for this event happening at the Coldtowne Theater this Saturday. It may be worthwhile to see me be so publicly humiliated. I will talk more about this (how could I not?) in the near future.

Go now! Listen to radio shows! See if I care!