Saturday, November 23, 2019

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2019: Do-Over

Yesterday I wrote about my disdain for radio shows that basically program the same show every year for holidays or whatever, playing the same songs over & over, & how in a sort of reaction to that I deliberately choose to rarely if ever repeat myself with both themes & even holiday themes.

The reason I brought this up was because, for maybe the first time, I'm going to repeat myself for my wife's birthday show.  I said I'd tell you just why I'm doing that on the blog today, & so I shall.

Reason number one: I've never done a birthday show in Portland before.

Yeah, that's true.  Listeners here haven't heard the first fourteen or fifteen birthday shows, so they might be confused why I'd have a birthday show & not played a favorite - which I might have played over a decade ago.  & the show has just been on the air for like two months - how the hell is anyone to know I don't repeat myself?

Reason number two: I haven't really been looking for new birthday songs.

This is also true.  For some reason I just haven't taken the time to look for new birthday songs.  I have a handful, & some from last year I didn't play, but I don't know if it's enough to program two hours.  That's on me, I know - I certainly could take the time & dig for more birthday songs.  But then there's...

Reason number three: Sleep deprivation.

As I wrote here on this blog a week ago, I haven't slept a lot recently.  In fact, earlier this week I got very little sleep because I did three shows on three different radio stations within about four days. Sleep happened in snatched moment.  My thought about basically re-running an episode of Self Help Radio - not really a re-run, more a clip show - was that I could perhaps get a little sleep this week.

Have I?  I have!

Wait, did I just say "a clip show"?  What does that mean?  I'll talk about that tomorrow.

Friday, November 22, 2019


As a rule, I'm opposed to doing the same thing on Self Help Radio.  I don't repeat themes unless they're holiday-related (including my anniversary) & even then I try to make them "new," whether playing Christmas music I've never played before on my Christmas show or coming up with a new Halloween-related theme on my Halloween show.

Why do I do this?  I guess I've listened to too many lazy themed shows in my life.  At one station I deejayed at, there was a blues program that played Elvis all December long.  His Christmas music.  He's not even a blues performer.  A whole month of programming just thrown out the window because, for some reason, the programmer believed the same Elvis songs they played every year should be played around Christmas.

Perhaps I am rebelling against that sort of radio show.

Except.  This week, I'm sort of doing a rerun.

It's for the annual birthday show I've done around the time of my wife's birthday every year.  In eighteen years of Self Help Radio, I've programmed fifteen years of birthday music for her.  That's a lot of birthday songs.  & I have to confess: there are plenty more.  There are as many birthday songs as there are Christmas songs.  Or at least almost as many.

One thing I used to say is that, however, the majority of those songs (like the majority of Christmas songs) aren't very good.  I don't think that's true.  I simply don't like the majority of those birthday songs.  You might.  Saying something is good or bad is a subjective opinion stated as fact & I find that boorish & limiting.

In any event: not this year.  I am sort of creating a rerun this year.  To be sure, I'll be in the studio at Freeform running the board & doing the airbreaks.  But I will choose from a selection of birthday songs from the past fifteen shows & replaying some of my favorite fake interviews from the last few years.

But why?  Why now?  I'll tell you tomorrow.

Thursday, November 21, 2019


If you'd like to hear the sub show I did last night - which was of a heavy metal show, but I am not a heavy metal guy - so I play lots of noisy indie rock & some of what they used to call "post-hardcore" - but not a lot of punk - you can listen to it at the KBOO Pandeamonium page.

KBOO archives all their shows, which is super cool.  It's three hours long, & feels like it.  Around 2:56am, I wondered where the next deejay was, & she just magically showed up - apparently she was sleeping in the little room in the back where people can dub CDs from the music library.

So lucky I wasn't deejaying in the nude like I usually do.

Monday, November 18, 2019

Self Help Radio 111819: Number One Radio Show

(foam finger from here)

Imagine if anyone actually listened to Self Help Radio & they thought I was really calling the show the "number one radio show"?  I'd catch such shit.  Luckily we live & breathe in obscurity.

They'd be wrong, of course, to think the show was billing itself as the "number one radio show."  It's mainly about being "number one."  Whether being a number one something (fan, son, etc.) or being someone's "number one," it was the idea of a ranked position & not the number itself.  So that imaginary person I invented who bristles at the idea of anyone thinking Self Help Radio is the "number one radio show" can go take a limping leap at the moon.

Still, this might be the number one radio show to examine the idea of "number one."  Let's just say that it is until such time as evidence exists to suggest otherwise.

The show is safely sitting at Self Help Radio dot net when you want to listen.  The number one thing to remember about listening is that you need a username - SHR - & a password - selfhelp - to do so.  What happens on the show is below, songs & interviews.

We're (almost certainly not) number one! We're (almost certainly not) number one!

Self Help Radio Number One Show

"Number One" Etta James _R & B Dynamite_
"Number One" The Exciters _The Golden Torch Revisited_
"Number One" The Sad Sack Set _ Die Frankfurt Szene - Smash ...! Boom ...! Bang ...!_

introduction & definitions

"Number One" Bill Moss _Eccentric Soul: The Capsoul Label_
"Number One" Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge _Natural Act_
"Number One" The Groove Farm _Plug (The Story Of Pop So Far)_
"Number One" Autumn Teen Sound _Seven Summers (International Pop, Vol. 2)_
"Number One" Colleen Green _Sock It To Me_

interview with Rupert Gleam
Ned Dry interrupts

"Being Number One" Black Box Recorder _Passionoia_
"Number Ones" The Push Kings _The Push Kings_
"Cretinous Number Ones" Guided By Voices _How Do You Spell Heaven?_
"I Take It You Are Prepared To Meet Number 1?" The Prisoner _The Prisoner [File #3] (Original Television Soundtrack)_
"The No. 1 Song In Heaven" Sparks _No. 1 In Heaven_

interview with writer/producer of # 1 pop songs Rupert Gleam

"Lonesome Number One" Roy Orbison _Roy Orbison Sings Don Gibson_
"Hello Number One" Kitty Wells & Red Foley _Together Again_
"Number One Son" Camera Obscura _Underachievers Please Try Harder_
"# 1 Must Have" Sleater-Kinney _All Hands On The Bad One_
"Number One Fantastic Day" Helen Love _Radio Hits 3_

interview with seeking of #1 world records Lollop Chumsy

"Number One Fool" The Fabulous Emotions _Northern Soul Fever 3_
"Number One In Your Heart" The Monitors _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 6: 1966_
"Number One Attraction" The Younghearts _All About Love_
"I'm Still # 1 (Numero Uno Re-Recording)" Boogie Down Productions _Jack Of Spades_

a list of seven United States number ones

"My Number One" Gregory Isaacs _The Story Of Jamaican Music (Tougher Than Tough)_
"Number One Station" Dennis Alcapone _High Explosion (DJ Sounds From 1970 To 1976)_
"Number One Fan" Homer & Jethro _Any News From Nashville?_
"Koi No Ban Ban (Number One Edition Of Love)" Linda Yamamoto _Nippon Girls (Japanese Pop, Beat, & Bossa Nova 1966-1970)_
"Number 1 Boy" Astro Babys _Sweet Hot Drive_

conclusion & goodbye

"Tighten Up (Japanese Gentlemen Stand Up Please)" Yellow Magic Orchestra _Kyoretsu Na Rhythm_
"Straight To... Number One (Dreamcatcher's Mix)" Touch & Go _Queer As Folk_
"Girl Number One" Tim Yen Yen _Everything Beautiful Reminds Me Of You_

Sunday, November 17, 2019

Whither Number One Radio Show?

(I honestly could have made this myself but I am lazy so I took the above image from this website.)

Let me clear up a misconception.  This week's Self Help Radio is not proclaiming itself to be the "number one radio show."  If there were indeed rankings of radio programs - & I think there might be - Self Help Radio wouldn't even make the list.  No, this week's show is exploring the idea of being "number one."

Maybe you think it's just about the number one.  No, it's about the idea of being "number one."  If it were about the number one, the show would just have the theme "one."

What does it mean, being "number one"?  According to the Urban Dictionary, "number one" can mean:

1) Yourself.  Gotsta look after number one

2) The best, greatest of all time.  He was number one after he won

3) The shortest haircut a guy (or gal) can get.  Check out that bogan with a number one!

4) When you pee/piss/urinate.  Hey I'll be right back. I've got to go take a number one!

For our purposes, I think the show will cover definition number 2.

Do you understand now?  Listen tomorrow morning from 6-8 am on Freeform Portland & you'll understand.  Or maybe not.  There are no promises being made.