Don't - Not In The Grass

Bad grammar & misspellings are slightly more fun to point out when they're in public places.  This picture was taken two years ago on this day here in Portland.  It encourages me to check with someone before I put a sign out, no matter what.  It of course begs the question, where am I supposed to dog shit, if not on the grass?

Interestingly, I took this picture about six months ago, also in our neighborhood:

Sad for all the green recycling bins mistaken for "a trash."  But at least I now know I should dog shit at home.

Fold Like Origami

(This image, from here, is the first that comes up in a image search for origami.)

It is true that I don't much about that other radio show I do, The Dickenbock Report on Freeform Portland, here on this blog.  It's mainly because the Dickenbock Report isn't Self Help Radio.  But the truth, except for the dumb "news reader" aspect of it, it's much more like Self Help Radio was in its first few years than it is now.  I didn't intend for that to happen - I wanted there to be more different segments - but it started to feel more right if the entire show was focused on a single theme.

For example, the show yesterday was on National Candy Day, so every song on the show was called "Candy."  That's something I have tried to do on SHR - in fact, the show this week, with the theme "Vacations," featured for the first ninety minutes all songs called "Vacation" - something that doubtless interests me more than any listener.  But it's next week's show that is kind of fascinating.

November 11 is Veteran's Day, but I didn't want to play songs about war or veterans being mistreated, so it was intriguing that it's also National Origami Day.  But.  Are there enough songs about origami that I can make a show out of it?

Perhaps.  My big thing is that I remember a song with the lyric "fold just like origami" & I can't find it anywhere.  But.  I am thinking I can pull it off.  Despite not knowing what song uses that exact phrase.  Because there are lots of songs that say "fold like origami" but that's not how the lyrics plays in my head.  There's a "just" there.

Anyway, that's all I'll say about the show I affectionately refer to as "The Dick Report."  It's on Thursdays at 8am on Freeform Portland.  It's kind of like Self Help Radio but it isn't.  & next week it might be about origami?!?

Self Help Radio 110221: Vacations

Do you need a vacation?  Wouldn't that be nice, especially as it seems to have become cold & rainy despite all objections?  If you can, please take a vacation!  If you can't, perhaps take a vacation show - which is this week's Self Help Radio.  Yes, it might be as dreary & dirty as your average highway motel, but at least no one's gotten bedbugs from a radio show!  (Not yet anyway.)

There's no air conditioning, pool or cable, but the first half of the show features songs just called "Vacation."  Why that would be a draw I'm not sure but it's the sort of accomplishment obscure radio deejays pride themselves on because no one gives them any encouragement.  Imagine what the show would be like if I were loved!  Oh, let's face it - there wouldn't be a show anymore.

How did I get from there to here?  I'm supposed to be talking about this week's show!  It's about vacations, it aired this morning on KBOO, & you can listen to it now & wherever (even on vacation!) at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  As usual, if you use the latter, remember the username (SHR) & the password (selfhelp).  What happens on the show is below.

Happy travels!

Self Help Radio Vacations Show

"Vacation" Connie Francis _Dreamboats & Petticoats_

"Vacation" Textones _I Can't Fight It 7"_

"Vacation" Critical Mass _Doctor Death's Volume IV: The Marvels Of Insect Life_

introduction & definitions (featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000)

"Vacation" The Frogs _Unsealed: A Tribute To The Go-Go's_

"Vacation" The Concretes _Boyoubetterunow_

"Vacation" Duck Hunt _International Hip Swing_

"Vacation" Freezepop _Freezepop Forever_

"Vacation" The Gay _You Know The Rules_

a report from Self Help Radio Travel Correspondent Orville Francis

"Vacation (feat. J-Live)" Jazz Liberatorz _Clin D'Oeil_

"Vacation" Aaron Espe _Songs From A Small Town_

"Vacation" Beach Fossils _Beach Fossils_

"Vacation" Mermaids _Tropsicle_

"Vacation" The Blank Tapes _Vacation_

interview with Gary's radio friend Don

"Vacation" Onward Chariots _Take Me To Somewhere_

"Vacation" Florist _Holdly_

"Vacation" Chris Staples _Golden Age_

"Vacation" Sobs _Telltale Signs_

"Vacation" Pynkie _# 37_

a Self Help Radio rerun: Chuck talks about tourist films (from back in March)

"Endless Vacation" Ramones _Too Tough To Die_

"Felt Just Like Vacation" Bomb The Music Industry! _Vacation_

"Vacation Town" The Front Bottoms _Going Grey_

"The Meaney's Summer Vacations" Kevin Meaney _That's Not Right_

"Punk Vacation" Places To Hide _Strange Lyfe_

a discussion of popular vacation destinations

"Vacation Blues" T-Bone Walker _The Chronological T-Bone Walker 1947_

"Bo's Vacation" Bo Diddley _Bo Diddley Is A... Lover_

"Your Mind Is On Vacation" Mose Allison _Allison Wonderland: The Mose Allison Anthology_

"Permanent Vacation" Marion Sodd _Northern Soul Fever Volume Two_

"I Need A Vacation" Jim Backus _Andy & Pat's Groovy Cosmic Love Hour Record Collection (Funky 45s)_

"Vacation Song" Ruth Wallis _For Sophisticates Only_

a discussion of hip vacation idioms

"Natty On Vacation" Big Joe _At The Control_

"Useful Phrases While On Vacation In Russia (Introduction To Spoken Russian)" Eugene Mirman _I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)_

"Vacation In Tehran" The Judy's _Washarama_

"Two-Week Vacation" The Embarrassment _Heyday 1979-83_

"Summer Vacation" Presidents Eleven _Behind The Banana Curtain 1975-2000_

"Island Vacation" Louise Burns _Mellow Drama_

conclusion & goodbye

"Sad Vacation" Johnny Thunders _Hurt Me_

"Al's Vacation" Shack _Zilch_

"Big Vacation" Dressy Bessy _Come Out, Come Out_

"No Vacation" The Apples In Stereo _Travellers In Space & Time_

"Take A Vacation!" The Young Veins _Take A Vacation!_

"Brak's Hawaiian Vacation" Brak _Space Ghost's Surf & Turf_

Whither Vacations?

(image found here)

Do people vacation in November? Can we say for the sake of a radio show that they do?  Thanks!

Since people vacation in November, it seemed appropriate for Self Help Radio to spend some time playing songs & talking about vacation.  It's been a while since I've been on a vacation myself, unless you want to consider this pandemic a vacation, which I do not.  But it's true that the show itself is a kind of vacation from the intense five-guest programs I've been doing recently.  Just two guests tonight!  & maybe I'll banter with a computer or something.

Self Help Radio's vacation show starts promptly at midnight tonight & lasts until 3am.  Only three hours?!?  If that's all I can get, I'll take it.  It'll happen on 90.7fm KBOO in Portland & online everywhere at kboo.fm.  Remember to take some snaps.  You'll want to show people where you've gone afterwards.

Preface To Vacations: Is Halloween Over Yet?

(image by Mr. Joshua)

It's over, yeah?  The kids are all inside, deep in their sugar comas?  The parents have self-medicated?  We've turned off the lights & let the blow-up things deflate?  Is that true?

You see, I didn't want to write about this week's show until Halloween was over, but also I didn't want to wait until tomorrow.  It's a whole new show tomorrow.  Nothing to do with Halloween.  It'll be a show about vacations.  I will talk more about it tomorrow.

Damn it!  The doorbell!  More kids!  I wanted to save the rest of this candy!