Saturday, November 16, 2019

Preface To Number One Radio Show: What Is Sleep Anyway?

Do you get a good night's sleep?  Like, maybe six or seven or eight hours of sleep a night?  Really?  What's that like?

If you can indulge me, I'd like to describe an average couple of days - Sunday through Tuesday, so three days - for me.  By the way, there are many ways these days could be organized differently, but that would require foresight by yours truly, & that's not happening.

I wake after a probably drunken sleep Sunday morning.  Hey!  It was Saturday night!

I spend most of the day (there are dogwalks & hopefully a nap & I have to make dinner as well) working on Self Help Radio.  If you don't listen to the show - & maybe if you do - you're not aware of the work I put into the silly interviews, the selection of songs, the somewhat-amusing interstitial pieces.  It takes a while.  I haven't come up with a good system for all this.  I wish I could.  I have tried lots of things.  None seems more streamlined than another.

Usually I get to bed around ten or maybe eleven pm on Sunday nights.  This hurts a little, because it has meant, since I got my Freeform show, I miss John Oliver.  I can see him on Monday but for some reason I like to see things live or mostly live.  Anyway.  We make sacrifices.

What happens is I sleep a fitful few hours.  I wake at 4am, I shower, I gather my things, I head out to Freeform, which is north of here, & about fifteen to twenty minutes away, at 5am.  I stop to get a soda at a 7-11, I like to have a little caffeine, but I am there twenty or so minutes early.  It's who I am.  Don't judge me.

The show happens.  I hope it goes well.  The show that follows mine is awesome & I chat with the deejay.  I drive home, it's 8am, I avoid the highway.  I get home around 8:30.  If the wife is home, we walk the dogs.  Mostly she walks the dogs while I am on the radio.

Around 9:30 I feed my animals.  At some point I have lunch.  It's a haze around that time.  Did I lunch or feed the animals?  Have they eaten me?  I fed them, then.

For two hours - after lunch - I sleep.  It's not always noon to two, but it's around then.  It's not entirely restful or pleasant but it's necessary.  I sometimes oversleep.  I sometimes don't.  What do you want from me?

When I wake, I need to work on my show from XRAY.  Before that, though, I edit my Self Help Radio episode for the website, & write on this here blog, &etc.  I have a rough recording that I have to edit.  I don't change anything about the airbreaks - how could I?  You hear the show as it happened.

The XRAY show gets my attention.  Then, at some point, it's evening, the wife is home, I make dinner, there's the requisite dogwalk.

Sometimes I have the XRAY show done around the time I feed the kids, 9:30 or so.  Sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I can nap from ten to midnight.  Sometimes I don't.

Around 1am, I gather stuff & head out to XRAY (which is across the street from Freeform), & I program the show Sugar Substitute.  I am done at 4am, I head home.

Mostly I get maybe two or three hours sleep before I am awakened for the morning dogwalk.  Some Tuesdays I don't get to go back to sleep until the evening, some Tuesdays I nap after lunch.  But mostly I operate on very little sleep.

Is this sustainable?  Next week I am subbing a show on KBOO on Wednesday night/Thursday morning from midnight to 3am.  When am I supposed to sleep?  What is a good night's sleep, anyway?  As I have grown older, my dreams have gotten more vivid, memorable, & confusing.  I think I enter REM sleep right after I conk out.

Is it because for three or four days of the week, my sleep is erratic & limited?  I wish I knew.

Friday, November 15, 2019

When Will I Ever Learn?

People often say, "When will I ever learn?" after they have done something stupid, specifically something stupid they've done before.  Like buying a car from a family member.

"I bought this 1995 Dodge Dart from my brother Wayne for what I thought was a sweet deal - four hundred bucks!  Now I realize it's because the engine is made of dark chocolate.  Oh when will I ever learn?"

Sometimes, when staring at a screen or an empty page or the sky, a phrase will pop into my head.  If I am in front of a computer screen, I can sometimes type it into a text program or a search engine; if I have a pen or pencil, I can scribble it done; if I am staring into the sky, I can imagine it as if written by precocious birds showing off a little because they can.  & I will say to myself, "Why did I think of that?"

& so a few minutes ago, in regards to nothing, my brain said this to me: "When will I ever learn?"  It was followed by a brief memory of the frontage road that goes from Alta Mere Drive to I-30 in Fort Worth (going east).  That's how I often got onto I-30 on the way to Dallas.  I must've driven that way hundreds of times, so it's natural that occasionally I remember that route, although why I remembered it randomly while thinking of the phrase "When will I ever learn?" is a mystery.

It strikes me that, idioms aside, I really don't know when or if I'll ever learn why some phrases trigger seemingly random visual memories.  That happens more than I care to admit.  & right now I don't care to admit that.

Speaking of "care to admit," check out this lovely exchange, from here:

What is the meaning of care to admit in the context below?
I go to the bathroom, too. Sometimes more frequently than I care to admit.
Why do people use this "than I care to admit" in what situations?

When you're saying something that you don't usually tell anyone, or say in public because you might be embarrassed about it, shy or simply just don't want to tell.

Mostly used in a non-serious way, although there may be exceptions:

I love her more than I care to admit. (basically would mean: I love her more than I really want to tell anyone/her)

I cry whenever I see a sad movie, more than I care to admit. (basically would mean:I cry whenever I see a sad movie more than I want to tell anyone/Let anyone know)

He eats more than he cares to admit (basically would mean: He eats more than he wants to tell anyone)

Thursday, November 14, 2019

When Does A Thursday Not Feel Like A Thursday?

When it's Thursday.

Alas, I am too old to submit this wonderful riddle I just made up on my very own to one of my favorite Twitter accounts, Kids Write Jokes.  Here's a recent joke that's amazing:

Why did the banana flush himself down the toilet?

Because he was peeled

This is something I've noticed: people make these accounts & a select few get book deals.  I bet the kids don't see any of that cash, do they?  It's the curators in this society that are making the big literary bucks these days.

Anyway, I am busy writing jokes that people will think kids wrote, & that's a Thursday for me, more a less.

When is it a Friday for me?

When I haven't gone home yet.

Hm.  Better stick to curating.

Monday, November 11, 2019

Self Help Radio 111119: Weird

There's an interesting story about that image up there.  The original (without the SHR logo) was taken by me when we visited Portland in November of 2017.  We had no idea we'd be living here two years later.  The original is a bunch of signs to pointing to hotels & fast food joints, under which (as you can see) someone just posted a sign that said "weird."  I have no idea what the story behind it is.

Portland has the capacity for great weirdness, & that's one of its many charms.  By contrast, the Dallas area has pockets of weirdness but the overwhelming money-grubbing desperation & money-celebrating inebriation of the metroplex makes weirdness a precious commodity.  There never was a "Keep Dallas Weird" campaign as far as I could tell, because Dallas was never really weird.  (I'd guess however there were many "Keep [insert area of Dallas] Weird" campaigns.)

We talk about Portland's weirdness & we celebrate it & we ask for you to support the experiment in free expression that is Freeform Portland on this week's Fall Fundraiser show.  Your support is greatly appreciated!  & I thank Jaxxmaster Kevrock for helping me out today.

Please excuse the long airbreaks - there are super tunes here in-between.  Listen now at Self Help Radio's website & remember the username (SHR) & password (selfhelp).  It's one long two-hour mp3 & what songs I play are below.

Did I thank you for your support?  Give what you can to help out our amazing little station!

Back to the regular weirdness next week.


Self Help Radio Weird Show

"Weird" The Wee Four _She'll Hurt You In The End (Teener Garage Explosion Volume 2!)_
"Weird" Kicking Giant _Halo_
"I'm Weird" Guana Batz _Loan Sharks_

"Whole Weird World" The Chills _Kaleidoscope World_
"Worlds Gone Weird" Crystal Stilts _Nature Noir_
"Weird On Me" Lloyd Cole _She's A Girl & I'm A Man_

"Weirdo" New Order _Brotherhood_
"Weirdo" The Charlatans _Between 10th & 11th_
"Weirdo (At 25,000 Miles Per Hour)" The Dentists _Deep Six_

"You Make Me Feel Like A Weirdo" Pataphysics _Take A Look Out Your Window_
"All The Weird Kids Know" Built By Snow _Mega_
"Totally Wired" The Fall _Totally Wired: The Rough Trade Anthology_

"Weird Diseases" The Magnetic Fields _50 Song Memoir_
"Weird Heart" The Lovely Eggs _Have You Ever Heard The Lovely Eggs?_
"Weird Son" Cloud Nothings _Leave You Forever EP_

"Some Weird Sin" Iggy Pop _Lust For Life_
"Is She Weird" Pixies _Bossanova_
"Extremely Weird Snakes" The Snow Queen _The Patio Collection Volume Two_

"I Like You Weird" Love Love _Love Love_
"Weirdoz Everywhere" The Prefab Messiahs _Keep Your Stupid Dreams Alive_
"Weird With You" Ex Cops _Daggers_

"Wonder" Colin Meloy _Colin Meloy Sings Live!_
"It's So Weird" Juliana Hatfield _Weird_

Sunday, November 10, 2019

Whither Weird?

(Just a shirt.  From here.)

What does it say on the Self Help Radio web site?  "A Weird Show."  I guess it's better than "weirdness."  & it can't be The Weirdo Show, as that was a great radio show that aired on KVRX in the 1990s, & there's no way I can compete with that.  So I guess "weird" covers it?

The show was conceived by me knowing it would be during the Fall Fundraiser, & I wanted to be weird because sometimes my favorite stuff on Freeform is a bit weird.  I thought I could weird it up.  You know?

Be weird with me, listen tomorrow from 6-8am on Freeform Portland.  & think about helping out, please.  We need your help to meet our goal & continue being as weird as possible for you every night & day.

This wasn't terribly weird & I hope to make up for it tomorrow.