Saturday, March 11, 2023

The Marryin' Kind

This awkward photo is what I did today - I officiated the wedding of my friends Alyssa & Jason. It was fun. I don't know how I did, but I'll ask if I can reproduce my first draft of the service. Meanwhile I am very tired & new to get some damn sleep.

Friday, March 10, 2023

Dallas (Again)

Picture taken from westbound I-30. Tonight. On the way home from Kalachandji's.

Yes, I'm back in the Dallas metroplex for the first time since May of 2021 (when I gave the eulogy at my mother's memorial), but this time for a more happy occasion - friends from KNON have asked me to officiate their wedding WHAT? it's true.

Now I just gotta figure out what to say IT'S TOMORROW AFTERNOON?

Oh I am so fucked right now.

Tuesday, March 07, 2023

Self Help Radio 030723: Lifetimes

We only get one lifetime each but there are two slightly different versions of this week's episode of Self Help Radio (not counting the XRAY version that will happen later this week!). There's the episode that aired last night on KBOO - I had technical difficulties for the first few minutes of the show, probably as a result of me pushing the wrong button - you can hear that at the KBOO website. I edited that embarrassing stuff out when I put the show on the Self Help Radio website. (You'll need a username, SHR, & a password, selfhelp, to listen to the sanitized version.)

Does this mean Self Help Radio has two lifetimes? Or is it like our brains often change our memories so we don't come across as the fool in our life story? & what if that is another kind of lifetime? Alas, none of those questions are answered on the show. It's really just the usual nonsense & lots of songs.

Also money beggin' - it's KBOO's Winter Membership Drive. Help us out if you can!

Meanwhile - the stuff that happens on the show is below. Thanks for listening & existing during my lifetime.

Self Help Radio Lifetime Show
"Dream Of A Lifetime" The Flamingos _The Complete Chess Masters_
"Once In A Lifetime" Bobby Darin _Vegas Baby!_
"Guarantee (For A Lifetime)" Mary Wells _Vintage Stock_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"Once In A Lifetime" Talking Heads _Remain In Light_
"In My Lifetime" The Flying Lizards _Fourth Wall_
"Alive (For Once In My Lifetime)" The Psychedelic Furs _Beautiful Chaos: Greatest Hits Live_
"Just Once In A Lifetime" Brenda & The Tabulations _Dry Your Eyes_
"Lifetime Man" Oma Heard _The Complete Motown Singles | Vol. 4: 1964_

interview with Chad Brothers, who has lived several lifetimes

"It Took A Lifetime" Cult Of Youth _Love Will Prevail_
"Lifetime At The Sink" The Adventure Babies _Camper Van EP_
"How Many Lifetimes" Alan Vega _New Raceion_
"I.O.U. (A Lifetime Of Love)" The Fashions _The Northern Soul Story 11 (The Girl Groups)_
"In My Own Lifetime" Sammy Davis Jr. _Portrait Of Sammy Davis, Jr._

behind the scenes of a Lifetime Cable Network pitch meeting # 1

"Once In A Lifetime" The Bad Shepherds _Yan, Tyan, Tethera, Methera!_
"Hope Of A Lifetime" The Milk Carton Kids _The Ash & Clay_
"Lifetime Of Shame" Jimmie Heap & The Melody Masters _Release Me_
"Lifetime" Nicole Saboune _Miman_
"Each Day Is A Lifetime" David Ruffin _"David" Unreleased LP & More_

behind the scenes of a Lifetime Cable Network pitch meeting # 2

"Once In A Lifetime Thing" Gladys Knight & The Pips _Presenting Gladys Knight & The Pips_
"A Lifetime" Brothers Of Soul _I Guess That Don't Make Me A Loser_
"Lifetime Problems" Dicks _1980-1986_
"Chance Of A Lifetime" Material Issue _International Pop Overthrow_
"A Different Lifetime" Spearmint _A Different Lifetime_

behind the scenes of a Lifetime Cable Network pitch meeting # 3

"Once In A Lifetime" Wasis Diop _Toxu_
"Another Day, Another Lifetime" The David _Another Day, Another Lifetime_
"Lifetime Day" Eternity's Children _Eternity's Children_
"In A Lifetime" The Temptations _Emperors Of Soul_
"In Our Lifetime" Marvin Gaye _In Our Lifetime_

Gary reads from his memoir "A Lifetime In Radio"
A surprise call from 'This Is Your Lifetime'!

"Lifetime Achievement Award" Big Dipper _Supercluster: The Big Dipper_
"Death Of A Lifetime" Ferns _On Botany_
"Lifetime Experience" The Smoking Trees _The Archer & The Bull_
"Once In A Lifetime" Wolfsheim _Spectators_
"One Lifetime Away" Paul Haig _The Warp Of Pure Fun_

conclusion & goodbye

"Once In A Lifetime" Angelique Kidjo _Remain In Light_
"Once In A Lifetime Of Lies" Louis Philippe & The Night Mail _Thunderclouds_
"Lifetime" Bob Mould _Life & Times_

Monday, March 06, 2023

Whither Lifetimes?

(Image from

Okay, look, I know that the image above is about animals' life spans. But the span of a life is a lifetime, isn't it? No, I won't have any songs about life spans. You're missing the point. A lifetime is kind of a hard thing to capture in a single graphic, but a life span is easily grasped. Your lifetime may fit perfectly into what your expected life span is - but it can be longer! I don't want to argue this with you. I'm allowed to use an image showing life spans before I talk about a radio about lifetimes.

Holy smokes. I can't believe I'm getting to do the lifetime show! Also, it's not a Lifetime show, meaning the cable television network. While I think Self Help Radio would make a great Lifetime movie, I don't think I skew towards their demographic. Anyway, I didn't get to do this show last week, so I'm doing it tonight. It seems a lifetime since I planned. It'll probably feel even moreso after it's done.

When is it happening? Why at the show's regular time, midnight to 3am on 90.7fm KBOO in Portland, everywhere. Will it be the culmination of what may seem a lifetime in radio? Oh no. Wow, no. Not at all. No.

Sunday, March 05, 2023

Preface To Lifetimes (Again): An Appropriate Tweet

Today I share with you a tweet from 2018 which is an amazing response to one of those tweeters who ask questions that people want to answer.  If you can't read the image, the question is "What's been discontinued or canceled in your lifetime that you wish would make a comeback?"

The answer is, "60% of animal life on Earth."

The tweeter is still active on Twitter, or the ruins of Twitter as it's now called, & you can follow the account @botandy. If you're so inclined.

Oh, & I should add that I never respond to questioning tweets like that even if I can think of something clever to say because I don't think anyone really wants my opinion. & it's weird throwing shit like that out into the digital void. But I guess a respondent can say, "Hey - he asked!"