Saturday, January 30, 2010

Preface To Twilight: A New Day & Time For Self Help Radio?!?!

It's true. Because the new schedule for WMUL begins this week, Self Help Radio has moved. The show will be on Mondays at midnight during the spring, live on the air on the fm dial at 88.1, & of course archived the next day at like usual. & after Self Help Radio, the shows Dickenbock Electronics & Sugar Substitute will air alternating weeks, at 1:30 am.

By the way, Mondays at midnight means Tuesday morning, not Sunday night. Technically I guess the show is happening at midnight on Tuesday, but since I won't have gone to sleep, it's like it'll be Monday night. So, Monday at midnight.

Is this better than being on in the morning? Who knows? We'll see. Exciting things are happening at WMUL - some time this semester, the entire station will be entering the late 20th century & streaming live online. That's pretty cool. But now I have to go work on the show - it's happening two days early!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

If Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal Of The Day...

Then Self Help Radio's show about breakfast is the most important show to listen to today. & every day!

Seriously, I just thought that up. Why aren't I being paid by the big boys?

Also seriously, the show is seriously good. It's at You'll need to make the coffee yourself.

I might come over if it's a vegan breakfast...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

It's A Little Late To Be Thinking About Breakfast

But boy, I am. I should probably get some sleep & actually have breakfast before I do my show about breakfast tomorrow at 1pm on 88.1 fm WMUL in Huntington, although I will archive it later of course on the Self Help Radio website so you can listen to it at a more breakfasty time if you miss it &/or don't live in Huntington. I warn you, though. My biscuits suck.

Here's something I'm doing but for some reason not telling anyone: I have a Tumbler blog. It's of course at but it's mainly silly pictures & videos. Actually, that's all it will be. Maybe that's why I'm not telling anyone?

Okay, I'm signing off. Listen if when you can can. It will make you feel as though you're covered in syrup.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Whither Breakfast?

This is simple. Camille asked me if I had ever done a breakfast show, & I said no, no, I hadn't. Then I thought, well I should. So I will. & I'll dedicate it to Camille.

Who's Camille? What? You don't know Camille? She was even on the radio with me once. Or was it twice? She did a podcast with me too! You really should know Camille. She was in Austin but some Prince Romeo married her & took her to Memphis. Anyway, you should really go meet Camille. She's awesome.

& breakfast is on her!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Preface To Breakfast: Vegan Pancakes For Everyone!

The meanest cat in the neighborhood has only three legs, but that doesn't explain why she's so mean. Some say she was just born that way, but the local feline psychologists, who've been close enough to her to hear her grumbling purr, suggest that she wasn't loved much as a kitten, no, not even by her mother.

The leg, incidentally, was lost in a well-publicized spat with an immigrant cat who stupidly thought she could set up a catnip house in the this neck of the woods. The meanest cat in the neighborhood waged bloody war with that interloper & the trained dogs (for all catnip dealers inevitably use thugs like boxers or pit bulls to do their dirty work) brought in as muscle. The meanest cat in the neighborhood lost the leg choking a particularly nasty rottweiler, but even trailing blood she forced the drug dealers out. That, of course, is the subject of the Caldecott Medal-winning children's book "Cat On The Wire."

In any event, the meanest cat in the neighborhood finished her patrols this morning & noticed something odd. There was a sign tacked to the side of telephone pole at the bottom of the hill which read: Vegan Pancakes For Everyone!

(Of course the cat could read! All cats know how to read. Generally speaking, though, they hate English text. They really, really miss hieroglyphics.)

The cat did a double take, or chewed a little on the fur between her naughty bits & her inner thigh. Then she read again, because cats have notoriously bad memories: Vegan Pancakes For Everyone!

She called her friend Sherri, who was a waitress at a vegan cafe in Columbus, but Sherri was probably sleeping it off, since it's Sunday &, as Sherri often points out, "Vodka is vegan!" So she didn't answer the phone.

(Of course cats have cell phones! They just don't call you.)

The meanest cat in the neighborhood just wasn't certain whether the sign was supposed to be a call to action or a wish list or even an indicator of a delicious treat at some event, restaurant or cafe - it didn't say anything else. This made the meanest cat in the neighborhood so angry she hissed at some squirrels who weren't doing anything but will admit that, as they ran away, they peed a little. The meanest cat in the neighborhood shook her head & turned around to go home. The sky told her it was about ten in the morning or thereabouts, so she had to get started or breakfast time would be over soon.

Because even though she was the meanest cat in the neighborhood, she felt it important that everyone trusted signs. Otherwise who would stop at a stop sign? Or leave a house with a no soliciting sign alone? Or detour when a detour was required?

She jumped into someone's window, found the kitchen, gathered the materials, & began to prepare vegan pancakes.

For everyone.