Friday, March 31, 2023


(Some weirdo on the Freeform Portland Discord)

On Tuesday morning, I did my last Self Help Radio (for now) on KBOO. I believe I have been doing the show in the midnight to 3am slot for well over two years now - since the Fall of 2020. Since perhaps the middle of 2021 I've been doing it live in the KBOO studios.

The thing is, I never really wanted Self Help Radio to be three hours long. It's not been easy to fill 180 minutes with a particular theme - & I've spoken before about how I dislike "broad" themes - like cars or colors or whatever - I like a little bit of a challenge. But challenging is what it has become.

You might not know this but I've also been doing a two-hour version of the KBOO show on XRAY on Saturdays. It seemed to make sense - streamline the show for a different audience - but I've started to feel like that was cheating. As well I was doing both shows live. It was a tad boring for me.

It's been kind of exhausting as well schlepping up to KBOO on Monday nights. With the prospect of Freeform Portland opening its new studio, I decided on a change. Bear with me.

Self Help Radio is moving back to Freeform Portland. It'll happen (live! at the Freeform Portland studios!) from noon to 2pm on Thursdays. But wait! Don't I already have a show there now?

Yes, & the last episode of The Dickenbock Report aired yesterday. I am moving (as of next week) the Dickenbock Report to Saturday mornings, 5 to 7am, on XRAY. Where my two-hour Self Help Radio redo has been.

What about those three hours on Monday night/Tuesday morning? I don't really want to give them up! So I am doing a new show at this time. Premiering midnight Monday is a general format show I am calling Corporate Standardized Programming. It will be recorded. I'll still live tweet the show but won't be going up there & being extremely exhausted all day Tuesday.

To sum up, Gary's week of radio will, starting Monday, be:
Tuesdays midnight to 3am: Corporate Standardized Programming (on KBOO)
Thursdays noon to 2pm: Self Help Radio (on Freeform Portland)
Saturdays 5 to 7am: The Dickenbock Report (on XRAY)

The XRAY & KBOO shows will be archived at their respective sites, & I'll probably archive all three at the Self Help Radio website.

Yeah, switcheroo implies something sneaky, & this took a while to pull together - the various programming folks at the three stations were all very sweet - but I couldn't think of a better word!

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Self Help Radio 032823: Instant Radio Show

As announced this morning, Self Help Radio's "Instant Radio Show" is the last episode of Self Help Radio on KBOO for now. It was a program that should've been a bit more clever - instead, you know, I just played a lot of songs that used the word "instant." I also talked to some folks like I do, I had a segment about idioms, & otherwise filled three hours the best I could.

What happens now with Self Help Radio? It's going to be on a different station next week. I'll talk about that on Friday. For now, be aware you can listen (for one last time!) at or (like usual) at As usual, the latter needs a username & password (SHR + selfhelp respectively) but at least it can be downloaded. Everything that happened on the show is linked below.

Three hours a week was hard! I can't believe I lasted as long as I did.

Self Help Radio Instant Radio Show
"Instant Man" Ronnie Self _Bop-A-Lena_
"Instant Happy" Don Ho _Instant Happy_
"Instant Night" Beauty Pill _Instant Night_

introduction & definitions

"Instant Replay" Dan Hartman _Step Back & Boogie_
"Long Live Instant Pandemonium" Robert Pollard _Of Course You Are_
"Instant Disassembly" Parquet Courts _Sunbathing Animal_
"Instant Flame" Grape Room _Heart Of Gum_
"Instant Nightmare!" The Dears _Lovers Rock_

interview with Jason Lemon of Instant Karma Unltd.

"Instant Karma!" John Lennon _The John Lennon Collection_
"Instant Party Mixture" The Who _Maximum As & Bs (The Complete Singles)_
"Instant Mashed Potato" Chris Knox _Songs Of You & Me_
"Instant Hit" The Slits _Cut_
"Instant Club Hit (You'll Dance To Anything)" The Dead Milkmen _Death Rides A Pale Cow (The Ultimate Collection)_

interview with Andy Jett of Instant Psychedelics

"Instant Reaction" Clarence Carter _Testifyin'_
"Instant Love" The Main Ingredient _Brotherly Love (The RCA Anthology)_
"In An Instant" System Exclusive _System Exclusive_
"Instant Feeling" Aerial FX _Watching The Dance_
"Instant Weight Loss" Sparks _Angst In My Pants_

interview with Charles The Dragon Tamer

"Instant Tunes" XTC _White Music_
"(Do The) Instant Mash" Joe Jackson _Look Sharp!_
"Instantly Yours" Bill Nelson _Do You Dream In Colour?_
"Of The Instant" Gang Of Four _Songs Of The Free_
"Instant Coffee Baby" The Wave Pictures _Instant Coffee Baby_


"Instant Knowledge" The Asteroids _Life On A Asteroid_
"Instant Doppelgängers" Surfer Blood _Snowdonia_
"Past Tense Hopes & Instant Fears On 42nd Street" 39 Clocks _Subnarcotic_
"ACME Instant Dehydrated Boulder Kit" Severed Heads _Goodbye Tonsils_
"Instantaneous Decisions" Sun City Girls _Libyan Dream_

a "big announcement"

"Instant Love" Chance Gordon _Instant Love_
"Instant Love" The Monzas _There Ain't Nothing Like Shaggin' (The Secret History Of Carolina Beach Music)_
"Instant Happiness" The Bare Facts _"No Tease..." (Primi-Teen Pounders • Inept, Outta-Tune Teen Romp From The (w)Rec(k) Room!)_
"Instant Love" Bob Leers _Rock-A-Billy Boys_
"Instant Reaction" The Go _Don't Take Her Away_

conclusion & goodbye

"Side One" Jimmy Nelson _Jimmy Nelson's "Instant Ventriloquism"_

Monday, March 27, 2023

Whither Instant Radio Show?

(image by David Shrigley)

Tonight's theme is "Instant Radio Show." Will I show you a simple way to make a radio show? Nope! Will I play a lot of songs that use the word "instant"? Yep!

C'mon, you know my show is dumb. Always assume the simplest, most literal possible scenario.

It's on tonight midnight to 3am Portland time on 90.7fm &  If you listen live you'll hear an important announcement late in the show!

Sunday, March 26, 2023

Preface To Instant Radio Show: Carnation Instant Breakfast

(image from here)

As a child, I watched a lot of television. We were very poor, & mostly we ate junk food. It made me desire the junk food I saw on television - well, any food I saw on television, really. But the more novel the better. Case in point: Carnation Instant Breakfast.

The Wikipedia tells us, "Carnation-brand Instant Breakfast (Renamed Carnation Breakfast Essentials in 2022)* was introduced in 1964. It is a powdered instant drink that is manufactured with protein, vitamins & minerals & sugar. It is typically prepared with milk, & is available in different flavors, such as chocolate, vanilla, & strawberry. Powdered forms are marketed in individual-serving packets & in cans. Carnation also manufactures prepared bottled instant breakfast drinks in liquid form."

For the life of me, I can't recall if I ever had Carnation Instant Breakfast. But boy when I found out about it, I wanted it. It's just not the sort of thing my mom would buy for us - "You have chocolate milk," she might say, even if I explained it wasn't just chocolate milk.

Was there a commercial for Carnation Instant Breakfast that was showed during Saturday morning cartoons? I don't know. At some point, I stopped seeing the commercials, & I hardly ever thought about Carnation Instant Breakfast again. Until this week, thinking about this show. I wonder if it even still existed. & it does, sort of. It's called something else.

Doesn't Instant Breakfast sound like the name of an early 70s prog band tho?

* Italics mine.