Self Help Radio 062119: Fuzz

(The logo got all fuzzy!)

You'll have to excuse me, all this fuzz has left me a bit fuzzy.

So much fuzz on this show.  Perhaps I'll need to take it to the dry cleaner.  In any event, here it is, what else is there to say about it: songs about fuzz, talk about fuzz, an interview with some crazy person who is pretending to be an inanimate object, a phone call from the show's lawyer - the truth is, even though I just went through it, it's all a bit fuzzy now.  I need to lie down.

Listen now at Self Help Radio dot net.  Use this username: SHR.  Use this password: selfhelp.  Look at what was played & said below.

My only regret: I never once of the show uttered the phrase, "Jinkers, fellas, it's the fuzz!"

Probably for good reason.

Self Help Radio Fuzz Show

"Fuzzy Patterns" The Tages _We Can Fly, Vol. 2_
"Fuzzy" Dressy Bessy _Little Music_
"A Fuzzy Feeling" Bromheads Jacket _On The Brain_

introduction & definitions

"I'm In Your Mind Fuzz" King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard _I'm In Your Mind Fuzz_
"The Fuzz" The Bloody Hollies _If Footmen Tire You_
"Fuzzies" Adam Newman _Fuzzies_
"Fuzzy Wuzzy" The Three Peppers _1937-1940_
"Fuzzy Wuzzy (Wuz A Bear)" Rosemary Clooney _Memories Of You_

interview with Phil T. Ball

"Caught By The Fuzz" Supergrass _I Should Coco_
"Shot Down By the Fuzz" The Supernovas _Don't Believe In Heroes EP_
"Buzz With The Fuzz" Chris Farlow & The Thunderbirds _The Weekend Starts Here_
"Salvation Fuzz" Monty Python _The Monty Python Matching Tie & Handkerchief_
"The Fuzz" Ellis _The Fuzz_

phone call from Self Help Radio counsel Bobcat Sloan

"Green Fuz" Randy Alvey & Green Fuz _Pebbles Volume 2_
"Jaw Cracker Fuzz" Membranes _Everyone’s Going Triple Bad Acid, Yeah! (The Complete Membranes 1980-1993)_
"Monster Fuzz" The Cambodian Space Project _Electric Blue Boogaloo_
"Slow Fuzz" Alec Bathgate _The Indifferent Velvet Void_
"Sad Fuzz" Ty Segall _Melted_

a discussion of the fuzz effect in music

"The Fuzz" Grady Martin _I Got A Woman: Gems From The Decca Vaults USA_
"The 2,000 Pound Bee" The Ventures _Radical Guitars_
"The Fuzz" Link Wray & The Wraymen _Mr Guitar_
"King Fuzz" Davie Allan & The Arrows _Blues Theme_
"Fuzz" Alex Keenan _Tell Her You Love Her 7"_

a discussion of fuzzy mouth

"Put Your Foot On The Fuzzbox Baby" Helen Love _Radio Hits 3_
"Fuzzbox (feat. Jon Spencer)" Bomb The Bass _Future Chaos_
"Kinda Fuzzy" Eels _Wonderful, Glorious_
"Fuzzy Soft Thing" Dennis Olivieri _Come To The Party_
"Fuzzy Sun" Jim O'Rourke _Halfway To A Threeway_

conclusion & goodbye

"Gertrude McFuzz" Dr. Seuss _Dr. Seuss Presents Fox In Socks, Horton Hatches The Egg, & Other Stories, Including The Sneetches_

Whither Fuzz?

(Image from here.)

This portion of the blog - the point in the week, usually the day before the show, where I discuss how I came up with the upcoming theme - I've been doing this since the beginning of the blog, seventy-nine years ago.  The presumption - wholly mine - was that surely there was an interesting story behind every idea.  I guess I was imagining myself being constantly inspired, like the show was always on the forefront of my mind, & those moments of inspiration - happening like an epiphany - would be good narratives.

This has not proven to be the case.  Here are the two main origins of themes for Self Help Radio:

1) I don't know.
2) I can't recall.

They may seem the same, but one is utter ignorance, the other is a somber recognition of my increasingly faulty memory.

Indeed, it's often the case that I know more why possible reasons for the show's theme are false than why they're true.  For example, this week's show, which is about fuzz: it's not because of the noise, or the effects pedal.  I wasn't really thinking that, & have been happily surprised there are many songs celebrating that aspect of fuzz.

While I can't say it with much certainty, if there's a discernible origin for this week's show, it's the fact that I am surrounded by fuzzy creatures.  Dogs & cats.  Too much fuzz.  If in fact they gave me the idea for the show, well, they're not taking the credit.  But they've heard me ruin good ideas time & again.

So let's hope I clear up my fuzzy brain & get the show together at noon tomorrow over on Self Help Radio dot net.  There are lots of songs with lots of fuzz & there'll even be an interview or two.  It won't give you the warm fuzzies or anything, but it'll be better than being shot by the fuzz.  You know?

Preface To Fuzz: Shades Of Fuzziness

Listen to this creepy Wikipedia article's beginning: "Body hair, or androgenic hair, is the terminal hair that develops on the human body during & after puberty. It is differentiated from the head hair & less visible vellus hair, which are much finer & lighter in color."

There's a continuum, you see: head hair, body hair, vellus hair.  As the article on vellus hair explains, "Vellus hair is sometimes colloquially referred to as peach fuzz, due to its resemblance to the downy epidermic growths on the peach fruit."

Have you ever heard the phrase "vellus hair"?  Me neither.  Why vellus?  & how is it there's a word that rhymes with jealous that no one's told me about?

"Vellus" is apparently Latin for "fleece" or "wool."  The wife is an anatomist, & she has been complaining recently about how complicated it can be to name different parts of the body (mostly interior).  I'm not going to remember what particular part of the brain she was talking about, but it apparently looked like - if I remember correctly - a bridle.  So instead of calling it "the bridle," they refer to it as the Latin word for "bridle."  This smells like some elitist 17th century shit right here, doesn't it?  I told her to just call it "the bridle."  She will not take my advice.

It is fuzzy fun to imagine a more complicated spectrum of fuzziness, from bald to hirsute.  I am a little sad about how the body gets so hairy in the weirdest of places (I'm calling you out, ears!).  & then doesn't - like, what the fuck is happening on my head?  Why does baldness happen?  It won't even be fuzzy up there in a few years.  Few years?  A few months!

There's a memory I have - maybe I've shared it here before - when I was in ninth grade, I was bored in our house - the one we briefly shared with my mother's boyfriend Ed, in late 1982 - the only time, I think, after my mother left my father when I was four in which there was an adult male in the house - I saw his razor & shaving cream & decided to shave my face.  I had a layer of peach fuzz on my mug & thought, hey, let's do this.

Of course I had no clue what I was doing - I sometimes think my own reticence to shave these days comes from the fact that there was no one to actually teach me how to do it - & I probably didn't use enough cream or scraped too hard or whatever - but in any event, my face burned after that experience.

& then - I didn't shave again for maybe two years.  Maybe less than.  I have a specific memory.

My friend Dale - who would leave Garland after our ninth grade year, but whom I would find again in my third year at the University of Texas - & hey, he's doing okay for himself - I had known Dale since the first grade, & for some weird reason in my freshman year, his locker was above mine - I have a memory of grabbing my books in between classes & saying hello to him & him saying to me, "You know, Dickerson" - he called me by my last name in those days, thanks to shared P.E. experiences - he said, "Dickerson, those sideburns aren't working for you."

The upshot of my pathetic shaving adventure was that I grew sideburns!  I have no idea if I shaved them off - I don't remember shaving regularly until maybe eleventh grade - but who knows?  I was pretty self-conscious then.

Seriously, I should've left my peach fuzz alone.

All Fifty Ways

On this past week's show, I read from a recently-unearthed lyrics sheet by Paul Simon which included all fifty ways he envisioned to "leave your lover."  Simon had intended to record a masterpiece in which he could share this musically, but his unerring pop instincts also told him if he simply included a few of the fifty ways, he could have a hit single, which is of course what happened.  There was a great deal of cocaine involved, & he never got around to going back into the studio to record the full lyrics, but, as I said, I have a copy, & I share them with you.  You can sing them out loud if you'd like.

Here are the (numbered) fifty ways that Paul Simon believed you could leave your lover.  The first five are familiar to you from the single:

01. Just slip out the back, Jack.
02. Make a new plan, Stan.
03. You don't need to be coy, Roy.
04. Hop on the bus, Gus.
05. Just drop off the key, Lee.

Here are the rest:

06. Don't go back again, Ken.
07. Try not to be a jerk, Kirk.
08. Maybe give one last kiss, Chris.
09. Leave her in your will, Bill.
10. Don't let yourself get sad, Chad.
11. Just pretend she's gone, John.
12. Act aloof & chilly, Willie
13. Make her think you're dead, Ted.
14. Relocate to Samoa, Noah.
15. Ditch her at baggage claim, James.
16. Learn the proper way to hasten, Jason.
17. Maybe use a motorcycle, Michael.
18. Or just any kind of bike, Mike.
19. Stop having so much sex, Rex.
20. Start acting Elizabethan, Ethan.
21. Replace with a cocker spaniel, Daniel.
22. Get a little fat, Matt
23. Just try to be frank, Hank.
24. Don't start a riot, Wyatt.
25. Act like a rogue knave, Dave.
26. Beg, borrow, or barter, Carter.
27. Replace her with a maiden, Jayden.
28. Don't say where you're going, Owen.
29. Make sure you're ready & willing, Dylan.
30. Be honest what you like, Ike.
31. Break all the rules, Jules.
32. Say you're brainwashed, Josh.
33. Find something else to do, Drew.
34. Just start lying, Ryan.
35. Life's not gonna wait, Nate.
36. Tell her your barren, Darren.
37. Try to stay calm, Tom.
38. Wish her the best of luck, Chuck.
39. Tell her you're a goner, Connor.
40. Explain that you're not ready, Eddie.
41. Consume too much brandy, Andy.
42. Show her that you're a snob, Bob.
43. Act like you're too sick, Nick.
44. Get thrown out like the trash, Ash.
45. Change into a madame, Adam.
46. Keep acting like a freak, Zeke.
47. Do it face-to-face, Chase.
48. Talk to a lawyer, Sawyer.
49. There's no one left to convince, Vince.
& finally:
50. Just fucking leave, Steve.

My First Radio Show In Portland

It was this one.  I subbed a folk music show.  You can listen to it over on this page if you want.  I think it went all right, although my first call was from someone who said I talked too much.

Here's the playlist:

"Over & Away She Goes" Bill Fox _Shelter From The Smoke_
"Who's Gonna Love You Now?" Peter Mulvey _There Is Another World_
"Freight Train Boogie" Red Foley _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 12: 1947_

"That's What I Want To Hear" Phil Ochs _Farewells & Fantasies_
"Benny's TV Repair" Irene Kelley _Benny's TV Repair_
"Katie Cruel" Karen Dalton _In My Own Time_
"Hope To Be That Happy" Ordinary Elephant _Honest_
"Marianne" The Easy Riders _The Easy Riders_

"Girl From Vernon Mountain" Chris Lucey _Songs Of Protest & Anti-Protest_
"Anchors" Damien Jurado _In The Shape Of A Storm_
"Rock Island Line" Odetta _Looking For A Home_
"Philosophers, Poets, & Kings" Kate Rusby _Philosophers, Poets, & Kings_
"Worthless" Anna Tivel _The Question_

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" Peggy Seeger _Folk Song America: A 20th Century Revival_
"Sunny Days" Rising Appalachia _Leylines_
"Puccini" Kath Bloom & Loren Mazzacane _Moonlight_
"AGT" Mountain Man _Magic Ship_
"Me & My Charms" Kristin Hersh _Hips & Makers_

"The Neatest Hand" The Guild League _Private Transport_
"Morning Again (Alternate Version)" Tom Paxton _The Essential_
"Won't Be Satisfied" Courtney Hartman _Ready Reckoner_
"There Will Be A Reckoning" Billy Bragg _Tooth & Nail_
"Crossing To Jerusalem" Rosanne Cash _She Remembers Everything_