Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: International Chef Day

(comic from warandpeas.com)

October 20 is International Chef Day. Tomorrow on the Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM we'll talk about being a chef & play musical reports about chefs & cooking. We're also supposed to make Dick Dickenbock a seven-course meal but you don't need to know about that. It's pretty humiliating in fact.

Listen to the other stuff tho from noon to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland & online at xray dot fm. Seriously, don't mention that stuff about trained journalists having to cook for their boss. We'd appreciate it.

This Week In Self Help (Oct 13 + 15)

Hm. That doesn't look a panda.

Another busy week in radio! Let's see what happened.

Sunday was Paul Simon's 83rd birthday. On The Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM I played lots of Paul Simon songs not by Paul Simon. Listen to it on the XRAY web page. Or listen to it on the Self Help Radio web page. Psst - SHR is the login, selfhelp the password.

This week's Self Help Radio was about pandas - the animals, not the weird black workbenches (I'm guessing that's what that is up there). Listen to it on the KBOO web page. Or listen to it on the Self Help Radio web page. Psst - SHR is the login, selfhelp the password.

The last hour of the show on the KBOO page is an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming. I played lots of music by artists we lost in July of this year. You can listen to it on the KBOO link above or you can listen to it all by itself on the Self Help Radio web page. Psst - SHR is the login, selfhelp the password.

Finally - I foolishly agreed to sub a show on Tuesday afternoon on XRAY - the program Beautiful Music. I was very tired. I have not uploaded it to the Self Help Radio website yet but you can listen to it now on the XRAY website. I will try to remember to update the links here once it's on the Self Help Radio website.

Is that all? What? I'm on the radio tonight too?!? Yeah I'll wait to report that next week.

Self Help Radio 101524: Pandas

Here it is! Your radio show about pandas. Probably would've been cuter if I were in any way cute.

Listen to the show at the KBOO web site. Or listen at the Self Help Radio web page. Each is okay by me but if you listen at the Self Help Radio website please know the username is SHR & the password is selfhelp. That information might come in handy.

Lots of stuff happened during the show & almost all of it is listed below.

Yay pandas!

Self Help Radio Pandas Show

"Panda Riot" Our Hour _Little Darla Has A Treat For You (Volume Twelve Summer 1999)_

"Pictures Of Pandas Painting" They Might Be Giants _Here Come The ABCs_

"Panda Song" Audrey Ryan _Dishes & Pills_

introduction & definitions

"Pandas" Corky & The Juice Pigs _Corky & The Juice Pigs_

"Panda Eyes" Sing-Sing _The Joy Of Sing-Sing_

"Sex & Pandas" Mike Birbiglia _Two Drink Mike_

"Panda Panda Panda" Deerhoof _Apple O'_

"Oso Panda" Papá Topo _Oso Panda_

interview with "the Panda King" Johnny Bizarre

"Warm Panda Cola" The Boy Least Likely To _The Best Party Ever_

"Panda In The Rain" The Green Pajamas _If You Knew What I Dreamed... The Green Pajamas Play The Jeff Kelly Songbook_

"Pander! Panda! Panzer! (Excerpt)" Mark E. Smith _The Fall Box Set 1976-2007_

"Little Panda Bear" Kimya Dawson _Alphabutt_

"Panda Brain" The Telephone Company _Panda Brain!_

interview with voice actor Jackie Bodman ("Prudence Panda")

"More Pandas" Hey Young Believer _Invisible By Day_

"Pandas Are Cute" Matt Griffo _Wait, I Forgot That I Don't Love You_

"Wild Pandas" Walter Schreifels _An Open Letter To The Scene_

"Panda Butler" Matt Braunger _Shovel Fighter_

"Pandas Are Dangerous" Boogers _Extractum Victoris_

interview with "the panda guy" Jeff Dayer

"The Panda Bear Song" Foxes! _Foxes!_

"Panda Bear (feat. Alena Simone)" The Twigs _Jump Right In_ 

"Panda Eyes" Cocktails _Adult Life_

"Panda" The Hush Now _Sparkle Drive_

the truth about red pandas!

"Panda In The Chandelier" Tom Rosenthal _Bolu_

"Panda" Parekh & Singh _Ocean_

"Panda" Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine _Licensed To Spill_

"The Baby Panda" AJJ _Disposable Everything_

"Law & Panda" Weaves _Wide Open_

conclusion & goodbye

"Hey Panda" High Llamas _Hey Panda_

"Amanda The Panda" Aaron Raitiere _Simple Chimpanzee_

"Return Of The Panda" Teriyakis _Haunted Hungarian Sauna_

Whither Pandas?

(Panda Chair by Fernando & Humberto Campana, photo by me
taken at the Dallas Museum Of Art 2015)

Why a radio show about pandas? One might well ask why not a radio show about pandas?

Alas, the inspiration for this show was not the Chinese zoo who painted dogs to look like pandas. I thought about doing a show about pandas a bit longer ago than that news item. Though I suspect it might find its way into tonight's show nonetheless.

No, whatever caused me to begin to collect panda songs for a show about pandas is lost in the stinky mists of time. I mean, I assume the mists of time are stinky. Most of the world is stinky. Time is almost certainly stinky too.

No matter! The show about pandas happen tonight on 90.7fm which is KBOO! That's midnight to 2am! Also online at kboo dot fm! Pandas sure are cute! The radio show will not have that crucial visual element!

Preference To Pandas: Panda On A Picnic Bench (A Poem)

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
Was it a squire? was it a wench?
You see the ren fair was just in town
& you never know when they're here what kinds of shit will go down.

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
If only they'd left something useful - like a wrench
I mean I can't repair anything with a toy panda

Around here people think it's just Chinese propaganda.

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
What's worse the only language it speaks is French
& no one can make it what it's trying to say:
Quelqu'un peut-il aider ce pauvre panda s'il vous plaît ?

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
I'd be a hero, but I can't stand the stench
Yes that's a line from an Elvis Costello song

So if you said "I think he's out of ideas now" well you wouldn't be wrong.