Saturday, March 02, 2013


Shocker!  This week's Self Help Radio shocked no-one!

Relive all the shocks by listening to the show now available on the Self Help Radio website!  Or listen to the show directly by clicking these links: part one! & part two!  Songs guaranteed to be shocking are listed below.

Rats!  Self Help Radio has no shock value.

Thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Shock" Psychedelic Furs_ Midnight To Midnight_
"The Shocking Truth" Flux Information Sciences _Private/Public_
"Beautiful Shock" Robyn Hitchcock _Shadow Cat_

"The Ghost Chained To The Past, Present, & Future (Shock Treatment)" GTO's: Girls Together Outrageously _Permanent Damage_
"Shock Treatment" Richard O'Brien _The Rocky Horror Show_
"Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment" The Ramones _Hey! Ho! Let's Go: The Anthology_
"Electric Shock" The Human League _Credo_
"Electro-Shock Blues" Eels _Electro-Shock Blues_

"Future Shock" Curtis Mayfield _In Yo' Face!: The History Of Funk, Vol. 2_
"Future Shock" The Gordons _Future Shock EP_
"Wire Shock" Brian Eno _Nerve Net_
"Atomic Shockwaves" Spanish Dogs _Don't Sweat The Petty Things..._

"Euphemisms - Shell Shock To PTSD" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_

(part two)

"Shellshock" New Order _Singles_
"In Shock" Kristin Hersh _Learn To Sing Like A Star_
"Shock The Monkey" Don Ho _When Pigs Fly: Songs You Never Thought You'd Hear_

"Shock Rock" T.Rex _Tanx_
"Culture Shock (live)" Rezillos _Can't Stand The Rezillos: The (Almost) Complete Rezillos_
"Shock Mount" Dub Narcotic Sound System _Out Of Your Mind_
"Shock Of The New" Trees _Sleep Convention_

"Shock Me (live)" Red House Painters_Retrospective_
"Shocked By A Revelation" Trampoline _spinART Pop Licks 7" Box Set_
"Shocked" The Snitches _Metamorphosis_
"Two Shocks" Brakes _Touchdown_

"Shock-A-Doo" Cadillacs _Crazy Cadillacs_
"Booker T & His Electric Shock" Markley _A Group_
"Shocked" Tangiers _Hot New Spirits_

Friday, March 01, 2013

Whither Shock?

It realize that it's been a while since I have actually "explained" my choice of themes.  I am usually writing this minutes before my show on Friday & it's mainly me saying "Listen to my show please! Or if not listen to it later please!"  I've never have my shizzle together enough to actually write about the whys & wherefores or a certain theme.

Did I ever do that?  Maybe I did.

So, why "shock"?  Is March the first a shocking day?  Have I finally taken everyone's advice & gotten electroshock therapy?  Would I like for my show - which is rather predictable & hasn't shocked anyone ever - except when they say, "I'm shocked it's still on the air!" - to somehow be shocking?  Is that why that theme has emerged?

Who knows?  I don't know why I picked that theme.  Suddenly it was in the queue.  I am probably the only one mildly shocked by the fact that "shock" is this week's theme on Self Help Radio.

Waitaminute...  I think I remember...  What about that time my wife told me that it would feel good if I stuck a wet fork in that electrical outlet?  What?  Oh.  My wife is telling me that never happened, & for sure the memory is hazy, like a dream.  Only, why is she giggling?

Hey!  Don't be shocked!  Self Help Radio's show about "shock" is on this afternoon from 4 to 6 pm on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  You can listen online at wrfl dot fm during those times.

& yeah, I'll put it on the Self Help Radio web site later.  Nothing shocking there.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Preface To Shock: Shock Jocks

Apparently this fellow here, named Roy O'Connor, has written a book called Shock Jocks: Hate Speech & Talk Radio, which has some very polarized opinions about its quality on its Amazon page.

I haven't read it, & probably never will, but I'd probably agree with the author about the hate speech part.  Except I don't think Roosh Limboo & Shawn Hammertime (I'd hate for people looking for those guys to find my blog) (you know who I'm talking about anyway) as "shock jocks."  The Wikipedia says a shock jock is "a type of radio broadcaster or disc jockey who entertain listeners or attracts attention using humor &/or melodramatic exaggeration that a notable portion of the listening audience may find offensive."  I don't think right-wing radio guys are interested in shocking anyone except the people their desired audience hates.  They are more interested in delighting their desired audience - & offending their perceived enemies makes the talk radio hosts lots & lots of money.

But here's the weird thing.  Imagine you've written a book.  It's out of print, but surely you're proud of it.  You've even registered your own domain name:  Except when you go to that site, you find a boring placeholder page comparing bogus fad exercise devices.  Dude!  You wrote a whole motherflipping book!  How do you let your domain names lapse?

I've actually known a lot of people who've let their domain names lapse.  It reminds me of the ephemeral quality of this ubiquitous internet.  It still sort of shocks me when it happens.

Meanwhile, isn't Howard Stern a better example of a shock jock?  & isn't the jock in "shock jock" from "disk jockey"?  Have any of those right-wing guys really handled an actual disc - an LP or a CD - any time recently?

Boom!  I just dissed an out-of-print book.  You can't wait to see what I'll do when its copyright lapses.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

President Of Snow

Who - do you know? - elects the President of Snow?  His (or her) domain seems vast when you're there, but there are places (lots of places) that the President of Snow does not go.

I knew a fellow who claim he talked on the phone with the President of Snow.  He was often alone.  He said that the President had no phone but he (or she - I never asked about the gender) used a pay phone near one of the Poles - North or South.

My friend tells me the name of the President of Snow is Joe.  Or maybe it's Jo - short for Johanna or Joan.  How should I know?  Sometimes Presidents have plain old names like Joe.  Or Jo.

I'm guessing there's not a lot of dough in being the President of Snow.  My friend tells me that Joe (or Jo) made much more money when he (or she) was the Emperor of Snow.  "But now," my friend says, "there's campaign money to be owed!"

Whoa!  A campaign for the President of Snow!  What a show that would be!  That's why I enjoy elections - they often upset the status quo.

But I still don't know who elects the President of Snow.  Long ago there was an Emperor of Snow, or so I'm told - but he (or she) had to forego the throne when times changed.  But he (or she) has been President of Snow for several terms in a row!

Hello, hello, President of Snow!  Can one day I vote for you?  Let me know.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Who's Prettier: Superman Or The Hulk?

The internet has captured conversations I had as a child with other children & made them as though between adults - or they are really adults after all - possibly even adults who were once children having the same argument.

Superman Vs Hulk: Who Would Win In A Fight

Answered definitively!  Superman would (spoiler alert) trap the Hulk in the Phantom Zone.

But what if it were just a slugfest?  Not just a "fight"?  Superman & the Hulk trapped on a planet where no one could be hurt but one of them had to "win" before some alien creature who transported them there would transport them back?

I hate that I am such a geek that I can't just say, "Trapped on a planet" without coming up with a scenario wherein the two are trapped on a planet.

Like, my brain says, "The upper atmosphere must be seeded with kryptonite but not so much that Superman is weakened even when he flies or else he could just escape."

I have begun to hit my brain until it stops thinking that.  Bam bam bam bam.

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Even though she watched the first several seasons of "Smallville" with me, my wife couldn't tell me Superman's Kryptonian name.  She did, however, remember the name "Clark Kent."  (She couldn't however remember the name of the Klingon messiah, Kahless.)  For this, we may need marriage counseling.