Saturday, November 13, 2021


(image + instructions here)

You don't have to tell me that it went unnoticed that there was not a new episode of Self Help Radio this week.  The show has disappeared without a trace from many radio stations, & will do so again.  Obscurity is always the same kind of punishment, something akin to neglect really.  So I didn't expect anyone to reach out & say, "Hey! Did something happen to that show on Tuesdays?"  No one did.

Still, I can imagine a crazy science fiction alternative reality where at least one person likes the show & kind of misses it, & I'm hoping this blog post falls into a wormhole or something & gets to that person, as the Gary in that reality might have already totally given up.  This blog post is for you!

If you missed this week's Self Help Radio, & were thinking, "I guess I can wait till Monday night but I have time right now to listen to a radio program," might I suggest you listen the show's sibling-program, The Dickenbock Report?  It's a lot like Self Help Radio except there aren't any collaborators & it pretends it's a newscast hosted by Dick Dickenbock.

There were two new episodes in the past two weeks, which are on the Self Help Radio website if you wanna listen to them.  One was for National Candy Day (November 4) & featured nothing but songs entitled "Candy."  The other was for National Origami Day (November 11) & featured songs about origami.  That was a tough one, I kinda hoped someone would have said, wow you found two hours of songs about origami?  But of course no one listens so, you know, there's no one to be impressed by the show.

Anyway, imaginary other-dimensional listener, you can find those shows by clicking the links above, or these here: candy show + origami show.  Remember you'll need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen.  They might be enjoyable if you're the odd person that wished they could have heard Self Help Radio this week but did not.

By the way, I am aware that Self Help Radio covered the theme "candy" way back in 2005.  It was a completely different show, I promise.

One last thing - I also subbed a show on XRAY this past week, you can listen to it over on their website.  If you wanna.

That's all!  New show Monday!  I promise to no one at all!

Friday, November 12, 2021

Climb It

That photo, like this particular post, means nothing.  But it's been days since the previous post, which promised a radio show about socks, & there wasn't one.  There was a Self Help Radio this week at all.

Perhaps you get all your Self Help Radio news from this blog.  If so, that's not the best idea.  Information appeared on the show's Facebook page as well as in the show's Twitter feed that an emergency occurred which made it impossible for me to do the show, & a repeat was played instead.

What was the emergency?  It was about one of my elderly animals.  He's fine, although we're taking him to a specialist tomorrow.  So perhaps he's not fine.  We don't know, actually.  It's been quite stressful.

Anyway, I'm fond of taking pictures of telephone poles & wires.  I'm a little amazed how they're all around us but we taking them for granted.  On long road trips, when I wasn't driving, I loved to just follow the single wire that seems to run alongside the highway, so different from the many wires in the city.

The socks show will happen Monday.  At least I hope so.

Monday, November 08, 2021

Whither Socks?

(Retro radio socks - available - & image from - here.)

A radio show about socks.  I don't understand why there would be any questions about a radio show about socks.  Chances are, you're wearing socks now.  What else are you - & everyone else who might be near you - wearing no matter who you are, how you identify yourself, what age you might be?  Socks.  Probably just socks.  So damn it, socks get a radio show!

& you might think, have we gotten to the point in Self Help Radio where Gary's just staring at common things around the house & saying, "Yeah, let's do a radio show about that."  What's next?  Tables?  Hungry cats?  Nosy neighbors?  A glass of whiskey too early in the day?

The truth is, I don't remember why I thought it would be fun to do a show about socks.  But it will be!  Lots of songs & lots of guests.  Even if you don't like socks - & one of my guests does not - it'll be a grand time.  Like running around a shiny wooden floor in your socks!

Tonight! From midnight to 3am! On 90.7 fm KBOO in Portland.  Online at  I would say, "It'll knock your socks off," but it's cold out.  That would be mean.

Sunday, November 07, 2021

Preface To Socks: Dick Wears Black Sox

(image from here)

This is true: I just wear black socks.  & there's really one kind of black socks I like, the ones linked above, by Dickies.  Officially they're Dickies' Non-Binding Crew Socks.  They feel like your average sock but are black.  Other black socks are usually for dress shows, & they're too thin.  Dickies black socks are just right.

This is the rare occasion where I have an opinion about what I wear.  I generally wear tee shirts & jeans or shorts (depending on the weather) & don't really pay otherwise much attention - as a woman at KOOP in Austin told me once, "You dress like a thirteen year old boy!"  But I prefer to wear black socks.

Why though?  I dunno.  When did I start doing that?  Probably in the 1990s at some point.  I was definitely a black sock fellow by the early 2000s when my nephew moved in with us.  He apparently started wearing black socks too, because one trip back to my hometown my sister - his mother - asked me, "What have you done to my son?"  Apparently somehow encouraging him to wear black socks (which I only could have done by example) was worse than all the drinking he & I did together.

It might seem I am mentioning this to endorse a product, but that would somehow mean I was enough of a "celebrity" to "endorse" anything.  I'm not.  If Dickies thought to send me some socks, however, I would not be averse to such a delightful gift.  Though I probably won't talk about socks again on Self Help Radio after this week's show.  So Dickies would have very little to gain indeed.