Saturday, October 15, 2022

Three Years Ago

On this very day in 2019, I was in the XRAY studios - why? For what reason? & I took this picture of myself in the glass that separates the two studios there.

Oh hey! I just looked. I was doing a show at XRAY at the time!  It was on Tuesday mornings from 2-4am. I was very happy to be doing it even if no one were listening.  I had only been doing it for two weeks before this.  & like every radio show I do, I must have been thinking, "This will not last very long. I need to document this!"

Those pre-pandemic days seem so weird & special now. & it's even weirder to think it's just been three years. Because I feel like I've aged decades since then. Which of course makes it even harder to think about what is normal now.

Friday, October 14, 2022

Weak Chin

(image from here.)

All of my failures in life come from having a weak chin.
Now I just don't think that's true.
My father had a weak chin & his father before him.
What about your mother?
You keep my mother out of this!
All right, all right.
Even my dog has a weak chin.
But surely that's on you.
What do you mean?
You picked the dog, right?
You knew about the chin before you took the pup home.
Say, whose side are you on here?
What sides are there?
A guy says he has a weak chin & you wanna blame him for his choice of dogs!
The truth is, I don't think you have a weak chin.
But look at it!
Yes, I am looking at it.  I understand it's not the strongest of chins...
Told you so!
But it's far from the weakest chin I've seen.
A ringing endorsement!
What sort of regimen do you have it on?
Regimen?  What do you mean?
For your chin.
What do you mean, chin regimen?
If you have weak muscles, you exercise. Same for your chin.
Exercise my chin?
Even with superior genes, one must work toward a strong chin.
This is something no one ever told me.
What did they tell you?
Go to a plastic surgeon!
Nonsense. Find a personal trainer.
A personal chin trainer?
It will serve you well.
Hey. Sorry about all the self-pity earlier.
No apologies necessary.  Just look after that chin!
Will do.  Thanks.

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Self Help Radio 101122: Trampolines

Oh look. The trampoline in the yard is unused. Hey! I've never seen a trampoline so close to a house before! I bet if I got a powerful bounce going... Oh no! They put up some of that protective netting! That's no fun! But maybe I can grab hold of a nearby tree...

It's been ages since I've been on a trampoline. I think I was just out of college. There were kids - my nieces & nephews & their friends - bouncing around, having a blast, & I felt kind of stupid. One of the kids asked if I could do a flip, & in my head I replied, "Not since my mother told me to stop doing it or I'll break my neck!"

Lots of trampoline songs & lots of people talking about trampolines on this show. This shouldn't be considered a guarantee, but it's pretty unlikely listening to this show will result in spinal injury. So please don't do any flips while listening. Thank you.

The show can be found at both the KBOO website & the Self Help Radio website. Two notes about downloading from the show's website: one, you'll need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access the file, & two, you can download it as well as listen online.  Lots of stuff happens on the show, it's all noted below.

Be careful!

Self Help Radio Trampoline Show
"Trampolina" Russ Conway _The Hits & More...: The Party Pop Stylings Of Russ Conway_
"Nancy's Trampoline" The Four Seasons _The Best Of Robbee Records_
"Trampoline" The Spencer Davis Group _The Best Of The Spencer Davis Group_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"Trampoline" Julian Cope _Saint Julian_
"Trampoline" Guided By Voices _Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia_
"Trampoline" New Radiant Storm King _My Little Bastard_
"Trampoline" Tree Fort Angst _Last Page In The Book Of Love_
"Trampoline" Bill Lloyd _Set To Pop_

interview with product safety expert Albert Connor

"Trampoline" The Greenberry Woods _Rapple Dapple_
"Trampoline" Damien Jurado _Trampoline_
"Trampoline" Joe Henry _Trampoline_
"Angel On A Trampoline" The Aluminum Group _Plano_
"Trampoline" Calamine _Calamine EP_

interview with trampoline enthusiast Barry Jarvis III

"Trampoline Girl" Number Girl _Sappukei_
"Trampoline" Underwoods _Natural Memory_
"Trampoline" Rachael Sage _Illusion's Carnival_
"Trampoline" Page France _Hello, Dear Wind_
"Static Trampoline" Chris Pierce _Static Trampoline_

interview with Mothers Against Trampoline Harm founder Rhonda Masters

"Trampoline" The Grates _Gravity Won't Get You High_
"Trampoline" The 99th Floor _Eclectic Guitar_
"Trampoline" Forest Sun _So Nice_
"Trampoline" The Clarks _Restless Days_
"My Trampoline" Peter Himmelman _My Trampoline_

interview with amateur astronaut Buzz Watkins

"Traveling By Trampoline" The Flower Machine _Lavender Lane_
"Trampoline" Weezer _Death To False Metal_
"Trampoline" Penny Century _Friends & Family_
"Trampolining" The Wombats _This Modern Glitch (10th Anniversary Edition)_
"Trampoline" Birds Of Chicago _Birds Of Chicago_

the secret truth about trampolines Courtney with a q interrupts with a call

"Trampoline Girl" The Domestics _Little Darkness_
"Trampoline" Latvian Radio _Until Tomorrow Gets In The Way_
"Trampoline" Mother Feather _Mother Feather_
"Field Of Trampolines" Shotgun Jimmie _Field Of Trampolines_
"Trampoline" The Front Bottoms _Going Grey_

conclusion & goodbye

"Trampoline To Me" Kindsight _Swedish Punk_
"Trampoline" Alex Concato _Hipster Songs 2_
"Trampoline (Joey Negro Jumpa Mix)" Tamara's World _Trampoline - Remixed_

Monday, October 10, 2022

Whither Trampolines?

(image from here)

You ask the question: why a radio show about trampolines?
My answer is the question: why not a radio show about trampolines?
There's another question: have you ever heard a radio show about trampolines?
& yet another pertinent ask: are there enough songs to make a radio show about trampolines?
Then you think: oh yeah Gary'll probably have some silly interviews too.
You're right! There are enough songs plus there'll be silly interviews on Self Help Radio tonight!
A show about trampolines from midnight to 3am on 90.7 fm KBOO in Portland & online at

But then.  As you make plans to perhaps listen.  You think yourself.
Hey! He didn't tell us why he's doing a radio show about trampolines!

Sunday, October 09, 2022

Preface To Trampoline: The Actual Anniversary

Exactly twenty years ago today, I left my work at the University of Texas around noon to take a bus to KOOP radio in downtown Austin.  I had been volunteering at KOOP for almost two years & had despaired of ever getting a radio show there.  In fact, I had been given a Friday morning 9-10am show at first, but, well - I think I've told the story here before - have I?  I kind of allude to it in this post from ten years ago, but I've never quite told the whole story.  Suffice it to say, a deal was worked out & on October 9, 2002, I programmed the very first Self Help Radio.

My first "logo" was the one above, a picture of an old lady listening (I think) to the radio.  It was taken from an old psychology textbook I found in the hallway one time which I used to use for all kinds of web stuff I did in the 1990s.  It would never have occurred to me to actually design my own logo.  Like I've said previously, I wasn't even sure I was going to be doing this show for very long.

One thing is true: I think I have recordings of all the shows I did, or tried to do.  I very rarely recorded my college radio shows & I am sad about that.  Although I do remember when I did record them, I was very self-conscious that I was recording them & it made me not enjoy the show as much as when I didn't record them.  In any event, although they are not all digitized, I have recordings of pretty much every Self Help Radio I've done.  Give or take one or two.  Or eleven.

Did I celebrate the anniversary?  In my own way - working on tomorrow's show.  Which I need to get back to.  But twenty years, that's a milestone, & I am amazed I've made it.  Let's see how long I can continue into the dumb future.