Friday, July 19, 2013

Whither Make Me?

I was just writing some stuff for today's show & found this nice cartoon, from which I will read on the show.  It makes me realize that I have no idea how to make people do anything I want.  But I see how they make me do what they want.

I have met people who have followed advice like this (not necessarily about persuading folks) & really improved their lives.  I can never quite commit.  My tendency to be a lazy oaf overpowers everything.  I revert to type, as they say.  I wonder if, when I was thirteen, I had heard this advice & practiced it until it became a part of me, if I could have been an actual predator of a sort.  Damn!  Something more to regret!

You can hear what a failure I am today from 4 to 6pm (EST) on WRFL as I do Self Help Radio.  If you're in Lexington, it's on the radio at 88.1 fm.  If not, the link above will suffice.

I'll archive it later, as I archive all my dreadful mistakes, at self help radio dot yuck.

I can't make you listen, but maybe you can make me make you listen?

Preface To Make Me: Make Me Write Something Today

I bet you can't.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

My Lucky, Lucky Email


Dr. John Chan CC wrote me this recently:

I am Dr. John Chan C.C a South Korean Republic and a Director of Hang Seng Bank Ltd from the Office of the International Remittance Department, I have secretly confidentially funds transfer to your private account in your country.

I will like us to invest these funds in a profitable life investments in your country, which i will beg of you not to betrayed once these funds transfer to your account from our correspondent bank. Please if it interested reply me to this my private Email: (johnchan_c@aol.com) for more details. Thanks.

Dr. John Chan C.C

I didn't respond, so he wrote me again, four days later, with the exact same message.  Please don't respond to his private email!  He meant that just for me.  Once I find out some profitable life investments in my country, I'm sure I can get back to him.  It's just that, in the United States, we have only profitable death investments.

Also, Wayne Tang wrote to me yesterday an email entitled:

URGENT NOTICE TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS OWNER

An urgent notice!  I opened it immediately!  Here's what it said:

Sir,

This is an official request for legal representation on behalf of Usha Martin Ltd. Usha Martin Ltd is manufacturing company with principal interest in the manufacturing of wire rods, bright bars, steel wires, specialty wires, wire ropes, strand, conveyor cord, wire drawing and cable machinery. After a careful review, we decided to contact your law firm to represent our company in areas of collection. We would require your legal representation for our delinquent Customers and we are of the opinion that a reputable law firm like yours can represent us in collection of monies owed our company by overseas customers and also follow up with these accounts. We are of the understanding that a proper Attorney/Client agreement must be entered into by both parties and this will be done immediately we receive your response of acceptance.

Regards,
Wayne Tang
waynetang01@yahoo.com.ph

I am sad that he didn't get the news that Self, Help, & Radio, attorneys at law, were disbarred when it was discovered that we didn't go to law school but instead learned everything about the justice system from watching Boston Legal.

Also this past weekend, to my tremendous surprise, I won the lottery!  A lottery I never entered!  Here's the poop:

Subject:  COCA COLA COMPANY WORLDWIDE LTD.
From:  "COCA COLA"

Is it odd that a major corporation like Coca Cola (a company that has a bottling plant in Lexington that I am certain employs a fair number of our citizens) sends out its information from a site called "goshka.info"?  I should think they'd want to make sure people knew they were actually from coca-cola.com, their web presence.  Oh, I'm being too skeptical.  Let's see what I've won!

GOVERNMENT ACCREDITED LICENSED!!!
COCA COLA COMPANY WORLDWIDE LTD.
COCA COLA Programs & Events Department
COCA COLA company
P.O. Box 850
MANCHESTER MR2 8GD
TEL: +448719742699

Congratulation winner,

Your email address has won a cash prize of  Ј500,000.00  Five hundred thousand Great British pounds  GBP  in our end of the year Promotion 2013 COCA COLA COMPANY UK  International Email draw.
It is pending for your collection kindly fill the below information for claim.

VERIFICATION FORM

FULL NAME........
COMPANY NAME: ......
FULL ADDRESS:...........
SEX:............
AGE.......
OCCUPATION..............
TEL.............
COUNTRY.............
E-MAIL...........

Congratulations once again from all members and staff of this promotion.
Yours faithfully,
Contact: Richard .K. Anderson.
Email: cocacola.2013@outlook.com
Online coordinator for COCA COLA COMPANY WORLDWIDE LTD LOTTERY UK

500,000 Great British pounds!  That's a lot of money.  In Great British pounds, I mean.

Also, what happened to the goshka.info address?  Richard .K. Anderson (see how cool he is - he has a period before & after the K!) is now at outlook.com .  It seems extremely inefficient.  This probably explains the dire state of the American economy.

The nice thing is that I can use the money from the lottery win to try out profitable life investments to help Dr. John Chan CC find ways to use his money, & once that's settled, & I finish law school (no college debt for me!), I'll be able to represent Wayne Tang.

This was a good week.